The Secret Side Of Discord

by Lemon Pegasus

Outpost #1

"So, if we travel with enough speed, we should reach the first outpost in foal mountain before night." Laba explained, as they walked together. Discord, Starswirl, Laba, Spiral Dust, Chrysalis, Friar and two other ponies who's names were currently not known. Discord thought to himself, "what would be ideal names, for now?" Hmm... how about Chocolate Orange and Poison Ivy? Perfect! Might need some slight alterations when they were actually talking together, but until then, comedy gold!

"So uhm, we just... walk?" Discord asked, I mean sure they didn't have anything better to do, but what about eating? Drinking? Cleaning? Doing your business? And what about stuff for Starswirl to do, he's a foal, he needs entertainment and walking for a week straight isn't exactly fun!

"We walk, yes." Uhm... was that it? "As for food, drink, cleaning, doing your business and entertainment for the little guy, well... I don't really know." That was weird, can he read minds?

"There should be some rations at the outpost. Some firewood, water, tinned food and blankets."
"Hold on!" Discord just remembered, between Hollow Shades and Ponyville there is Foal Mountain, which he recalls being a nightmare to get over... "How will we get over Foal Mountain?"

"We'll go through it, not over it." Discord felt a chill go through him for a second there, as if a thousand Disney fans all screamed at him.
"There is a canyon we can cross through, one that's so thin it isn't written on all the maps of Equestria. It is in this canyon we'll find our first outpost, and hopefully those rations."

"And, if we're found? Celestia's secret ops are probably looking for us right now..." A certain draconequus carrying a certain foal asked.
"If we're found, well we'll just have to stick together and cast another invisibility spell until the coast is clear." Laba replied. Actually, that was a good idea...

Come to think of it, how much of this fan fiction have I wasted just stating that ponies were walking? ...Not enough!

The walk wasn't as repetitive or boring as treading through that infinite path that ran through Foal Mountain, the occasionally laughs of pony's conversations lifted morals, even if you had no clue what they were laughing about. A couple of ponies came to chat with Discord, Laba did, Chrysalis did, even Chocolate Orange!

"So, what's your name?" Discord asked him.
"Well, my name is--"
"No, don't tell me," Discord was going to make the guess of a lifetime, "is it Terry?" I feel your face palms, bronies!
"No." Damn!

"My name is Sam Blue." Though his name didn't resemble his orange fur, or his black mane, it did match his cutie mark, which was some blueprints. "It matches my talent, which is in design, particularly mechanics." It was nice talking to Sam, even if his sense of humor was questionable.

"Hey, what do you call a pony with a plank on his head?" Sam asked Discord.
"Uhm, I don't know." Discord replied, preying for a reply that wasn't the least funny thing he ever heard.
"Edd Wood!" Discord internally face palmed. "What do you call a pony with two planks on his head?"
"I... don't know!" Here came round two...
"Edd Wood Wood!" What? "What do you call a pony with three planks on his head?"
Discord thought it was pretty obvious. "Edd Wood Wood Wood?" he guessed.
"Yes!" Score one for Discord. "What do you call a pony with four planks on his head?" Unbelievable...
"Edd Wood Wood Wood Wood?"
"Well, I don't actually know." How could he not know the answer to his own joke? "But I bet Edd Wood Wood Wood would!" Oh my Celestia...

Sam was laughing out loud at this point, Discord thought it was pretty funny, he just mildly laughed. Starswirl sat in Discord's arm with his head in his hoof, head bouncing as if he was laughing, but no sound. He couldn't even laugh? Was something wrong? Discord raised Starswirl's chin with his finger, who looked up at him and grinned, before planting the side of his face into Discord's chest. Clearly, he was feeling just fine. Come to think of it, Laba was a doctor, maybe he could have a look at Starswirl?

"Well, there it is," Laba announced. Discord looked up, not even realizing that while that joke was being told, he was walking straight for an enormous mountain, with a large crack growing straight down the middle, only wide enough for single file. "I'll go in first, Discord can you go last? It's just that, you're more intimidating than us, so..." Discord took that as a compliment!

"Sure, mum!" The group laughed at this, and one by one, they crept through the small path that was this so called "canyon." The sides of the rock were littered with varying colors from all the layers of stone, and many fossils were lodged into the faces, as well as a number of roots.

"The outpost isn't too far through hear, just keep going forward. Not that you'll get lost when there's only one route..." Friar announced, in a voice that was similar to that of one of those TV cooks who yell at people because their chicken was burnt on 1% of it's surface.

It was a good thing too! Discord didn't want to have to walk through here for much longer, his skin constantly brushing against the rough rock face, the dry air, the rocks that constantly stuck into his feet. Not just that, but he was kinda thirsty! Odds are, he wasn't the only one! He swore Starswirl licked his fur a couple of times...
It was getting dark as well, a number of times there was a change in the rock face that meant you couldn't see the pony in front of you.

"We're here," Laba announced. "And look at that, rations!" What a relief, Discord was looking forward to rest after all that walking, not to mention the raid...

Laba stood outside a simple hole in the rock face, signalling the group inside. "Plenty of room, everyone in, before it's so dark ponies start smooching while we can't see them." Discord was last to enter, other than Laba who followed afterwards. The room was... very large, actually! There was easily enough space in the rounded center of the cave to sit every pony, plus space for a fire. The roof seemed to travel upwards into a winding chimney so smoke could escape. There were passages on either side of the walls, which Laba announced to be toilets.

"Stallions on the right, mares on the left. There is extra room for sleeping up this slope," he pointed to a sloping path which led into another room, "I'll break into the rations and we can have a rest." Laba used his magic to crack open a large wooden box, revealing gallons of water in large plastic barrels, as well as canned food and blankets. There were also dry logs and a tinderbox, and a pot for cooking the food in. In another, smaller box there was plates and cutlery as well as water bottles and a.. combat knife? ...Well, better to be prepared...

The whole group sat and exchanged stories as the canned food boiled over a crackling fire, which illuminated the room in a warm, bright light. Starswirl's face glowed in reflection to the flames, Discord's just sat and watched the fire burning away. The bottle of water he was given was downed quickly, and his thirst was now quenched. Starswirl drunk much slower, but still thirstily. Toddler ponies could hardly chug down drinks, could they?

"Order up," Laba started preparing food onto plates with forks "there should be plenty of food for every pony to refuel their energy for tomorrow." Discord couldn't be happier to have a plate of pasta and beans handed to him, and although it might sound bland, it tasted great after such a bad series of events. The group was silent as they ate, all of them in bliss, Starswirl also looked to be enjoying his meal, even if a stray bean made it on top of his muzzle...
Discord was tired, ever pony looked tired.

"Sleepy time?" He asked.
"Sleepy time." Laba replied, as he started handing out blankets and small cushions. Discord reveled in the fact that Starswirl abandoned his quilt for Discord's personal comfort, walking over to him and lying beside him, head facing Discord's heart. It was a reviving moment, seeing everypony refueled with food and water, all warm thanks to the fire, all restful as they lay they under quilts. The moment lasted all the way until Discord finally closed his eyes and... wait for it... fell asleep.