Winner of Rage Reviews' F*** THIS PROMPT! #2 contest.
The prompt is ""Your self-insert takes over Equestria."
A lonely stallion makes a wish, and a powerful stranger grants it. Then Equestria is overrun by really friendly pony clones.
Chapters (3)
Flick Mare
Joined 11th Dec, 2014 ·
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A bit oddly paced, but good nonetheless. Reminds me of the story Let's Be Frank.
Could his selves share magic reserves? Just wondering, but imagine it. The raw magical energy of hundreds of thousands of ponies combined... he'd be the most powerful mage in Equestria, except perhaps Discord.
Has he worked on giving himself a photographic memory? Or becoming independent of the Mirror Pool?
He makes up about 2% of the country... wouldn't someone notice the sudden jump in population? Especially since it's purely male? Or does he have a gender bending spell to avoid that?
In a world where Age Regression is possible, couldn't someone of his level easily make himself a biological immortal( does not age, heals quickly, doesn't need outside sustainance)?
How long do you think he'll be uncomfortable with age spells? I mean, he's clearly capable of them, and the Mirror Pool's duplicates are the same age as the originals, so his entire "hive" will age to death eventually if he doesn't do anything.
*deadpan voice*He's gonna make his selves alicorns at some point isn't he? I mean, that way, he'd never need to add new parts to his selves to blend in(just hide a few parts magically- shouldn't be too hard) and he'd be immortal(ageless, at least). Perhaps he'd even become independent of the Mirror Pool.
6313833
I'll try and roughly answer your questions in general terms. Diced Apple (the only name I really have for him, and I like the implication that he has been 'diced' up into multiple parts) implies in his conversation with Princess Cadance that he is now so powerful that he would be unstoppable. So yes, you could assume through age spells or Alicorn ascension he could make himself immortal, and thus eventually leave the Mirror Pool. Since this means he could literally be friends with every pony in Equestria forever, I assume he would do so. His main goal is making friends, so he would be fine with gender changing spells to avoid upsetting the demographics of the country. I didn't think of writing that in, but it makes sense to me now you bring it up.
6313915 I see. Though Trixie once claimed that such a spell was impossible...
meh, prompts.
The idea is beautiful!
Neat.
A fascinating tale of distributed consciousness in the name of a noble goal. Thank you for it.
Oooooooh, I like this story.
Why isn't this rated higher?
You successfully kept up the suspense up until the end - one of his selves drowning to death just becoming a trivial activity listed side-by-side with attending a birthday party, making us question how much "a single pony" may matter to him now. How much "a few dozen", "a few hundred" lives may matter, should they stand in the way of maximum friendship.
This could so easily have been a "cautionary tale"... instead, it is a heartwarming one.
It's basically a more "humanized" version of an AI-takeover, in the sense that our protagonist is essentially a self-improving intelligence bent on maximizing his friendship... But interestingly enough retaining the "equine" element of his psyche, to a degree. Meaning, his "values" are still, at their core, equine. If an actual AI intended to maximize friendship...
...I have a sneaking suspicion, but ---- say, are you familiar with "Friendship is Optimal" and its spin-off stories?
Now that he's achieved friendship with everypony, I wonder what's next on the agenda...
For starters, how is "everypony" defined?
Does this include donkeys, griffons, diamond dogs, changelings...? What of the inmates in Tartarus?
Don't forget - our protagonist is also friends both with Prince Blueblood and Sven Gallop, after all!
Twilight also has that "mirror to another world"... full of "hu-manes" that aren't friends with him yet!!
Not to mention, there may be alien life out there he'd want to befriend! His selves would surely push Equestria into the golden age of space-exploration!
There's a whole universe... neigh, multiverse out there that he needs to be friends with!
Not only that, but what about the ponies of the past?
The time travel spells would be trivial for him, and should multiverse theory of time travel hold true - that would mean branching out into alternate timelines. I wonder if his conscious could stretch across timelines? It'd have to, to truly fulfill his wish.
Although then we're getting into the question of what defines a pony as separate from another instance of that same pony.
Rainbow Dash from the "Sombra War" timeline is not Rainbow Dash from the "Crysalis won"-timeline. So... would he strive to befriend them both? Would he strive to befriend all possible Rainbow Dashes, necessitating creating their respective timelines first? It stands to reason there would be an infinite number of Rainbow Dashes - however, the set of "all possible Rainbow Dashes" also contains sets of (near-)identical Rainbow Dashes separated only by some minuscule divergence in the timeline that does not affect their life in any meaningful way. Would it still make sense to befriend a multitude of identical instances of the same pony?
Should timetravel multiverse-theory prove wrong... Well, sending one of his selves back would overwrite his accomplishments in the present, rendering such timetravel useless.
However, given enough time, brainpower and resources - he could become friends with everypony across history:
He'd need to work towards constructing a way to displace Equestria into a portable pocket-dimension.
Then take that pocket-dimension containing present-day Equestria with him into the past. Send duplicates to spread across the land to make friends, rinse/repeat until a time before life existed on the planet.
