//------------------------------// // Seventh Chapter - Feels so Different // Story: A Scratched Melody // by Pankrazius //------------------------------// It was a bright cloudless day, the streets of Canterlot laying before me. Despite the anxiety before the big event I had slept better then the most nights before. Berryshine had given me the day off, off course. After all it was her idea. And she was right. It doesn't matter how the day would go. It doesn't matter which place I would take. It doesn't even matter if I get any place at all. I already had won! I had made it. From the deepest darkest hole I ever had fallen, back to the top. Tartarus, not even the snooty Canterlot High Society could unnerve me today. I saw the banners and advertises for the grand showcase in the palace gardens. And I was part of it. My (sadly still just lent) equip had been delivered to my booth at the festival. But I had much to much time at my hooves, so I just strolled through narrow alleys or crossed nice plazas, surrounded by cafés or market stalls, erected for the grand party. My turn would be sometime in the evening. Like most musicians of my genre I preferred the night for my show. Hey - it seems Princess Luna could rejoice. Nowadays the night wasn't the time, the ponies shunned and slept any longer. More than enough of them embraced her precious night today. Somehow my hooves led me back to the gardens. It was a music showcase after all. And even if the genre played at this hour, wasn't my cup of tea, it was interesting to hear, what the others had to offer. Just entered the park, I heard the sounds, which led my towards the centre stage. A young white unicorn with green hair played violin. Like Bethooves fifth, played on three screaming cats. But hey - nopony was born a master. And even if the performance was far from perfect, she had at least earned respect for trying. Yeah. The audience didn't seemed much intrigued. No cheering, no party and less than average amount of dancing. But I knew. This had to be this way with classic music. Another reason, why I didn't like it. My eyes glanced over the rows of ponies waiting for their turn. Combos with instruments stood together chatting. Soloists, anxious looks on their faces. A grey earth pony with a cello, not far from the stage entrance. No! Gosh! I shuddered and stumbled a step, bumping in one of the classic-fans in the last row, earning annoyed hissing. "Sorry.", I mumbled, correcting my shades, without even thinking about it. Octavia. I hadn't seen her for... how long? Three months? Ten years? My whole live? Shit. I trembled and had to lean against a tree. My heart puckered. But why? After all I hadn't to do anything with her. We had ended our friendship long ago. And today I knew the reasons. Every single reason why it had happened. So she had lived her life - with her new special stallion. And I had found a way out of the misery my life had become after the breakup. We didn't have anything in common. But why did it hit me this strong, seeing her? I knew the answer. I knew it the whole time, but I had swallowed it. Tried to forget it. Because she was the damn reason why I had changed. I had it done for her. Maybe it was just a story for myself, to set me straight. Because I had valued myself to less. So I dedicated all I had done to her. To have a reason to move on. Even if I hadn't see Tavi in all the time. But now - she was here. What should I do? Approaching her - just to feel her rejection. Octavia had less than no reason to like me, or even to look at me. I had let her down many times. To often to count. Maybe I had changed. At least a bit. I knew. But if she ignored me or refused to talk - what reason should I have then to stay on my way? Gosh darn it. I pondered. At least I should apologize. This was one crucial step as Berry had told me. Yes. I would go to her. Apologize and explain what happened to me. Maybe she had no reason to like me. But at least she should know that I am sorry for what I have done to her. It wouldn't matter if she forgave me. As long as she knew. I believed every word I said to myself. I looked up, searching for her in the crowd. As I found her, she wasn't alone. And something seemed off. * * * My emotions drove roller coaster. On one hoof I was lucky to stand here, backstage, waiting for my performance. I embraced listening to the other musicians. But on the other hoof I hated myself for letting Blue down. It was some kind of betrayal on him. We had another fight in the evening. But at least I could convince him to let me go. I had begged him. Kneeling. He wasn't lucky at all. But after all he allowed me to do this. I felt bad. Maybe he was right. After the showcase I had to head home, pack and