XXXVI. Lower Mora'gryph, Kingdom of Gryphonia. August, 1252.
Lower Mora'gryph, Kingdom of Gryphonia. August, 1252.
Scootaloo walked down the little dirt path, her wings twitching all the while. Each time a pony walked out from behind a tent, she flinched. She couldn't recall having been so nervous. In an hour, she would set out on her first official sortie for the Army of Northern Equestria. And before that...well. She would have an answer to the last three nights of sleepless wondering.
She arrived at Sweetie Belle's little tent, and then stopped. She ran through her little scripts in her head. Well, Sweetie Belle, you told me to... no, no, too passive. Maybe something like, I'm about to head out, and I wanted to... no, this is her idea, I should acknowledge that. Perhaps, “Sweetie Belle, I'm heading out and I want to know if you love me because I think I might love you?” No, way too direct. Maybe...
“Oh...wow.” A trembling voice came from inside the tent. “Okay. Well, come in, Scootaloo.” Scootaloo felt briefly nauseous. Aw, buckin' A, that last one was out loud, wasn't it? Well, time to mare up. She adjusted her cap, and walked in.
Sweetie Belle sat on her cot, an officer's cap sitting awkwardly on her fluffy mane. “Hi, Scootaloo,” she said, smiling nervously. She shifted over to one side of the cot. “Sit down, please.”
“Um...okay,” Scootaloo said, her courage evaporating. “I didn't mean to...”
“It's okay,” she said. She swung her feet over the side of the bed, and kicked them awkwardly. “Neither did I.”
Scootaloo looked confused for a second, then realized the mistake. “Oh, no! I was talking about what I just said outside.”
“Oh. Was it true though?”
“Well...I guess.”
Sweetie Belle sighed heavily. “...oh. I'm sorry, Scootaloo.”
Scootaloo felt her heart sink. “What do you mean?”
“Well,” she began, then stopped.
Scootaloo waited. Sweetie Belle said nothing.
“Well, what?”
Nothing.
“Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo insisted. “'Well,' what?”
Sweetie Belle's eyes began to tear up. “I don't know, Scootaloo. I led you on and I don't know why.”
“What do you mean you led me on? I don't get it. I thought you were pretty clear. Were you lying?”
“No!” Sweetie Belle looked horrified. “No, no, no. Everything I said was true. I really do like you, a lot. You're my best friend in the world and I really don't want you to ever get hurt and I want to be friends with you forever and I really do want you to think about me before you do something that might hurt you because I really would be really really hurt if you got hurt. And you said you were going to go and put yourself in danger and I was really really scared you'd go and do something dumb!”
“But...” Scootaloo said, her face still betraying confusion. “But you acted like...like you liked me differently. Like you...you know.”
“I know! I don't know why!” She wiped her wet eyes. “Maybe I just wanted to make sure you'd listen to me!”
“But how did you know I'd...you know? I think having your best friend, like, hit on you would creep out most fillies, Sweetie Belle. And I mean...oh, Celestia, I don't know. I thought for sure...”
Sweetie curled into a little upright ball, and peeked over her knees.“Well... it's not like it's a secret, Scootaloo. I've noticed how you look at me.”
Scootaloo shook her head. “What? I haven't—I haven't—whatever you're saying I did! I haven't thought anything like that—not until you started flirting with me!”
“Sure you have,” she sniffed. “Ever since I got my cutie mark.”
“Well, yeah, that changed some things,” Scootaloo said, her temper rising, “but it didn't mean I, like, loved you or anything.”
“But you just said you did. Outside the tent. That couldn't have just started.”
“Well maybe I do and maybe I did!” Scootaloo threw up her hooves in agitation. “I don't know! I didn't think I did but then you acted weird and then I thought I did and now you're saying it was a trick and I don't know anything!”
“...yeah,” Sweetie said. “I don't know. But...it was wrong of me to make you think I did. Really wrong of me. I...I don't want to date you, Scootaloo.”
Scootaloo felt like she had been slapped in the face. She stared at Sweetie Belle, as if the next words out of her mouth might take the last ones back.
“I'm sorry, Scootaloo. But I really don't want to date you. I don't even think I like girls...like...like I guess, like you like girls. You're a good friend and I want you to stay safe and I feel really connected to you but...I think that's it.”
Scootaloo's heart dropped out. She felt her body begin to shake. And she put a hoof around Sweetie Belle's head, and guided her face to her own. And she kissed Sweetie Belle, an awkward kiss with mouth closed, her eyes squeezed shut, tears wetting the fur of both faces.
She dropped her hoof. Sweetie Belle didn't move, forward or backwards. Scootaloo pulled her head back a few inches and opened her eyes. Sweetie Belle was silent and stationary.
“I'm sorry,” Scootaloo whispered.
“Don't be,” Sweetie Belle whispered back. “But don't do that any more. I guess I owed you that for what I did. But we're even now, okay?”
“...okay,” Scootaloo said, her head swimming. “Can I kiss you again?”
“No,” Sweetie Belle said. “We're even. No more kissing.”
“How about on the cheek?”
“No, Scootaloo. No more.”
Scootaloo looked down at the floor. “So...not ever?”
“Probably not, no.”
“Probably not? So maybe yes?” She glanced up.
“I don't know, Scootaloo!” She seemed gripped by a sudden anger, and gestured wildly as she spoke.“I don't think so but I don't understand everything, okay? I'm new at all this and so are you and I don't know everything I'm feeling and what it all means but I'm pretty sure I don't want you to kiss me and I'm really sure I don't want to date you! I want to be friends with you and really good friends but that's all I want, really!” She took a deep breath, then calmed a bit. “Really. Is that okay?”
Scootaloo looked back down. She thought—or tried to. Then she said, “yes,” that word alone, and hoisted herself to her feet.
