A Lament Story
Kate is 19, in the prime of her life when her sudden transportation to the land of Equestria, full of magical pastel horses. Being a country girl, she takes up residence with the Apple family and is soon finding herself warming up to Big Macintosh. Yet little does she know that Mac harbors a secret, he has a huge throbbing crush on the young woman. Can love overcome family values and societal norms?
Idea thanks to Wubs and Waffles!
Written for my best friend Kate who was set free from the Earth on 2/12/15.
Chapters (2)
after reading the pre story to this story I will defiantly be watching this story vary closely.
and my hart goes out to you sir as I also have hade a lose of a loved one recently.
This was awesome! I can't wait for chapter two
5658148
Glad you enjoyed it!
sounds like it could be interesting
Hey there, awesome story so far, hoping to see more soon. Also I'm sure that she would be very proud of you.
hum now how do I say this the right way.??
how to improve the story???
keep going the way you are I think it is really good.
if any thing think about how long you want this story to be? don't rush Mack and Kate to fast let thing develop at a normal rate.
Harts Fire
I think you meant "dismembered". Disembowelment is when your stomach gets cut open and your guts spill out. That was the only error i saw.
Good job. Good start. Can't wait to see moar.
Happy Writing!
~Wubs and Waffles
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Brohoof
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Given the progression of the romance in these stories, that's not the only thing of his that's throbbing for her.
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Haven't read this yet. But I'm gonna take a wild guess, and put it into the female human x pony group.
Okay I am liking this so far, it's nice sweet and the comedy tag fits really well. I am sorry about your friend though, if I can spot anything or suggest anything I'll let you know.
There aren't nearly enough female human in equestria stories.
Derpy's Human, Equiphobia and A Voice Among Strangers are the only one's I can think of.
5660746 And those don't update anywhere near as often as I would like.
Let's see where this goes. Tracking for now.
A female human in Equestria. Huh, interesting. Way to break the meta.
5663422
A fan made the request and I figured I'd try my luck and see where it went.
5660746 here's another Female in Equestria story: The Impossible
It's clop, but it has a story in it, too.
5660746 It seems to be a thing to have female humans in Equestria have sex with either Big Macintosh or Cheerilee. (The MC of Girls' Night by Darf actually has sex with both.)
Hm... I like HiE romances and love me a good story but, good lord, you covered in one chapter what could've gone at least two to three. Still...follow.
the sweet factor I rate it at 75%
this chapter 100% good work I am thinking you are doing really good with this story. keep up the good work.
I like the cuddles. Cuddles are amazing. Of course, my music kinda ruined the mood (Self Esteem by the Offspring, and Bonkers by Dizzee Rascal).
This was a great chapter. Not too fast and just sweet enough. Then again, with romance I have a sweet tooth.
5666708
dude that music is a total buzzkill for the mood!
5666816
Appreciate it!
nice update
Wow that was sweet. You do need spacing between your paragraphs, and it's Apple Bloom, her name is two words. Also a suggestion, longer chapters give greater a chance at greater depth and helps to avoid a rushed feeling.
I think you missed (give) in there
but a really good chapter keep it up
i guess i had prefered it, if she was willing to give him a chance and not already liked him, but i seems to be a nice story. you could say i agree with that one, who said it could be already thee chapters or something like that, but it is good.
I guess i just like it if the romance happens slowly.
5666889 i know. I don't know why i left my music playing.
5667529
I use GDocs so it's a little tricky
When can we except updates? This story is too good not to keep up with.
5670148
When I write them. I don't run on a timeline. Sorry.
5670292 Sorry to hear about your friend. I offer my condolences.
5669296 Yeah I've seen other writers in this site complain about it at times. I don't use it myself, I do all of work on the site instead.
5671320
I think Gdocs is better. I'm just figuring out the kinks
5673135 Sounds like a bit of a headache, but you'll get worked out I bet.
5673140
Eeyup
Any hope for this story?
i feel as tho this fic has died
and im sad for that
This is soooo gooood!
Your friend would have been so proud of you.
More please!
new chapter please
more chapters please.
just the description of the story is a attention grabber
Not sure how much I liked this, but do you continue?