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We'll_Never_Know

Joined April 2012
13 followers

We have no clue.

Groups

Stories (3)

  • Sunset
    The first of a four-part anthology, Celestia remembers past mistakes and receives disturbing news...

    6,194 words · 539 views · 13 likes · 0 dislikes
  • Lunar Dawn
    When war comes to their hometown, nine notable friends must use their Frienship to fight a new war.
    54,800 words · 573 views · 18 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Revenge
    The Sequel to Lunar Dawn, three different players race to achieve their goals and end the war.
    10,191 words · 371 views · 6 likes · 2 dislikes

Blog Posts (4)


Five years have passed since the division of Equestria, yet it seemed like eternity. After being forced to divide the lands  with her sister after an uprising all those years ago, Celestia hoped that one day, the states would reunite. However, things have turned to the worst.

In the town of Ponyville, nine rather notable friends find that a new kind of war was coming to Equestria, and in their own hometown. When invasion starts, they escape their town, in hopes of finding refuge outside in the wilderness. Now, with tasked to survive after their escape, the Mane 6 and the CMC learn that their friendship was not just magic now: it's necessary for survival. With the Lunars tyranically ruling their town, the nine also must fight off these new invaders, and drive them back to where they came.

Inspired by the 1984 war film, "Red Dawn", "Lunar Dawn" is a loose adaptation that will leave an impression on those who read it. A long read to be sure (divided into five parts), this story brings the tragic life of a freindship at war. Hopefully, it will be enjoyed by many.

future cover art provided by BlockEraser (aka Gigatoast)

First Published
15th May 2012
Last Modified
16th Aug 2012

Comments ( 29 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 114w, 6d ago · · ·

Looks good, can't wait to see how it shapes up.:twilightsmile:

#2 · Chapter 1 · 114w, 6d ago · · ·

Well, i knew the Film "Red Dawn". The Story is good so far and I hope, this Story here will continue.:twilightsmile:

#3 · Chapter 1 · 114w, 5d ago · · ·

I was enjoying this a LOT, but then the chapter ended. :raritycry::fluttercry: Make More, this fanfic is delicious! :pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

#4 · Chapter 1 · 114w, 5d ago · · ·

>>602472

Keep reading tonight...

To make the story flow better, I'll have to add some stuff to the end of part one (about three locations), and then Part 2 will come out sometime next week...

Glad you enjoy it!:rainbowkiss:

#5 · Chapter 1 · 114w, 5d ago · · ·

Ok, update's up for Part 1

#6 · Chapter 1 · 114w, 5d ago · · ·

Overall, it was pretty good, and well-developed.

Some sentence structure is weird, though. To use an example, when the paratroopers were coming down, there was a certain sentence that established itself as if the observing crowd was flying down. Not a biggie, but it might be worth considering.

There were a few errors with tense, but they weren't major. Some other minor grammatical errors were present, but nothing that detracted from the story.

Several times there were missing words, but I could piece most of it together, so it's not too major.

This next one is just a personal preference of mine, but I tend to favor variation in the 'said' or 'asked' deals, to give a bit more detail. It's only my opinion, though, so I wouldn't really change anything to match it.

Finally, when they got the supplies, you repeated the sleeping bags with two crates.

#7 · Chapter 1 · 114w, 5d ago · · ·

>>605016

I quickly changed the sleeping bag part.

I may review it later for the other grammatical errors, so overall, thanks.

#8 · Chapter 1 · 114w, 5d ago · · ·
#9 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 6h ago · · ·

No, Rarity.....:fluttercry:

#10 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 2h ago · · ·

What's this, sleeping on the job? ARE YOU GONNA LET A FEW NAMBY-PAMBY BULLET HOLES STOP YOU?!

Once again, not bad. A few errors with putting 'hands' instead of 'hooves', and some grammar stumbles, but nothing really major.

#11 · Chapter 2 · 111w, 13h ago · · ·

You get props for taking one of my favorite '80s action flicks, adding 20% more ponies, and having it still be good. Liked.

#12 · Chapter 3 · 110w, 4d ago · · ·

Spoiler Alert:

Just don't kill all of them, except two.

