Grievous hated battle droids. He really did. Ironic, considering how much of his own body was itself robotic, but he found the war machines he was provided by Count Dooku and the factory worlds of the CIS to be perpetual exercises in frustration. Even the best of them suffered from serious limitations compared to the armies of Kaleesh warriors he had commanded when he was known as Qymaen jai Sheelal, and even the days shortly after he had taken up his current name.
But of all the battle droids in the arsenal of the Confederacy of Independent Systems, the B-1 models were by far the worst in Grievous’ opinion. Weak, stupid, fragile, and only useful in extreme numbers, he often wondered why anyone bothered to build them at all. He himself had often petitioned to decommission the model altogether in favor of more organic armies to fight for the Separatists, but each time he was denied his wish. And so he was stuck with what he considered to be the single most annoying model of droid in existence. Which really was unfortunate, considering that B-1s made up the bulk of the Separatist Droid Army.
It was in that context that Grievous’ next actions had to be understood.
Ignoring the cheerily-dressed equines and their party altogether, General Grievous stormed across the room, hands curled up into fists. He grabbed the first battle droid in a hat that was within his reach, holding it up by its chest.
“Tell me,” he said, in a dangerous tone of voice. “For what purpose were you constructed?”
“To defend the interests of the Confederacy of Independent Systems! To fight and destroy its enemies wherever they may be found, sir!” it said in its high-pitched, squeaky voice. Grievous hated that voice. It was the antithesis of what he thought a warrior should sound like.
Nonetheless, he set the droid down and folded both hands behind his back. “So enlighten me,” he continued. “What does the wearing of party hats and participation in a primitive festival have to do with that?”
“Uh…” the droid paused, tapping its hand to its chin. “The maintenance of our morale?”
Grievous sighed, closed his eyes, and drew back his fist.
And punched the battle droid’s head clean off.
The long, thin, eyeless, mouthless head of the B-1 battle droid, party hat and all, went flying through the air. It hit one of the crystal walls of the palace at high speed and bounced off, clattering to floor below. The body it had left behind wobbled momentarily as it struggled to keep balance, before toppling over and joining its head on Twilight’s floor.
Everypony around the general froze with shook. Even Twilight, who had seen General Grievous execute a living creature as his very first action in front of her, did not expect such callousness towards his own troops from the alien cyborg. Punching one of his own droids’ heads off – over a trivial annoyance no less! To everypony, it looked as though their guest had just committed a public murder. The atomosphere went from celebratory to extremely tense in the blink of an eye.
Who knows what might have happened had another B-1 not reacted when it did. The droid walked over casually and picked up the head of its fallen compatriot, turning it over in its hands like some kind of curiosity, before looking to its leader and speaking up.
“Well, that was rude!”
Twilight Sparkle’s jaw dropped and she blinked, looking shocked. “Didn’t… Didn’t he just kill one of you? Isn’t that a bit more than just rude?!”
“Oh no,” the battle droid shook its head, sounding cheerful. “We have a fusion torch back in the pod! B-1X25 can be reassembled easily. We just have to weld his head back on and everything is a-ok!”
‘Don’t remind me,” said Grievous, his eyes still closed as he struggled not to explode any more than he already had. He could, of course, forbid the repairs from taking place, but on this benighted planet he needed every soldier he could get, including the miserable incompetents of his army.
Regrettably.
The battle droid leaned in towards Twilight, as if letting her in on some kind of secret. “Between you and me, he does that a lot when he’s mad.”
“Not often enough, it seems,” Grievous answered.
“Aw, we love you too, sir,” said the droid. “Grievous! Grievous! Grievous!” it chanted.
The chant was very rapidly taken up by all the other B-1 battle droids in the room and slowly, reluctantly by the ponies in it. Beginning, naturally, with Pinkie Pie.
Grievous fantasized about murdering every single thing, organic or droid, in that room. Vividly. In great detail.
