• Member Since 3rd Nov, 2011
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Evowizard25


Sequels1

E

This story is a sequel to A Different Sunset


Pizzelle has always wanted a child. She wished and pleaded to the stars above, but no answer. Now, she has it in the form of a little Kitsune.

Of course, raising a completely different species that is renowned for mischief is not easy. Not to mention the danger of being exposed to too much cuteness.

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 183 )

Dear Evowwizard.

What ho, it would appear that rolls have been reversed, and tis I giving my thoughts on your work. Too bad it's to a sequel that I have no prior knowledge too...crap. But fear not, I've picked up on the essential details and thus shouldn't be hindered in my reading ( though I might have to go back and read it's predecessor). So far you have piqued my interest, thus earning you a like, and a favorite.

Sincerely Yours, The Cake Devil.

5524904 I'm honored that you would take the time to read my work. I love your stuff and am a big fan. I do so hope you find this and the other story good and all of it's like to come for the Shimmerverse.

Interesting premise, I like that the priestesses are expected to care for orphans. Will Aki need kitsune to teach him how to use his powers?

5532271 Well yes in a way, unicorns can cast illusions, but kitsune do it naturally. A unicorn could teach him, but it would be flawed in aspects.

5532295 Interesting. Could he be tutored by a changling? They are masters of illusion after all. Or transmutation, depending on your headcanon.

I've gotten this verse confused with the other one, are Pegasi omnivorous here? If not, who will teach him to hunt? If they are, does Pizzelle make delicious meat pies?

5532346 Pegasi are omnivores, whereas kitsune are carnivores. So yes, she'll be aware of it.
A changeling could very well teach him. They pretty much have knowledge and a least the fundamentals of every race hardwired into their heads. It's just that changelings aren't common in a lot of Equestria.

5532363 Awesome, I anticipate adorable hunting trips then. At least in this verse, we know what farmers do with their pigs then.

1. teen story
2. everyone story
3.?????

5536393 this is rated for everyone and its a sequel to a story that is rated teen.

5536405 Well yeah, but that story involved a lot of dark themes. While this universe is darker than canon, most of the stories will be of a more 'light-hearted' theme. I mean, this is a story about a mare trying to be a mother. There isn't anyway I can make this 'dark' without stepping over a boundary I don't want to.

God damn, I didn't realise this fic was out. Welp, time to get reading! I'll post my thoughts on it later

5539810 Can't wait to hear them. :pinkiehappy: I'm working on chapter 2 as we speak. Hopefully, I can finish by next week.

Well, I read it. And... there's nothing to talk about. Really, it's an intro chapter with nothing new happening in it. Sure, Pizzelle and Redheart were in character and we get some nice callbacks to the whole Nightmare Moon shtick, but that's pretty much it. I'll have to wait till we're actually at the part where Pizzelle adopts (and obviously keeps because I'm sorry I made it that way in my fic) Hikaru before I can give a better review

And don’t think I haven’t tried. Celestia knows I have

HOW OLD IS PIZZELLE?! I was under the impression that she's at most eighteen or twenty. So this sorta messes up my mind!

5543635 Pizzelle keeping Hikaru was always going to happen. I mean, I kind of made it obvious.
She isn't that old. While one of the older members, I'd say around that range, maybe a tad bit older. Equestrians are legal at sixteen years of age, so that would give her a few years of attempts.

5543677 Phew! Thank god. For a moment there I thought something entirely different... Wait, is she married? Because I don't think she is and OH GOD PIZZELLE WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

5543699 Divorced...It didn't work out.

I love the kitsune adorableness. Oh, so very adorable. If he's a carnivore, why's he eating a PBJ?

Also, the filly Bon Bon story was cute as well.

5564072 ....DOH!....Eh, PB and J's are just so awesome that everyone can have it, no exceptions. {Weak excuse is weak.} Either way, we didn't 'see' him eat it, so...I'll watch myself in the future.

5565008 Maybe Equestrian jelly is pig lard or something? Nothing is a 100% carnivore, Griffons eat cake after all.

5565110 I've seen dogs nibble on grass, so....You know what, I'm just going to change 'sandwich' to 'something'. That pretty much clears this whole thing up.

