• Member Since 15th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 1st, 2020

Poet Knight


May you all 'Live Long and Prosper', your star-turtle never lose it's course, and your itty-bitty living space not cramp your Infinite Cosmic Power!!

E

Twilight Sparkle witnesses Sunset's ascension. Celestia does not approve.
Loosely based on the music video "My Past is not Today"
All rights for the song to Hasbro
Remember, if you dislike it then give me a reason why please

Image is by svecinkat on derpibooru.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 25 )

F*** YOU, CELESTIA!...
Ugh, this is why I never voted you as best pony...

I demand a sequel... Forgive me for my early outburst...

Sensing a shit in the world around her, Twilight snapped her eyes open.

I don't think that means what you intended it to mean...

From what I hear the wings were a visual metaphor, not an actual transformation.

Good fic nontherless.

I don't think I'll be giving this a read, but I thought I'd make note of something.
In the image this story is probably based off of, Sunset Shimmer's hair is flaring up, while there is another bit of flame coming down behind her. This might be mistakable for the normal empowerment mode shown in both movies(I myself had to do a double take, I'll admit), but note that there are no pony hybrid ears, nor is the item that could represent the tail attached to the head hair like normal. As such, I don't believe this was intended to be a representation of alicorn ascension. Rather, I think it is a representation of a Phoenix. More particularly the new beginning and confidence associated with the bird's rebirth cycle.

That nerd-gasm nitpick aside, I hope the story does well in spite of the (easily made, and possibly fan favorite) misinterpretation. Though her eventually becoming an alicorn after a journey of her own in-spite of her fall would be kinda cool, IF HANDLED CORRECTLY.

5839156 Will fix Is Fixed

5839372
5839678
Just went with my own head canon here.

5839088
I second that notion.

5840539
Dang it! I was hoping for a sunlight story and I thought twighlight would ignore Peincess Celiestia and go be with SunsetShimmer after the kiss oh well good story though

5840539 :twilightsmile: Nothing wrong with that. /):heart:

I see what you did there with the end...

5841218 Then write your continuation of this... I'd like to see what you would come up with (just remember to cite)


5842571 Did you? :trixieshiftright: Just the end? :trollestia:

5839372

From what I hear the wings were a visual metaphor, not an actual transformation.

No, it's explicitly a rainbow power form according to the toy, the only human rainbow power form toy in fact.
They didn't show us twice and then tell us once during Rainbow Rocks reinforcing the rules that The rainbow can't be accessed without the Elements then have Sunset break that rule without a reason.

5839088

F*** YOU, CELESTIA!...

This is extremely out of character for celestia.

5847074 Actually, it was confirmed in Twitter that it was a visual metaphor.
https://mobile.twitter.com/ishih3art

5847074 Have you read the IDW comics? I drew a little inspiration from there. And I did use the AU tag (not criticizing, just pointing it out)

5847126 I just liked how they had the magic effect and how it seemed to resemble Twi's from the MMC episode. As well as their portrayal of similar with Rarity in 'Life is a Runway'. The closest we've seen of magic-casting in EqG-verse (human-side) so far was the Rainbow Wave produced by Sunset and Twilight in 'Rainbow Rocks'.

5847171

I just liked how they had the magic effect and how it seemed to resemble Twi's from the MMC episode. As well as their portrayal of similar with Rarity in 'Life is a Runway'. The closest we've seen of magic-casting in EqG-verse (human-side) so far was the Rainbow Wave produced by Sunset and Twilight in 'Rainbow Rocks'.

Rarity makes pretty casual use of dress space in rainbow rocks.
Also pinkie pie.

5847126

Then that's a bad use of metaphor on their part, they use the magic sparkles and such before the transformation with magic now becoming a part of earth permanently and sunset getting her full magic back, and this is a setting where achieving a transformation based on personal enlightenment is possible and a setting conceit.
Furthermore it's released alongside a rainbow power human Sunset Shimmer toy with a similar if much gaudier design, and she during the movie breaks the rules they heavily reinforced during it up until that rule breaking.