#13 · Chapter 3 · 110w, 4d ago · · ·

Favorite part by far. :raritycry:

#14 · Chapter 3 · 110w, 3d ago · · ·

Alright, cover imagie is up, courtesy of Block Eraser/Gigatoast (thanks again if you're reading this)

#15 · Chapter 3 · 110w, 3d ago · · ·

Even if Spike was forced to betray Twillight and the others, i hope he pay for that what happend to Twillight!:twilightangry2:

#16 · Chapter 3 · 102w, 3d ago · · ·

Sorry for taking so long

Out of town and shizz like that. Plus I've been busting my butt on "Red Light City" (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/39433/Red-Light-City) with Joe Amethyst (who is another great writer; check out his "Numb"). I promise to get this out by Tuesday the latest.

Anyway, questions are accepted.

#17 · Chapter 4 · 102w, 16h ago · · ·

After a long time, Lunar Dawn IV is out

read and comment!

Part V is promised, though it won't nearly be as long. It's an epilogue chapter

#18 · Chapter 4 · 101w, 6d ago · · ·

Wow... just... wow... this matched the movie almost perfectly. :ajsleepy::applecry::rainbowdetermined2::raritycry::flutterrage::twilightsmile::derpytongue2::eeyup: it's ok. You can stop fighting now. We shall meet in the place where rivers of sweet water flow. Your war is over.

:pinkiehappy:, thank you for taking :scootangel: and :unsuresweetie: to safety. Celestia willing, you'll never have to see such horrors again in your lifetimes.

:trixieshiftright: good riddance.

:moustache: YOU MONSTER! HOW COULD YOU SELL THEM OUT LIKE THAT!

:trollestia: AND WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU WHILE YOUR PRECIOUS ELEMENTS OF HARMONY DIED FIGHTING FOR YOU?!

#19 · Chapter 4 · 101w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1093035

Deep Comment

Glad you like it!

Stay tuned: Epilogue is on the way

*p.s. Read Sunset. It clears up on the Elements of Harmony a bit better

#20 · Chapter 4 · 101w, 5d ago · · ·

did read sunset, was good..

still don't see why :trollestia: wouldn't drop the sun close over Hoofingham, just scorch the lunar bases and capital.

Then the Solar forces could easily break the unsupported Lunar offensive.

#21 · Chapter 4 · 101w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1094484

Surprise Attack! :derpytongue2:

Plus, Part 1 of Lunar Dawn describes how Luna and Celestia don't use the sun and moon as weapons. :twilightblush:

#22 · Chapter 4 · 101w, 5d ago · · ·

Hey a quick comment on formatting: if you're not going to put spaces between paragraph breaks, then you really should indent the first line of each new paragraph, as this improves readability. This is a good story but it's kind of a nightmare to read, especially in scenes where there's lots of dialogue.

Just a heads up. This is a good story and I'd hate for you to be deprived of the hits you deserve, because---and trust me on this one---a lot of readers will pass this up because of the unsound formatting. People don't have a lot of patience for that sort of thing, and as an author having poor technical skills makes it look like you don't know what you're doing from the word go.

Other than that, though, keep up the good work!

#23 · Chapter 5 · 101w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1097546

Thanks, I'll try to do that to all of the chapters tonight :twilightsmile:

#24 · Chapter 5 · 101w, 4d ago · · ·

so...much...yes...A well-forged conclusion to a very good adaptation story.

#25 · Chapter 1 · 101w, 3d ago · · ·

n length, the rifle was about 710 centimeters.

Im... ugh dont even know what to say, thats 23.29 feet or 279.527559 inches dude, 100 cm is 1 meter...

I can't even imagine what a huge ass assault rifle that is... Unless ponies are giant compared to us humans.

Also see you use the past tense of drag as drug,its dragged.

A colt is a young male horse(stallion), the kids like pipsquek, snips and snails in the show.

#26 · Chapter 5 · 101w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1108948

can't please everyone

got to fix that though :twilightblush:

#27 · Chapter 3 · 100w, 2d ago · · ·

Scootaloo had gone to do some low altitude (so as not to be seen) flight exercises with Scootaloo.

One of them is Rainbow dash i bet.

#28 · Chapter 3 · 100w, 1d ago · · ·
#29 · Chapter 5 · 77w, 3d ago · · ·

I've never red Red Dawn, but this story is great. Didn't expect that many characters to die though. Still good.

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