XXIII. Reckoning Ridge, Equestria. April, 1252.
XXIII. Reckoning Ridge, Equestria. April, 1252.
The candlelight cast a dull glow through the tent. Outside, there was the muffled sounds of practiced decamping; the unicorns loaded the baggage trains in the dark while the soldiers formed ranks and prepared to receive orders. Inside, Luna stood before the assembled officer corps. Each watched her intently; their adrenaline outweighed their sleeplessness.
She floated a pointer to a topographical map behind her.
"The gryphon army has set up defensive positions here, on this shallow ridge, which we have audaciously christened "Reckoning Ridge," for we believe this battle will be the end of the Gryphon threat to Westmarch. To their right runs Trottingham Stream, which is only notable in that it prevents a flanking maneuver from that side. To their left is the thickly forested Westmarch Wilds, the ground of which is not visible from the air, but which is patrolled heavily. Before them is an expanse of fallow farmland."
She continued. "They expect duplicity of some sort; likely a flanking action through the forest. We shall provide duplicity in that there will be nothing of the sort. Our attack will be along their entire front line."
"That's obviously suicide," an aged general said.
Luna nodded. "Which is why they do not believe we will actually do it; their defensive formation is to prevent a battle rather than to win one. There will be a battle."
"But it's still--"
"--General Rustwithers, I would appreciate it if you would be silent on matters you know nothing about. Two days ago I arranged for the body of a typhus casualty to be mauled and placed in the Wilds close to their camp. Among her personal effects is a collection of documents both real and forged, containing "secret" information regarding troop movements of which they are likely already aware, and also giving the impression that we have created an extensive network of bribery among the gryphon scouts."
She paused.
"They won't buy it. A gryphon can't be bribed," somepony said. Exactly as Luna had hoped.
"You obviously know precious little about gryphons," she said, smiling haughtily. "It is true that a gryphon's honor is virtually unbreakable. It is also true, however, that every gryphon believes that he or she may be the only truly honorable gryphon left in the world. That is why honor fights have such a place in their culture, after all. Really, you must know your enemy, colonel. The gryphons will each be eager to suspect each other, and the officers will be eager to distrust their scouts' reports--especially if the scout is reporting that nothing strange is occurring."
She moved the pointer. "Col. Sparkle's artillery is currently being moved to a position on the Gryphon left. There she will have no direct line of sight and will not be visible; she will rely on indirect fire. Before her, the First through Fifth Infantry of Line will advance through the forest, supported by the pegasi of the Fifteenth Cuirassers and Seventh Lancers, and the First through Sixth Light Infantry. When the diversionary force arrives and sets up a defensive line, the artillery will begin fire--from their left as well. Given their belief that their scouts have been compromised, they will decide that our entire army has flanked them, and that this unexpected force has formed defensive lines to screen the deployment of our main force. They will abandon their defenses and reform their lines in order to meet the supposed vanguard of the illusory threat. After our dievrsionary force appears, our cavalry will then emerge and attack the gryphons in their original center--now their undefended right--as our army emerges from the forest. Our infantry will then charge across the field as the cavalry did, and attack the pinned and panicked enemy."
Luna looked at the ponies and narrowed her eyes. "You will, of course, be provided with complete written orders, which you are expected to follow to the absolute utmost of your ponies' ability. We have a plan. Do not ruin it with hero play. Move out."
The ponies stood, saluted, and left to collect their orders.
-----
In her cave, Fluttershy trembled in fear. She had heard drums all through the last two nights--the resounding crack of the gryphon snares and the sharp rattle of the pony snares. The armies were nearby. She knew the armies were nearby. There would be a battle.
All winter she had convinced herself that the war wasn't real. That there were no ponies hurt. That there were no ponies dying. She had retreated into a dream of solitary peace. But the dream was pierced, and she was awake again.
There would be a battle. She tried to swallow. She couldn't. There would be a battle. Ponies would die again. Her friends might die. Her friends might be dead. She covered her ears. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
She had to escape. But she didn't know which direction to go. The armies were nearby. She couldn't risk being found by the gryphons. She certainly couldn't risk being found by the ponies.