“Wait,” Sweetie Belle said. “We're still friends, right?”
Scootaloo said nothing, and left the tent.
“Wait! Please wait!” The tent flap fell shut.
Sweetie Belle fell back on her cot.
---
Scootaloo trudged onwards through the green-and-grey karst field, her hooves clopping against the exposed sheets of rock and pressing into the soft dirt. She kept her head down as she walked—partially to shield her eyes from the rising sun, but mostly out of misery.
She didn't understand it. A week ago she hadn't thought of Sweetie Belle as anything but a friend, and she had cherished that friendship. Now the thought of only being friends with Sweetie Belle seemed like a daily torture. Was this how it was supposed to go with love? Was this how it was for everypony else? And for that matter, was she in love or was this some stupid other thing? Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
She kept trying to focus on the mission: searching for tracks, for broken grass, for the tell-tale scent of char and smoke signifying that a fire had been nearby, for any other sign of enemy activity. But she couldn't think of anything but Sweetie: Sweetie sitting on that cot, explaining that it was all an accident or a trick or some other thing, Sweetie saying that despite everything she had made her feel, they couldn't be together after all. And why did she kindle that desire in Scootaloo if she never intended to fulfill it? What kind of friend does that?
A butterfly flitted across under Scootaloo's nose: a bright purple-and-blue one. She watched it as it fluttered left, and then right, and then landed on her snout. She gently reached for it, but it effortlessly flitted around her hoof, and then settled again on her snout. She reached for it again; again it danced around her attempts to touch it. She narrowed her eyes, and grabbed at it more quickly. Again she was denied, and again it landed on her snout. She snorted, and flicked her snout up, sending the insect into the air. She then leaped at it, but it tumbled under her, and she landed a good two feet in front of it. She spun around and dived at it again, and this time it fluttered back, staying just out of reach. She jumped at it again and again, and each time it managed to flit just out of her grasp. Finally she screamed in frustration, and recklessly charged at it; the butterfly zipped away and out of sight, and she tripped wildly over a large rock hidden in the tall grass, and her face smashed into the dirt.
She lay where she fell for some time.
She was on her back, sadly watching a cloud drift through the sky, when she heard voices. Gryphon voices. She rolled over, as quietly as she could, flicking the dirt off her wingfeathers.
“Look,” one of them said, “I don't care if you're tired, because we're going to have to pick up the damned pace. We've got another fifty lion villages to hit, and the Mare is already sending her propaganda teams all over the place.”
“C'mon, man, I'm tired as heck. We been walkin' a week straight, and we ain't had nothin' to eat but lion cookin', and that's worse than what your mom feeds me the mornings after I screw 'er.”
“Then you should do a better job of it,” a third gryphon said. “She always gives me nice, juicy mutton.”
“Yeah, 'course she does,” the second one laughed, “but we're talkin' bout food.”
“Shut it, Gordon,” the first gryphon snapped. “And you too, Rollie. I don't care what either of you wingless wonders think.”
“It's Roland, Sarge, and my wings are fine.”
“Your name is whatever I feel like it is. Keep it up and you'll be Beth.”
“Well, Rollie reportin' for duty, then.”
“Damn straight," the sergeant said conclusively.
There was a pause. Scootaloo lifted her head, slowly, to watch them through the grasses.
“Your mom's still a whore, though,” Rollie said.
“Real funny, Beth,” the sergeant growled.
“Hey, guess what? Your mom called me lotsa things, too. She called me her little pony, in fact. Guess why? Hey, here's a hint, it's not cause I have hooves.”
“Beth, shut the hell up.”
“Want another hint? It's because she loves my big--”
There was a sharp crack as the sergeant slapped Rollie, who tumbled to the ground. Scootaloo winced. The sergeant then reared back on his hind feet, and kicked one of them into Rollie's stomach. Rollie gasped for air on the ground. Gordon watched with wide eyes.
“Now look here, Beth,” the sergeant shouted. “I don't know what they teach you overgrown cubs in whatever worthless pile of rocks you call your home mountain, but you're in the army now, and that means either got to grow some discipline or I've got to beat some into you. Now which'll it be?”
Rollie coughed. “I'll be good, Sarge.”
“Damn straight you will,” he spat. “That goes for you too, Gordon.”
“Yeah, a'course,” Gordon said with eyes wide.
“Now, let's start over, huh? The Grey Mare wants to hand our ancestral lands to the goddamned lions. So we've got to get them out of her path, or else they'll tear your momma to ribbons and make your sister into some lion's prostitute if she wants to eat. So let's show some hustle, huh? Cause I guarantee you that the Grey Mare isn't going to take a nice weekend fishing trip any time soon. I said hustle, Beth, get up already.”
“I still don't understand why we don't just kill 'em,” Gordon muttered. “Bandin 'em together seems like it'll backfire.”
“Well, we're not ponies, are we? I don't see any hooves on me, do you? No. We're gryphons, and the lions are our guests. And gryphons don't murder their guests out of convenience. Besides, they're more useful to us this way. They go down through the eastern coastline past Manehattan, and suddenly we've got an army in their homeland.”
“Yeah, but what if they defect?”
“You're sayin' the ponies wouldn't attack an army of forty thousand lions?”
“Yeah, I am. What if the lions switch over?”
“Then the ponies have to figure out how they're gonna feed forty thousand predators in the middle of their homeland, now don't they? Either way we win.”
“Sure thing, sarge.”
The gryphons began walking again. Scootaloo waited until they were a good distance away, and then began creeping in the opposite direction. She hadn't found an encampment, no, but surely the General would want to hear about this. A counter-invasion down the eastern border? Lions being evacuated into invading armies? They'd have to--
--suddenly, she heard a familiar high-but-strong voice ringing over a hill.
To arms, my ponies!
Form our batallions!
March on! March on!
