But who controls the stars?...

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This story is a sequel to My Little Pony Equestria Girls 3: Twilight's Shadow

As Twilight wanders within the ruins of the Castle of the Two Sisters, she is blissfully unaware that she is about to discover a secret that has stayed buried for close to a millenium...and will change her understanding of Celestia and Luna - forever.

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Comments ( 11 )

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rogueunicorn

rogueunicorn #1 · Mar 9th, 2015 · 1 · · The Discovery in the Ruins ·

Interesting... I'll be anticipating the next chapter.

null_name5656

null_name5656 #2 · Mar 9th, 2015 · · · The Discovery in the Ruins ·

In all technicality Princess Luna has been known to control the stars. She doesnt just control the moon, she controls the night sky. However this isnt one hundred percent confirmed so I guess forming a headcanon that someone else controls the stars isnt really a crime against the canon. I'll read through this and see what I think.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/10/21/453444__safe_fluttershy_princess+luna_clothes_plot_cute_smile_upvotes+galore_costume_dialogue.png

null_name5656

null_name5656 #3 · Mar 10th, 2015 · · · The Discovery in the Ruins ·

Well, that was short. I admittedly kinda skimmed through it just to see what all of this is about and why the likes to dislikes is actually contested. The very first thing I noticed was a couple of simple things.

Twilight had recently started suffering from occasional bouts of insommnia. Concerned, she had visited the local doctor, who diagnosed it as a leftover stress reaction from the "Dark Twilight Incident", as it had already been termed. Which did made sense. After all, it wasn't every day that one got their mind almost taken over by an alternate, evil personality.

You misspelled Insomnia, and I would like to know what the hell the quote on quote 'Dark Twilight Incident' was. Unless this is a continuation of another one of your stories, or there's an episode of the show that's out that I just haven't seen; I can only assume this has something to do with Dark Magic from her venture into Sombra's castle corrupting her temporarily. One last complaint I have is that this smells of one thing...
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw10709_small.jpg
I have every right to be suspicious, ominous knowledge that there is an OC tag, possible forgotten alicorn, possible forgotten alicorn with a very human name. Everything is in its place for a terrible alicorn OC. If that is the case then this could potentially lead to major, and I mean major problems for this story. Just to clarify; I don't hate alicorn OC's just because they are alicorns, I have seen alicorn OC's being done well; however I greatly dislike it when people try to use alicorn OC's to represent a ponified version of themselves, they don't add an alternate universe tag *Check*, they make it a relative of royalty; or do the complete opposite and make it so that every other pony just sees it as another pony, and/or (etc.)

This author looks like a good writer, so I'm hoping he isn't going down that path. Because if he does then this story will dive bomb from contested likes to dislikes to dislikes dwarfing the likes.

Revan

Revan #4 · Mar 10th, 2015 · 1 · · The Discovery in the Ruins ·

5718569 Well, as I am the author, I can assure you that Estella is NOT a ponified version of me (or any other human being, fictional or nonfictional). I chose the name "Estella" because it is Spanish for "star", and as for the fact that Luna controls the stars as well as the moon... well, let's just say that wasn't part of the original job description. Also, I apologize for misspelling insomnia. And the "Dark Twilight Incident" is a story I've had in my head for months, which I WILL be releasing/writing here on FIMfiction sometime soon.

If you have any other questions/notes of mistakes/commentary, feel free to ask me.

Revan

Techgirl

Techgirl #5 · Apr 4th, 2015 · · · The Discovery in the Ruins ·

5718921

I chose the name "Estella" because it is Spanish for "star"

Umm no, the correct spanish word for star is actually "Estrella" not Estella but the word does come from the LATIN word Estella.

P.S. I really like where this story is going I hope the alicorn Estella was some kind of past incarnation of Twi or something, I cant wait till the next update to see what happens .