Daww, kids are adorable! Especially ones that fuck everything up :pinkiecrazy:

I think I can explain Pizzelle's character much better now, and why our writing styles for her are so different. I imagine she's like Button's mom, but we both focus on different aspects of her personality. I focus on the kid-friendly and playful side, while you focus more on the motherly and mature side. Cas in point, the amount of times she says "dear" in both of our stories.

however, despite Hikaru's cuteness, I'm afraid he's sorely lacking a personality. This doesn't affect an adventure story much because he's in the sidelines, but a slice of life? Yeah, that's gonna hurt the story.

Putting aside childishness and playfulness, Hikaru is a blank state. At least with the CMC, they each have their own distinct personalities. Apple Bloom is the most mature of the bunch, Scootaloo is the least patient and most likely to let ponies get under her skin, and Sweetie is the most prone to making terrible decisions and jealousy.

I can't wait to see how Pizzelle takes care of the situation. Will she finally cave in and ask for help or will she try her hardest? Here's hoping this duo makes for an iteresting story!

Daww, kids are adorable! Especially ones that fuck everything up :pinkiecrazy:

I think I can explain Pizzelle's character much better now, and why our writing styles for her are so different. I imagine she's like Button's mom, but we both focus on different aspects of her personality. I focus on the kid-friendly and playful side, while you focus more on the motherly and mature side. Cas in point, the amount of times she says "dear" in both of our stories.

however, despite Hikaru's cuteness, I'm afraid he's sorely lacking a personality. This doesn't affect an adventure story much because he's in the sidelines, but a slice of life? Yeah, that's gonna hurt the story.

Putting aside childishness and playfulness, Hikaru is a blank state. At least with the CMC, they each have their own distinct personalities. Apple Bloom is the most mature of the bunch, Scootaloo is the least patient and most likely to let ponies get under her skin, and Sweetie is the most prone to making terrible decisions and jealousy.

I can't wait to see how Pizzelle takes care of the situation. Will she finally cave in and ask for help or will she try her hardest? Here's hoping this duo makes for an iteresting story!

5566774 It is good to focus on different aspects of a character to show them as flexible, living beings. Helps build Pizzelle's character.

HIkaru's bland?....Huh, perhaps you won't think that by the end of this story.
And we shall see.:raritywink:

5567070
Well, that's the whole point of character interaction and growth! Though I am still terrified of the inevitable CMC appearances. Just... Oh god...

Quick question; :rainbowhuh:why, in all that is holy, is Lyra acting like a dog?

5641565 She was raised by Diamond Dogs.

5641709:unsuresweetie: I, guess that makes sense? Still, this is probably the first time I've heard she'd been raised by Diamond Dogs.

5641724 It was mentioned in the side story "A Different Sunset: The Battle for Ponyville"

5641737 :rainbowderp:Oh. I, uh, :fluttershyouch:didn't get around to read it yet. I was (and still am) too busy with other things to catch up. :trixieshiftright:It does sound pretty interesting though.

5641747 It was. I do need to get around to finishing it, but it's not a main concern. It's pretty much just little snidbits of what the Ponyville Guard were doing during the whole thing. Since the Ponyville scenes were bogging the story down. {And some people were complaining about them} I moved them over to another story.

5641753 Well, :rainbowdetermined2:I look forward to seeing it completed!

He hated nearly his own weight in pork

How does that even work?

You remember that episode in season 2, The Last Roundup? Also known as The Day Derpy Became Canon? Yeah, this chapter really reminded me of that episode. Why? Because Lyra. God damn Lyra. There was no way I could have predicted Lyra to act like a dog, no matter how insane she is. You sir, have managed to break my mind so hard that I'm still lost at the sheer beauty of Lyra acting like a dog, chasing after a red bouncy ball. Oh, Lyra. Sweet, crazy Lyra. Never change!

Oh, wait, the chapter?

Yeah, Angel is... surprisingly not that much of an asshole. Sure, he messed around with Lightning, but she's an idiot. And now he's taking care of Hikaru? Who are you and what have you done with the unbearable asshole we know and hate with every fiber of our being?!

5644686 Fixed.

I honestly did it because I thought it was hilarious. {And given how insane most people portray her, not too far fetched.}

Eh, let's just say that his master here is a lot more strict on him. He's still an arsehole. Remember, he was the bunny that scared the daylights out of Coco Pommel for the sole reason of lulz.

Interesting. I was sure Lightning would be the one to take him hunting. I like seeing Angel here, but I hope he realizes that since his mistress is an impartial nature goddess, in this universe if a predator tries to eat him, she's going to accept that, circle of life and all that.

