Pony Immortal

by VectorSprite

Applejack: Ambivalence

Applejack was grateful to Twilight for extending her life. She viewed it as an opportunity that would be otherwise impossible, but at the same time she realized her place in the world had long since past. She enjoyed watching the new generations of Apples grow, and loved getting to know each of them, but there was a degree of separation between her and them. None could really fill the holes left by her brother and sister.

Applejack still lived on the farm, but now she had her own small cottage on the property. She used to live in the house, but decided to move out to make room for the new families that would come. She continued to work on the farm as she always had, but in time she began to wonder if that's what she should really do. Sure she had more experience than anypony ever could, but if she had lived out her normal life span the new generations of Apples would take care of the farm just fine without her. So she had to ask herself if her role on the farm was really necessary?

As time went on she found herself growing more distant. Her once cherished family seemed to pass her by as if she was simply a part of the farm, as stable and unchanging as the earth itself. But she didn’t feel stable at all. When the world changes and you stay the same, it’s like being a tumble weed with no wind to carry you.

But despite her growing disconnection, her family revered her. They called her the Ever Apple, she was the oldest, and the wisest. She also personally knew Granny Smith, who had been on the farm since the beginning. Applejack was considered the living history of the entire Ponyville chapter of the Apple family. But it was that position that made her realize she didn’t have a history of her own.

She may have been pivotal in the most significant events in not only Ponyville but also Equestria, but Applejack knew it was really the little things that were truly important. When she looked at the faces of the new generations that would come she would see glimpses of Big Mac and Apple Bloom, but she would never glimpse herself.

Applejack didn’t know why she never had a family of her own, somehow it never occurred to her. She always put her responsibilities first, and her responsibilities never seemed end. Dating and those sorts of things just never got prioritized.

Rarity refused to have children, which Applejack understood. Afterall, she remembered how much it hurt when Big Mac died, and Watching Apple bloom go was even worse. It was so strange when they got older. There were times when AJ mistook Applebloom for granny smith. Memories like that were always bittersweet, but the memories that were never sweet were the funerals. AJ had to watch her brother and sister die, and their children, and their children's children, and so on.

AJ didn't want to say she was numb to it at this point, but truth be told she was. In a way she had begun to view her family the same way she viewed the farm. She watched the new generations grow like the leaves on the apple trees, and likewise, watched them wither and fall. In a way, witnessing the cycle of life in this way gave her a unique sense of peace.

Rainbow Dash on the other hoof did the opposite of Rarity, having two sets of kids. Applejack understood the appeal despite the heartache. When they had lost their parents Applejack had to take up the role of a mother figure for Applebloom, so she had a glimpse of what raising a child could be. As she considered the possibility Applejack began to question whether or not she was really ready for that responsibility. A strange thought considering her abnormal age, She realized when she was made immortal she was frozen at the young age she had been. Maturity didn’t just come from age but ageing. So in losing one, she lost the other.

Or was that just an excuse? after all Rainbow and Rare moved on. What did they have that AJ didn’t? She thought and realized their lives never stayed the same. Applejack had fallen into a routine, and because of it her life had stagnated.

AJ thought back to her childhood when she traveled to Manehattan and discovered who she was meant to be. She realized she needed to take a journey like that again. Entrusting the farm to the current generation of Apples she left and began to travel Equestria.

She traveled by hoof from one coast to the other seeing many sites, including ones she had traveled too in years past. She was amazed at how much things had changed, but even more amazed at the things that didn’t. Eventually she found herself in Canterlot where she visited Princess Celestia and Luna, and requested for them to teach her how to live the life of an immortal. They agreed and during her time in the castle Applejack was reunited with Twilight who had also been studying amongst the Princesses..

Thanks to the help of the Princesses, Including Twilight, Applejack rediscovered herself. For a long time she had viewed herself only as a small part of something larger, just a background figure in other ponies lives, and she had lost her individuality because of it. But now she knew who she was beyond her role as a farmer, beyond her role as the Ever Apple, and beyond her relationships to other ponies.

Satisfied with what she had learned abroad, Applejack returned home. She still felt she should leave the farm and let the new generations carry on, but she also knew that farming was a part of her in the same way sunshine was a part of the apples she farmed. She figured she would always have mixed feelings like that, but she now knew that was a part of life. Regardless if it was immortal or not.