And we shall free, our Equestria!
Scootaloo immediately began sprinting towards the voice, her wings propelling her forward, as she juked and jumped around and over rocks and boulders. At last she found Sweetie Belle, tackled her, and then held a hoof over her mouth.
“MZMMNLNN!” Sweetie tried to shout.
“Shhh,” Scootaloo hissed. “It'll be a miracle if they didn't hear you! What the heck are you doing out here? And whisper it!” She lifted her hoof off Sweetie Belle's mouth, but left it hovering as if she might need to plug her friend up again.
“Well,” Sweetie Belle whispered as she sat up, “you seemed really upset and I didn't want you to do anything dumb, so I found out where you were going and then came after you to let you know I still really cared about you.”
“How did you—but then how did you—how,” Scootaloo whispered back.
“Well, when you told me you enlisted so did I, and some things happened fast and now I'm Lieutenant Belle of the Propaganda Department. See?” She picked up her hat off the ground, and plopped it back on her head. “It's pretty much just what I was doing already, only now I'm getting a few bits a week for it and soldiers have to call me ma'am.” She giggled. “So then I went over to the reconnaissance tent and convinced some colt there to let me see your assignment.”
Scootaloo shook her head. “You wouldn't have clearance for that.”
Sweetie smiled, and fluffed her pastel mane with a hoof. “I think you'd be surprised what I can do to some ponies nowadays. I just smile and act real sweet and then they...” Then she blushed. “Oh! Um. No. I didn't mean you. Oh, no, Scootaloo, I'm sorry, I—oh. Oops.”
“Don't worry about it,” Scootaloo said sharply. “I—”
There was a rustling noise.
“Oh, man,” the pegasus whispered. “It's the gryphons. Okay, Sweetie, I'll distract 'em, you get the buck outta here. And look, I have something I need to tell you, that you can't forget, okay?”
Sweetie bit a lip. “Scoot, I know that, I already...”
“No! Listen to me! It's about the lions and—aw, buck a duck.” A gryphon emerged from the tall grass. “Run!”
“You're right,” Gordon shouted, “there was a pony singin' over here! I found 'em!” Sweetie Belle's eyes went wide, and she took off running as the gryphon curled his spine to pounce on her.
Scootaloo pawed the ground. She was about to leap at the gryphon, when she saw a purple-and-blue butterfly out of the corner of her eye, hovering between two little yellow flowers. She narrowed her eyes at the damned little thing--and then smiled.
Scootaloo leaped into the air, shouting, “hey hey hey!” Gordon's attention snapped towards Scootaloo. She winked at him, then flitted closer, right in front of him. He jumped to grab her, but she let herself drop underneath him, and kicked gently at him as he soared over her. Another gryphon—Rollie—came out of the grass, and launched into flight. Scootaloo began to slowly glide away, watching him the whole time. Rollie came charging in at half speed, but just before impact she snapped her wings, popped a foot to the side, and slapped him gently with a hoof as he went by.
By this point Gordon had gotten back to his feet, and charged at Scootaloo again, and again flung himself at her, this time harder than the last time. Again she sidestepped him, then did a midair cartwheel, repositioning her to jump off Rollie's skull as he came swooping in again, faster than before. For nearly a minute the three danced like this; the two gryphon soldiers charging ever-faster at Scootaloo; the pegasus floating and flitting and spinning and dancing as if the laws of momentum did not apply to her, always appearing within grasp yet always staying just out of reach.
Yet though she seemed to be bouncing about randomly, she kept a close eye on where she was, and a close eye on where they were. Rollie came diving in, his rage outpacing his caution, and Scootaloo again sidestepped him—yet this time instead of swooping past her, through the grass, and into the air, he streaked past her, through the grass, and into a half-concealed boulder. Gordon heard the crack of bone on rock, and he turned his head in time to see the orange pony deliver a coup-de-grace with a hoof.
He, too, charged at her, now in a blind fury. And this time, as she stepped aside, she kicked the side of his head with all her strength. He tumbled to the ground, unable to recover, and rolled to a stop. The gryphon grabbed his head with a talon, and tried to pick himself off the ground. Yet before he could, he saw the purple-maned pegasus soar over to his side. She glared at him, muttered something he didn't understand, then ended him with three sharp hind-kicks to the skull.
Scootaloo looked around. There had been three. Yet she had fought only two. She listened, but heard nothing. She jumped into the air, and began scanning around.
She felt a sharp pain in her leg, and the ground flew up to meet her. She crashed hard, cracking her body on a rock. She tried to get up, but her legs hurt far too much to move. She opened her eyes, and with great effort lifted her head. A short spear had pierced through her thigh and into gut, blood pouring from the points of entry. She dropped her head back to the ground.
Almost immediately a gryphon stood over her. “You're a clever one,” he said. “Certainly more clever than those worthless recruits. But you're not a soldier, are you? You're a child.”
“I'm not a child,” Scootaloo coughed, then spat out a mouthful of blood. “Haven't been for years.” She stared at him, eye to eye. “I'm a soldier.”
“Well then, soldier. I confess you'd be the first pony I've killed. I was hoping for a more formidable enemy.”
“I killed...two of yours,” Scootaloo coughed out. “And you kill a child?” She raised her head, and spat another mouthful of blood, this one landing on him. “Two to one. I win.” She dropped her head back down. “Now hurry up. This hurts.”
“Brave. Proud. Thank you for assuaging my guilt.” He pulled out the spear, and drove it forward again.
Yet this time, it missed her body entirely, cracking into the rock. And he tumbled to the ground, a white pony standing on his chest.
“Cover your ears, Scootaloo,” she yelled.
And then her horn glowed, and she screeched—one high sustained note, sung with a hundred voices, piercing and ringing. Scootaloo groaned in pain. The gryphon bent double and covered his ears with both claws. And then Sweetie Belle turned, and with a series of kicks to the forehead easily crushed the gryphon's unprotected skull.
