"Consider this friendship over.", Octavia spoke in calm but disappointed and broken tone, before she cut the call off.
This time was one time too much. Not only Vinyl Scratch forgot another appointment - but it was Octavias very first performance on stage, with a large audience.
Now both of them have to cope with their breakup.
Will it be the romantic prince who dries the tears, or the power of party, WUBs, booze and loads of new friends? And will they ever be able to look in their eyes again?
- This story is inspired by the events of the fan-animation "I am Octavia". I don't own the clip (credits go to TehJadeh) or anything other (besides this story), so copyright goes to the respective owners. And the "(Not) Doing Hurtful Things to your Waifu - meme.
- OC don't refer to one single character, but to any made up characters in this story.
Special thanks goes to:
- Dan_The_Jerk who inspired me to this story with his blogpost / stories about (not)doing hurtful things to your waifu
- DWK for providing one very crucial line of text in his comment in Dans thread.
and
- Kirito-Black Swordsman for providing the Bow/Cello pet-name
- Last but not least I want to thank all the members of the Writers Group, for answering my questions.
5869112
This is meant to indicate Vinyls drunken state - but maybe its too much.
5869407 Maybe but you should probably put a dash between them
5869414 Nice idea, thanks.
5869417 No problem
Dear downvoters,
may I politly ask, what's the matter? I mean, just giving red and don't say anything about why, doesn't help me as writer to get better and on the long run it won't help you, as you will stick with writers, not knowing what you expect.
So if there any serious issues - don't hesitate to point them out.
well i liked the story but there are a few issues with the story. The story is a bit fast paced, so try stretch out the story and making it a bit more detailed. i'm pretty sure there were some typos here and there but that's usually fine. Don't worry about the dislikes, some people just dislike octa-scratch ships or maybe the octa-scratch ship fans don't like how you broke them up and shipped octavia with a guy in two chapters.
However as it is I like the story and i do appreciate the fact that you update the story regularly, so far so good.
5893482
Hmm. Funny - fast pacing is one of my regular critiques on other stories. Didn't really think of falling in the same pit.
As I am near the end (will update sometime this evening CET), it would take to rework the whole story to slow the pace.
So maybe if I am feeling like reworking it sometime. But I'll get your advice for further stories. Thanks for your comment.
5893599 The main issue are the english language errors, which is probably caused by the fact that you are german (no offense). I can understand the story but i constantly have to stop myself and correct as i read. In the future i suggest a editor, someone who can correct these mistakes before they get posted online.
5897174
Yes. You are not the first one, saying exact this.
And you are right - language barrier. I try to learn. I read as much as I can to see different approaches to write something. But there is just a difference between a native speaker and someone who learned.
And I am in search for an editor. But so far I didn't find one. Maybe I should join some proof-reader-group instead of blogposting for help.
no, vinyl shouldn't be the one apologizing at this point.
6220842
You are right. Partly at least. I think Vinyl would apologize - for herself to close this chapter. But Octavia should apologize, too.
After all, she should realize how she had treated Vinyl after the breakup.
Now - you live and learn, I think.
I'll think about, how to write this.
I enjoyed this a lot, but I have to agree that some parts of the story seem a rushed or contrived( Octavia's relationship with Blue Tune seemed kind of off like it started out well but then it seemed to be kind of stereotypical and not very realistic (I'm sure theirs a better explanation than this but)). I hope you continue this. I want to read what happen next
6659487
I see what you mean with rushed. Yeah. I probably tried to put the story on less space, as needed.
I didn't plan to continue this story - as everything is told, what I wanted to say in this matter. But I have some ideas how things work out from this point - so maybe I'll write a sequel, or better more stories about Vinyl and Octavia in this verse.
6664920 I hope you do decide to write a sequel, this was very enjoyable to read.