No. No no no no no. She was in Lovely Cave. Everything was lovely. Everything was--no. No, it didn't work. The war was still real. The armies were still there. Maybe they would leave. Maybe they would get scared and go. Maybe then Lovely Cave would come back. Maybe then everything would be nice again. No. No they wouldn't. No. No no no no no. She felt a sick heat rising in her throat. She whimpered. No. No no no no no.
--------
Applejack stood in front of her soldiers. A nervous energy coursed through her body. The last time she was in this situation, she said too much. She shattered her unit's morale by revealing things they didn't need to know. Well. She was a savvy officer now. She understood her ponies didn't need to know everything. She understood that truth poisoned them, and that a soldier fought best when there was a wall between an officer's knowledge and a soldier's. And she understood that honesty, which she had always valued before, was the refuge of a naive cornpone who didn't understand how to deal with ponies. Well. She might be a farm pony, but she was no hick. She understood now. She pulled her hat back so they could see her face. She used to hide it when she spoke to them. She didn't have to, now. She was comfortable with what she did. She breathed in deeply, and the tension vanished. Time to show the world she wasn't a rube.
"We're movin' out, folks," she said with an easy smile. "We're headed 'round the gryphons. Gonna go right after 'em today. Just follow me and get ready for a fight."
"What's the plan, Apple?" a sergeant called out.
She winked and nodded. "Oh, there's a plan, all right. Trust ol' Loo-ten-int Applejack." She smiled broadly as she deliberately overpronounced her rank. "And we got us a job to do. So let's do it, y'hear?" A few ponies chuckled. They had learned not to expect much out of their affiable officer.
"Now move out," she barked, and turned to walk. Her ponies followed, their chestplates clinking as they went.
-----
Rainbow Dash stared mournfully at the ground as she walked. Last time, her loyalty to her ponies had caused her to disobey orders. It made her a hero; her daring not only saved her girls, but it won the battle outright. It also put the blood of thousands of ponies on her hooves, as there wouldn't have even been a proper battle if she had followed orders. But at the end of the day, she was a hero. And she hated every minute of it. Now she knew. Heroism, loyalty to your sisters-in-arms: these were things starry-eyed fillies and colts dreamed about. They weren't things that had any place in the clockwork slaughter of war. And so she devoted herself to nothing but her orders. She distanced herself from everypony. She made herself a gear in a machine, because a gear isn't responsible for the ponies the machine kills. But being a gear didn't erase the guilt. It couldn't erase the guilt. It couldn't erase the crushing shame she felt anyone cheerfully called the Battle of Westmarch "The Battle of Dash's Hill." And now she was about to lead her storied Third Lancers into war again. Everypony else expected glory from her. She only hoped that she could look at herself in the mirror at the end of the day.
She arrived back at her camp. There, in the pre-dawn haze, her two thousand lancers were assembled in their companies. In front of the soldiers, her lieutenants were standing in attention in a short line abreast.
Lt. Spitfire saluted crisply. "The soldiers are quite ready for your command, Maj. Dash." She winked, and then spoke quietly: "Last time we won a battle with one company of lancers, as I recall. I expect today we'll win the whole damn war with fifteen."
Dash suppressed a shiver. "I, uh...lieutenant. We've got a job to do. I hereby relieve you of command of the Third Lancers of the New Equestrian Army."
Spitfire smiled and nodded. "I stand relieved. I've kept 'em just the way you like 'em, Dash: the best pack of fliers in the world. Now let's get 'em, Major."
Dash summoned all her control, and remained impassive. "I've read the daily reports, lieutenant. I'm aware that the Third is the most outstanding company in the Royal Lancers."
"All business. That's why you're a hero, eh? Eyes on the prize."
Dash didn't allow herself a response beyond a blink. "Let's move out, lieutenant."
She spread her wings. The lightly armored mares of the Royal Lancers all did the same. They looked at each other eagerly. They expected victory.