If I wanted to do metaphor i would have stuck with the sun rising and not done the magic sparkles.

Your story has quite some potential, it's a really nice take on the songs.
But I have to say, it feels kind of rushed. The whole story seems like it's skipping parts of the story.

Personally, it's my head-canon that, because magic is rare in the humane world, 'Friendship' and 'Magic' are decoupled and are separate Elements. The human Twilight will ultimately be the Bearer of the Lavender Light of Friendship but, as the only permanent resident of the world who has inherit magical abilities from the outset, Sunset will be the Bearer of the Scarlet Light of Magic.

You have the framework of a story, a skeleton without any meat on the bone. It's not a satisfying read and is worth a downvote all on its own.

It's very easy to read Twilight/Sunset shipping into the middle. Better than Flash, still terrible.

The ending...doesn't make sense. Celestia's claim doesn't make sense read straight and it doesn't make sense with an unreliable narrator. Twilight's reaction is equally bizarre. Don't get me wrong, if Equestria Girls dropped into the fiery pit of acid where it belongs I would be fine with that, but you can't do that in-universe without breaking Twilight one way or another.

It's a conclusion, but not really the most satisfying conclusion. I can't see either Twilight or Sunset accepting Celestia's reason and not even attempting to contact each other through their book again, let alone Twilight going through the portal (or Sunset, for that matter, since she is native to Equestria). All Celestia says is not to use the portal, so taking away the book as well seems an unjust cruelty if she can't give an excellent reason for doing that (besides 'it might tempt you', which would still show she has too little faith in Twilight/Sunset). I can see Twilight deferring to Celestia, but Sunset not so much.

Also, you really need to proofread. This is the first three sentences, with two spelling mistakes. It's a lot like this throughout.

In Equestria, near senset....

Twilight Sparkle was very happy with herself as she reached her castle's library. She had some time of from her current adventures with her castle's 'Map of Friendship's Need'.

Should be 'sunset' and 'off'.

I'm really on the fence about this story, the idea itself it's rather interesting but I'm afraid that the excecution of it is the problem, the "romance" (if you want to call it that) is far too rushed. We literally don't know a thing about they relationship and we are expected to jump on a kiss.

Also Celestia actitude seems out of character for what we know of her and as others have pointed out neither Twilight or Sunset will accept this without some good explanation; as I said the idea for a great story is here but you need to slow down and explain

This needs more to make it a good or great story. It does seem as others have said to rushed. You need to slow it down a bit

"Hop through the Portal! Jump In!" was that a reference to "Friendship is Witchcraft"?

PLEASE MORE SHIMMERCORN PLEEEAASE I BEG OF YOU

Worrying that she may be losing her friend, Twilight saw Sunset turn and walk away from the roof's edge. Glad that Sunset didn't seem about to jump to her demise, yet unsure how to help, Twilight found her self just listening to the song her friend was singing. Sunset's voice reached her easily, even though Sunset was moving around on the roof. Listening to the words, Twilight realized that Sunset was singing a song about how much she had changed. Finding herself overjoyed at the message of how much their friendship meant to Sunset, Twilight began remembering all the stories the human versions of her Equestrian friends had told her. Stories of the hardships Sunset had faced at the school after her redemption at the Fall Formal. The new clothes don't look to bad on her either.... Twilight mused.

IMO, the new look and hair color change were the best part as Sunset looks better than how she used to be prior to the BOTB.

"It's so good to see you! But what happened? What was with the singing? Are your wings really made of fire? How were you able to use magic? How am I able to use magic here? Are you a phoenix? No, your tail is like a pony. Are you an Alicorn? Wouldn't it be awsome if you were an Alicorn? I'm so happy for you!!" Nor, alas, was Sunset ready for the kiss.

That last part, I did not see coming. :pinkiegasp:

"It's as I feared. It appears Sunset Shimmer is now the Princess of Friendship in the human world. And as such, we can no longer allow you or anypony else to use the portal."

wait what!

This story was great but the ending was dark.

Login or register to comment