Hakuno
Joined 31st May, 2013 ·
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while i'm not really that into "clop" (which i honestly skipped)
this story DOES have potential...
especially with the world building and stuff...
keep up the good work
Mixed feelings here. Though I must say I enjoyed the story...
5408745 Thanks! ^^ While my intention with this fic is shameless clop, I do intend to develop characters as much as I can
5409182 That video!
But I do get the indirect, working on my english ^^
Interesting story. Can't wait to read more.
This story is great!
5409182 that video tho!
Well personally I think three is enough. Like I always say, less is more. But this is your story
By three I mean three potential sex partners... I assume there will be some threesome action later on.
Loving it so far! If I had to have a suggestion, I'd totally bring Fluttershy in. Or AJ.
I specific think these two because seeing as Trixie is making decisions right now about who is off limits or not, I can't see her getting along with abrasive rainbow dash. But at least she mentioned hating lying earlier, so maybe she can strike some sort of rapport with AppleJack. And if that fails, Fluttershy is adorable and delectable, yet no threat to Trixie at all. And Trixie is very sorry about putting them in a hole. So maybe she could find it in her heart to accept those who don't threaten her ego
That's my thoughts on the matter. Keep up the good story!
this is why i read this.
not for the sexy times...honestly if they were gone i would still read this.
but the serious character development, i.e. asking, going slowly so it hurts less, and discussing what happens next.
keep up the good work
Finally, an update!
I know Trixie said she was off limits in the previous chapter, but I am really hoping she gives Rarity a chance.
Sonata.
5505920
Seconded
Fluttershy?
lol. "I wouldn't've fucked her, but I was just so plumb tuckered out by all that pesky skepticism!". For some reason, I don't think my wife would buy it.
5505920
5506344 Thirded.
While it was great, (Long and reeaallly sexy) I have definitely noticed some grammatical/spelling errors, and that can kind of throw off the mood. I can offer my editing services if you'd like.
5684258 Oh! That would be lovely! Send me a PM if you're still interested! ^^
5610335 Fourthed. That's a word, right? Spell check says it isn't, but it isn't exactly reliable.
This story is incredible but I have a question.
Why is Twilight not a tag? Is this so people will not know who the herd members will be?
5844488 Yeah, something like that. Besides, I don't know how many characters will join them, but I know it will be more than what the tags let me, so I decided to go only with Sunset and Trixie because they're the "principal" xD
loved this.... great detail in the writing... there needs to be more Trixset Ships!
A new chapter?
pinhawkblog.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/40dcf8407f_eb74b80d9a9d80c5dd5e8f744e3c9bbd5446d71a2e27b84cd2d822637b56d35a.jpg
Hmm. I can agree to this. But we need some actual relationship development next. Get settled and comfortable. Some character development. I like what I have seen of them, but let's get some more depth in here. Some dynamics, yeah?
Either Tree Hugger or Maud Pie.
All of my favorite EG ships in one fic!!!!
I realy waiting for the foursome chapter.
6286001 Took me long enough huh?
6286011 Wait for next chapter. Hopefully you won't have to wait 8 months again ^^U
6286218 As a matter of fact, I have planned a foursome chapter. Maybe after the next of next one? Ju nois.
Sonata didn't say for realizies or tacos
Oh my Ra, they're gonna turn CHS into a massive Minus Rarity Orgy, aren't they?
Thank you Kakka Karrot Cake You Are Real Super Sand!.
Great Chapter As Always! So Many Great And Powerful Horomones in this chapter.. with lovely bouts of "fun"
.
I like what you've done with Twilight's character here, but the sex scene didn't feel like it was fleshed out enough. The fast-forward to Twilight's jaw aching, and then the cut away after Sonata showed her the strap-on were both a bit disappointing. I understand you wanted Sunset to walk in on them after the cut away, so it does make sense from a story telling standpoint, but I'd love to read a more fully fleshed out anal scene between Twilight and Sonata. Or, you know, if you wanted to start the next chapter immediately where this one left off and have a threesome scene...