When the chanting began to die away, another battle droid took the stage. “Ok everybody, our friend B-1X25 is going to be just fine! And I know from the bottom of my central processor that he would want us to go on without him and party!”
The ponies and droids alike cheered at that. Somepony blew a streamer very loudly, and confetti floated down from the ceiling. In the corner, a blue-maned white pony in sunglasses fired up the DJ stand as the celebration recommenced.
The cyborg general felt a tugging on his cape, and looked down to see a certain bright pink pony he had already developed a particular dislike for.
“So, Grievy,” said Pinkie Pie, looking up at him. “Do you want your welcome to Ponyville cupcake now, or later?”
“No! And my name is Grievous! General! Grievous! Understand?!”
“So…” Pinkie rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “That’s a later then?”
“No! Go away!” Grievous made to storm off in a huff, but Pinkie Pie clung to his cape.
“Nopony escapes the cupcake, Grievy! Nopony!”
“I hate you all,” thought Grievous.
Far away from the celebration, from the village of Ponyville, and indeed from Equestria itself, another figure was on a mission. Princess Luna soared high above the lunar landscape, seeking the location of the foreign object she could sense on the moon’s surface. It took even the dark alicorn some time to locate even such a large thing on an object as big as the moon, but eventually she found what it was she sought.
The Venator-class Star Destroyer Fateful was an absolute wreck. Battered first by the bombardment of the Separatist fleet, then by its unexpected and wild journey through hyperspace, and then finally from its crash landing onto the surface of Equus’ moon, it was a testament to the sturdy construction of Kuat Drive Yards that there was anything left of it at all. As it was, the port-side command deck was missing, the overall port superstructure was full of holes and completely compromised, and the bottommost decks had been ground off altogether during the ship’s long, slow crash onto the moon.
Princess Luna naturally had little difficulty in finding entrance into a ship so full of holes. It was quite dark inside the Fateful, all power supplies having long since gone dead, so Luna lit her horn to see her surroundings.
What she saw was ruin.
The walls and floor of the ship, where they had not been ground or blasted into hunks of charred metal, were covered in what looked to be burn marks. Some places had them more intensely than others, but almost nowhere Luna visited was devoid of such things. And they were more plentiful where the bodies were lying.
In her millennia of existence, Princess Luna had seen many sights, but very rarely had she witnessed such appalling carnage as she found aboard the Star Destroyer. Bodies – of both organics and droids – were scattered throughout the ship. But far more common were parts of bodies, torn apart by the forces that had been exerted on the ship. Dried blood, crimson and black, stained the durasteel everywhere Luna looked. The droid forces matched up roughly with what Grievous had brought with him – when they were whole enough for such identification anyway.
The other side, the soldiers of what Luna presumed must be the Galactic Republic Grievous had named, somewhat resembled Twilight Sparkle’s description of the creatures that lived on the world beyond the mirror. Humans she had called them, though the ones Luna saw lacked the multicolored skin of their dimensional counterparts. Indeed, they all sported the same tone of brown skin, with solid black hair. When the princess was able to examine their faces, she noted that each soldier had the same face, save for a few cosmetic alterations such as tattoos or variant hairstyles. This seemed to confirm Grievous’ claim that they were all clones. They were, she noted, dressed in white battle armor that looked and felt somewhat like plastic. However, the burn marks indicated it was at least somewhat effective in protecting its wearers.
The fact that they were all dead tended to belay that observation, though.
Luna wandered through the great bay in the center of ship’s superstructure, noting as she did the many wondrous-looking craft around her. This place too was full of bodies, but was also full of the wreckage of dozens of smaller ships, which intrigued the alicorn. Perhaps this ship was meant as a carrier of lesser vessels? Was it intended to support a planetary invasion? Maybe that was why they had been destroyed in the bay when the ship was boarded?