----
Rarity glared at the foals in front of her. At one point, she would have been eager to help them. She probably would have felt good about it for days. But that was then. She used to believe that generosity was the mark of a classy mare who was confident in everything she had. She believed that helping the unfortunate was the privilege and the duty of the fortunate. But then the war came. And she realized that in war, nopony was fortunate. Death waited for everypony, behind every rock, every tree, and every pathetic set of weeping eyes. Let up for a minute and dozens of ponies might die. Let up for an hour and thousands of ponies might die. Let up for a day and everypony might die. It was hard, at first, realizing that war meant you couldn't help anypony without hurting somepony else. It was hard realizing that in times of crisis, everypony saw everypony else only as a tool they could exploit to desperately preserve their own survival. And it was hard realizing that her first duty was to her army and to her country rather than to any pathetic wretch that stumbled into her field of vision. But she had come to grips with it. And she understood her role.
They were skinny, ragged little things. One had the dull eyes of a pony near death. He sat and stared blankly at the ground. His younger sister held him and cried softly. His older sister begged in a half-Trottingham accent, her tattered lime-green mane falling around her face: "But please, Miss. Our mother died over the winter, and a few days back our father got hurt real bad. Please. We only need one bottle of healing salve. Just one. And you have so many!"
Rarity shook her head. Her mane fell in loose curls around her shoulders. "Today many ponies will be very badly hurt. You three depend on your father. But every single pony depends on the ponies who will be hurt today, and we may not have enough for ourselves. I am sorry, but the answer is still no. Now run along; an army camp is no place for a foal."
"I...but...who will take care of us then?" She looked hopeless.
"I understand you must be very frightened, but that is not and cannot be my problem. You are not the only war orphans in Equestria. There are many charities that might be able to help you. Now leave." She turned back towards her cart, and began lifting a box in.
"There aren't any out here! There's just you, the gryphons, and a bunch of starving ponies."
Rarity didn't look back. "Hm. I count three options, and I promise you that there is nothing for you at this one. Go."
"To...to the gryphons? Seriously? Wouldn't they just kill us?"
"It pains me to say it, but I neither know nor care," Rarity said dismissively. "What you do is your business."
The foals looked at each other, speaking in hushed voices. Then they turned, and hobbled away, going as fast as the pathetic colt could manage.
Rarity kept packing. The foals slipped out of her mind. Last autumn, the first begging foal on the brink of death had made a lasting impression. So did the second. But after having seen thousands dead and dying in the desolation of winter, the sight had lost its impact. Charity was for ponies without responsibilities. Rarity had work to do.
-----------------
Pinkie Pie bounded through the forest, following the guide pony. She smiled. The forest was so pretty. And her soldiers looked so neat in their little uniforms. And up ahead there was going to be a battle. BATTLE. She winced. Nope! Not gonna worry about that. There was plenty to BATTLE WAR DEATH. She winced and shook her head. There was plenty to do, and PEACHY DYING DEAD PEACHY WAR LIONS TEARING IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN ha ha, no, everything is fine. She remembered when WHEN PEACHY DIED SHE WAS IN YOUR ARMS SHE KNEW SHE WOULD DIE AND YOU TOLD HER SHE WOULDN'T AND SHE KNEW YOU HAD LIED ha ha. She remembered when she was scared of war. But now she wasn't scared. Because she knew there wasn't anything to be scared of! THE LIONS TEAR PONIES APART WE ARE BAGS OF BLOOD AND IT ALL COMES OUT ha ha ha that's silly. It's very silly. How could anypony be afraid of something so silly? The thought of it is just ridic-YOU ARE GOING TO DIE YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL THE CLAWS OPEN YOUR STOMACH AND YOU WILL FEEL EVERYTHING FALL OUT-ulous. She laughed. No, that doesn't even make sense. Pinkie Pie is a pony, and that means...well, it means she's a pony! And ponies laugh and smile and live. AND THEY DIE THEY DIE OH GOD THEY DIE DO THEY FEEL IT DO THEY FEEL IT WHEN THEIR HEADS ARE CRUSHED IN THOSE JAWS DO THEY FEEL THEIR SKULLS COLLAPSING IN THE LAST MOMENT OR ARE THEY DEAD BEFORE THEY CAN ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. No. That's just ha ha ha ha ha. That's not real. It's real. And it's ridiculous! Ha ha ha ha ha. So ridiculous.
