You have my attention,
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Okay I am absolutely loving this but there's one serious blaring problem: punctuation . The beginning was fine but as soon as Adagio and Sunset sat down to talk there were missing periods, names that weren't capitalized, misplaced commas, and even a few missing words in some places. I'm not saying it's bad. It's definitely good. But please please please look over your work before you publish! It's a lesson I had to learn the hard way!

5896630 Thank you very much! I'll admit because my last 5 years of writing experience have been strictly in the Social Sciences I am positively awful at dialogue, and I desperately need edited with a fine tooth comb. I have made a number of corrections, and in the future will be taking a bit more care. If I remained ignorant to something horribly glaring, please let me know!

5897175 if you need an editor, I'd be happy to oblige. Your dialogue is fine, and i can understand where you're coming from. When I first started writing I was 15 with no experience. As for letting you know about anything else, I'll say something if i see anything.

This is pretty good so far. A few grammatical mistakes but I'm interested in the fact that this is the first "Sunset takes in the Dazzlings" fic I've read where the Dazzlings weren't living on the street and begrudgingly accepted Sunset's hospitality, but rather them having a friendly conversation and accepting Sunset's help with no problem.

Ahhh... very very nice. You've got the characterization down to T, and for me that's the most important thing. I don't think I'll have any trouble delving into this! Onward to the next chapter!

svpow.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/onward.jpg

Story seems like it'll be fun right from the start, love the characters!

“Trixie understands your words mortal, but she is simply must insist": 'mortal' should be capitalized, extra 'is' before 'simply'
"just as you Rainbooms are connected to Equestria so to are we" - TOO
"tertiary reason for her current headache": what are the other two reasons? perhaps 'secondary' (as in sub-primary) will work
couple missed/misplaced punctuation, couple capitalization errors, but good stuff
"Sunset to falter and shaking her head state" then the next paragraph... I'm conflicted by what this means (and if it's the end of the sentence).
"on the advise of Rarity" should be 'advice' (advise is verb, advice is noun)
"Listless"/"lost" - Adagio never said she feels lost, Sunset just thinks it. Maybe, some of those words should be switched around (Adagio SAYS she feels lost, Sunset THINKS she looks listless (lethargic))

I wonder how long Adagio waited there/how far from Sunset she was in line. Was she right behind her and took action when she saw Sunset react, or was she coincidentally on her way up?
Does Sunset have her martial arts class at the beginning AND the end of the day? She compares human and pony Luna, even though she never could've met p!Luna. (I think you should mention that Luna's trying to adapt to regular speech, since she drifts out of it, very much so in later chapters.)

6147147 You're doing the god's work my friend! Also the whole p!Luna thing will have an explanation, I'm happy someone noticed the discontinuity, though I was kinda hoping to spring it later. The whole royal tone thing, that was something I didn't take in, I'll be working it in later now!

Well, I saved this so I could come back to it, and here I am after all this time. I'm hoping you got yourself an editor because this is awfully hard to read for me. Otherwise, the development is . . . all right. It seems a little fast, but I enjoyed the idea of Luna being a martial arts instructor. Very cool.

Silly Discord, yellow does not do anything. Everyone knows that "Red is fasta!"

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I second this. At moments it was straight out painful to read, comma splices everywhere.

Which is a pity, since story itself is very promising. It's just the execution that suffers.

I highly recommend you visit The Proofreaders Group and find yourself someone to help you solve all those issues. This story deserves to be good.

Adagio turned towards her three closest friends and sighed

I think instead of three there should be two.

Hmm... cover art drew me in... mayhaps I shall read on.
Good start to this...

“Oh my look a distraction!” with feigned shock pointing toward the other end of the fitness center, and seizing the fraction of a second Luna looked away to run as fast as he could, Luna chasing after him the whole way holding a rather dangerous looking piece of exercise equipment, and enough malice to terrify the student workers on duty. “Some people simply cannot take a joke” he chuckled, glad he had remembered to wear his yellow running shoes with his orange and purple suit, they made him faster.

Hehe silly discord, yellow shoes and....wait, why do robes clothing colors....

orange and purple suit.

OHMYINGGODIT'SSHEOGORATH!!!

You would think that Discord would have learned by now not to mess with Luna especially when he knows fully well that she'd kick his ass

The second punch slammed off of Sunset Shimmer’s raised elbow, her body pivoting with immense quickness as she slammed a gloved fist directly into the unprotected side of her opponent. The wind was stolen from the considerably larger man, and as he retreated two steps gasping for breath Sunset assumed a stance, and steeled her eyes, all of her focus directly on her opponent. His white shirt was drenched in sweat, and one Bulk Biceps found himself gasping for air, and begging for mercy, three five minute rounds with a skinny framed red haired girl should be no problem, but Bulk knew better.

Sunset boxing... thats hot.

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Indeed it is.

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Sonata, Artia and Adagios hair, which gets it's own line in the credits.