• Published 14th Jan 2015
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Friendship is Grievous - Snake Staff



All welcome the latest visitor to Equestria... General Grievous?

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A Grievous Setback

Princess Luna stood beside her taller, more stoic big sister while the Republic’s soldiers cleared out their castle. What she saw appalled the night princess. Cloned soldiers, their faces identical to those she had found dead aboard the Fateful, were hoisting the bodies of their dead and wounded onto their ships. The condition of the bodies was revolting – many looked as though they had been brutally maimed. One was missing his head, another looked to have been outright torn in half. The courtyard where Grievous had been captured was in shambles, its cobblestones coated with ash and blood. Seeing such a scene on an alien spaceship was one thing, to see it in her very home was quite another. It reminded Luna of just how fragile the peaceful beauty of Equestria could be. She mumbled a prayer of thanks to the old gods that none of the dead had been ponies, at the very least.

And then Grievous was marched out.

Luna couldn’t help but let out a gasp. If the Kaleesh cyborg had been a horror to look upon before, now he was an outright nightmare to behold. His white armor was scorched black in many places and covered in streams and splatters of reddish-black human blood. His long arms – all four of them – were gone, looking to have been severed near the shoulders. Luna couldn’t imagine how painful that must have been, and still be. His legs were bound by no less than three separate pairs of cuffs, forcing him to walk slowly, Obi Wan Kenobi and a number of clone troopers directly behind him.

But by far the worst thing about him were his eyes. They had already been unpleasant to look into, yellow and slitted and generally reptilian as they had been. But now they were bottomless pools of seething hatred staring back at Luna, making her feel as though she were some insect under the magnifying glass of a cruel god. The misery and loathing she felt pouring from him in waves made the alicorn feel both nervous and, though she tried to suppress it, a little bit guilty.

General Grievous halted his march not far from where the royal sisters stood. His escort immediately began readying their weapons, but all he did was stare at the two. Luna’s ears twitched nervously, and she fought the urge to shy away from the alien she had sold out to save her nation.

“You are all going to die for this, you know,” said Grievous in a voice that seemed strangely calm. “You, your families, your friends, and your people – all of them will die because of what you have done today. That I can promise you.”

“They will be doing no such thing,” said Obi Wan, activating his lightsaber and brandishing it warningly at the cyborg’s back. “And unless you wish to force me to remove your legs and carry you, I suggest you keep moving.”

Grievous snarled at his Jedi captor, but reluctantly continued trudging along at his slow pace without a further word. He was marched up the boarding ramp of a waiting Nu-class Republic attack shuttle. Kenobi and the clones followed him up the ramp, and a short time later the Jedi Master came back down. He strode towards the two princesses.

“Your highnesses,” said Obi Wan, bowing his head slightly. He looked dirty and exhausted. “You have my gratitude for the use of your palace, and for your assistance in leading General Grievous to me. His capture here would not have possible without you. It will save many lives, and perhaps do much more. So, again, you have my sincerest thanks.”

“I am simply thankful that none of our subjects were harmed in this operation,” replied Celestia. “Though I am sorry to say that the same cannot be said of your men.”

Obi Wan sighed wearily. “No, it cannot. We’ve taken the wounded for treatment, and our dead for proper burial. I regret to report that we couldn’t do much about the mess, though.”

Luna’s blue eyes wandered down to Master Kenobi’s utility belt, which she observed now held not one lightsaber but six. With a slight start, she recognized them for the very same weapons Grievous had been wielding.

Obi Wan followed the princess’ gaze. “These lightsabers were taken from Jedi that Grievous murdered in the past. They will be returned to the Jedi Temple, to be buried with honor in our traditional ceremony,” he sighed heavily again. “In many cases I don’t doubt these will be the only things we have left of our comrades. The good general is not known for being gentle to our bodies.”

Princess Luna found herself pitying Kenobi at that moment. For all that Grievous self-evidently loathed the man and his order, and despite the coercion Admiral Tarkin had employed, this Obi Wan didn’t seem to be a bad man. He looked, more than anything, tired. Tired of war and death and burying his soldiers and his fellows. The alicorn found herself wishing she could have met him under different circumstances.

“Regardless,” the Jedi continued, snapping Luna from her thoughts. “I shall see General Grievous up to our ships and ensure that he is properly imprisoned. Then I hope to return as swiftly as possible to conclude our business here,” he paused. “You still wish to join the Republic, do you not?”

“We seem to have no choice now, Master Kenobi,” answered Celestia. “With what we have done, by Grievous’ own words the Separatists will seek our blood. How else can protect ourselves?”