Now I wonder more about Lightning's father, hopefully we hear more about him from Lightning or Redheart.

I like Lyra here, in many stories she loves humans, but it looks like in this one she's definitely been trained to be man's best friend! :trollestia:

Things just got kicked up a notch. I like grumpy Angel's point of view. In this fic, is he also immortal thanks to Fluttershy? Like, is he a rabbit she adopted 1000 years ago and gave immortality to?

The chaos mage I don't feel like I have the background on, it's kind of difficult to follow the story if the characters are referencing events from future stories.

I hope we get to see more of Hikaru and Pizelle together. It's really fun to read her dialogue, I feel like it's very original. When he said his mom encouraged him to prank ponies, did he mean his original mom, or Pizelle?

5691400 Angel isn't immortal. Celestia save the world if he was.:twilightoops: He's just a lucky rabbit Fluttershy took a shine to.

The chaos sorcerer hasn't appeared in any other fic as of now. This is his first appearance. He's pretty much going to be set up as season 1's recurring antagonist. So you don't have to worry about that with him. {As well, this is his only scene in this fic, but he'll be more prominent as time goes on.}

His original mom. Kitsune are natural tricksters, it's just that Hikaru is more so or at least didn't consider when it wasn't fair to stop the jokes. {Though he isn't one to go too far with them.} The next few chapters will have more interaction.

5691430 Cool. I can't wait to see him try and prank Pinkie!

A part of Angel didn’t know why he was following this little fox

Same here. Dude, Angel is likable. That is just creepy! But hey, at least he isn't Diamond Tiara. Angel's a cool bunny, I guess. So... go Angel!

Angel hopped out in front of him and waved his arms for the fox to stop. He didn’t. Instead, he ran him over.

Whoa, that has GOT to be one really cool butterfly! Or it's actually fueled by chaos and made Hikaru blind to the world around him. Either way, something's gotta be up with that butterfly! Calling it right now, that butterfly's really a huge plot point that we'll overlook!

If the cragadile in the river was going to snatch up the fox, so…………………..

..........
WELP!:twilightoops:

He closed his eyes and hoped the beast would eat the kid first. You know, give him a few extra seconds to think before his death.

To be fair, I'd probably be thinking the exact same thing if I were him. Because really, he's a kid. Kids are assholes.

“HA HA!” The unicorn shouted in glee. She pointed a ‘finger’ at the water. “I’z krumped ya gud an’ propa, you’z git. Dat’s how we Dogz do it. Wat’r ya gonna-”

And Lyra once again, steals the show. Man, she's gonna be a riot in the 100th episode, isn't she?

The cragadile simply close his eyes and mouth. The bolt did absolutely nothing against the beast’s scales.

“Shoot,” Lightning scowled. “That doesn’t work on cragadiles. Forgot about that. Oh well,”

I guess you could say it was:coolphoto:not really affective:yay:

“No, somepony has to scold you when you do something stupid.” Bon Bon held onto her sun medallion and pointed it at Lyra. With a few prayers, a golden light flowed over Lyra. Her injuries were all but gone.

Obviously, the White Mage just cast Curaga. Nothing new, move along.

“This is hugging. Geez, just because we live in the same house, eat the same food, and sleep in the same bed, doesn’t mean we’re a couple.”

FINALLY someone gets it!

Of course, when said lunatic unicorn smashed a magic fist into a cragadile and manages to make it scoot and even flinch, maybe they had more to them than he thought.

Or the world outside of the Everfree Forest was simply stupidly strange like this. Either way, he didn’t care. He just wanted his carrots.

Yeah, I'm betting on the latter. Because really, it's Ponyville. Weird shit happens every other Tuesday.

Snorting in anger, Lightning shot a bolt of lightning into the river. This time, the beast showed the effects since it no doubt hit its eyes or mouth. It wouldn’t hurt the beast really, but it momentarily stunned it. This gave them the perfect opportunity.

“WAAAAAAGH!” Lyra yelled as she and Lightning pulled the beast with Bon Bon’s prayers giving them strength. The beast was thrown onto the forest floor and on its back. Quickly, Bon Bon was near its head and praying hard. Soon enough, a golden aura was over the beast and it fell asleep.

