It's an offhand remark, “You're only young once,” but for Twilight Sparkle it strikes an unsettling chord. After all, everypony has to grow up; and when ponies grow up, they move away; and when they move away, they fall out of touch...
Terrified that her friends are going to drop out of her life, Twilight resolves to spend every waking moment with them. She also gives up sleeping.
This can only end well.
Dedicated to absent friends, to all our times together, and to reunions yet to come. Don't ever stop being awesome.
Chapters (2)
Thanks for reading, everyone. For those interested in knowing about how the story will progress, I expect it to run a total of four chapters, which will hopefully be a little shorter (though I thought this one would be shorter too, so...), and I'm gonna try to get chapter 2 written in the next three or four weeks if I can. However, I've got several other creative projects going on that actually have deadlines, so I can't promise I'll be able to keep to that.
Feedback is totally welcome and appreciated, the more detailed the better (if you've got anything for me on character voice or wordiness I'll be your best friend), and I hope to see you all next time.
Oh, and if anyone thinks of something better for a cover image, I am open to suggestions. Maybe happy/slightly-manic Twilight staring into your soul says it all, though.
Also, hey you actually read the whole thing and my note on it! As a reward, um... outtakes?
Rarity: To protect the world from devastation
Applejack: In brightest day, in blackest night
Pinkie Pie: To save our friend from institutionalization!
Fluttershy: And banish madness with hope's light!
Rainbow Dash: To battle evil with coolness and style!
Pinkie: To get everypony to ♫smile, smile, smile, fill my heart up with sunshine! Sunshine! All I really need's a--♫
All: Pinkie!
Pinkie: Whew! Well that's a relief—I've already got one of those!
All I have to say is Twilight going nuts to the point to creating a Grand Master Plan that is guaranteed to work everytime? Proceed.
"The Society for Protecting Twilight's Sanity"
This is the best line I have ever read in any story ever.
Well done!
Was that... Was that a Digimon reference?
Ok, i didn't expected something THIS interesting. Thumb up, fav and waiting for more!
So, id like to ask shining if twilight has always been...Mad, bonkers, off her head?
All the best ponies are
FINALLY
I have been trying to get him to finish and post this for over a week. Can't wait to read the final version!
Will comment afterward, of course.
This is wonderful. It reminds me so much of Terry Pratchett. The day you update will be a happy day at my house!
This is so effing Watched.
Love that Team Rocket / Green Lantern motto.
Also, already mentioned this to you in chat, but I imagined Twilight sitting in her house for hours and listening to this instead.
Oh, my. This is hairier than "Lesson Zero."
I must see this through to the end.
Yes! I had forgotten about this story. Glad to see it updated. Manic Twilight is the best Twilight!
Also the science verbiage and the funny writing style your using, makes this a great read. I especially like how your personifying multiple objects. The writing has a very Douglas Adams feel to it.
oh boy I love surprises! I can't wait to see what it is
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/304/d/b/psycho_pony_is_psycho_by_megbeth-d4emz4u.jpg
This is one of the top ten funniest fanfics I've ever read. The humor is terrific and there's a great laugh every two or three paragraphs. I absolutely cracked up during the PInkie Pie segment, and it's always hilarious when things get chaotic and destructive at Fluttershy's cottage because, like Twilight's library and Rarity's boutique, it reflects her personality, but unlike said locations, she can't be expected to fix any damage as easily.
"The lessons of Madame Valentine's School of Ettiquette were as much a part of her as a smoker's lighter or an alcoholic's flask. So, with her higher functions otherwise occupied, she reached for a bottle of politeness and popped a few without even looking at the dosing instructions. "
You have no idea how badly I wish I could write like that. Especially with my GaP Trixie/Waldorf & Statler fanfic nearing completion.
973879 "The writing has a Douglas Adams feel"
Well that's certainly high praise--thanks! Though I haven't read any of his stuff in some time. I've been feeling more Pratchett lately. I suppose they're not really the same style of humor, but I've never actually done a comparison of what's different between them, apart form Pratchett's more obvious literary aspirations.
974897 I can only hope it won't disappoint.
979410 Wow. I'm not sure I've had someone on the internet actually tell me that they were envious of my writing before. Thanks! And/or I'm sorry, because envying other people's writing isn't exactly fun, if it is sometimes inspiring (I recently cursed Howl's Moving Castle for being the book I wanted to write only better).
