This is a TwiDash songfic. Twilight is singing "Let Her Go" by Passenger after something happens to Dash.
I do NOT own "Let Her Go" it's by Passenger.
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 26th Dec, 2014
- offline last seen Oct 22nd, 2021
TheRandomMLPegasister
I like to write stories about MLP: FIM and I love drawing them too.
TheRandomMLPegasister
Joined 26th Dec, 2014 ·
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Allllll Aboard the magic school bus kids!
We're going on a riiiiiide!
Bruh, I cant even finish the fist part. The amount of Cliches are PAINFUL!
forums.na.leagueoflegends.com/board/attachment.php?attachmentid=823639
Dear: TheRandomMLPegasister
I can sum your whole story up into one word... Confusing. I was stumbling over every other sentence, and if that wasn't enough the whole idea of the story frankly didn't make any sense. How does Rainbow Dash know the princess of the dead, how did she cheat death the first time, how did they have children? Those plot holes were bigger than the grand canyon at moments. Another thing, it was boring to say the least. Any story, fanfiction or award winning novel, needs “wow” words ( as my teachers always say ). You need to bring it to life make us feel like we're there experiencing it first hand. My advise: Find an editor/proofreader, organize your ideas, try to increase your vernacular ( vocabulary ), and study correct syntax and grammatical structures.
I'll dislike for now mainly because of the lack of organization and as I said I was confused. Now, don't take this too hard. If I see improvement in the story I'll come back, like, and maybe add it to my favorites. Good luck Miss RandomMLPegasister.
So...
Who's Harmony Dash?
5699110 Yeah. I know. Need to work on it. If you would read my note you would get some information and in the next chapter she is in it.
Sorry, but this fic just simply doesn't work. It has a good concept for a fan animation or PMV, but songfics in general don't work because you can't hear them singing, you can't hear the instrumentals, and most of the time it just looks like mediocre poems. While this is rather harsh, I'm saying it so that you can get better in the future.
5699450 I understand, but i wanted to base it off of a song so I did. I wanted to put the lyrics in there, but it was against the rules and so I went on ahead with it. It's a story although it originally was going to have other things in there, it's still a story and yes it would work better as a PMV or a fan animation, but alas I do not enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing for people to enjoy. Plus if I wanted to do a PMV i would have to download clips and make my own and it would be complicated stuff that I can't do right now. Thank you for you're comment, but I take these things seriously and I will eventually rewrite this and get help, but til then can you please lay off it?
5699520 Sorry, I didn't think I was being THAT harsh!
5699543 *sighs* You weren't it just gets a little tedious with that result. I just geg worked up after I see a comment like that and I truly do appreciate your help it's just I get a little crazy when I'm writing replies.