She immediately ran over to Scootaloo's side.
“Thank you for saving me,” she unicorn said breathlessly.
“Don't mention it,” the pegasus replied.
“I'm sorry about the noise.”
Scootaoo raised her eyebrows. 'Yeah, that hurt. I didn't know you could do that.” She opened her eyes wider, as if trying to see something.
“It's a chorus," Sweetie Belle said, forcing enthusiasm. "It came with the cutie mark.”
“Hey...I'm kinda dying, I think," Scootaloo said quietly. "I'm feeling a little lightheaded and you're hard to hear.”
“Oh, Scootaloo, no, oh—“
“—look, what I was trying to say was...well, was that the lions are moving with the east and they're moving to the together...and...the lions...and...Mane...hatta...”
Sweetie looked around in panic. Scootaloo fell quiet.
“No you don't,” Sweetie Belle shouted. “No you bucking don't!” Her horn glowed, and she tore the uniform off the gryphon sergeant, and mocked up bandages and a tourniquet. And then she put little balls of cloth in Scootaloo's ears, and her horn glowed again, and she shouted for help with a hundred voices.
---
The tent was nearly empty. There was just Nurse Redheart, a heartbroken white unicorn, and an unthinking, unmoving pegasus.
“Is she dead?” Sweetie Belle asked. Nurse Redheart didn't answer. “Oh, I shouldn't have followed her,” the unicorn wailed. “It was so dumb of me!”
“Yeah,” Nurse Redheart said in a dry voice. “It was really, really dumb.”
Sweetie looked up at her, with tears in her eyes. “Oh,” she said plaintively, “why would you say something like that?”
“Because it was.” Sweetie blinked. Nurse Redheart's lips weren't moving, and she shook her head in confusion. Sweetie Belle looked back at Scootaloo.
The orange pony's eyes were still shut. “But who cares. Give me some water already,” the pegasus said, her voice raspy and forced. “I need water.”
“You're not dead?!” Sweetie shouted.
“I feel like it,” Scootaloo croaked. “Where's my water?”
Nurse Redheart ran off with a mumbled apology, fetched a pitcher of water, and brought it to Scootaloo. Sweetie both levitated the pitcher and lifted Scootaloo's head, and the pegasus drank.
“I'm so sorry,” Sweetie Belle said. “Oh, I'm so sorry, for everything, oh I've been so stupid in so many ways Scootaloo, I just—”
“Shut up,” Scootaloo said in a rattling voice. “The gryphons...are rounding up the lions and gathering them...into an army, and are going to invade along...the...eastern border so we don't use them against the gryphons...go tell the General.”
“It's okay. She knows. There were lots of documents on the bodies of the gryphons we killed.”
“I killed,” Scootaloo corrected.
“I killed one too. The one who threw the spear at you.”
“Oh. Yeah. Okay. Thanks.”
There was a silence. Nurse Redheart quietly excused herself.
“Hey, um, Scootaloo? I just thought you should know...”
Scootaloo shook her head sadly. “Sweetie Belle, you don't love me. Please don't pretend because you feel bad.”
“No, dummy. Not that. Look at your flank.”
Scootaloo tried to move her head to see her flank. She couldn't make it that far; her neck was too stiff. She realized that most of her limbs had been immobilized anyway—except, oddly enough, for the one that had been hit by the spear.
“Oh, right!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, dashing to a supply trunk. “You're hurt. I'll get you a mirror.”
She came bounding back, and held the mirror so Scootaloo could see her hip. There, on the orange fur, was an image of a blue-and-purple butterfly between two yellow flowers.
“See! Your cutie mark,” Sweetie Belle bubbled. “And you got it because you're a really good flier and you saved me! I was so worried you'd die before you saw it!”
Scootaloo put her head back down. “Oh, man,” she whimpered. “Rainbow Dash will so make fun of me when she finds out I've got pretty much the same thing as Fluttershy.” Sweetie Belle sadly lowered the mirror.
Then Scootaloo thought a bit, and smiled to herself. “Well...actually...” she said, then looked back at Sweetie Belle. “I guess it was pretty awesome how it happened. Do you think I could take another look at it?”
Sweetie Belle grinned and raised the mirror again. Scootaloo contentedly examined her little butterfly until she fell back asleep.
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Scootaloo's butterfly is her G3 design.
Because even when ponies get their cutie marks during a war, they still have to be cute.
Great........Derpy's plans to liberate the lions ran hard into the reality of the Gryphon King having had more practice being a bastard. That and Sweetie Belle having killed someone aren't going to make Rarity her fan any time soon.
God dammit you have no idea how badly I want to create an alt p.o.v story based off of this gloriosly done story and the world entrapped in it. Now I'm busy with my own story at the moment but could I have your blessing If I were to consider starting such a story say today?
172309
Go for it. The way I see it, considering it's fanfiction that draws on fanon, I only "created" like 3% of this story anyway. Merrily taking 97% from others and then being hyper-protective of the 3% would be silly.
Aaaaah BALLS TO IT! Balls to it, I say!
This will set back the campaign a great deal. I am fairly certain Derpy will have quite some trouble getting through to the lions now. Convincing them to join is hard enough, but at the same time telling them "Oh and sorry, we have nothing to eat for you, so we need to get to your homeland very fast in oder to even let you survive".... nope. The lions are tough bastards. I don't think they will take it well.
As far as characters go... very cute :) Positively heartwarming to see Scoots finally getting her cutiemark. Dance like butterlfly, sting like bee... ;)
And Sweetie Bell is very kindhearted but absolutely lacks in the "being a rational, responsible adult"-department. Seems to run in the family.
Can't wait for Big Mac to finally get back to Derpy.
