Takes place in season 1
Twilight Sparkle, mostly settled in the small town of Ponyville, finds herself at a loss as ponies start letting themselves in (literally and figuratively) into her life. On her end, she and (for some reason constantly brought in conversation) Spike are doing perfectly fine.
But the ponies... Oh, the ponies are in a uproar as they wonder and ponder the big questions.
What did Twilight 'do' to get sent to Ponyville?
How exactly was she coping living 'alone'?
What really was the story about Spike?
Didn't she need 'help'?
A young thang like herself, raising her son alone in a little place like Ponyville, needed all the help she could. Or not. Maybe, she didn't. Being a fool who got herself knocked up and thrown away from the Princess on high...
Great thus far, as I've come to expect from you.
The grammar suffered a little more in chapter 2 than in chapter 1. Looking forward to the next exciting installment. 
Quite like me, actually
So...it begins... DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! Yeah, gonna favor this one. I would rather not accidentally miss a chapter!
That story descriptions like this deserves a separate like bar so we can upvote a story's description.
Reading this next xD
5410133
Thanks for reading. I just made clean pass through chapter 2 but I might still have my 'I'm-finished-' goggles on from catching any more.
5410144
Thanks for faving. I hope its a good read.
5410218
Hope you enjoy it.
Chp. 1 reaction: The life and times of an introvert. I really enjoy the inner look into what goes on in that purple mare's mind. She really doesn't seem to grasp that social balance since she seems to have such a literal sense mentality being such a studious pony. Jeez. Very nice start.
Ch.2 reaction: Whoa, you know, Twilight is very assumptious. Granted, she seems right about Spike's opinions, and he is almost as old as her anyways, maybe we don't have any idea how old Twi was when she took the test, but I digress. It would have been nice to let Spike in on that bit of decision making. The show could have done well to let Spike go to Cheerilee's class and put Snips and Snails to more use, maybe add Rumble into the group, who knows. But that's a boat long since passed.
Great chapter, liking this story a lot so far. The way Twilight speaks really gives off the wrong impression to ponies xD
It's different. I like it
Ponyville has to be using lead pipes for it's drinking water system.
And 25 Quatloos says Spike is better educated than Cherilee.
Wellthat explains the towns ponies. They're all drunk! No wonder they're so dumb all the time!
So they don't know who Twilight is? Really?
5413990
It's funny that they are talking about unicorns but they're acting out stereotypes themselves. All three of them are earth ponies and they are getting drunk off their rockers. Cheerilee especially.
5414038
Season 1... I can claim this.
You see, the bulk of Twilight's adventures happened with only Twilight's friends around to witness them. And Twilight herself doesn't go out of her way to socialize anyone. She could be THE Twilight Sparkle, savior of Equestria but why is she staying in a library then? Sure, they see her running around and barking orders, but have the ponies listened or did they just run away?
And I would argue that Twilight in action is practically a different pony compared to Twilight in the library.
5414122 I wasn't even saying that at all. Hell, I don't even know what an EP stereotype would be, because they're fictional! All I know is the Ponyville stereotype of being dumb, gullible, attracted to the newest thing. And with the collective group memory of a goldfish. They're like a small child you'd distract with shiny keys.
Then again, I'm not surprised Ponyville's residents are racist. *looks at Zecora* Very,very, vey racist.
5414287
Hmm interesting... Could you give specific examples of this?
5414339 Both times with the Flim Flam Brothers, Mare Do Well, Cheese Sandwitch (just after singing a song about how much they love Pinkie even), Luna Eclipsed, Bridle Gossip, and that's all that comes to mind without me having to really sit down and think about it.
So I guess they just forgot about this happening a few days ago?
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/c/c8/Celestia_assigning_new_mission_for_Twilight_S1E02.png
"Spike, take a note please. I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree that the unicorn Twilight Sparkle shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must continue to study the magic of friendship. She must report to me her findings from her new home in Ponyville."
Maybe Cheerilee, Berry, and Rose are just to drunk to be thinking clearly.
Anyway, this is a great story. I love the part about social interactions and conversational expectations for an introvert from Twilight's perspective. That really resonated with me.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120825032833/amnesia/images/4/48/Machine_for_Pigs_logo.jpg
I really hope there will be more about this Daily character.
5414464
Seriously, Ponyville has to be using lead pipes for their water supply. It explains so much.
Cheerilee, not Cheerliee.
Just let Spike eat her, Twi. It'll save everypony trouble in the long run.
"Baby dragon" doesn't mean the same thing as "baby pony" Ceerilee.
Oh no, now she's going to think Twilight is keeping him away from the kids because she doesn't trust him.
These two have problems
Spike has two degrees? What are they in?