I'm also really glad someone liked that line. I was afraid it might have been a little too much. I know, judging from the rest of this fic "too much" is not a phrase in my vocabulary, but I do occasionally think that a 2-sentence digression that's just a funny way of saying "character A wasn't paying attention when they did this" is why I end up with 10,000 word chapters. And then hate myself for writing 10,000 word chapters.
And to be honest, I hadn't really considered that Twilight or Rarity would have a much easier time repairing damage than Fluttershy. What with the lack of fine manipulators AND no magic to compensate for it.
Wh...what have I done...?
(Also once I realized that GaP was "Great and Powerful" and reminded myself who Waldorf and Statler were that premise sounds really amusing)
998675
I agree, it does have a Pratchett feel to it as well. Both he and Adam had a talent for making the ordinary, dry situation absurd. This a common facet of being British(I know I was one).
If you want to read Adams I would recommend 'Dirk Gentely's Holistic detective agency' and its sequel, 'The long, dark, tea time of the soul'
They are two of his lesser know works as everyone usually just reads Hitchhiker's guide.
998802 Hahah, funny you should mention The Long, Dark Tea Time of the Soul. I picked it up early in high school for its title and never got through the first couple of pages due to it being kind of dense and me being kind of a distractable idiot. I shall have to give his other stuff a try--probably easier than lugging my Bible-sized Hitchhiker's compendium back to college with me.
Also you Brits have all the luck. My only cultural advantage to comedy writing is being Jewish, and I don't have enough stage presence to be a stand-up comedian. Or much appreciation for how to create a joke in a vacuum like that. On the one hand I imagine it's kind of freeing but dear God, if delivery in prose is hard I can't even imagine the fine-tuning that goes into a stand-up act...
998834
Well I can understand dropping the book, it is very odd and the plot is just.. well its something. I would give it another chance. I enjoyed it but then again, 'raised British'.
Look don't knock your self, growing up on British comedy has its own problems, like spouting dry humor no one else understands(including my non British wife), finding men in women's clothing funny, and a compulsion to spout off Monty Python at inappropriate moments. And I mean the sketch stuff, not just the Holy Grail.
998675
Twilight going crazy never disappoints
998675 Well don't hate yourself for extending "character A wasn't paying attention when they did this" two a too-sentence digression (I did that intentionally just fore kicks). "character A wasn't paying attention when they did this" is a boring sentence. Why, if you reduced your writing in such a way I would stop reading and then you'd feel utterly despicable. So there.
I'm glad the premise catches your interest. I'm still not sure about my ability to write humor (unless there's a character who act exactly like Harpo Marx to support all the laughs, which is very easy for me two write for some reason). But examining the way you word things in this fanfic really has me thinking about how I can achieve that level of humor. Guess we'll see.
And yeah, you should feel terrible for doing that to Fluttershy. Those are feelings I usually reserve for Spike with how Twilight treats him or how easily the fandom forgets him.
Momentum sure is a bitch, ain't it, Twi?
I must say, this story is shaping up to be quite brilliant.
I truly am loving this story. Your style of humor has me giggling throughout the entire thing, and I can't wait to see what else you have in store!
I recently read the story, but I couldn't help but notice that you haven't updated since July. Are you still planning on continuing it?
I hope so, because it's very well written and thoroughly amusing. The only thing that bothers me is that from time to time your characters fall OOC. I'm not talking about big, gross OOCness, just small moments, but still. Do note, however, that I'm not an infallible overlord when it comes to judging characters. All in all, I'd be very interested in reading more.
1579904 I fully intend to continue, but must admit I've been stymied by schoolwork and other projects (oh god has it really been like 3 months?). As I mentioned in a recent blog post, the nice thing about this story is that I can -always- find my way back to the right mental frame to write Twilight in it, because there is never ever ever enough time. This story also means something to me on a couple of levels, beyond just trying to make the funniest thing I can (which sounds super lame and either like I'm dismissive of comedy or like I don't care about my other comedy, but I'm not sure how else to put it, what do you want from me, you think I'm some kind of person who writes things?). Anyway, rest assured that I have a plan for the rest, and I'll do my best to put it into action when I catch a break.