The Jedi’s expression saddened slightly. “Yes…” he bowed his head again. “For anything that it’s worth to you, I apologize in the deepest of manners for Admiral Tarkin’s behavior. I will do everything I can to see to it that he is punished for his actions.”

“We thank thee for thy concern,” Luna said. “When thou returnest, thou shalt contact this Chancellor Palpatine on our behalf, nay?”

“Yes your highness,” Kenobi replied. “I shall personally speak with him before you and urge him to accept your application in the strongest of terms. When I do, I swear I shall not leave the planet until it is granted.”

“That is reassuring to hear,” said Celestia. “We bid you all speed in your journey.”

“Thank you, your highness. May the Force be with you.”

“And with thee, Master Kenobi.”

Obi Wan Kenobi gave a final nod of the head, and then turned and marched back the way he had come. He climbed the shuttle’s ramp and disappeared inside it. Seconds later, the shuttle’s blue thrusters fired up and the ramp retracted inside. It and the LAAT gunships lifted slowly off the ground before zipping forwards and picking up speed and altitude. The group was soon gone from sight, vanished into the storm clouds still covering Canterlot.

“Well sister,” said Celestia, after they had watched the alien ships depart. “I suppose we had better round up everypony and tell them that it now safe to return to the castle,” she looked at the devastated courtyard. “And get a cleaning crew, I think.”

“Wouldst…” Luna shied away slightly.

Celestia looked curiously at her sister.

“Wouldst thou mind doing that, Tia? We… We…” Luna gestured mutely at the castle tower that had been her home, where most of the chase had taken place.

Celestia looked sympathetic. “Of course, Lulu. Take all the time you need.”

“Thank thee, Tia,” Luna embraced her sister. The two held each other for some time before letting go.


Princess Luna wandered through her palace tower for some time. The place had, to put it mildly, been thoroughly trashed. The exterior, needless to say, bore the marks of a rocket launcher and more than one blaster shot. Inside, Grievous’ wild flight through the corridors and blaster bolts that had come after him had taken their toll on the elegant tower marble and many works of art within. Some, even including ones that had been old and valuable when Luna had become Nightmare Moon, were utterly ruined. The priceless stained glass window the night princess had commissioned to mark her return to sanity had also been smashed into so many jagged shards.

The alicorn dreaded what she might see when she came to her own quarters, and her premonition did not fail her. The double doors she had spent so many hours lovely crafting had been blown of their hinges and torn into pieces. Inside was even worse. Everything was a wreck, without exception. If it wasn’t burned by blaster fire or covered in barely-dried blood, it had simply been smashed to splinters by sheer physical force. Her bed, her carpets, her furniture, her antique book collection – all of it was ruined now, beyond repair. Now Luna knew how Twilight Sparkle had felt after Tirek’s attack, only months ago. Had it really been so short a time? Luna shook her head and sighed. It felt like longer.

The night princess stared down at an enormous blood stain covering one of her imported rugs. What had happened to the man who had spilled that blood, she wondered? Was he crippled for life? Did he yet live at all? What kind of life did a clone soldier have to go back to even if he did survive? Without father or mother or sister or brother, or any family at all, how did one even live? To be grown in a lab for the sole purpose of war…

Luna shuddered at the thought.

The more the night princess learned about these Clone Wars, the more she found herself sympathizing with both sides. And, more to the point, the more she feared the idea of them coming to her beloved Equestria. Looking at the clone’s shed blood once more and recalling Grievous’ promise to her, Luna couldn’t help but wonder.

Had they done the right thing?


Onboard the Invisible Hand, Count Dooku sat on the command throne in silent, stoic meditation. All around him droids worked their consoles, struggling to keep the ship going and obey the barked commands of General Kalani. Outside, the blackness of space had been lit up by the sight of turbolasers and explosions, the Republic and Separatist cruisers exchanging fire while countless small fighters zipped between them, chasing one another or strafing the larger vessels.

Dooku ignored all of that. His sole focus was on the currents of the dark side of the Force, and on the mission his Master had given him. What he needed to do next was not as straightforward as it seemed, he could sense that much. The dark side was calling to him, trying to tell him something. His brow furrowed even further as the old man struggled to determine what it was the Force wanted to show him.

Seconds turned into minutes while Count Dooku sat immobile, wholly consumed by his meditation. The battle outside raged on, the thoughts and feelings and pain and death of those participating stirring the currents of the Force around them, though they knew it not.

Then, in an instant, Dooku’s eyes sprang open. He had his answer.

“General Kalani?” he said, rising to his feet and brushing a slight bit of dust from the shoulder of his cape.

The super tactical droid turned his three orange photoreceptors to regard the elderly human. “My lord?” he asked.