Honestly, this Spike seems to be a very interesting character almost as interesting as that Daily Daisy character that for mentioned. Will we learn more about the both of them?
I'm loving how Twilight this Twilight is! It's refreshing to see a season one Twilight with all her awkwardness!
Cheerilee seems to have gone through some form of traumatic experience to make her this paranoid.
5414287
A Ponyville stereotype could be that they come up with excuses to have holidays every other week and they like up for miles to get wasted.
Oh, dear.
If Cheerilee had only listened to what Spike was saying, that will no doubt end up saving her a whole lot of trouble later...
Do you have plans to continue this? It's pretty awesome.
5617817
I might. I would like to get some editors to go over what I have so far. Clean it up and then start updating again.
5624489 But it's not bad! The story is interesting, and the chapters are a reasonable length. I didn't spot any spelling or grammatical errors, but then again, I wasn't looking for them.
5624489 your main problem is that you miss words here and there. If you fixed that, this would be just fine.
For example.
okay, wow, this story fell apart almost instantly. Suddenly everyone in town is sitting around snockered out of their minds, blabbing about how they think Twilight is some sort of child abusing psycho? WTF? At what point did Cheerilee and her friends all turn into drunken, bitchy assholes? And bigoted, stupid ones at that?
And damn, author, what the HELL kind of homeschoolers have YOU been hanging out with?
For the record, not only are home schoolers on record as being overwhelmingly better educated than public schooled kids--- routinely blowing them out of the water on the SATs, PSATs, and other standardized tests--- but they're also on record in psychiatric studies stretching over 20 years as being better socialized and generally more emotionally healthy and stable than public schooled kids. Something to do with being socialized by their parents rather than by packs of feral children... (Gods above, when did we start expecting teenagers to civilize one another instead of adults? When did a cross between a union-run idiot factory and the Shawshank Redemption become a substitute for an education and a childhood?) It's the public school kids who are coming out the other end as ignorant, barely civilized spastic freaks, not the homeschoolers.
But perhaps I'm just a trifle bitter about the libelous stereotype.
And DAMN didn't this story get grimdark quick. Daily Daisy and her ill-described pony processing machine... what the HELL was that in reference to? When did quaint-yet-charmingly-eccentric Ponyville turn into Fridge Horror Psycho Central?
And they DON'T KNOW WHO TWILIGHT IS? Celestia stood right in town square in front of them all and made a PROCLAMATION about why she was there. Is everyone in Ponyville supposed to be terminally retarded?
Okay, cute concept: Twilight runs afoul of well-meaning, small-town busybodies. Comedy of errors, sort of thing... But Good LORD you gotta go back and overhaul this chapter. I know the stereotypes about small town communities, but I get the feeling you've never been within a league's march of actual small-town life and are having to cobble together bits and pieces you picked up from pop culture and hollywood stereotypes--- I see influences here ranging everywhere from Mayberry to Deliverance.
I just wanna faceplant here. Twilight's not got a lot of friends, but that was because she didn't feel it was worth her time. Not because she had crippling social anxiety. And Spike may get annoyed at ponies treating him like a baby, but how the HELL does that translate into "goes raging psycho on them?" Answer: It DOESN'T. Equestria's VILLAINS don't go that berserk. Yet you've got him spewing profanities and elitist "you miserable peasant" tirades at a near total stranger at the drop of a hat.
Him snarking that "I've got two degrees, lady" would be in character. And maybe snorting some smoke in annoyance. And I could see her getting a good jump-scare from that.... but this?
You pretty much need to uproot this story and start from scratch.
6065523 trying to push your interpretation of characters onto the author goes against the spirit of this site. Instead of saying they need to rewrite THEIR story because the context doesn't fit into your perception, why don't you use that nifty red "X" on the top right corner of your screen. That way you don't have to read this.
Huh? Imagine that, no one is forcing you to read this.
Flames don't bother me
Praise, constructive criticism, outright hatred, all viable forms of people expressing their opinions. What pisses me off though is when people try to control what others write.
The Universal Rule of Fan fiction. If you don't want to read a story, DONT! You are not obligated too.
6116704 "How dare you render an opinion on something I put up on public display!"
6117129 don't act innocent.
You crossed the line when you said they had to rewrite the story cause their portrayal of spike and twilight was wrong.
That's not an opinion
Ignore the gibbering retard. Please continue this story eventually. I wasn't quite sure what you were going for, but the last chapter made everything clear and then some. Spike's eruption was absolutely hilarious. You should probably add a comedy tag, this seems pretty indicative of a comedy of errors.