went by train in the very morning to arrive in Manehatten on time. And this night I won't get much sleep either. What if my play was to bad for the orchestra? What if my pride robbed me of my only chance to make it to the top. And then there was this lingering feeling to see Ponyville never again if I entered the train. Sure - it would take time to plan the movements. And the audition didn't mean I could start at the orchestra right away. It would take a few weeks before I really had to leave. Time enough to bid my farewells to my friends. I let my eyes float. So many ponies sat before the stage. Applauding polite. They seemed like a experienced audience. A bit stiff but courteous. So if I didn't botch the play, I could embrace their applause. I sighed lowly. I knew I should have been more relaxed. Or at least eager to play. But all the sorrows weighted so heavy. I didn't want to let down Tune. He had done so much for me. And he had so much stress the last weeks - all for me and my career. I should have been more thankful I think. Yes - he had hit me again. But... I think it wasn't alone his fault. And I knew this would stop, once I had attended the orchestra. I knew he didn't want to hit me after all. It was just his nerves. To much at once. And I couldn't give in too. "Hi Dear.", Tunes deep voice sounded right behind me and I startled. Concentrating on the crowd of ponies before me I just ignored my back. "Oh. Hi Tune." I turned my head. Tune seemed calm. But with a sad face. Instantly my mood dropped. I didn't want to see him sad. Seeing him sad could mean to see him angry later. "Everything OK?" I asked - hopefully neutral. "Sure. Everything's fine. I have called the intendant once again," his voice grew darker "I have rescheduled your audition by a week. Was the only way. No other appointments left open. And, before you ask, he wasn't very pleased with your lack of compassion." I felt my mouth gaping open, while I stared at Tune. "I... I never asked you to do this... I mean we had planned all this - and there is enough time" I stuttered. Why by Celestia he had called in Manehatten? "Gosh! Just Shut up! I had enough trouble for today. If you could just appreciate what I am doing for you. Only for ONE TIME!" The words stung. Somewhere between heart and lung. And a lump build up my throat. I could see it in his eyes. His mood was bad again. I had make feel him bad. And I could see the glimpse of anger in his face. "I..." My mouth went dry, while sweat built up on my forehead. "No. No apologies! Just shut up. If you can't think for your self, then just keep your mouth shut." Why did he he do this? I felt the glaring looks of the other musicians burning. What would they think of me now? "You said I could go." I sounded weak and felt tears welling up once again. He knew I never would make him feel bad. Not intentionally. But... he has allowed me... Shit. No. No crying in front of all this ponies. "Yes - because you have begged and begged and made a fool out of yourself. I had hoped you'll come to your mind over night. But NO! Little miss Cellist had to follow the nice bubbles in her head." "Don't..", I begged again, turning my head away. "Don't what? Telling you what you are? A selfish, bubbly little foal, feather-headed enough to spoil the best chance of your shitty life? Gosh Octavia! This one opportunity. The only one - and you let slip it for... for what?" "I dreamt playing here since..." the rest of what I wanted to say was drowned ins sobbing. Shit how pathetic. I just wanted to play at this summit for so long. "Oh. Yes. And now crying. Gosh you are embarrassing! You know that? Just grow up. And now - come on. Lets go home. Maybe I can call in Manehatten... again. After this performance of yours, you surely don't want to go up there? He hoofed towards the stage. More and more ponies got attention of what happened. "N..no.", I answered weak. I really can't remember why I had dissented. "See. Now come!" he barked. "No. I don't want to come. I want to... stay," I felt every ounce of composure melt. It just was a question of seconds before I would follow him. But I didn't get the seconds. "What? Just... stop being stupid. Don't make a show. Come on!", he yelled now. Then, before I could react I felt his grip on my mane, pulling me forwards. I lost balance, stumbled forward. "Hey! Stop it. You hurting me!", I screamed - more in shock than anything else. I heard voices. The other musicians had finally chosen to intervene. "Mister - let go of the lady, or I call the guard!", the voice belonged to one of the violinists back in the row. Others mumbled and I felt some hooves helping to stabilize me. Tunes grip loosened. "Stop it. I just want to save this prissy bitch from her own