Having no answers to these questions, Luna pressed onwards through the ship. The many scenes of carnage that she passed only hardened the night princess’s resolve that such devastation should not be brought to Equestria. These Clone Wars must not be permitted to reach the surface of the planet below, no matter what must be done to stop it. For if such death was the result of one single battle, how much worse would the entire war be? Equestria would be a charred ruin, if indeed there was anything left of it at all.
It was as Luna began to climb the remaining tower jutting out of the ship’s superstructure that she noticed something odd. Previously, all of the Republic’s clone soldiers she had observed had been dressed in white battle armor. As she climbed, she noticed that some of the clone corpses were dressed not in armor, but in cloth uniforms. The composition of the droid forces, by contrast, did not change as she ascended, except in that far more of the black-bodied ones were showing up. She began to have her suspicions.
It was when Luna reached the bridge that she found her suspicions confirmed. She recognized the area for the control center that it was instinctively, needed nopony to explain that to her. There were spaces for many operators for a dizzying variety of consoles whose function she did not understand, but only pieces of three droids. Two were the black-armored models Grievous had called commandos, and one appeared to be the same model as the staff-wielding droid that had hung close to the general throughout their meeting.
By contrast, the bridge was full of the bodies of clones. They had been killed in variety of ways, to look at it. Some had been beheaded, others cut across the chest, some lacked evident wounds besides general burning, and others had simple, clean-looking holes through their bodies. Luna even found the one human that did not look like the others. It looked female, with blonde hair with streaks of grey. Its legs were missing, and it had a burned hole through its chest. What united all corpses was the fact that they were, to a man, wearing cloth uniforms rather than battle armor. Sending armored troops to take lesser areas and unarmored, light-equipped men to take the bridge made no sense at all. On the other hoof, putting unarmored men in an area where they were unlikely to see combat was perfectly sensible to the alicorn’s mind.
Grievous had lied to them. He had not been boarded. He had been the boarder.
Oh Snap! Luna's getin smart...
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUNNNN!
I'm sure Grievous can talk his way out of this one. Right?
Pinkie... Grievous doesn't even have a mouth to eat the cupcake with...
Those Battle Droids.
This isn't your fight Luna. Don't do anything drastic.
Well if you guys think about it, Grievous still can talk about in his defense. This is a war, two side always. Who cares if he was the one who invaded the enemy cruiser.
For example, i play this new space simulator game called Elite: Dangerous. In this game, i'm part of a grand galactic fiction named the Federation. And the Federation has enemies, complet war zones in various systems. And one of our enemies is the Empire and the other fiction the Alliance. So, when i see such player or NPC with that fiction badge, nobody cares if i deploy my weapons and star murder them. They just call it, Federation business. Ok, maybe the local law force send after me some crappy security patrol ship and give me some bounty after my actions, but i can pay with my credits for such things easily.
Oh those Battle droids
Well I'm satisfied.
A very unique chapter in its own regard, and certainly a good model of two different atmospheres. The first being a chaotic bled of comedy and tension. The second being a disturbingly soothing, solemn and eerie setup for what was to come. You good sir are a talented writer.
While I couldn't find any music that would go with the first half; I was able to read the second chapter while listening to Jeremy Soule's "Licking Wounds" from the Total Annihilation soundtrack. Which for me only added to the already well written atmosphere.
As Luna walked the blackened halls of the derelict vessel in the cold of space. Pieces of debris and bodies floated about from the moons low gravity. Walls of firm durasteel coated in blood and charred laser fire. While droids lied about in pieces, cold and faceless; The clone soldiers, their bodies covered in blood & laser blasts, or torn asunder, their limbs floating about. Their faces, either concealed in helmets or fully revealed with looks of peace, horror, acceptance of their fate. Luna continued to progress through the ship. Thoughts of concern, remorse, fear, and that something was gravely amiss grew in her mind, caution and suspicion were her companions in this grave of steel. The horror only grew as she arrived what she believed to be some sort of command station. The bodies of clones she saw where dressed in cloth uniforms, stained in blood, heads missing charred scars across their chests and piercings through their chests. A few droids laid about in a similar fashion of scars to that of the humans. And of course a single human, female as far as Luna could summarize. Her legs cut clean in half a single charred mark on her chest. With everything she had seen, Luna came to a single conclusion.