She kept walking. She kept laughing. And her soldiers looked uneasily around. Lt. Pie was a good officer. She cared for them and did things for them and made camp life tolerable and even trained them well. But...her laughter. Her eerie, unhinged laughter. They hated her laughter.
----
By the time Twilight arrived, the artillery had already deployed. They were in a single battery--a line of 60 cannons, each loaded with carcass shot, each prepared to drop liquid fire on the enemy. She nodded in satisfaction. Her artillery was the strength of the New Equestrian Army. The line infantry were brave but couldn't stand up to a lion charge for long. The cavalry were gallant--and their daring tactics made them superior to the slow, reactionary gryphons--but they couldn't win a fight by themselves. But her artillery was accurate, powerful, and technologically advanced. It had proven itself at the Battle of Westmarch--well, now the First Battle of Westmarch. Twilight had trained them well.
Her pegasus spotters introduced themselves; their job was to zip over to a different part of the forest, pop up and sight the battlefield, and then return. For this battle Twilight insisted on handling the math to square the difference between the spotter's perspective and the cannons' positions; it would give her something to do other than sit and ruminate while the cannons fired.
She tried not to think about her friends. Her idea last night--telling them to ask themselves why they did things--was obviously ridiculous. It obviously was going to get laughed off. And...and she obviously wouldn't be able to turn them back into the ponies she once knew and liked. She sighed. At some point in the next few months, Col. Twilight Sparkle was going to be Field Marshal Sparkle, Commanding General of the New Equestrian Army. And after that...well, she highly doubted she would have any friends at all. It was lonely at the top.
She checked her hourglass. The diversionary force should be approaching within the hour.
----
Applejack walked calmly through the forest. A private--a new recruit, she couldn't remember his name--came trotting up next to her.
"What's up," Applejack said, lightly tossing her head in his direction.
"So, uh...Lt. Apple?"
"Just call me Apple, sugarcube, everypony else here does."
"All right. Um...Lt. Apple...the other soldiers and I were talking. And...well...we can't help but notice that there's not a whole lot of us out here. Out here in the forest, I mean. Most of the ponies didn't come with us. Are we...are we supposed to flank them after the battle starts? But--"
Applejack glanced off to the side, then fixed her eyes on the pony. "We've got a plan, private. Your job isn't to figure it out. Your job is to do it."
"But...I'm just asking what it is we're supposed to do."
She smiled. "Darlin', 'what it is you're supposed to do' is whatever the heck I say. I said we got a plan and I said it's a good one. So stop worryin' your empty little head, huh? The generals got all sortsa maps and scouts and they're smart as whips."
"I know," he said quietly. "So we're flanking them, then? We'll flank them after the main army engages 'em and then we'll roll 'em up. That's what we're doing, right?"
"Heh. You're too smart for your own good. Stop tryin' to out-think the Princesses. What you're doin' is whatever they say we're doin', and that's all you need to care about."
He paused, thought, then nodded. "All right. I'll tell the others."
She saluted amiably. "See to it that you do."
The ponies slowed their march as they approached the sawed-off stumps that marked the edge of the forest and the beginning of the open farmland. According to their pegasus scout, the gryphons were still loosely deployed in their original defensive formation, and the diversionary force had ended up exactly where they were supposed to be. All that was left was to send the scout to relay the fire order to Twilight. As the pony commanding the center of the diversionary line, Applejack had the honor of writing the order. She did, in her self-taught scrawl, and sent the scout on his way. And then she gave the order to advance.
She marched forward, through the forest. The ponies chattered nervously; the ponies chatted excitedly.
