Your typical Brony that loves chaos and fear. That is trying to please you with his writing.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack went to far. I barely survive their last prank. Now the Elements are all begging me to be their friend again.
I only have two friends left. Ditzy Doo and... The Darkness. It promises to never hurt me. It treats me like I'm its best friend.
I can feel myself slowly falling apart.
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So we're supposed to feel sorry for your douchebag protagonist for being so "unfairly" treated by the Mane 6, right?
Sorry. This just seems like a contrived scenario where the ponies are flanderized to make your OC look good.
Not even gonna talk.
5412562
No need to be sorry. Everyone has their own views.
Plus no your not ment to feel sorry for him.
I see some one has found my story enjoyable. That is all I need to continue this story. Even if it's for one person...pony...changeling...thing.
Awesome chapter you are doing a amazing job i can't wait to see the next chapter
Oo hoo hoo hoo. Good, good. Well, to clear it out, grammar, but that's okay. I really like this. A fanfic where the main character is coming to hate the ponies.
She doesn't live in ponyville.
In the first episode she approached a manticore that was already in combat with her friends and could of taken her head of (and was in position to do that) to remove a splinter she didn't even know as there.
Do you mean fought like full on combat or a verbal argument?
How?
Probably pack not species if these things are like real wolfs.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/652/918/68a.jpg
Their police force must be underfunded.
What?
A reason would be great.
img0.derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/7/5/32640__rainbow+dash_suggestive_derpy+hooves_love+heart_reaction+image_mouth+hold_old+banner_artist-colon-toonbat_and+then+they+all+fucked_and+then+sex+happened.png
Sorry.
The biggest problem is how fucking aggressive he is in this chapter.
5441286
Life...
Also to the "what?" Why can't they be friends?
Yolo
An honest opinion, in no way meant to discourage you from continuing. I suppose the very beginning is the best point that bothered me the most.
Too much telling, not enough showing.
A Timberwolf as a pet? Sure, it's a great idea. Not 100% original, but nothing wrong with it. However, instead of describing how you found her, protected her and finally took her in, it would have more impact if you explain all that over time in multiple chapters. Readers aren't stupid, we know there must be a reason for everything. And we may always demand answers when confronted by questions, but try to resist explaining everything as quickly as possible.
Only give up information that directly links to the present situation. Best advice I can give.
To be fair, this is something I need to work on myself as a writer too.
5441487
Thank you for your opinion and fear not you haven't put me off this story.
I still have much to learn.
Awesome chapters you doing a amazing job I can't wait to see the next chapter
5441333
What?
5445429
I give you boys/girls a hint. It's meant to go fast.
I thing i noticed is that the Ponies are being racist and that is what I hate about ponies. It's on the show as well Example They use they word every pony Which is racist. and thats why i like other species
They where racist with the timber wolf to!
Um..... more ! PLEASE I WANT MORE!
Not even a minute in prison and he has the prisoners as his friends.... popular bastard :D
What doesn't belong!?
MOAR! also make the ponies seem like the bad guys in the end add not necessarily innocent in the future. You are doing a great job of doing it but just make sure you keep up the image. Also I suggest you to make like a pony guilt chapter. (Your choice)
Try to watch out for those occasional spelling errors but otherwise still pretty good man.
Those little B*itchs They are so fucking racist!
This is a very good story you have here, and I can't wait to read more of it.
5581185 same here
Its been 3 weeks wright MOAR
5672324
Heh...I will get to it.
5673390 now
She saw through the window the fire's victim. A burning body of a Timberwolf
Begin the revolution......VIVE LA LIBERTE!!!
I would like to try one of those!
Soooooo...Celestia throws a sentient being in a changeling prison? She didn't even think about the possibility that the human could get harmed, if they absorb too much love or that the changelings could get stronger through this love energy and start a jailbreak?
Kinda funny. Celestia sure isn't the brightest!
5992004
All these years and she has yet more to learn.
5992333
Yeah, and I just noticed that she is a racist too. I mean, RD and AJ almost killed him and got no punishment, while he gets punished with two months prison for a dog bite and a nightmare? Celestia was probably the biased judge. And he wasn't even in the courtroom! Probably didn't even have a defense attorney... Kind of messed up. Harmony sure looks different.
It is really interesting and I'm already thrilled to read the next chapter.
To quote Lelouch Via Britannia,
Dude, for one, periods aren't the be-all-end-all of punctuation. Commas exist - use them.
Update
waiting for update
lh3.googleusercontent.com/-0ON8Npn-miI/VTE48lBFxKI/AAAAAAABmuc/NE30iYhB6Co/w800-h800/cookieball.gif
any time now
i.imgur.com/4Frdzvr.gif
6087197
Aaaaannnnnnyyyyy time now.
When is the next chapter uhhhhhhh
6092635 You still making this man?
Anyone else fanboy/girl-ing about this Doctor Who reference?!?!?!
They did his trial without him.... oh, right. Middle Ages, peasant have no rights. Races without a sizable army to enforce respect are fucked.
5441286 they never really treated him like a friend, invaded his home, made insulting assumptions, wouldn't let go when he ended their friendship, and oh yeah, landed him the the hospital, MULTIPULE TIMES. He's understandably pissed off.
6345720
Do two wrongs make a right?
6346041 if he not wanting to be their friend wrong the only fact he is in prison is because of shining, and after what they have done in the past it may not have been right but they deserve it.
p.s. late at night tell me if I make a grammatical mistake
More please comrade this is a great story
any chance we're getting more of this?
6531313 That's what I'm hoping for.
USE DARK MAGIC BRING BACK THE TIMBERWOLF
Moar plis