0 reads and 7 likes. I think the counting system is borked again

5576162 or just over eager viewers? :D

Interesting story. I hope there's more chapters coming soon.

Ah, Discord, you've done it again.

Big thing that I get from the description alone, you have your OC from a specific timeline but don't have him speaking like it. Cognitive dissonance?

At the start of the chapter, the OC is speaking modern english instead of Middle English or Chancery Standard. Completely ruins the "I'm from the past" vibe you were trying to get.

5576501 Yeah, I'm not really good at capturing the feel of someone from the past. I'll hopefully get better overtime.

5576170 Hey, I'm not complaining. That means they'll take a look. Human in Equestria seems to be popular.

Interesting.

5576891 oh most definatly :3

Very, very well written. I can already see this will be a new favorite for me, so I've taken the liberty of officially favoriting it already. I can't wait to read the next chapter!

Surprisingly enough for a television show, Sleepy Hollow features some very nice Middle English.
It sounds like it is, the inbred child of Teutonic and early French as raised by its crazy Anglo-Saxon uncle.

nice start, ill definably be keeping an eye on this read. also i forgot how much of a prick the church was at that time, so now i feel like i need punching something :/

The human character holds alot of promise, i shall follow this tale!

I know it may be a lot to ask, but could I get an estimate on how long you plan to make this story, word-wise?
~TOOWC

5579813 I'm not even sure how long it will be. I hope to make t a full length story, but this is my first HiE story ever, so I'm not sure.

5579857 Hmm. Well, thank you.

“Argh! I can't create anything!” she shouted slamming his book closed.

5580506 Thank you for catching that. I'll correct it immediately.

never thought that I would discover the answer to that question, yet here I am. This world seems to be like Earth, only the inhabitants are all multicolored ponies, the largest ones seeming to come up to my shoulders. These ponies are very intelligent, able to speak perfect English

A man from Plantagenet-era England is saying that our ponies are speaking perfect English? In the 15th century they were speaking Middle English. Here's some un-updated Chaucer:

Whan that Aprill with his shoures soote
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour
Of which vertu engendred is the flour,
Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halve cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
That slepen al the nyght with open ye
(so priketh hem Nature in hir corages),
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages,
And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes,
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;
And specially from every shires ende
Of Engelond to Caunterbury they wende,
The hooly blisful martir for to seke,
That hem hath holpen whan that they were seeke.

Is that what they sound like?

Wait - Wales, London: 1542 AD.

What.

What.

Okay:
1542 is not the 15th century, it is the 16th. That puts the language in Early Modern English, at least.

Second, London is a city and Wales is not a location in it. Wales is a country subordinate to the United Kingdom (then called the Kingdom of England), it's located on the west coast of Britain, far from London. Here, let me show you:
google.com/maps/vt/data=U4aSnIyhBFNIJ3A8fCzUmaVIwyWq6RtIfB4QKiGq_w,aQTDkdfllwE7QpZ2XY1l_BfQOSQPIVpKE8GPzrbbouXPyJQqINdxtUOhXVCUFd1CtatOohbotsDM3O3lB9Lcgnzn-eVi2gdrDGSEXpU_vjNC_5cFIl7-Tq7F8qMnmVA3mgUunhxxLktOblTmvPCGEv6B4lgFYzZjW20nCrEg-a9y3aAVwaa3VA53VRkbRPzhgrkLaCAdHe4Nyr29dA
If you'll look closely, you'll see London waaay over to the right of the big part of the map marked Wales.

The illness known as writer's block.

Writer's block as a thing was not cited in the OED until 1950, though examples of the use of the term "block" to denote a failure in writing creativity stretch back to 1890 at least... several centuries after your story.

It was a shame that although the world had moved into the later parts of the 15th century, Olivia insisted on staying in the early 14th century.

See my bit about the 15th century above. The 15th century covers the 1400s and the 14th the 1300s. Though I should really find it remarkable that a man of Henry VIII's generation gives a farthing for the opinions of a woman.

As such, though they had been engaged for the better part of a month, and had been together for almost two years, they hadn't once made love, nor had he ever seen her naked.

Something that should surprise no one given that they are both Christians living in one of the most prudish kingdoms on the planet at the time. I should note that a member of the educated class breaking courtship often risks angering his parents because of the massive financial matters involved, but that's minor.

Okay, he understood her reasoning behind it before he asked for her hand in marriage, but most people didn't even believe that they were a couple anyway, so it wasn't like they'd get the church's attention.

A woman who had the reputation of allowing herself to be touched in such a way at the time was lucky if her parents didn't throw her out onto the streets as a whore. A man had best learn to speak French because he sure won't find much in the way of business if people think he has a reputation as a philanderer.

