Six years have gone by after the Cutie Mark Crusaders went missing in the Everfree, and the town of Ponyville has changed. The Elements are all but spent trying to deal with the grief of losing the aggravating yet beloved CMC and the Princesses are tied up in a massive diplomatic battle between the Griffon Empire and the New Changeling Order.
When Applejack is going to visit Fluttershy, she runs across an unfamiliar group of young mares, three to be exact... and they're claiming to be the CMC, and they've got quite the story to tell...
Fallout/MLP:FIM crossover
Fallout belongs to Bethesda
MLP:FIM belongs to Hasbro and Lauren Faust
Story elements belong ta me.
Chapters (14)
Looks like an good start to what sounds like an interesting story. A few grammar and spelling mistakes, but those could be easily corrected with the aid of a proofreader and/or editor. Pretty good story flow though, and that's vital to a successful story. I look forward to seeing where this tale goes.
5871957
Ahhhh thank you so much Skyace, really! I'll see bout getting one of mine to take a look at the next chaoter sometime.
Thanks for telling! Good story flow, never had that said before ;e; I'm so happy.
Thanks again!
And I'm glad you like it ^^
Is this some kind of trend?
Pony goes to Falloutverse, pony experiences wasteland, pony comes back.
5872644
Yes, and quite the sexy trend if I do say so myself 8D
And featuring the CMC, who doesn't love that?
This, this right here reminds me of Into The Black. Very good, a wonderful start to a good story. I'll be watching this and reading enthusiastically.
And like has already been said, minor spelling and grammatical errors are there, but nothing that's too distracting.
5872868
Into the black? I might check that out. And thanks for saying so! I'm glad it is a wonderful start.
Awesome! I hope you enjoy the rest fo the story once its posted.
And thanks for faving!
I'll fix it up soon.
Thanks again!
I will honestly admit that this was better than I thought it was going to be (and this is just the opening chapter). You have indeed presented a good idea and I do hope that you do update this in the future. So what if there are only a tiny few spelling errors, you have the capability of writing! I look forward to hearing the tale that the CMC have gone through. You did a good job in pacing and I liked the descriptions (even with pics) of their stuff.
In my opinion you deserve more likes instead of dislikes, so I shall give you one!
Peace out Dustchu
-Frost
5874693
Ahhhh this comment made me so happy I died a little \);w;)/
//crying still in happiness
Omg. Yeah I'm really sorry about the spelling errors ;; I'll try and fix em up. (Imalazybastardsosueme)
I'm so happy you think this is a good idea, no one uses the CMC much for stuff like this ;;
AGH!
I don't know why its getting so many dislikes ;w;
Haters gunna hate I guess, I wish they'd tell me what's wrong so I can fix it.
OH WELL THEN... pfft... gotta write.
Anywho, thank you so much for the comment, and the favorite (I know I said thank
you already but here's anotha!) and for the vote!
Peace out Frost!
And thanks again! Much love to you.
Dustchu~
So another Fallout/MLP crossover? I didn't read the others, but this first chapter has awakened my interest. I will wait for the next chapter eagerly, before I will give you a full opinion, but this first chapter was good in my opinion.
5873199
Believe me, you will like into the black. Imo easily one of the best works I read here so far.
5875648
5875637
Yep, yet another crossover!
So glad you like! :D I'll update soon when I can, Coldstone.
I bet I will! :D
hehehe, I'll check out that story when I can.
I feel good about this one
5881510
So glad you think so! :D
And thanks for faving!
Interesting concept and decent characterization of the CMC so far, with a good start in the Wasteland. The OCs were also interesting. However, there are a few problems that stick out. First, the entire first chapter was awkwardly paced and set up, introducing concepts that got dropped and the like. The start was too cluttered while in the Wasteland, they seem to teleport from place to place. The voidling was sort of just there, along with the other ponies who disappeared in chapter one. Also, even though the story is supposed to be the CMC telling everyone else what happened, it spends a lot of time on a character they haven't seen or heard yet, making the set up feel rather odd. Also, the main advantage of having the characters tell the story is for the others to commentate. So far, the story would be much better if you just dropped the first chapter, or rework it and the second chapter to fit together without all the irrelevant info from the first. Lastly, this is more of a nitpick, but that random Lyra fanservice bit was pointless and really clashed with everything else (hey these bones remind me about a lesbian who obsessed over them because pointless reference). Over all, this story feels like two good separate stories fighting with each other instead of one flowing story.
5889048
Ehhh, I think the first chapter will be staying. Getting rid of it doesn't sound like a good idea to me, rewriting it sounds painful.
As for the second chapter, I'll admit, it could be... maybe rewritten and whatnot but it probably won't happen anytime soon.
But thanks for reviewing, I hope when the third chapter comes out it'll be better.
~Dustchu
I rather like where this is going keep up the good fic work! ;)
5889920
Thank you, I'll be sure to keep going! :D
And thanks for faving.
5889952
But of course its well eurned.
5889965
Welll... I think I see where Sweetie gets at least some of the knives she was using earlier. I love Lee and Forrest, they're a good duo and I can totally see the Crusaders having lots of fun with them in a safe place. Lee is already under the spell of the cuteness! I can also see that butcher guy getting applebucked between the legs by Apple Bloom.
Was the bit about the aliens referencing Dark Wanderings by ed2481????? That's the first Twilight with Lone Wanderer that popped into my mind.