172318
You're fucking awesome. I'm already 500 words into it and its going beautifully
... Did you just have Scootaloo get a cutie mark based on 'float like a butterfly..'? Admittedly, in the context, it makes pretty damn good sense. But really? Something _that_ cliche? I must admit I am surprised.
Also, whilst it was nice of you to get that shipping thing sorted out before she went off to fight... just no. You are evil. And the truly evil thing? You left the shipping angle so open that it can easily come back into play. Oh - and you had two fillies (yes, sure, it's been two years. But even so, that makes them, what? 13? 14?) actually go and kill things. So now we get to deal with the pychological effects of them being killers, too.
I'd rail at the Gray Mare for letting them enlist, but, let's me honest. She's the commander of an army - sure Sweetie may have been pulling her weight as regards to morale, but Scootaloo? Nothing - she was a complete drain on resources. Having her enlist, even if only in a low risk position, makes sense. And it is low risk - had it not been for Sweetie screwing things up, those Griffons probably wouldn't have even realised they had been spotted until a pegasi task group dropped out of the sky on top of them. Or until the lions at the next village slaughtered them. Whatever the Gray Mare thought best.
Regardless of any complaints I may have, however, I am positively enthralled by this fic, and so I implore you to not leave the next update too long.
I hate you by the way. I was about to go to sleep at 4am last night when I saw that this story was updated. I was too tired to read it at that point, so I laid in bed, mentally going through what probably happened.
And when I woke up this morning to read it, I wish I stayed up
That said, I like how you finally spent time with the CMC (I feel dirty for saying that), especially now that they are doing something, and not just hanging with the army. And I was afraid Scoot would lose that leg (thought still possible).
But yeah, great update my friend
172381
Really, I don't think interpreting her G3 mark as being a signifier of agility and elusiveness is considerably unoriginal. I am certain the interpretation has been done before--it's kind of obvious--but I personally haven't come across it, though I have of course come across plenty of aged-up Scootaloo art with that cutie mark. I promise that if it's a Scootacliche then it's one I've included accidentally. And if the complaint of unoriginality is just because of the phrase "float like a butterfly," well, yeah, that was obviously part of the inspiration, but seeing as you've got things like "lightning fast" for Rainbow Dash's canonical mark, or the fact that over half of the characters have marks that are straight-up depictions of their name, I don't think it's particularly offensive.
I dunno. I've done a lot of lazy, cliched stuff all over the place in this fic, and I'll cop to that. I've made mistakes out of poor judgement, and I've made plenty of lazy unthinking mistakes too. And while I'm not thrilled with the execution of this chapter in plenty of places, I'm quite happy with the construction related to the Scootie-mark.
Not only was her talent foreshadowed twice in the previous chapter, but the butterfly itself served as a clear parallel to her frustrations regarding Sweetie Belle's actions. In that context I was especially pleased with how the butterfly was a plot driver: Scootaloo's despondence and frustration over the butterfly (that is to say, Sweetie Belle) was the reason she successfully overheard (I mean Scoutalooed) the Gryphons, and the butterfly's reminder of her own frustration taught her a smarter way to Scootafight than she demonstrated in her previous Scootattempt to save her friend Sweetie Belle from three gryphons. She realized that by frustrating and eluding, she could turn her small size into a Scootadvantage. Her mark isn't only a signifier of her superb Scootagility (itself a takeoff of her idol's superb speed), but also a signifier of her ponyish realization that she must consider who she is when doing things instead of playing a Scootarole.
I know I do lots of dumb things when writing (looking through my old chapters I'm constantly cringing), and while I might just be over-protective of recent work in this case, I really do like how I mapped out the Scootie-mark and the Scootabelle situation, and I Scootastand behind Scootaboth 100 percent.
Er, Scootapercent.
172430
Well, yes, actually, I was merely complaining about the 'float like a butterfly' thing. Because it's the first time I've noticed you using such a horrible cliche - and if I noticed it, either you're talking in my speciality field (which, by the way, is most definitely _not_ humour), or it's just _that_ bad/cliche.
As I said, the reasoning behind it makes perfect sense, and if that's the G3 cutiemark, even more so.
Finally - ow, that Hurricane of Puns was just pure torture. I take it Subtlety just flew out the nearest window whilst you typed that part?
172430
I understand the difficulty of writing original stories, and I would be lying if I said I did not notice how you used every low-down trick to move the plot along and develop characters. I rewriting the beginning of my novel for the twentieth time just because I still have not found a way of introducing the characters in a way that best reflects the philosophy of the story.
Now that I got my first chapter almost done, I will be uploading within the week.
172430
If you use the prefix Scoota- on another word, I'm going to feed you to Spike
I love how you turned the feared CMC relationship into a plot driving recoil.
Also if the Gray Mare can capture an enemy fficer with the plans stating it was a suicide mission for the lions, that may be enough to convince them to turn around and try to liberate their farms and lands.
I was all for the shipping, but... this is good too.
172430
Oh good, one more Scootapun and my brain would have Scootasploded.
You truely know you are a good writer when you can cause physical discomfort just by typing a couple of paragraphs. OUCH.
:D
Did anyone else's heart stop when Scootaloo was impaled?
Loud voice of death? Hmmmm, seems like something that would come in MIGHTY handy during a battle (barring friendly fire). If it's a special talent then I'm all for it but if it's something that every unicorn could know (Heartstrings) then you have some 'splaining to do.
All in all, major developments are on route. I, physically, can wait for the next chapter but it won't be easy.
I want to know what Butterfly-related catch phrase Scootaloo said to Gordon.
Also: Poor Beth.....
I think emkaji mentioned before that a lot of combat spells were only useful when used by certain unicorns, and it probably has to be at really close range before it does anything but annoy people. That said, Rarity was blowing people's brains out with magic bullets on her one stint on the front lines, so there's probably a lot of combat magic that isn't being used because unicorns don't like getting their hooves dirty.
