• Member Since 29th Apr, 2012
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Harasha the Gryphon


as my name implies I'm a gryphon I like MLP fiction :) I like all kinds of pony tf from ponification to five score's nice slow tf hope you enjoy my work as much as I might enjoy yours

T
Source

Life for Amethyst shard was normal, more or less. He spent his life studying and searching for magical artifacts. Until one day when he found a cursed figurine that changed him into a mare. Now not only does he have to work on a cure, he also has to learn how to live as a mare.

cover art by http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Samaru163

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 95 )

I read it later.

Lab

Not bad, but could use some editing and trimming.

Interesting beginnings.

Will keep a eye on this.

Okay, I read it now. I like it! Keep going! :twilightsmile:

I like Amesthyst. He's a very interesting character. Though how one finds enough mysterious artifacts just outside of town to run a shop selling them is itself a mystery. Asides that it seems like he's got a pretty good head on his shoulders. <3 his comment on the off-key mare. :rainbowlaugh:

Looks like you left a bit of editors notes thare at the end other than that good chapter

4021983

thank you for pointing that out

I like it. Let's how "Lavender Star" manage now her daily life!:twilightsmile:

Cute. Not too over the top. The bus scene reminded me of my downtown city transit center.

My guess is Amethyst didn't just get turned into a mare. He got turned into a mare by a fertility idol. Now he's a real mare's mare, if you know what I mean. And what I mean is really attractive. And horny. A good combination if you're looking to get knocked up. Not such a good combination if you're a former stallion who knows nothing about being a mare and just wants this fixed so he can go back to being a shut-in without worrying about getting fucked by his roommate. Not many women, er, mares can orgasm from penetration alone. Not many can orgasm at all. Some too uptight, some just insensitive down there. But not Amethyst, nope. She's got it better than she ever imagined, or wanted, or asked for.:trollestia:

4022312 You need another look-over for Chapter 2. There are some formatting quirks here and there:(Some of the punctuations don't have a space between them and the new sentence.)

...Why buses? Technology wise, this is inconsistent with the level shown in the show. Maybe a further explanation of busses, perhaps being like multi-person chariots.

Amethyst nodded. “I work for the Canterlot archives, so I travel a lot. I‘m here to visit my brother, Amethyst shard, we‘re twins.”
"Amethyst shard"
"shard"

....He missed some things...What...

Hmm. Interesting. I likes.

I have one problem with this though. I always find third person gender bender fics work better if you refer to the character by their current sex. Simplified, I would refer to Amethyst as 'her' as soon as he bacame a she.

Just my five cents worth

:twilightsmile: Awesome! Can't wait to read the next chapter!

This deserves a comment, scrumptious seems to be a awesome pony. Glad ame found a possible new friend

If possible I'd like to see some longer chapters, feels a bit short.

I think the decision to skip the bulk of the clothes shopping was wise, but... I kinda feel something was missing as well. Maybe more about why Orchid is so gun-hoe about giving Amethyst the proper 'Mare experience' (her reasons feel a little off, like there's got to be more to it) or maybe just more encounters with other ponies. Not necessarily anything big, maybe just a bit of sassy dialog between Orchid and River as Orchid flashes back to the exasperating shopping experience with Amethyst and his choices in clothing. also maybe a bit of him defending said choices without revealing why he choose them.

I think some more little things like those would help, give the story a bit more to it.

Oh and Amethyst meeting Scrumptious Delight was just about perfect. I can't think of a better-way to introduce him, show what he's about, and tease with new scenarios...

Whether he ends up as a friend or romantic interest :duck:

I'm enjoying this story so far. Nice classic TG fiction. Hits the conventions (but not to hard), and doesn't feel overly contrived.

Heh, just wait until Orchid hears about this.

Now watch as Amethyst ends up causing something else to happen to herself by touching the wrong thing in the laboratory.

Though I do have a distaste for major coincidental conveniences such as suddenly finding where the book is as soon as you need it, for both the sake of the story and the pace you brought it along at, I figure you pulled it off pretty well.

Still don't know if the sex tag belongs on this, but considering the position she's found herself in both with Misty and all the stallions, I would say I don't think I'll be disappointed with where that goes xP

4533727 Hey! How've you been doing?

4550724 I agree. They scenes in it seemed a bit rushed.

Ok, stories like this aren't usually my thing, but now that I've taken a look, I feel the need to see how it ends.

