5585685 I'm gonna have to agree with Ether Echoes on this one. While I don't agree with him being a little bit mean, I do have to say, artistic choice or not, you MUST conform to the historical nuances and have a base knowledge of what you're writing. You cant write and old english speaker, and not have him speak old english. It just doesn't work like that. Take for instance, if you were to have a japanese person show up in Equestria. Would they speak English just cus you decided to have it be so due to artistic license? uh, no, that aint gonna fly, You have that japanese character talk in japanese for the entire story because he speaks japanese where he comes from, not english. Now, that doesn't mean you cant get that japanese character to speak english, language spells that change his tongue to english would be perfectly reasonable, because this is equestria, land of magic and sorcery.

I'm sorry if this is a little harsh, but you simply cannot abuse artistic license like this and hand wave the issue of an old english speaker not speaking old english. Sorry :(

5585657 Look man, I apologize for your depression as I too suffer from it, and so do most reasonably intelligent folks, as a side effect of being smart but I have to say one thing, and this might hurt your feelings: Grow up. I'm sorry if I come off as mean, but if you;re going to be a writer, you MUST deal with harsh critics and learn to cope with having your story ripped to shreds and nitpicked, its just part of being a writer. You cant ignore criticisms and nitpicks, just because they are mean, otherwise youll never grow as a writer. Does that give people permission to be dicks? Aboslutely not, but you cant just ignore relevant feedback because its condescending or harsh. Often times, its better to have people who will smash your story apart and make you feel like shit, as it gives you a drive to make your story better and improve your writing. However, the best case scenario are those people who give helpful feedback, while encouraging you. Sadly, this is a lot rarer than you might think, while most people either just say they like it, not giving you any feedback, or say they hate it and do the exact same, leaving you hurt and confused. Its a tough situation to be in, trust me.

Also, standing up for yourself and your story has nothing to do with any of this. You contemplating whether or not your story is worth being told is A GOOD THING, because I hate to break it to you, NOT all stories are worth being told, and even fewer taken note of. I've had several stories I gave up on and rewrote entirely because they were garbage and not worth anyone's time, and you know what, I'm a stronger person and a better writer for it.

Finally, just because a lot of people believe in something or say its good and right, doesnt make it true. You'd be surprised at how many people think the Earth is flat still. Are they right? Hell no. Are there a lot of them? Unfortunately.

I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings, but as a depressed person to a depressed person, I will say this: Happiness is highly overrated.

I wish you all the best in your writing endeavors, and in your life.

Oh my God! Mister! Are you okay

Uh... isn't usually "Oh my Celestia"?

5586158 Happiness is overrated huh? Must be a sad life you live.... well besides your depression. If may ask, have you ever hit the gym?

5586448 Yes i actually mantain a relatively healthy life style. What people don't seem to understand is that happiness isn't the greatest thing in the world. I'm far more pleased and fulfilled being sad and intelligent than I would be, were I ignorant and blissful. I'm not saying you are those things, but happiness is not the end all factor everyone should strive for. Indeed, it is just the way of certain individuals throughout history to ignore the basic human concepts that we should all strive for. 1,000 years ago it was to start a family, today, it is generally speaking, in the free world, the pursuit of life, love, liberty, and most importantly happiness. I have no desire to attain a mate, no desire to be loved, no interest in being happy, nor do I fear death should I die this second. Liberty I do enjoy, and that is the one exception to the facets I still heed.

I am an odd person, and to those who cannot understand a life beyond happiness, there is no understanding people like me. I'm not trying to say one is better than the other, simply different. I have a world view and philosophy that is so different from most people, there isn't a simple answer to be had when trying to understand me; only thing I can really say is that happiness is highly overrated.

Interpret it as you will, there is no explaining to be had, at least none that I currently have the time or desire to delve into, lest this post become a wall of text.

Good day sir, all the best to you :)

5586628 Oh. Well this may surprise you, but I agree with you. Pure, unadulterated happiness is not the endgame; it's a horrible end all be all. I can respect a man who is willing to think critically about their surroundings, engage in esoteric concepts and ideas, experiment with the world and take it in for all its' beauty, but I think you may be missing a crucial part to all this, this little game we play called life.

I personally believe that, in our very limited time here in this human concept of reality, we should accept life for all that is, take in life as you would a lover. I know you said you currently express no interest in finding a mate, but please hear me out. It's good and healthy to not live our lives as a pig in slop, devoid of all reasoning, analyzing, and thinking, but I don't think we should limit ourselves to this concept of only living in a cold, sad world of intelligence as you previously stated. That's comparing it to yokels who froth and clamor for the light, to expel all darkness from our lives and live in absolute sunlight. What these idiots don't understand is that if they got their wish, it would be the absolute saddest day of their entire lives. Why? Because now half the world is burning in a constant barrage of heat while the other half freezes over in darkness. But we don't live like that do we? We got the day and night cycle, the cycle in which one half needs the other half to survive. Same goes for the seasonal cycle, well, in fourths :P

So if this shit would destroy the world, why would you limit your emotions and concepts like this? Hell, we even came from the earth so we have some similarities. Again, it's asinine to chase after happiness like it's the light and that's all you need but it may not be healthy to subject yourself to the cold sting of sadness and doubt. Live the cycle, embrace your seasons, and just live. That's all we really can do.

Because when you get down to it, everything we do and everyone who will know it doesn't matter. All that we will see doesn't matter..... all those moments will be lost in time, like.... tears in rain. So just live and accept it for all that it is.

Or not. You do whatever the FUCK you wanna do!

5585685
Dont let critics get you down. I refuse to believe that there is such a thing as a story that shouldn't be told. After reading the first 2 chapters, the only thing wrong that I can see is that he doesnt speak Ye Olde English and my thought is, "so what?". Yes I understand that for some people it takes away the immersion but things like that have never bothered me. My advice would be to take the problems they have with your story and fix them but only if it feels right for the story your trying to tell.

And never stop writing because:

5587455 You're right. Thank you. I ended up adjusting the first chapter to have him and Olivia be from the 18th century, which does feel better as I see Arthur sort of like a wimpy Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean, but my original idea did have him from earlier, so I'm not sure. I'll let the story tell me where he's supposed to be from.

Thank you so much. You really made me feel better.

Hmmm, this story is interesting. With rainbow saying he fainted like a pussy. I don't see her saying that.
Twilight wearing royal stuff? We know she doesn't wear anything like that, only special occasions with her crown.
And with the hinting of the flashlight. Not many people would like that. But I don't mind it.
Other than that, i like the story, keep on going.

“Arthur R-Ravenot... madam.”

I'm expecting a pun where he says "I'm not mad, my name IS Rave not after all!".

"She seemed to be wearing dark purple eyeshadow."

On a wholly unrelated note, Avon, for several years, sold an eyeliner labeled "Twilight Sparkle." (I have a couple of them on my desk.) It is a bit sparkly, but it's more of a Rarity blue.

5589342 Wow, that's funny.

Any changes to the Mane 6 such as dynamics and how they carry themselves will be explained throughout the story, so if you're confused as to why Twilight is wearing make-up now, that'll be explained.

If history taught us anything, it is that the English can conquer pretty much anything.

This guy has got this.

Enjoying the story so far, and if people are bitching about characters acting slightly out of character, they clearly haven't been on this site long.

God...spikes an ass