"But I can't hear a battle. I wonder what--"
"--No, I told you, Lt. Apple all but said we were gonna flank 'em once they were engaged."
"Yeah, but why are we advancing now? Do you think somepony screwed up?"
"Apple wouldn't order it if they had. She isn't a stupid pony."
"Yeah, but she's all about doin' what the Princesses say. If the Princesses got some bad information--"
"--look, there's no sense in arguin'. Maybe we charge and flank 'em and then everypony else comes and keeps 'em from fallin' on us. Like, the same thing but in reverse."
"That'd be awfully tricky."
"Yeah, but Princess Luna's awfully tricky, ain't she?"
"No, I bet--"
Suddenly, everypony fell silent. They broke through the clearing. Ahead of them, the entire Gryphon army stretched out in a shockingly, terrifyingly long line snaking across the ridge. To their left was nothing but a broad, expansive field. There was no battle yet. They were the first.
Applejack blew her whistle: two short, one long. Defensive formations. Her soldiers hesitated in shock as the ponies to either side began deploying. Then, they started deploying as well, hurriedly, nervously.
"We're not even attacking them?"
"Oh...oh, no. You're right. This was a mistake. This was a mistake. They screwed up."
"Why aren't we attacking?"
"Because we were supposed to wait 'till the main army engaged 'em!"
"But--"
"--and now we're just tryin' to stay alive when they all fall on us."
"Oh, my God, we--"
"--yeah. We're screwed. We're so screwed."
Applejack felt a familiar sinking sensation. No. No, this wasn't right. Tellin' 'em the truth just made 'em doubt. Tellin' 'em the generals made a mistake made 'em scared. She didn't tell 'em anythin' but to trust the generals. How could--how could--
From behind the ponies, there was the resounding rumbling of cannon fire. It was much farther away than it was in the last battle. But there were many more cannons--bigger cannons. The shockwave wasn't as sharp, but it rumbled the ground and rang from every direction as it echoed through the forest. It was as if the Earth itself was groaning in pain.
On the left flank of the gryphon lines, carcass shot exploded. She had heard it before, but she was hiding in the grass. Now, for the first time, a clear view of just what "carcass shot" really meant. High above the enemy lines, there were tiny puffs of smoke; magical charges were going off. As the little black canisters tumbled to the ground, they broke apart, and liquid fire fell out. Some broke apart early, spreading a thin coating over wide range. Some broke apart on impact, splashing the sticky flame on anyone unlucky enough to be nearby. Either way it burned--the oil kept burning no matter what its victims did. It stuck to feathers. It stuck to fur. It stuck to armor. It stuck to skin. It stuck to the ground. It stuck and it burned, and anyone touched by it shrieked and cringed and rolled in helpless agony until they died. The lucky ones were consumed quickly. Some didn't die until they asphyxiated, their own burning flesh swallowing all the oxygen that might have gotten to their lungs. It was horrible. It was beyond horrible. It was criminal. But it was effective.
Across the gryphon lines, drums and squawks sounded out. They began to form ranks. She heard the familiar rat-tat-a-tat-tat-a-tat-tat ordering a march. A force of gryphon hussars formed to charge the pony line--to keep them from attacking the lions as they redeployed. "See?!" she shouted. "Just like we thought! It's workin'! I told you we had a plan!"
"They're going to attack us! They're all going to attack us," another unfamiliar voice shouted. Applejack cringed. Damned new recruits. They never trust you. No matter.
The hussars approached. The pony cuirassers and lancers deployed above the pony center. Applejack ordered the ponies to close ranks, shoulder-to-shoulder. This would be smooth. The ponies would easily repel the charge, the gryphons would hurry to redeploy and get sloppy, and then the pony cavalry would swoop in, tear apart the redeploying gryphon cavalry, pin the lions--or better, make them break ranks to reenforce their flank and turn their army into a mob--and then the infantry would roll them up. It wouldn't take fifteen minutes. The ground rumbled again as the hussars approached. Again, dozens of canisters burst in and around the enemy lines.