Well anal isn't my thing, but this chapter was pretty great and hot.
Some part could use more details, like the part whit the strap-on but it wasn't bad.
So you get a cookie for the chapter.
Loved this chapter!... i really did love this chapter though i wanted to see more Sex Scenes with Twilight And Sonata.. with more then just Anal...
*Points at Hakuno* *Taking a guess here with what i wanna say*
It's True! She Is Real Super Sand At Making Chapters!
I will admit, I am a sucker for great clop! (No pun intended) And this, dear sir/ma'am, is GREAT CLOP. You may even get a follow from me if this story gets better. So, keep up the great work!
Much love,
Pandora
Update: Take my follow. And a cookie.
Much love,
Pandora
Sugarcoat from Crystal Prep.
Rarity or Rainbow. Rarity because the last paragraph seems to imply Trixie got over herself, Rainbow because wishful thinking and Twidash is OTP.
Rarity.
Nobody wants to be the guy? Nobody at all? Fine, I guess I'll take the heat and be the guy for this one.
It's too damn much. Another member? Really? Three partners isn't enough? Look, I get the whole reason why Sunset is doing this in the first place is because she's used to having herds than single relationships, that I guess I can understand. However topics such as those must be taken lightly and thoughtfully, giving time to each member so they can develop more. Here, they seem more like sex toys for Sunset. It doesn't feel romantic at all, I know you could argue a fic titled "Sunset's Herd" will be mostly made up of orgies than actual romance, but it's still something that evens out the constant sex. I feel there's no emotion anymore, and Sunset is only using these three girls for her own devious needs.
Do I have a problem with that? Yes, will I bitch and complain about it after this? No, I wont, this was just something I felt like I needed to share.
6629144 Yours is a perfectly understandable criticism. And since you took the time to write down your concerns, I will be honest with you: I didn't plan this fic to be realistic at all. Heck, I could even get Sunset to bang the whole gang next episode. The thing is that this fic has the purpose to help me write something when I have blockage with my other stories.
In fact, the fic's events are going to become more and more senseless.
Also, if you're still interested in reading this silly fic, here's a little advance of next chapter: The title is "Fun at the Mall". That give away pretty much what's gonna happen, right? So, anyway, what I'm trying to say is Thank you for reading, and Sorry, because the fic won't get any more realistic.
6629645 At least you replied respectfully and in a civil manner. I'll give you props for that. And I have no problem with how unrealistic it'll get, it's inevitable really, all I request is more emotion. Instead of constant fucking, let's take a break and establish a strong relationship between each hers member. That's what I'd do, if I were you.
I look forward to more. Great job and keep up the great work.
Awesome Chapter!..
I'm sorry but i have to say this...
After A Month Or More In Developement.. Will The Next Chapter Be Worth The Weight?...
now if you need me... this girl has matters to see too...
Great job . Please bring out a new chapter .
A little bit of mood whiplash there at the end. Trixie's thoughts before that didn't indicate she minded that much. An extra sentence or two indicating how upset she was might have helped, even if it was just Sunset noticing Trixie was trembling while getting dressed or something. But all-in-all, the characterization makes sense.
That's ok, I'm a big enough fan for both of us.
Using the same Steven Universe reference in two different stories?
6973594 Both scenes were written the same day. Blame Rebecca Sugar.
6974295 No can do.
Lol . A little too funny.
I liked the conflict at the end of this chapter.
It did feel a little bit forced, but I'm glad it's there. Things don't always go according to plan, and there should be consequences for their actions.
Now...if Trixie really thought Sunset forced her into having sex with Sonata, and believed she was raped, I would love to see the outcome of that. Either a big fallout, fight and then a make-up bit OR take it to an extreme and have Trixie call the police and have Sunset arrested.