stupidity!" His words hurt more than his hoof. "Please.... don't don't say that. I love you and..." "SHUT UP! If I think about it... fuck you. You heard! FUCK YOU. If you want to live the rest of your life here. Then FINE!" It was like a dagger to my chest. "No! No! I want.. to." "BE QUITE." ...the dagger pierced deeper... "I love you!", tears welled of my eyes, made my view blurry "I BUCKING HATE YOU! You and your shitty attitudes." ... and got turned around in the wound, just to... "No! You don't mean that! We... we can fix this. I'll come with you. Lets... lets talk", pain and panic let me shudder. "GOSH DARN IT. NO Its over. I had enough trouble. Stay in your hicksville. Die there! I am out of here." ... finally get ripped out of my chest, leaving me faltering, dying. No. Everything but that! Please! I struggled free from the surrounding ponies, dashed behind Blue Tune. "Please! Don't go. I...", then he hit me. I felt fiery pain in my muzzle. My body became weak and limb I cried in pain. In shock. Then out of nowhere: "YOU STOP IT!", I heard another voice. Female. Strong. And very very pissed. "If you lay your hoof on her... We don't need the guard. But YOU will need a medic. Understood?!" I laid on the ground, sobbing and crying. It took a few moments before I realized to whom the voice belonged. She... reached out with her foreleg to help me. "Come up.", her voice was calm and friendly. I grabbed the hoof and I braced myself up. Tears fogged my sight, so I could just get an impression of white blue and magenta before me. Blue Tune was nowhere to be found. "Vinyl?" "Everything OK?" I heard her ask. Concern in her voice. Dumb question. My friend had dumped me in front of a few hundred ponies, the fight was the most embarrassing thing ever... But no.. I scolded myself. She meant my muzzle. She hoofed me a handkerchief and I cleared my eyes from the tears. Some driblets of blood were on it. "Think so." Reality hit me like a hammer. No more Blue Tune. No more his smile in the morning. No more his little presents. No more his reassuring self. Again I cried. But this time I felt one leg around me, securing me. Sobbing and tearing I let Vinyl led me away from the scene. * * * "Nothing to worry about. Just a little blood vessel inside your muzzle. Should heal in no time," The doctors look darkened. "But there is another thing I want to talk - if you allow." I nodded. I knew what had to come. "Haematoma on your face. Some older than others. Since when do you suffer violence from your..." - "Ex!" I answered dry. "Good to hear," he stated. But instead of seconding him I started to cry again. "It was not his fault. If I..." "Miss. I must dissent on this. Maybe a relationship could go rough. Maybe there are disagreements. And the heavens know even between me and my wife there were spoken some improvident words. But there is no excuse for violence. Never." After he had hoofed me some absorbent wool for my nostril, I walked off his office. The words still lingering in my mind. But where did it went wrong? Somehow the wool smelled sweet. Like cotton candy. No.. it had a remembrance on Sugarcube Corner. Where we had met first. Shit. Another wave of feelings rushed over me, let me weep. "Tavi? You're all right? What did the doc say?", again Vinyl lend me a hoof. Moments later we sat on a waiting bench in the hospitals entrance. Instead of answering I tried to intone the one question bothering me the whole time: "Vinyl... why did you help me?" "Gosh... just because we are no friends any more, doesn't mean I won't help you. Nopony deserves this. Especially you." "Especially me?", I wondered, lifting my head. Surprisingly she had lifted her shades and stared at me with her red eyes. "Nothing...", she mumbled blushing. "Sorry. I didn't want to..." then she straightened herself, standing up and looking at me. "See - I have done many shit in the time we lived together. I was no good friend more than often to you. Since you are gone I had much time to think about this. I have tried to become the friend you would have deserved. Even if its to late now. The only thing I wanted to do was apologizing for my behaviour. And... If you want I am out of your live then - bothering you never again." I stared her like a ghost. I realized what she had said. And tears began to well again. "No. No. Please don't go. I don't want to be alone." The fear had gotten grip of me like a icy claw. All alone. Nopony to be with. "Oookay....", first she looked a bit unsure - but soon I saw her trademark smile all across her face. I added her genuine happy smile on the list of things I had missed. On top. "I accept your apology." I said. "Friends?" "Indeed.", I smiled back. And somehow the world regained a few colors.