...and what's so bad about 'float like a butterfly' anyway? It's not like she *said* it or something. She just did it.
Now this is suspense!
Damn, was my heart pounding! Yay, Scootaloo!
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I don't know. There are a lot of stories on this site that cause me physical harm out of reading them (and not for the good reasons)
......uhhh sorry wrong pic i thought i had another one wait give me a sec
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1174_S3rlk.gif
there you go
http://cdn.overclock.net/5/5d/5d0a5eb4_mother-of-god-super-troopers.jpeg
i feel awkward
Scootaloo stuck in the friendzone
173666
Wouldn't've worked anyway - kinda works like a Raribow ship, in that someone has to change and neither of them are old enough or mature enough to change the other or themselves. While I appreciate that shipping those two would cause a whole heap of love-in-a-time-of-war d'awwwws, I don't want either of them to be heartbroken and then make a mistake in a pitched battle. And then die.
A disappointing lack of grey ponies with blonde manes, but still a good chap. Can't wait to see if our beloved General can turn the lions.
Do you think love can bloom, even on a battlefield? *bricked*
This was amazing.
go Scoots!
Just wondering about the whole mutton thing...
Thanks to the sisterhooves social, we know that sheep are intelligent (or at least capable of speech) in the cannon setting. If sheep are intelligent in this setting, does that mean the Griffons are okay with killing and consuming intelligent creatures? and what would that, by extension, mean that any intelligent species is on the menu?
I get the feeling that Pinkie and Scoots might be in the same boat now.
I'm betting the reason her impaled leg feels fine is because of the whole "Phantom Limb" thing... Scootamputee!
Geez I hope i'm wrong...
Oh, beautiful chapter by the way. I feel bad for Sweetie Belle because I had to explain something similar to that not too long ago... It didn't end very well
shit.. i think i just spent about 10 hours readin all of these chapters..I REGRET NOTHING
..time for sleep me thinks :)
I have no words for this.
Also, now i'm going to have a hard time getting up tomorrow thanks to your glorious fic keeping me up. As with the other readers, I REGRET NOTHING!!!!11111
>Not that great an artist, but better then most
I'm very tempted to do a landscape drawing of the suicide-bomber scene. Although I'm not quite sure where to start...
...any ideas?
202414
Because I would love to see this I will give you what I imagined:
A vast, open field, covered in short grass, the sun high in the sky, gleaming brightly. The whole scene is observed from a very low perspective, with soldiers standing in line formation in the foreground, and the actual action going on above and in the background, while we see soldiers with tears in their eyes looking on, huge balls of fire, smoke and smoldering feathers illuminating the sky...
Maybe have some pegasi strap on the vests below, ready for takeoff, badly injured, with bled-through bandages, crying silently but with a grim, determind look on their faces.
Also... updates? :)
212828
Atually, I've already got a rough sketch down.
Several explosions in the background, both on the ground and in the air destroying the enemy lines.
Perspective is from that of the enemy artillery, and gryphons are shouting at each other.
A sick, injured Pegasus floats ominously in front of them, the trigger in her mouth.
Eye contact is made between her and the gryphons as they try desperately to aim the cannon at her.
All I need to do is learn how the hell to draw a gryphon.
213164
For griffons in the stone cold killer-spectrum of badassery I can recommend you the fanart to Fallout: Equestria. Gawdyna Grimfeathers was her name if I recall correctly, I have seen some nightmarishly good drawings there.
I
you, could we get an ETA on the next chapter? And do you plan on having a set number of chapters?
Withdrawls. I'm having them. Read this chapter twice. Confound this crack fic, its been 15 days since I've had the last fix. And this is deffinitely one of the longer breaks. Oh well. Just means the next chapter is gonna be epic!
eighteen days. Mega fic withdrawal.
^^^^^^^^^ what he said
wow, only 18 days? Really? It seems so much longer. I need my General Hooves fix.
This story Scootapwnz!
Can't wait....I need more Total war NOOOWWWW!!
I understand that the author is trying to be vague about the "religious" reasons for the Gryphons' invading Equestria, but...that is precisely the one thing on the Gryphons' list of motivations that I don't give a shit about either way. That might be a strange thing to say, considering the potential suffering of souls in the afterlife, but I think the Gryphons' ship has sailed on that moral high ground when they gave a soul-destroying artifact to a crazed avatar of Chaos. And if any single random real world religious belief has an equal chance of being right when it comes to ways to harm souls, then every single lifestyle ever lived by anybody has possibly made them spiritually dead zombies. Of maybe your soul got stolen by a photographer or something.
No. The thing that hasn't been answered yet (even by Derpy during the scene with Broadwings) is: what if the expansion, whether accidential or not, of Equestria's altered environments are true? That actually means that eventually, Equestria will have to conquer the world to know peace. Which is to say it could easily never know peace ever again now that this ball has started rolling.
And yet. I can't paint Derpy as the bad guy here if that's the case. A bad guy, perhaps, but not THE bad guy. Of course, the thing is: Big Mac is also wrong. Yes, you heard me. There is a difference between merely sounding wise and actually knowing a damn thing.
-Which you cannot do if Equestria threatens even the new "Lion-ruled" Gryphonia. Your whole plan relies on the Lions never ever feeling compelled to invade. If the Gryphon king was simply insane or mistaken about Gryphons being forced to evacuate their territory which ponies then move in because they can farm the land and other creatures can't....Then yes, you win and write history that he was just a crazy tyrant and nobody questions you because nobody ever has a problem again.