Olivia had mentioned her distaste for his choice in career, insisting that he get a “normal” job. He wasn't good at anything else though, he didn't work well with others, and his stamina was lack luster. He knew that deep down Olivia wanted a “true” man. Rather than search for said man, she seemed intent on molding Arthur into that man.

Precisely what class is he in? How exactly is he employed as a writer? Is he a writer of chapbooks or belles leitres? Is he perhaps a playwright? That's a well-respected position for a successful man, even if acting wasn't.

Arthur decided to make his first stop on his leave to be France. He managed to catch the last ferry leaving Wales for France, where he planned to meet up with his brother Matthew.

You're sticking with his origins as a Welshman, are you? Can he talk tidy? Does he have any connections to the Tudor dynasty who by and large were founded by Welshmen? Does he hate the English with a burning passion?

He had moved to France once before, and he told Arthur that he could show up anytime if he needed a change in his environment.

Oh sure, nothing like hopping on a stagecoach and climbing aboard a ship (which, by the way, would not be a mere "ferry") from England to France while they're in the middle of a war.

Nothing like someone using a historical setting who doesn't even know how to Google or use Wikipedia to glean the least information about his chosen era.

5576501
Early Modern English would be the relevant one in this time period, I believe. His error in marking it as the 15th and not the 16th century.

Here's a sample from 1602, a mere 60 years later:

The English speach doth still encroche vpon it [Cornish], and hath driuen the same into the vttermost skirts of the shire. Most of the Inhabitants can no word of Cornish; but very few are ignorant of the English. Richard Carew

The Survey of Cornwall (1602)

HOWEVER, as a Welshman, our protagonist should sound more like this:

Westerne man saith Chud eat more cheese an chad it.

A Restitution of Decayed Intelligence (1605)

5585299
5585605 I'm going to make a note of this in the next chapter, but as I can't see myself writing all of that old English for this character as I don't even fully understand it, I'm intentionally writing him like this. It's an artistic choice, and lots of writers use it.

5585632
The Old (or rather Early Modern) English translation isn't what bothers me, it's the implication that the English they're speaking on the show is the same kind as the one they spoke in 16th century England. Hell, when you get to it, the ponies are far and away more advanced than his society is, given their industrial technology, electricity, and sky-rise apartments.

What really offends me, though, is the complete and utter disregard for even the most basic of historical facts. You don't get the century right, you don't get the location right, you don't get the culture right – you don't get anything right.

What you should have done is made this a modern story, set it in LA because you obviously know nothing about England, had Olivia be a Christian conservative, and what's-his-face flees to his brother's place in Compton or something.

This is leaving aside the fact that your story has no characterization to speak of, a piss-poor plot, pedestrian writing, and basically no redeeming features.

5585639 I did realize that I need to adjust the century, but if you feel that offended by it, you don't have to read it. Lots of other people like it, and are following it. I've had a number of people give me reviews like this and make me feel bad about a good story, and I'm not going to let anyone make me feel bad about this one. It's bad enough I've been dealing with a lot of depression, I'm not going to stand for someone nitpicking my story like this, simply because it makes me question if my story is even worth telling.

If I seem immature or thin skinned about it, I'm sorry, but I'm standing up for myself and my story.

5585657
Nitpicking, eh?

Okay, let's try an example of what I'm talking about:
Say I write a story where a Buddhist black man is becoming the President of the United States in 1656. His machinegun-toting bodyguards save him from a group of Islamic terrorists protesting the invasion of Italy, but they take the Dalai Lama hostage and demand the cessation of hostilities for his release.

Do you think you might have a few nits to pick with that story?

5585677 I'm not having this argument with you. I said my peace. You can either get over it, or leave the story. Your call.

*Raspberry*

It came from the yellow horse...

img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/ponies-clop-nsfw-1850030.png

5585677
As long as your saying its a story and not a recounting of history, I see no problem with that. Hell it sounds awesome actually. I'm guessing you absolutely HATE the move "A Knight's Tale". This is normally the part where I would make a witty and no offense ment remark about your story but damn it I just cant bring myself to say something bad about "Through the Well of Pirene" so....have a Derpy.

I lIke It. They dIdnt even gIve you constructive criticism. They were just being jerks. Keep it up.

This is rather interesting. A bit original than the usual "I wanna go to Equestria" plot. I can relate to the character alright, and that's always a good thing. Looking forward reading more of this.

5585677 ill be completely honest here and i actually am legitimately interested in reading what you have just laid out please write this, i promise ill only nit pic on grammar mistakes such as using 'a' when it should be 'an'. but seriously write what you have just written i wish to see it.

also to the author of this story, love it so far keep up the good work

First chapter was really good!

you get a like & fav from me! Continue on my good sir