Your typical Brony that loves chaos and fear. That is trying to please you with his writing.
Celestia has kept me out of sight from her little ponies because I am too dangerous. She stole my freedom. She tries to tell me it's all ok but I can't wait any longer. No one should have their freedom taken.
Maybe I can bargain my way out? Cause she is my friend right? If not I force my way out.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ahh... Freedom... The best thing that can happen... And those damn ponies just always take it away... *Giggle* Yes... I do believe that something needs to be done... I always believed that Equestria needed some adventure once in a while... A chaotic one... *Giggle*
Errors in both grammar and vocabulary. Also strange pacing + simplified characters are the story's flaws so far. However, I enjoyed it.
Bad grammar, worse pacing, cardboard characters.
Not even amusing as a shitfic. It's just not good.
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This could definitely use some work. It needs a lot of editing.
Despite this, I still feel the need to have more. Cheers.
This looks very good.