Grievous. Lied.
That's my summary of it.
I look forward to the next chapter.
Luna can't call Grievous out cause that would mean admitting she could go to the moon to see the wreckage.
And who knows what Grievous would do if he found out they had been lying?
...
Actually I think everyone knows exactly what he would do and it rhymes with "burder reveryone."
Now I'm not saying the princesses couldn't stop him.
Eventually.
But Grievous's rampage would result in countless casualties before they brought him down. Magic schmagic, Grievous is designed to massacre Jedi, who also tend to have supernatural abilities. And he's slaughtered them by the dozens.
The Princesses are all several magnitudes of power stronger than what he's faced before, but he'd still give them a hell of a fight.
So confrontation is the worst idea.
Meaning Luna and her Princess pals are going to have to figure out something that won't make Grievous suspicious.
And they can't just ambush and kill him because what if Dooku and others track him there? Then they'll have exactly what they wanted to avoid: war with the CIS.
I really don't see a way for the ponies to get out of this frying pan without jumping straight into a fire.
Yay!
I predict equestria will face the full power of the "fully operational battle station" known as the deathstar.
.....Honestly? I know she feels like she just had a huge win, but.... So? So fucking what?
It's none of her business. Like, at ALL. It's war. Shit happens. People die. The fact that one side or another made an aggressive action really means nothing. How many Confederate ships has the Republic boarded?
She hasn't discovered shit. The only thing this means is that she is probably about to do something very, very dumb, for no real reason.
'You didn't tell us the truth about this!'
'Because, being organic, you are far more likely to sympathize with them than you are us, despite the facts that you have never met them and we have done nothing but help you and be polite since we arrived.'
Grevious will talk his way out of this. Easily.
5516225 Pfft. War? Nigga please.
5516308 I don't know what kind of pests you deal with, but mine can't usually swing a star around like it's a medieval flail.
That tends to be problematic for starships with a melting point less than 5,800 Kelvin (i.e. all of them).
5515182
YES YES YESSSSS DOCTOR EVIL!!!
SO AWESOME!!! I WANT MORE!!!
Oh, and please have some Republic Forces discover the crash and come after Grievous later on in the story!
Oh shit.
Grevious... you're screwed.
Silly Luna. One does not simply "stay out" of the clone wars.
5516034
You're right, of course, but now they know Grievous is lying to them.
I can't believe this specific "X in Equestria" crossover exists.
Or that so far everyone involved is in-character... even the B1s, as derpy as they got in the Clone Wars-era.
5514250 And his alignment is chaotically good? Chaotically neutral?
I kinda have to agree with some of the reviews about it not being Luna and celestia problem if anything they should want Grievous off their planet faster
I'm loving this so far. I never thought a Star Wars/My Little Pony crossover would work, but it does. I like the mix of comedy and seriousness. Only the best writers can do something like that.
I'm going to guess that Luna's going to make the stupid decision to let all the other ponies know what she saw on the moon. Grievous is in a war. Even if he was part of the Republic, he'd still have to invade Separatist ships. It's not going to end well for Luna.
5516348
The viability of a weapon is limited by the viability of the one who wields said weapon.
Or, to put it another way...
Do pony head asplode when lazor?
you can argue that the moment he and his droids had killed all the enemies on board the ship, it was his by rights of conquest.
Not that hes going to argue anything of course, its not their business.
cdn.meme.am/instances/47797222.jpg
Luna, don't be stupid now. This is the kind of shit that happens in a war.