Also, I'm guessing should he find himself at two sides of a conflict, he'd carefully arrange for minimizing damage, while still staying a "friend" to both sides. Though which side "wins" is a different matter - no playing favors, after all...
Oh, also ... our protagonist inevitably will become a father. Many, many, many, many times over. He'll literally father an entire generation, and be the grandpa of many, many more.
Though I'm guessing one of his bodies dying might become more of a problem if that body was the father of a child...
Maybe he'd reveal his secret to a few select ponies after all?
"My daddy is a hivemind." Sounds like a romantic comedy.
7319329
Hey there, thanks for such a thoughtful comment!
I hadn't read Friendship is Optimal at the time this was written, I'd only been lurking around the site a few months when the contest popped up. Having read it now, I can see the conceptual similarities.
I've read a few stories that portray Blueblood in more interesting ways than his brief appearance in the show. It's hard to feel too hostile to him after reading The Best Night Ever, or the IDW Friends Forever comic #26 where he's quite funny and actually does have an important role to play. Maybe Diced Apple has enough collective wisdom to find the good side to every pony?
If you're going with the multiverse theory, remember that means there would be infinite versions of himself as well. At that stage I think it would be getting into Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy levels of absurd humour, something like "A little known fact is that half the population of the multiverse is actually the same friendly little pony."
I'm not sure who he would reveal himself to and when. Say he was both fathers of two children that grew up and got married! I think he'd have been clever enough to make sure there's enough genetic variation going on to avoid inbreeding, but it might disturb some ponies to think that several of their family members happen to be part of the same hive mind.
Anyway, thanks for all your ideas! I didn't have much time to build this story to answer everything, but I'm glad it fired your imagination.
7319690
Hence my question if he'd make friends with Tirek too.
Story-time!
7331932
Nicely done, that looks exactly how he'd respond! You seem to have a good grasp of his character at both the individual and collective level, if you don't mind me saying. Thanks for writing such a heartfelt little moment!
7332321
Thank you!
Well, his "hivemind" thought-process is familiar enough once you've read most of the 70+ Optimalverse stories out there. XD
That he, at his core, still remains equine, on the other hoof --- that's a refreshing difference from "CelestAI's" approach.
I actually would suggest submitting this to the non-canon section of the Optimalverse group. It might find some much-deserved attention there.
(I've seen one or two "Non-Optimalverse" sci-fi stories submitted there as well, so... it isn't technically against the rules.)
Oh, I also wrote another short:
By the way --- and I hope I'm not coming off as presumptuous here
--- but if you think the "micro-stories" I wrote in the comments match the tone and quality of the original story, and should you think it is appropriate to do so, I give you 100% permission to post them as bonus-chapters (and edit them as you see fit, if necessary). 
It's not like I could really post them anywhere, they aren't exactly stand-alone.
I figure something like "BONUS - My daddy is a hive-mind" and "BONUS - Never enough." could be descriptive chapter titles, that automatically indicate it to be a bonus-chapter as to not confuse readers.
If you don't think it makes sense to add bonus-chapters to the already completed story, or if you have any other objections to the idea, then that's completely fine too.
I just thought I'd ask.
And again, I'd highly recommend adding this to the Non-canon folder of the "Optimalverse"-group, as I believe it would find further audience there. (I can add it if you want.)
7495100
I think it's fine to add them! It's probably hard enough to stumble on this story in the first place, let alone see your contributions in the comments. I'll put it in that non-canon Optimalverse folder too, since it seems to have similar themes.
Awwwwww... that's the creepiest way to spill the beans to your daughter.
Wish spells
.
7497125 Well, he did say everypony.
That means the multiverse, and all of time.
The only thing I skipped was space. Though I also didn't specify the holding capacity of his pocket-universes...
7497106 Indeed!
"Awww, that's so cute / awkward / confusing."
Cuak-ward. Cute-fusing. Cuak-fuse-ward-ing.
Hmm. At least she got comforted.
That's some real insane dedication.
I'm glad this didn't turn into the matrix, with the first being an amazing chapter and the next two leaving you wishing they had never existed.
Wow I really loved this story. A very original take on an odd concept.
If Friendship is magic then this guy has enough power to literally be the god of friendship. He seems to be on his way to being a friendship singularity.
7496495
The Optimalverse group is where I found this story so I would say that was a good move.
Hmm. Coming back to this, I wonder...
...Hmmm. Heh, if an outsider found out about his secret, but without knowing the full truth, they'd probably think it was a conspiracy or invasion of the body-snatchers or something.
8803615
...Imagine the marriage counseling session.
Evidently, the population of Equestria had a population beneath its carrying capacity. One would believe that the ponies would notice the increased population. One problem this story has is that Diced Apple is male:
Equestria cannot have too many females, but it can have too many males.
Problem: 0-Sum-Game:
Everytime Diced Apples marries a mare, he condemns another stallion to loneliness.
I can imagine "Incels against Diced Apples". . After learning that Diced Apples is the reason that they are 40-year-old virgins, they reject his friendship.