College is an interesting part of life. This becomes doubly true for one Sunset Shimmer when old enemies reappear in her life, asking for friendship no less!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That last bit drew out a few actual tears, with the concepts and imagery there. I'll raise a glass to seeing more.
6056523 I'm glad you enjoyed that bit, because I was honestly so worried that the whole thing was too wordy, or just out and out confusing. To know that I can actually convey it all effectively is incredibly satisfying.
I want chapter 12 NOW! That last bit tho so good lol. I'll do what Skycatcher did and raise a glass to seeing more ( my glass is bigger)
"Finally in stomped Sonata, her skin" i do believe you meant "Finally in stomped Aria, her skin"
sorry to have to point it out but it made me do a double take and broke the immersion so i needed to point it out
Nice! I love the costumes!
6058052 Not at all! Please never be afraid to comment or message me with grammar issues, and thanks for pointing it out
6058225 I really enjoyed toying with these, the design itself is largely based on Darksiders.
Okay, is his name Nuts or Nut? 'cause I've seen both
"she’s gonna kill you guy" guys
"As Aria and Adagio beat beat on one and other" extra beat
"startling all three of her lover" lovers
"driven across town speeds" at speeds? (I only know how I talk "^__^)
"especially is my vehicle is implicated" if
"roughish thief" roguish?
"the largest of the trio" quartet
"you might feel the pull to" too
"it was the eye’s Sunset had most fallen for" eyes
"all that the Siren’s experienced" 'Sirens' or 'Siren had' (leaning toward the latter since it's Adagio-specific)
"lead quietly feeding of the magic" led? feeding off?
"the events of the world that is shaped." that it shaped (I think)
"descended and fel to a knee" fell
“Several genres... well above standard acts of evil, even by equestrian standard." I can't quite put my finger on it, but something in this paragraph doesn't read smoothly.
"Aww how adorable, and refreshing to know I’m not the only one that can use terrible puns" ahahaha, I seriously love the dialogue in this story. You've created characters and stayed true by them.
"However that is a story for another day." Please make this a side story.
"oh Rarity I take back 75% of those death threats from earlier"
Dagi is the biggest creeper in like ever. 'you know I watch you sleep.'
"I fear there are some secrets which I must keep even from you" I am intrigued... curious as to whether this is brilliant foreshadowing or just sexy banter.
"Adagio waved a hand, and all at once the thick grove of trees that had blocked their path moved aside" - does she actually MOVE the trees, or just feel like it?? *enraptured*
followed by the most beautifully romantic thing ever. take another
You are close to the designs of Darksiders, what made you change them out of curiosity?