Well, now that I've caught up, on to a more thorough review. (or at least a valiant attempt at one)
I absolutely love this. Every single facet of Equestrian culture grinds on Grievous's eternally-low patience. The general incompetence and lovable goofiness of the B1 battle droids does not help matters for him.
That said, I hope more of the other droids get caught up in the Ponyvillian hospitality. I can only imagine how the B2s, commandos, and MagnaGuard process all of it.
Everyone's managed to stay in character so far, and though there are some grammar mistakes and missing words, there aren't enough of them to detract from the story. Overall, you've done a good job, and I look forward to seeing more!
I get the feeling that Dooku will appear soon, that or the Republic find him first.
Luna's reaction:
But seriously Luna, what did you learn? That he is fighting in a war. That he kills his enemys instead of hugging them and brain washing them with "reformation spells" (seriously that's kids fucked up in comparison). With the exception of the exact circumstance of the battle, Greveous has not lied to you yet. So go ahead and ride that high horse till you get saddles sore princess. It will be fun to see you smacked with the reality of war.
5516430 No the ponies are one who are screwed.
Wouldn't he be able to explain that this is a war and "he had no choice in this matter". But nothing quite comedic like a b-1 getting owned. Luna should know better than to immediately act aggressive. There is much activity set up for next chapter let's see what we got ahead of us.
So.
Luna picking her nose where it should'nt be.
She doesn't know if the things that Grevious killed on the ship were actually good guys.
And. Luna. It's fucking war. People die.
That's it. You can't do nothing about it. It's Grevious's job. SO you thinking that Grevious lied at this point Luna is completely Void as of right now -_-.
This is already really hilarious! I only made it to the part with Twilight, and I already love it!
*gives Snake Staff feedback*
I kind of want to see what would happen is the G.G. got mad and kill some pony, what would the Prinesses do? Say... give their power to Twilight so she can nuke the shit out of him?
Other then that, love the story. 4.5 of 5 stars!
I honestly want to see Grievous win an argument over war and lying. They are at war, in war people die. Would anyone let him in if he said, "I boarded a ship and slaughtered the crew." Nope. No one on that planet would have. The ponies are too peaceful to understand what happens and what needs to be done to win a war.
This looks cooooool.
5518307
She observed that he killed unnecessarily - that is, he was perfectly at liberty to let the manticore live without further danger to himself, but chose not to. He killed a defeated enemy just because he wanted to. That is a Very Bad Thingtm in Equestria.
5518703
I don't really see the problem, after all he just acted as Equestria's newest princess while she was still Celestia's student. He killed (removed) unarmed clones just as Twilight did. Difference? He did it while in war with them and they were clones of mercenary and assassin. Twilight did it to clones of her friend because they were annoying.
5519323
I used removed in brackets especially for Twilight, because MLP is big on the entire Fate Worse Then Death thing (and is K Rated). And just because Creators "mean" something one way, it doesn't mean it wont come out quite differently in show itself. In some cases as almost opposite.
Also I have problem to take all of official statements by Hasbro people too seriously since they stated, that there are actually seven Elements of Harmony. Seventh Element being Love with co-bearers Shining Armor and Cadence. And apparently it work without any foci(relic/amulet) and is independent on other six (which pretty much kills that entire harmony theme).
Strangely she could've assumed they were all Jedi XD would've fit what she'd seen just as well
Oh shit! The plot thickens yet again. How's Luna going to tell the others without Grievious knowing? He's so gonna kill ponies. I can see it/.
5515946 WELL, he does, just not a mouth capable of actual eating.
It's gonna hit the fan real soon. DUCK & COVER!
Aw. I was hoping the battle droids in this story would be less "The Clone Wars."
Luna, I swear to God, give him his nightmare before Christmas moment.
5573871 What's this? What's this? There's carnage everywhere.
What's this? What's this? There's blood in the air.
As funny as it is. Less stupid party droids, more deep battle mystery. Good work.
LOLZ!!!
And oh boy! Looks like Luna has found the truth!