If, on the other hand, your "Lion Rebellon" fails and you are forced to occupy Gryphonia, or even if your presence speeds up the "Harmonization" of the Gryphon lands even if you do succeed. These are questions that really need to be answered. Is there anything you can do? You might not be able to secure any peace unless you negotiate a peace that leaves an area of "Dead land" that no pony is allowed to settle so that Equestria' borders do not expand any further.
But...you tried to get those answers. The conversation kind of trailed off subject on whether this encroachment is actually happening a little before Broadwings, you know, DIED. But...really, you deserve credit. Anybody who says you've fallen to the Dark Side at this point is simply jumping the gun. The war might be eating your soul, but whatever you have left is in my estimation still trying to do the closest approximation of "the right thing" as any military leader in a situation like yours can be expected to manage. Its just this one piece of information that is SUPER CRITICAL, that I would be going insane trying to get my hands on, which is needed to actually understand the problem enough to be able to see what the real options are.
I mean, maybe the King is right, not only about Equestria, but Celestia. That means that if Screwball succeeds (and kindly fucks off afterward...), then all of Equestria becomes "natural" again and there is no longer anything to fight about except to discourage Gryphonia from launching another invasion (which I sadly believe is the reason you are going through with this in the first place, because their history of staying beat isn't very good). Derpy, you can still go and knock His Dreadful Majesty off of his proud, high, perch into the abyss below, but he will be laughing all the way down.
-This isn't an answer either. And I would like to take a moment to apologize to Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie...and also Rarity because she looks like she's about to die of overwork... about this as well (I'm so sorry. It's not that you have a chance for peace and Twilight and the others are just pissing on it, it's that Equestria really might be eating the rest of the world, and a lasting peace simply isn't on the table. Worse, just like the Empire, Gryphonia loves to Strike Back, AND they have newly rekindled religious zealotry against Equestria's "imbalance".)
Sigh...let's assume that Equestria really is eating the rest of the world and there's nothing you can really do about it and its not even Celestia that's causing it, but ponies, period. This would threaten to doom all ponykind to either conquer the world or maybe one day face a war of extermination. An ignorant and brutal enough enemy might engage in said genocide just to be "Safe."
"Ponies' homes are worth protecting?" But what if those pony homes are built on the ruins of Gryphon homes? Natives move out, Ponies move in, until inevitable counter attacks start. Then ponies defend their home and soon all the world is like that without ever "officially" invading.
So, your plan is JUST as likely to turn Equestria into the "Grand Pony Imperium" as Derpy's is. Conquer the world proactively like Hooves, or conquer it reactively like Macintosh. The TINY, INSIGNIFICANT factiod that the ponies are never the "aggressor" in the conventional sense doesn't change the fact that this is a horrible situation to be in. So that's why you are kind of a bad guy. But you are also kind of a dick.
Big Mac, the really bad thing you did to Derpy (aside from humiliate her in front of her men and fail to give her the benefit of the doubt-all because you were tired of doing that weren't you? I could bitch at you for that, but well, the "job" you with Derpy has, in its own way, all the soul-crushing misery of being a "good" general without the freedom or the place in the history books.) was something I don't think you are aware you actually did:
You said she didn't love her daughter.
You don't remember saying that? Let me refresh your memory:
"That you got no clue what you are except the queen of this murder machine, and once it stops murderin' you ain't got nothin' left?"
She would have Dinky. She might be dreading what Dinky will think about her, or if the war has completely destroyed the part of her that was Dinky's mother...but. Dinky's out there right now with the other refugees, with no parent that is specifically hers. If the war ends right now, Derpy could go back to her and be with her. And she knows this. And she STILL is going ahead and leading the invasion.
You just said that the reason she's throwing away the chance to be with her baby is because she doesn't care anymore! But what if she does care? What if the one pony who she is screaming at the loudest to get back in line and obey the wisdom of the Grey Mare-is herself?
Because she doesn't want to see General Dinky Hooves. Or even Private Dinky Hooves or Starving Refugee Dinky Hooves. But it goes beyond that. If you just sit on your ass and wait for them to invade again, and you don't even look for ANSWERS...or even vindication for Equestria in the eyes of the world, then Equestria's peaceful days might NEVER return. You'll be condemning all future generations to a conflict that might actually be eternal....and they won't know why. They won't. know. why.
While Derpy MIGHT be in danger of creating putting Equestria on the fast-track to becoming an empire, doing things your way might actually gradually change how ponies see the world. Ponies might be merely myopic now, but they might become officially xenophobic and hateful! It might destroy Equestria's soul. Especially if Celestia and Luna die.
If you want peace, then your best hope is if the Gryphon King actually IS crazy. That works for Derpy as well because then she gets to destroy Gryphonia and end all this propaganda against Ponydom, even possibly creating an ally nation.
If the Gryphon King isn't crazy (and WORSE! If Equestria continues to eat the world even if ponies stay put when they inadvertably "depopulate" land and the Alicorns are dead so that means that the ONLY solution not yet tried by the non-ponies is pony extinction)...then Derpy can in fact do a kind of evil thing and sweep it under the rug that this is happening. This....isn't a terribly cool thing for Derpy to do, but at that point its a choice between ponies being conquerers, slaves, or extinct. And while a world with those choices would suck incredible amounts of ass, it could be the one both Derpy AND you have to live in. ...Dinky and Apple Bloom, too.
Or maybe...Derpy is actually saving the world. The thing that's really "eating the world" isn't Equestria, but something that is evil and malevolent and brings Nature to a halt. And only pony magic can grow food and bring the rain and generally get everything to work again. ...I'm not saying that's the case, I'm saying WE STILL DON'T KNOW! It is a VERY bad place to be kn
Celestia, care to comment?
