Part of the Five Score shared universe by Twisted Spectrum
Sometimes, even in the darkest place, hope can be found. When 2 Rangers find themselves changed by the Five score curse, their lives are forever altered. With a past life full of missed opportunities, and questions about their own destinies, can 2 friends find a new path for themselves or will they be expected to return to their old friends and family which they hardly recognize. When Hearts, cutie marks, and past expectations collide, a simple realization comes about, sometimes there is no right choice.
This story has a Teen rating, simply because it covers some mature themes and content, not due to gore, sexual scene or such.
Tags for this are a little hard, Its best described as a mix between Action and Slice of Life (which are of course conflicting tags), with a blend of comedy and sadness. (Conflicting tags), set in the 5 score human world.
I would Like to give special thanks to my support and editor, Sparky Brony, who helped with this story and encouraged me to write. Sparky Brony has been the BEST help ever in this. Cover art provided by the great and powerful Alkarasu keeper of the magic chainsaw.
Oh My Gosh! Finally A New Side Story to the Five-Score Universe!
also yay!
I was hoping to be first comment, but either way, congratulations on the hard week of writing. Now enjoy. And to all you readers, FEEDBACK! New author, new story, tell kitsy what you think.
5621462
Thanks for the hard few days you put in editing, its not over yet though, still need part 8 edited, and i'm well into part. Long way to go before my group even gets to the first gate opening.
5621462
sorry 'bout that , it's just that it's been months since the last 5-score side-fic and i got all exited
anyway great story so far, a few grammar mistakes here and there, but nothing a little proofreading couldn't fix.
Also why is it that the US government almost always has to go all x-men in stories like this
5621889
More along the lines of Ebola. Government thought it was a contagion of some kind and applied standard outbreak protocols.
Some people then took that to their own use and advantage :)
5621889
Have you been keeping up with Dust on the Wind? That's a great one, too.
BTW, kitsy, great work on the story so far!
5621913 wow! I love how your in the same five score universe as dust on the wind! You get a Like, Favorite, Tracking and watch! :D
5622388
Oh yeh, characters from both stories cross.
I am really liking this something about this story just grabbed me and sucked me right in.
Harts Fire
5623378 when the new chapter ended I was like noooo I need more XD
5629732
9's being edited, 10's in the works
Great job with writing about Twilight Velvet, the mother of Princess Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor. I wonder what would happen if Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor end up meeting their parents (even Night Light, Twilight Velvet's husband and father of Twilight and Shining Armor)?
I like the way you incorporated the E.U.P (Earth, Unicorn, Pegasus) group that was the forerunner of the current Wonderbolts mentioned in Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3.
ode choice of locations Gallup, New Mexico I have ben threw there several times driving truck,
a interesting place is about all I can say about it.
grate job with this story it just keeps getting stronger as it goes.
cant weight for the next chapter.
Harts Fire
Well, I'm surprised (and glad) to see that even almost a year after the end of the original story someone was still interested enough to overcome the 30,000 words requirement for a new side story
5632196 Thank you, actually i'm coming up on 50k words, and still have a ways to go, battle of the 3 armies is still a ways away... And so much to do, so much to cover before then.
ok, 10's done off to editor, now onto part 11.
5632196
"FIVE SCORE" stories are always well received because they are "certificated long" (because of the requirement) and usually it means they must be good at least at the end chapters (basic self improving on writting); or entirely good if there is a team of proofreaders/editors backing up the autor.
5623378
GREAT! Now I know where I should add it to my "sequence of reading":
1. Original (mature) 5SDB4 story by TwistedSpectrum
2.a. Dust on the Wind by Sparky Brony
2.b. Dust on the Wind: Cloptional Parts by Sparky Brony
2.c. Dust on the Wind: Irony's Story by Phenrys
3. Five Score: A Velvet Nightfall by kitsy-chan
Anypony knows about other stories related to Dust on the Wind?
5634111
Sparky and phenrys are my team. I bounced my initial idea off both of them, from there started my bible, then my story with sparky being the best editor ever :)
5634153
Oh I also suggest the Last Crusade, the CMC story is 100% intertwined with the origional 5 score story.
5634466
If the Last Crusade [ by CyborgSamurai ] has a deep conection with the original 5 SCORE story (but not with the "DUST PACK" of sidefics); I will read it first as soon as I finished the main storyline. Thanks! =)
5636669
Hmm, i wonder if angel should have been cursed.
oh neck no, we don't need a DUST Bunny storyline.
5636669
Dust Pack... I like that, lol.
5621468
No, no we do not need a Dust Bunny, lol.
I am supper happy with this story it is devolving really strong and looks to get stronger. for a new author here on this site you are doing supper good Kitsy-chan I am so happy that sparky brony told me about this story.
now as to angel bunny I say throw him in your story for a short time, if only to throw him in a stew pot, sorry to say I down right hate him for the way he treats fluttershy.