That said, I would be interested to hear your comments on characters falling OOC. You might not be an infallible judge-overlord, but I'm not an infallible writer either. I know there are times when I've been dissatisfied with character voice, certainly. Anyway, I'm always willing to at least consider a well-thought-out criticism. I might go all egotistical and decide I know best, but I'll do my best to at least listen first. And even if I don't change things in the story so far, it's always good to sharpen one's thinking going forward.
Sorry if this just sounded totally stuffy, I'm in essay writing mode at the moment... therefores and forewiths and liminal spaces and flim-flanglers and zoob-zooblers and whatnot.
1580186
But let me just say that I'm glad you didn't abandon the fic.
It's good that you're in essay writing mode, because I'm in "two in the morning" mode - my apologies if my comment comes through as a little messy!
Well, it's been a few days since I read the story, so I might not remember everything that bothered me (the key here is that, as I was saying, these were small moments, big enough only to bother me, but not to make me facepalm or roll my eyes).
But, okay. If I recall correctly, in the first chapter, Rainbow was willing to let Twilight plummet to her death (well, naturally, she ended up not dying, but that's not the point). You could say that maybe Rainbow didn't hear Twilight yelling, but since she kept teleporting near her, it's a little flimsy excuse.
Or, the most prominent case was Pinkie. I mean, over the course of two full seasons, we only saw Pinkie angry two times total: when A) she thought her friends abandoned her, and B) when AJ broke her promise. It's worth noting that I'm still not sure if this latter was really necessary; for me, it seemed like a little forced and offhand joke from the animators, seeing how Pinkie only shrugs and says "Oh well" in Green isn't your Color, when Twilight breaks a similar promise. Anyhow, canon is canon, but outside these two situations I'm almost unable to imagine Pinkie "Just Forgive And Laugh" Pie lashing out on one her friends.
Well, that was the two most memorable OOC scene I could recall right now. Twilight ditching her books did not feel OOC, since the other characters reacted appropriately, showing how serious business it was.
1580325 At the risk of making excuses, my headcanon (which maybe could do with being explicitified in the text) for those are:
1) Rainbow knew Twi was falling over a lake and would be okay, if damp (cartoon physics, obviously drowning is not an option).
2) Pinkie being turned into a thing that couldn't talk or move strikes me as her vision of hell.
That being said, I think I've had both of those issues raised by other people, and my counterclaims are probably a little flimsy and/or not clear in the text. It was recommended that something bad would need to almost-happen to the Cake twins for Pinkie to get really upset which strikes me as a good direction if I find time to revisit this.
So yeah, reasonable complaints. I could probably at the least alleviate the Rainbow one, since I was planning on adding a scene to the beginning of this fic ages ago and never quite got around to polishing it off. And once you have a document open all sorts of insane things crop up that need fixing. Anyhoo, thanks for your input.
1580661
Well, Pinkie would most likely detest being an inanimate object, but you can never be sure about her (I mean, it's Pinkie, after all). You yourself wrote that she prepares for parties seventeen hours a day, though probably not completely motionless in the whole time (come to think of, that also struck me as a bit odd).
But that's just nitpicking! Keep up the good work!
(P.S.: I should let you know, though, that the word "explicitified" was pushing the envelope!
)
This was fantastic. I could see this being a canon episode :) (albiet one for a slightly older audience, premise slightly adjsuted, obviously :) ) ... and to me, that's a rare thing to find in the sea of fanfics. Well written <3 ... that said, it's been a while -- abandoned...?
Planning at all to finish this story? Just found it today and it's pretty damn good
3118487 Absolutely! But I am a flake and easily distracted by seven other things and am not currently making promises about when this finishing will happen.
This story means quite a bit to me, though, so I don't intend to leave it hanging forever. I'd like to get back to work on it soon, time allowing.
Glad you enjoyed! I hope you'll bear with me until I can finish it.
And that, purple smart, is why you always wear the long fall boots when you go portal-bouncing.
Definitely like this story. It feels sort of... Like if FiM was a series of novels written for teens, kind of like Artemis Fowl (originally) was. Certainly childish, but also wonderfully adult at the same time. And yet, it completely fits the universe, just sort of... Aged up? If you understand? Anyway, I look forward to reading the next chapter!