Misty learned fom his ways and rescued amythyst \0/ from lust filled stallions

Good Chapter. Interesting to see things from Misty's perspective.

It's interesting, when you look at the way women disrespect each other in that whole territorial haggling and mind games, and how men rarely participate in such things, making their battles overt and physical, when I see a man who's a huge womanizer that lends credence to the notion that he's a woman in a man's body. You'd think a man swollen in conquests with women draped over his shoulder would be the epitome of manhood and not at all womanly, but to travel from partner to partner like that takes a certain inability to respect them, and the complex social wrangling and mind games needed to juggle successful relationships quickly is something normally partaken by a feminine mind. Sowing his oats wild and freely, always judging the women he takes to bed, never quite satisfied with who he finds. The answer may be that he's unknowingly, subconsciously, searching for himself instead. Or, herself, as the case would be.

It's just a mental state that works better with a pussy than with a dick.

What's tragic is since this body dysphoria keeps him from settling on a sexual partner, and accidents happen, this ends up being a viable way that his genes proliferate. And that means the next generation is going to have men who aren't men too, an endless cycle of silent suffering.

Eh, humans are complex. The exception to the rule is the norm and there are tons of misgendered people who don't fit this model at all. And tons of men who use women like disposable tissues without feeling insecure of their manhood. It's just interesting when you find the one who can't settle down, instead of won't, because the only girl who's right for him is the one who's stuck inside him. That usually makes it harder to find sexual partners, but sometimes it doesn't, and I find that fascinating.

What I'm trying to say is MISTY IS GAY HURRR :twistnerd:

Curious. I'll have to keep reading. It'd be funny if it turns out that statuette was intended to be a joke on said Princess or maybe she was a Prince before... :derpytongue2:

The drama just got real

Wait, so Misty date raped Orchid when she got smashed at a bar?

No no forget about his intentions towards Amethyst he WHAT Orchid when she WHAT at a WHAT??

You have to be a special flavor of asshole to do that to anyone I think. No wonder she's pissed at him.

I imagine Amethyst being transformed into a mare by a fertility idol as having more consequences than changing to a mare the ordinary way.

Wait, is there an ordinary way to change into a mare

I think this might be my favorite chapter yet. So much tension going on by the end of it. I do have one minor nitpik:

The unicorn smiled as she levitated a slice of the pizza up to her mouth “I just came here because somepony told me that the food was the best in town.” The unicorn took a bite as she looked over Amethyst. She continued to munch on her pizza. “Yeah this is good pizza.” Lyra’s voice was muffled by the mouthful of pizza.

This section is from Amethyst's perspective so saying the unicorn makes sense, but why mention Lyra's name at the end? We the readers might know, but ...

Lyra swallowed her pizza and examined Amethyst. “Hold on, haven’t we met somewhere before?”
“Not that I know of,” Amethyst replied, scratching his chin.

According to this, Amethyst can't remember her... so imo it should read "the unicorn's voice was muffled by a mouthful of pizza" since Amethyst hasn't recognized her yet.

4813084

Other than surgery? I don't think so...

Poor Misty. I hope Sunny sticks up for him.

4127110
Yeah, that. Seems like a lot of writers have that trouble. I imagine the pony equivalent of a bus would be a really nice carriage, or maybe a wagon with a roof to keep the rain off. Of course, they do have trains, pretty fancy ones too (MMM), so perhaps something even more bus-like is possible. -- Not lying to his roommate would probably have helped. After all, 'Amethyst's Sister' is fair game at some level (by Misty's measure, anyway, I assume) in the sense that she's an unattached mare free to make her own decisions and it wouldn't really be Amethyst's business to stop her (protect, maybe, prevent her from doing something no), whereas 'Amethyst transformed into a mare isn't exactly'. He might be a mare now, along with the physical reality of such, but his personality/thoughts probably aren't that much different.

4055415
That would be humorous, if only for giggles.

With a quick tug and a grunt, the violet mare was on his back. Orchid stood over him, smiling down as a blush appeared over Amethyst’s face.

“Heh, can’t blame a guy for trying?”

I realize it would be a little confusing, but shouldn't the narrator refer to "him" as 'her' since Amethyst is now a mare?