Harts Fire
5636686
Discord: You like carrots, Angel? I'm playing your owner for a fool! [laughs] How d'ya like them carrots? ; Angel: [screams] ; Discord: [snaps fingers]
(From the actual, real Transcript of S3E10 "Keep Calm and Flutter On")
Plot twist: Angel becomes a carrot; in a forest/natural_reserve of Iowa for 25 years . . . xD
well part 11's to the editor, now to part 12. Have another doctors appointment today so not sure where i'll get to in part 12.
5641075 It isn't writing it that takes the time, its the editing right?
5641373
*grumbles* actually something i think reformatting just so it look right, with the Italics where they need to be, proper paragraph spacing and such, after i upload to here feels like it takes the longest.
My proof reader and editor Sparky is great, he gets things done for me very fast.
5641429 I would write, I just play too many video games.... I'm thinking of a five score side story, But I don't have any ideas yet.. or an editor or proofreader.
5641791
Come up with the idea first. Then start writing. When you have a few thousand words, then ask in the five score group if anyone is interested in proofreading and editing.
Also, I'll probably be willing to look at what you come up with, and if you ask him nicely, Sparky Brony might also.
5642511 Merci Beaucoup (thanks alot) for the advice!
5642515
Always glad to help An aspiring author.
BTW, kitsy, keep up the great work. I love what you're doing here, and the new blood you're injecting in Sparky's (as well as my own) story.
5642530
Thanks, I hope you enjoy the way wally as twilight, as well as velvet in the past are turning out as characters.
5641791
5 score is a "personal commentary" an exploration of how each person adapts to the change in their lives, as well as how the world around them changes.
5 score the person in general, lives up to their cutie mark before the change, a musical cutie mark may have a love for music as a human, but they may have found themselves turned from their cutie mark love in their human lives.
By this, you can either start with the human side... Say a police detective... then decide which pony fits the personalty you've created for the detective... or the other way around.. Choose a pony, say braeburn, then decide in the human world what would a person with braeburns drive do, what would they become...
its not easy at times, but you can sort through the MLP wiki looking at ponies and their backgrounds.
5642598 Thank you also!
5642602
Example, the original 5 score story has berry punch walk in with pinchy on her back... berry and pinchy were sisters before their change. Berry had been walking for miles. to get to the apples farm...
So you have the set up for a side story, 2 sisters, and how they delt with the change and made it to the apple farm. the hardships they went through.
5642598
5642515
Is also easier, or harder depending on your view, to do this with an OC, as you get to adjust the personality to what you're looking for.
5641429 I try to get things done in a timely manner, but I'm also wrapped up in writing myself.
5634215 thanks so much for the compliment, I do try.
5642511 I've got a full plate with writing Dust, and editing velvet, though I can pre-read and provide some commentary, but full editing... Not at this time. Lol
Well that's part 12 done, that one was painful. Took a lot out of me to write. Time to get something to eat, and start on part 13.
woot, part 13 only took a day to write, but its another long one, bout 5200 words.
So far, so good!
Cannot wait to see if Twilight Velvet and Rainbow Blaze actually get to meet their families (Twilight Sparkle, Night Light, and Shining Armor for Twilight Velvet and Rainbow Blaze's daughter, Rainbow Dash).
I'm sure Twilight Velvet was proud of her foals' accomplishments. Twilight Sparkle went from filly to personal student of Princess Celestia to alicorn Princess, and Shining armor ended up becoming head of the Royal Guards and marrying Princess Cadence.
5658563
Shining armor ended up becoming head of the Royal Guards and marrying Princess Cadence.
To falling in love with Rarity, to breaking up with Cadence, to marrying Rarity.
Interesting note, in the 5 score story original, there was no mention of velvet or nightlight coming through the portal for rarity and shinings wedding.
right you are on all points Kitsy-Chan velvet and R B are not in any of the story's I have read.
this story is really starting to shape up as a super story. do keep up the good work.
Harts Fire
5658961 That really bothered me about the whole rarity/shining armor thing in the five score story. I mean, at least try to have a reconciliation with shining and cadence...but this is set in an alternate reality.
Cannot wait to see how Velvet and rainbow blaze eventually end up meeting their respective children or pony spouses.
5659274
Yeah, though at the same time i wonder if Shinning ever got his memories back. He was scared to get them back because he was scared he'd find out he loved cadence more then rarity.
Rarity, twilight, and such, yeh, they would have gone for their old memories in a heartbeat. Because their old memories didn't affect their lives per say. And to twilight, it was dozens of new spells. insantly learning dozens of new spells? She wanted her memories back before the battle.
The only ones who would have problems are those, that made relationships before hand. Those that married and had kids as humans, or those that were scared of their past and what they might find out. Poor sweetiebelle must have been so busy for the first few days after the battle.
I can't believe you went there, lol.
5668645
Hey, i gave a TOS quote and a TNG quote.
5668666 You are getting these chapters out fast which is awesome!
the treckey in me is smiling with the quotes,
but the brony in me is super excited with the new chapter exultant work K-C I can see how you are working the different information from this story to directly link up with dust on the wind.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/199452/dust-on-the-wind
I will throw a little chaligon to the readers find the reference point between the two story's.
Harts Fire