5892281
Oh really? :D Yay! I'm glad you like those two, they were fun to write out. hehe, and yep, they just might have lots of fun, who wouldn't? And who wouldn't be under the spell? Hehehe, even Forrest might fal under it! X3 Hehehehe eue that would be painful, getting bucked... OUCH.
YES YES YES! You win dude, that, so much yes! You're the first.
Boom! References for the win baby!
5893414 Wait... just how many ponies are wandering around the Wasteland then??? Or are the Crusaders in the Mojave??? I've never played the games myself, so I don't know all the locations. But if they were to meet up with an alternate Twilight and she taught them some tricks....
5893426
Ehhh, who knows? That's a mystery in of itself.
And as for where they are, it says where they are in the chapter. The CMC are in a town called Axton, in Texas.
5893426
Ehhh, who knows? That's a mystery in of itself.
And as for where they are, it says where they are in the chapter.
The CMC are in a town called Axton, in Texas. I'm taking this to a whole nother level.
I've already told you, I love this story! But I have one question, where does this take place? In the Mojave? Or in the capital Wasteland of Fallout 3? I know you said it doesn't take place EXACTLY in the Fallout universe. But I haven't seen much mention of where this takes place.
If in the Mojave, is there any possible of seeing the courier? Or even Benny? What about the Strip? Any landmarks?
If in the Capital Wasteland, Galaxy News Radio? Three Dog? Or does it take place in a combination of the two? Or in a whole new universe together?
5895733
I wrote in the second chapter, Apple Bloom stumbles over a sign which reads Axton, Texas. The CMC are in Texas, nowhere near New Vegas or the Capital Wasteland. So odds of them seeing the fabled Courier or Lone Wanderer are slim to none.
An awesome chapter, can't wait to see more!!
5897141
Me either buddy! :D
hehehe eue
Are the cmc anthro ish? Any way..........this is a really good story!!
5897177
Nope, they're 100% adorable, huggable and squishy ponies
I nearly don't dare to ask but will there be a Three dog intake too? Somehow I really liked that guy. ;)
5901251
Hmm, maybe.
Not sure, but stick around! :D
Three-Dog is an awesome DJ, legit.
5901368
Oh I will. This 2nd chapter did the trick. I will definitely follow this story. An educated guess: This bad guys Knife collection might soon come into Sweetiebelles possession as this guys Rifle will go to Scoots. That implies one of two situations: Number 1: They will witness how General Lee (why do I have now the Car of the same name in my mind) will kill bad guy, to save them.
Number 2: They will have to kill Bad guy to save their own lifes.
Maybe it will be door 3: General Lee helps the fillies, bad guy attacks and they are forced to kill bad guy to save Lees live.....
Of course it could also be neither of those options. It is your story after all ;)
5901937
Those are some good guesses, very good.
But who knows what'll happen next chapter~ We'll have to wait and see my friend ^^
5900935
That's good to know, 'cause I cannot imagine anthro cmc. Whenever I try, I just imagine a human with sweetie belles head pasted on top. :/
5903467
lol, I can't imangine myself, but I don't think i'd like it.
I'm not a big fan of Anthro ponies that much :P
hehehe eue
5904659
Oh, as for General Lee:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAKksqKR3pI
Sorry, couldn't resist.
As for my guesses: I think it will be the first. But the three fillies WILL have to learn how to survive in the wastes and also that they might have to take a life to survive. Whzen I first played Fallout 3, I really thought sometimes how I would react in such a post apocalyptic world.
5904770
Omg, you're the best! XD hahaha!
APPROVED!
Yep, that's the sad truth of the wasteland... kill or be killed, its no place for the innocent or the weak.
Learning how to survive will be no easy feat for them, that's for sure.
Yeah I do that sometimes too, I don't think I would last long xD
Given my crap health and whatnot. But who knows.
5904791
... Lauren Faust? (Ok i feel stupid, I've talked to her and i think i got her first name spelled wrong...)
6001873
Yep, her
heheh eue, wow you talked to her?
Nice man!
Naw that's how you spell it :D
6003203 hell, you could talk to her online and not know it, i mean really, how many people use their real name? For all any of us fucking know I'm her! (I'm clearly not, b-... Wait... You don't know how she acts or talks...) annnnny way, just gonna say, she is very surprising for a person who writes for a kids cartoon.
PS nobody ask for a user name, i promised not to tell...
6003203 ya know whats stupid? I haven't even read this story and I'm in it's comment section talking to the writer.
6003294
You could be her XD hahaha, that would be a nice surprise, to have her read one of my stories and give some feedback...
that would make my day, it really would. I wonder what she would think of my stories? I'm honestly curious.
*hums*
Good on you!
Don't tell anyone, unless you trust them well enough.
6003301
Wow XD I laughed pretty hard from that X'D A little too hard.
This is a pretty good story, don't let the downvotes fool you. I'm working on it on and off, and I'm hoping
it'll be a good story everyone will come to like, hopefully, along with Ace Combat and several others I have planned.
WHY IS THERE NO LUNA ICON?! //sobs
Anyway, you should check this story out, but its up to you.
I won't force you to read it ^.^
6003763 actually I'm tracking it, waiting for more chapters before i decide to fav or not.
6006103
Ahh, arlight then.
I'll be working on the third chapter in a bit. i'm working on Vengeance right now, and another story that has yet to be posted.
Stick around friend! :D Awesomeness will be happening soon... very soon.
6006821 Vengeance? I'll look into that.
6006958
Sweet~
Hope you enojoy what I got up for now.
I like the story so far cant wait for the next chapter.