Honestly, I'm all for these sorts of things being permanent, barring an enchantment that transforms mares into stallions. That is, no counter-spell, but a second transformation would do it. Of course, who knows whether you'll be exactly the same on the other side.

P.S.
Dude might as well get used to being a mare. Artifacts are dangerous like that. It'd be humorous if someone had created an artifact to turn stallions into mares either for evil, villainous reasons or maybe just to balance a stallion heavy population in the past.

4198706
Yeah, me too. Honestly, Orchid should be calling her Lavender too because otherwise he'll never get it down. And it's unlikely she's whispering in Lavender's ear.

I wonder what he'd do if he was stuck permanently. I mean, she'd have to "return"T to Canterlot and somehow not have anyone notice that her brother went missing and/or that she doesn't actually have a job/home in Canterlot.

4297722
I find the whole 'going female' stuff ridiculous. I think before this transformation he'd have acted the same way if he found a mare he liked and a similar situation had occurred. Of course, his work/obsession likely would have ensured that such a scenario never occurred. Also, as Lavender she may be more prone to sharing emotions and the reasons behind them then Amethyst would have in the same situation (i.e. he might have cried a little bit at recognizing his older sister, but he wouldn't have admitted that to a fellow guy much less admitted to the reasons). I wouldn't treat it as all that serious of a change really, at least not one that would have otherwise been impossible, just a new experience of sorts.

4813084 Transformation spell a la Season 4 episode: "It's not easy being Breezie" should do it.

There seems to be a lot of effort at times to make Amethyst anti-being a mare and yet the rest time he seems to be enjoying it rather a lot. It's a bit confusing. It's almost like he's trying to reject something that doesn't have much to do with Orchid trying to expose him to certain things. An example of this is that instant switch from delirious happy to complaining about a hooficure. That seems inconsistent. If it was really so great, then he should have happily gone on to the next thing I would think. Complaining afterward if it was a letdown, or if it had been mindlessly irritating and taken long enough for the 'massage high' to wear off would make more sense to me.

Aside from the seeming contradictions noted above, the scenes where's he off doing the things that are initially associated with him read as being kind of filler-y because of how little focus/attention is paid to it. It seems of less concern to him based

And don’t say it’s because you’re trying to keep my cover, I’ve learned enough these past few days to know that I probably would have passed fine for a mare without all of these so-called lessons.

Is it me or has he been doing a pretty mediocre job of acting like a mare? I think that, excepting plot machinations, someone should totally have caught on/been real suspicious thus far. It's awfully convenient that he's managed not to bump into Misty or anyone who would form serious casual links from mare that bears a strong resemblance to Amethyst, not to mention that identical cutie marks are probably pretty rare.

Also, anyone else think that Orchid likes Amethyst?

5155603

Well, I sure don't think the main 6 turned into breezie stallions!

Wait

i.imgur.com/Go9skfB.jpg

HOLY SHIT

5156620 I'm more inclined to believe Breezies are hermaphroditic due to them not having any noticeable distinguishing features...but if you know what that picture is based on, can you tell me?

5157347

Every time a breezie was identified as male, he would have round eyes, and every time a breezie was identified as female, she would have lens shaped eyes. There wasn't any other difference exclusive to either gender, including eyelashes, so people just figure that eye shape must be the only way to tell male and female breezies apart.

except the main 6 of course who turned into weird mutant looking breezies because branding is holy scripture. which ironically makes half of them qualify as male, and nobody knows what the hell Fluttershy's breezie eyes would imply.

5158330 You got a pic for that? I kind of thought it had something to do with eyes, but I wasn't quite certain.

5158660

Besides the one I linked? You just have to watch the episode and listen for when they use "he" or "she" pronouns when talking about breezies. Anyway, it's a silly crack theory it's not supposed to make sense.

Also when Seabreeze hugs his wife.

5158816 Naw, I mean Fluttershy as a breezie. I can't seem to find too many good ones. A few are okay, but the shot is messed up. Can see her eyes, but the legs are practically fused together. But if your theory is accurate about Breezie eyes she'd be male, huh?

5158862

The pic I linked has Fluttershy as a breezie... fimfiction just crops it out. She has her regular pony eyes. Or she has the eyes of a weird extragendered breezie, depending on how much crack you've inhaled.

Comment posted by StormyVenture deleted Oct 21st, 2014
Comment posted by StormyVenture deleted Oct 21st, 2014
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