Welp, now they just used a Shock Trap and Tranq Bombs. Good job catching that Cragadile, even though you didn't get to break off any of its parts. Now to carve it up for materials...

Deep within the confines of a dark cave, the scene unfolded within a crystal ball. Not for very much longer though as a hoof smashed said ball into tiny fragments. The owner of the hoof stewed in his rage. His plan had failed, no one had died, and now he broke a scrying orb. Those things weren’t cheap to make.

Oh, for goodness' sake, we have a subplot?! It just can't be a slice of life, can it?

“Bring me another crystal,” Selfias, the Blood Magi, yelled. He heard his minions scrambling for another orb.

Selfias sounds... weird. I dunno, it isn't menacing like Apostle, yet it isn't mundane either. It's just... weird.

Man, this chapter is a huge genre shift from the rest of the story. Granted, it's mostly the second half of the chapter, but still. Pretty surprising, you know? The wacky hijinks with the cragadile was par for the course, but a sub-plot tying together the entire season?! I did not see that coming! Good job at keeping that under wraps.

5708982 To be fair, I had to explain how a cragadile got loose into Whitetail Woods and I already had Selfias in the works so I used them together. He's pretty much the recurring antagonist of season 1, though this is his only role in this story. He's gonna be popping up now and again, trying to get his 'agenda' in order.

Otherwise, this story is staying in slice of life. This was just another point for Pizzelle with her care of Hikaru.

Hikaru didn't notice Angel, cause he's a carnivore kid. Young predators have really short attention spans. {I personally like kids.}

Lyra honestly is one of my favorite characters to write, oddly enough. It's really strange and kind of disconcerting. I mean, I almost made Lyra the Element of Magic and the main character. The only reasons I didn't were

A: I wanted to write a Sunset centered verse. {There weren't any in the works at that time.}

B: Lyra, to my knowledge, is part of several other main Element AUs {Lunaverse and Cadanceverse as examples} and I wanted to be more original in my choices.

{I also don't ship Lyra/Bon Bon, my reasons are my own....As well as partly because I just like lesser known pairings/odd ones myself.}

5708982 Actually, Lyra did break off one of the cragadile's large tusks, so she didn't go home empty hoofed.

Wow, Bon Bon is being really harsh. I guess she's just stressed out, but Pizzelle did have a reasonable expectation that Lightning Dust as a national hero would be an acceptable babysitter for a few hours.

Either way, the part at the end with the cake and the puzzle was adorable.

As much as I am against Bon Bon, she was sort of in the right. But hey, it could've gone worse. If she had given Hikaru to Quickfix or Sunset,the that would have been a brand new type of chaos.

This chapter is just so daww-inducing! Seriously, a mother-son relationship is rarely done. We need more fics like it! I do wonder how Hikaru's gonna fare in school, though. You know just how evil kids are to their friends.

At least Diamond Tiara's nice in this verse!

Children were never taken for granted in Equestria and no expense was too great to ensure their happiness and survival.

Hah! Try nearly every Scootadopt fic.

And once I again, I'm reading the sequel of a series that I haven't finished the pilot story of. Lol. Good chapter. Looking forward to more.

Hahahah, you got your work cut up for you Pizz.

5641709
Ever heard of Chakats? In my 'verse series, Cadence was raised/adopted by them. Everything about her character suddenly makes sense. Lol.

Anyways, back to your story.
Bagheera: "Well, it's happened. Took a lot longer than I thought, but it's happened."

Dang! For a moment there, I thought your Equestria really was more dangerous than I thought. A craigidile (I still prefer Rockodile) in Whitetail?!

He’d make a bunch of friends there

Super cute. I feel sorry for Cheerilee and Bon Bon now, they are basically Ponyville's entire Child Protective Services division between the two of them, and they have got their hooves full. If there is any upside here, it's that I doubt other ponies will want to bully Hikaru, what with him and many of them sharing the terrible experience of being orphans.

However, this made me realize something: Bon Bon is bluffing, there is no way she could turn down Pizzelle. The number of orphans she has in her care just tripled in the last week or two, and Bon Bon is probably desperate to find anyone who will take these kids in, I wouldn't be surprised if they are sleeping two to a bed in the orphanage. Unless Pizzelle shaves Hikaru's coat off or something, Bon Bon is going to have to let her keep him, because otherwise she has one extra orphan she is going to have to try and pass on to a limited number of families she is already trying to get to adopt other kids.

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