Wait! No! If you knew anything, shouldn't you have told Twilight? I know the Zebra diplomat pissed you off talking about all the psuedo-religious gryphon propoganda, but I'm not talking about ancestor halls or if Equestria is a "spiritually dead" land or not! What exactly ARE "ponykind's divine gifts?" What's going on with those gryphons that abandoned their land? Is Equestria eating the world? Can we use the possibility of stopping this expansion as a bargaining chip? Is it some other mysterious force that Equestria just happens to be immune to? Is the King just crazy?
...Do you even know? I can't imagine you would keep this from Twilight and the others if you knew. Hello? Celestia? Luna?
...well, crap.
250121
Made of win
ETA on new chapter?
250121
I did ponder the implications of an "expanding equestria" myself, so I wholeheartedly agree with your point that, if this holds true, it would be inevitable to conquer the world or live in constant fear of extinction should another race not be too happy with their land changing.
This would, in turn. raise the question if ponies would be WILLING to act as the agressor. History has shown that violence can often be justified towards the masses in spite of glaringly evident malicious intent, but ponies DO tend to be pacifists, hence their reluctance to even FIGHT BACK against the invaders. This would, I presume, at least lead to a resistance movement, especially if the attacks to not happen under the command of the princesses, but under that of Twilight Sparkle, a "simple" unicorn whom not everyone might trust. Even if the issue is pushed by the legendary grey mare I assume that ponies like Big Mac, with a strong moral compass and a conviction that peacful resolutions are NEVER out of the question, will stand up to her and try to stop the violence.
The apocalyptic/nihilist scenario that you are drawing out here, where ponies will inevtiably face extinction or "become the villain of the piece", is therefore, in my opinion, not going to happen.
At least not as long as ponykind itself kann go uncorrupted. What will happen with Screwball is, as the crazy pony itself, absolutely unpredictable, so I will not delve into that.
Now that the ranting of a mildly insightful and possibly stupid hobby-ponytrophologist is out of the way: When will we see a new chapter here? I wish to know what is going on!
for all who love equestri:total war check out this song my friend thought this song was perfect for it and i agree. heres the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiNmS-ix43M
254609
-The apocalyptic/nihilist scenario that you are drawing out here, where ponies will inevitably face extinction or "become the villain of the piece", is therefore, in my opinion, not going to happen.
....The reason I brought up the possibility of "Conquer or die" is because the Equestria-eating-the-world-and-there's-nothing-to-stop-it problem is going to force every other nation on earth outside Equestria into that mentality. I was merely exploring all sorts of scenarios, including really bleak ones that make peaceful resolution difficult if not impossible. Simply because the ponies don't know which world they live in.
Its not about being a hawk or a dove or being a Derpy fan or a Big Mac fan or whatever....its about the giant hole in the plot-doughnut that has to be understood first before anybody knows enough to be truly worthy to present a solution. We don't even know if Derpy's actions might literally have world-saving potential or not. (not more than if a peaceful resolution can be reached, but if the planet is just "dying" on its own and one day only ponies will be able to farm, that's a second most optimal solution.)
If you start suggesting solutions before you understand the problem, then everything becomes an issue of ego as you fall in love with your solution and your very psychology strips away your ability to listen to reason in the event that you are in fact, wrong. It happens in discussions of religion and politics all the time, and is pretty much the ONLY thing that happens between fans of different sports teams.
But no matter which scenario is really happening, there is plenty of room for simple bad judgements on ponies part. Judgements that could lead to generations of war and inter-species tension. Which is why my support goes to "Whoever is investigating a solution the hardest." Derpy wins the gold medal so far for downright pleading with Perry to tell her why she is fighting. Big Mac....I'm not sure Mac even places.
Actually, if Derpy DID just want to keep the fight going as long as possible, then she should NOT invade. Yes, you heard me. She should do it Big Mac's way, only she pushes for Equestria to have a large standing army, which will need experienced officers to oversee. Officers like her. Hell, she could even be with Dinky a little bit, at least she could hire a caretaker and give her daughter a warm, permanent home. But meanwhile, she just becomes a typical military leader who saber rattles in peacetime, perhaps stroking the fires of Anti-gryphon sentiment as much as she can get away with, and when Gryphonia DOES re-invade...then she goes and becomes a war goddess again, laughing all the way to the bank everytime Big Mac thanks her for listening to him and restoring "peace."
I don't know what Derpy plans to do, because I don't know how seriously she is really taking the 'Equestria is eating the world' thing, but she is actually passing up an opportunity to try and comprise between being the Queen of the Death Machine and seeing Dinky again...to attempt to defeat Gryphonia soundly and secure peace for an entire generation if nothing else. And, some actions really do have compound motivations because they have compound consequences.
However, if there really is a "single" reason for Derpy to do this, its because she doesn't want to wait and see. She wants to finish the job now while she's got a giant army. Because its overwhelmingly likely she'll regret not using it.
Even if the issue is pushed by the legendary grey mare I assume that ponies like Big Mac, with a strong moral compass and a conviction that peacful resolutions are NEVER out of the question, will stand up to her and try to stop the violence.
It's not the just the Grey mare pushing the issue. The gryphons always launch re-invasions and even re-re-invasions. Derpy isn't really doing anything extreme or visionary, giving the uniqueness of her situation.
Big Mac MIGHT be the one who is full of game changing ideas...if he actually has any substance other than "they only deserve one lickin' per fight they pick with you".
(If someone kidnapped you and made an attempt on your life, but you broke their nose and maybe threatened to stab them with their own knife at one point while you escaped, then by that logic, they should go free because they "already got their lickin', they don't deserve to be incarcerated on top of that." Its not asymmetrical punishment if they wanted to kill you and you just wanted to get away. But then, nations don't have that recourse. Which is probably why real life governments tend to act like some kind of cold blooded overly aggressive feral animal...)
Now that the ranting of a mildly insightful and possibly stupid hobby-ponytrophologist is out of the way: When will we see a new chapter here? I wish to know what is going on!
.....was that a swipe at me?