6117793 Actually, that is an opinion. What he thinks about something is an opinion. He thinks the story needs to be rewritten due to poor characterization, and that this story has a convoluted plot that really doesn't work well. Which honestly I kind of agree with. This is a badly rendered characterization of well established characters for the sake of a convoluted plot that quite frankly falls apart the more and more you read it and compair it to the characters we know.
6117129 I know, how dare people offer well thought out and constructive criticisms on a public forum. You'd think they were acting like such a feature was there so they could share their opinions. Everyone knows its for blindly giving praise to anything so that we never have to improve as writers by confronting our own weaknesses.
6216083
Not necessarily. If he had said, "I think this should be changed" or "I don't think they are supposed to act that way" or "Maybe you should rewrite" it would have been opinions and a suggestion.
Demanding that it be rewrote cause the author is wrong? That's not an opinion. It doesn't matter if the fic is good or a ridiculous mistake. It belongs to the author and no one else can force their views onto said author. To try to is just wrong.
Especially since fan fiction allows EVERYONE to write their own perspective. So if someone doesn't like how the story is going, they can inform the author of such and/or go wrote their own. Unless you are their employer you can not demand the author change their vision for your own benefit. To me that is actually far worse than any flame could be.
Okay, this whole thing here has been going on long enough. I thought it would have worked itself out.
6065495
Reality Check, I get what you're saying but this fic wasn't about writing characters correctly or ever being more than a gag-reel of silliness and exaggeration. Notice that lovely alternative universe tag. I know that if I wanted to write this story taking its premise seriously, I would have to clean it up and give it an overhaul but this is a gagfic of dramatic character interactions. Miscommunication! Misunderstanding! Al-la-la, like the absurdity of an epic ballad of a person going to the corner store then back but turned up to a ridiculous degree.
Thanks for giving the story a read and I'll keep your advice in mind.
6216309
ChronoMitsurugi, I appreciate you defending the work and my interpretations of the characters but Reality Check is free to have his opinion. Headcanons of Twilight and Spike and Ponyville may differ, that's just life. And no matter what he comments, it's up to me to choose whether or not to follow up on the advice. I only wish Reality Check had been interested in reading All The Pigments of Pink or In The Hundreds and Thousand of Words . Don't you hate it when the wrong story gets such a detailed analysis?
I know I do. It's a waste.
6216083
Why? Why did you have to continue this here? This couldn't have become a private conversation between you two seeing that you guys are talking about subjective things.
Let me be honest here, I've written blogs on this story and I've said, though I didn't mind the eyes on it, I'd rather have people reading my other stuff. My gagfics are generally palette cleaners for the darker stuff I write for fanfiction and original fiction. They are meant to be good for a slow day. This isn't the story to have such conversations on. It has no aspirations to be as such.
As the author, I have SPOKEN. Good day.
6216453 if your okay with this then I shall move on as pertaining to your work.
Yet I still say that Reality Check wasn't stating an opinion but a demand. I would have been okay if they just said they hated the characters. No they had to try and tell you that you must rewrite your story because it didn't go the way they wanted it to.
As an asshole American (Mexican-American) I may not agree with others opinions but I will fight tooth and nail for their right to have an opinion.
Also as a person who edits stories for a living, something that has awarded me financial stability for the last 15 years I know the difference between an opinion and a demand.
Now maybe I am being too harsh. Perhaps it is all a misunderstanding. If Reality Check was a bit more polite I would have even let everything slide. I know I can be stubborn as a jackass so I would like to extend the olive branch and let this matter fall to the wayside.
Hey Reality!
Truce?
6065495 did you not read the this is an au?
6216453 Calling it a "gag reel of silliness" would work as an excuse if it had actually been, you know, funny. It wasn't; it was just jarring and unpleasant. Caricature consists of more than just drawing a picture of someone and making it ugly as possible, and the AU tag isn't a free pass to ignore that.
6296028
Are you bored or something?
Our last conversation was three weeks ago and I acknowledged your advice, what more do you want?
This story was written way back when to get myself out of a writing funk. I think it kinda shows, doesn't it? It's not my problem if this is the story that everyone wants to read, I've written other crap but some reason this still gets upvotes and faves while sitting in my backlist. I don't know why they like it but I'm aware that they do. It's like half the reason why I haven't messed with it because I don't want to lose whatever charm it has.
This is not the best Twilight Sparkle story I've written and I do believe that there are plenty of other stories that might be better suited for you.
So again, I say, The AUTHOR HAS SPOKEN. Good day.
6296560
0/10 needs more homophobia.
If you put some homophobia in this story, RealityCheck will approve of it.
5414464
You can't trust that event! I mean, Bonbon claims to have seen it twice, from two different angles, but with the same two mares beside her, and almost nopony had cutie marks that day!
Ever gonna get any updates?