“The bridge is yours, general,” Dooku answered, turning and beginning to stride quickly towards the exit. “Ensure that the battle continues. I sense that my presence is required… elsewhere.”


General Grievous sat within the Nu-class shuttle in sullen silence. Normally a troop transport, this particular version had been modified to carry energy cages instead of more clones. The cyborg sat within the cramped confines of one, legs still shackled, clone troopers and Jedi Master alike standing vigil outside.

“You know,” said Kenobi, during the bumpy ride through the atmosphere. “If you cooperate, the Senate may be inclined to show leniency.”

Grievous said nothing.

“If you will tell us the identities of your masters, you might even be granted amnesty,” Obi Wan went on. “We know you are working with a highly-placed Sith Lord by the name of Darth Sidious. Tell us what you know about him, and I am certain we can strike a deal.”

Grievous’ only answer was a burning stare interrupted by a hacking cough.

Obi Wan frowned. “Have it your way then,” he said, stalking off to the front of the shuttle, out of the cyborg’s sight. But Grievous’ keen sense of hearing could still make out the sound of a holoprojector being activated.

“General Kenobi,” came the sound of a new voice with an Outer Rim accent.

“Admiral Tarkin, where are those fighters you promised us? We’re halfway out of the atmosphere and I haven’t seen a single one, much less three squadrons.”

“My apologies, general,” said this Tarkin, sounding to Grievous’ ears insincere. “But I’m afraid the Separatist fleet is pressing us harder than anticipated.”

The cyborg’s augmented heart leaped. Separatist fleet?! They were here?! Now?! Grievous barely resisted the urge to lean in closer to the cage’s bars, as it would make it too obvious to the clone troopers what he was doing.

“The fighters I intended to escort your and our prisoner were caught up in dogfight to protect one of our cruisers from enemy Hyena bombers. I have, however, dispatched alternates from the shipboard reserves. You should be in contact momentarily.”

“My thanks, admiral. Everything is ready shipboard?”

“Yes, general. Our brig is ready to receive the enemy of the state, and the fleet is prepared to jump to lightspeed once you are safely onboard.”

“And leave these people to the Separatists?!” Kenobi sounded incredulous.

“Yes. Is that a problem?”

Grievous wanted to laugh. The worthless alien equines had betrayed him to the Republic and now it sounded as though the Republic was getting ready to betray them as it had his people. His fellows would scour the planet looking for him, and when he was not found destroy the aliens for their impudence. His promise would be fulfilled without his even doing anything. Grievous’ only regret would be that he wasn’t there to see it himself.

Unfortunately, Kenobi insisted on putting a damper on that as well. “Yes that is a problem, admiral!” he was half shouting. “Those people aided us!”

“They are not Republic citizens,” the officer reasoned. “I see no reason that we should waste our resources to defend them now that we already have what we came for.”

“We are not abandoning them, Admiral Tarkin!” Obi Wan declared firmly. “That is an order! Am I clear enough?”

“Yes, general,” Tarkin sounded sour.

In the next second, Grievous heard the sound of the holoprojector switching off. Kenobi returned to the shuttle’s converted brig shortly thereafter.


Obi Wan Kenobi breathed a small sigh of relief when General Grievous was marched into the detention cell onboard the Liberator. He had had a distressingly bad feeling about the trip, but surprisingly not only had Admiral Tarkin been true to his word, everything else had proceeded smoothly as well. Yes, there had been a few flight of Vulture droid starfighters that had come distressingly close, but the clone-piloted starfighters of the Republic had been enough to see them off. They hand landed in one of the Victory-class Star Destroyer’s ventral fighter bays without incident and marched the captive cyborg to the brig. Now that he was enclosed in four walls of solid durasteel, the Jedi Master felt much better.

Obi Wan began making his way towards the ship’s bridge, pondering precisely what the premonition he had felt meant. Perhaps the battle outside was going poorly? Admiral Tarkin was many things, but a coward was not one of them. He wouldn’t have suggested retreat if he didn’t genuinely think there was a serious chance of the Republic losing. He would want the prestige of destroying another Separatist fleet added to his record if he could at all get it. The Jedi stroked his beard in thought.

Kenobi was so busy musing on the potentials that he almost missed the sounds of ship-wide alarms going off. Wails sounded throughout the vast behemoth, and red lights on the ceiling flashed an emergency warning pattern. Torn from his thoughts, Obi Wan struggled for half a second to recognize what specific alarm was going off. When his training kicked in, the Jedi Master turned on his heels in the hurry, biting back a curse. What did he expect, that this was going to be easy? Of course it was that alarm.

The boarding alarm.