Then Applejack saw something else, and grinned: a company of lions was charging the ponies in a loose mob. They must be terrified. They were losing their discipline already. "See, look," she shouted, "they're falling apart! It's workin'!" She heard squawking and crashing above her. Fifty feet in front of the ponies and sixty feet above, the charging hussars and countercharging cuirassers smashed into each other. Immediately after, the lancers swooped around the skirmish and charged the hussars' rear in a hammer-and-anvil. Too easy. They weren't thinking at all.
She looked back ahead. The lions were charging wildly--and directly at her ponies. She fixed her attention on them, watching their range. Closer. Closer. Closer. She blew her whistle again: prepare to kick a rock volley. Closer. Closer. Closer. Closer. Now. She blew it again: fire. Yet only a few rocks launched forward. She looked around her. Her eyes went wide. Her stomach leapt. Around her, only a handful of ponies remained. She turned wildly and looked behind her. The rest had fled. She turned back. The lions were nearly on top of her. On either flank, line infantry rushed in to close the gap. She gritted her teeth. A lion leapt. She watched him rise. She watched him fall. She kicked out her legs. She felt the right one miss. She felt the left one glance against his muzzle and slide off, slipping wildly further to the left. She felt him crash into her body, spreading her legs wide. And with a pop, she felt her legs shatter.
-----
Rainbow Dash squinted as she watched the battle through the trees. She wasn't expecting the lion charge. That was good; she was expecting them to be brushed aside. But she certainly wasn't expecting the pony center to break before they had even engaged the enemy. And she wasn't expecting the gryphons to reenforce the skirmish. She bit her lip. They'd notice that the ponies weren't reenforcing their supposed vanguard; they'd realize it was a diversionary force with nothing backing it up. She knew what she should do. She should take the Third and Second lancers, reenforce the diversionary force as if they were coming up from the main body, and force the gryphons to resume redeployment. She knew that having the diversionary force break wasn't part of the plan. And she knew that if she didn't do anything, Applejack and Pinkie Pie would likely die, and Twilight soon after, as the gryphons chased the fleeing survivors back to the artillery battery. She knew the lives of her old friends--and the fate of the battle-depended on it. If the diversion broke, the main army would withdraw into the forest unseen. But they wouldn't have the opportunity to fight again any time soon. And they wouldn't have artillery, either. They might lose their baggage train in the retreat, too. Put those together, and that would turn the army from a fighting force into a crippled band of refugees.
But hadn't she thought the exact same thing last time--that there was a mistake and lives of ponies she cared about depended on her fixing it? And hadn't she been dead wrong? Last time she nearly lost the battle by herself. Maybe she'd do the same thing again--and losing a battle might well mean losing the army if it turned into a rout. Luna said to follow orders to the letter. And Luna had a plan last time. She certainly had a plan this time. And either way there would be new orders soon. The Princesses were two minutes' flight time behind the cavalry. If this was a mistake, there would be new orders any second.
But the messenger's two minutes' flight time back to the Princesses, plus however long it took them to consider and issue new orders, plus the messenger's two minutes' flight time back, plus the five minutes it would take to wheel around through the forest...her old friends might all be dead by then, and the battle lost. She didn't want to be too close to her friends. But she couldn't let them die either.
But she was supposed to follow orders. But she was expected to be a hero. But she needed to save her friends. She knew she couldn't afford to wait for new orders. She knew she couldn't afford not to.
She floated just off the ground, wings flapping, mind paralyzed. She saw some pony light infantry circling around the skirmish to flank a fresh ground of charging lions. She saw another group of lions about to flank them in turn.
If she waited and was wrong, she'd have the death of her friends and the crippling of her army on her conscience. If she ignored orders, helped the diversionary force, and was wrong, she might have the loss of the battle, the loss of the army and then the loss of the war on her conscience.
She had to order a wheeling turn and the reenforcement of the diversion. She had to sit there and wait for orders. And picking the wrong one would be worse than death.
Worse than death.
Death.
With her teeth, she pulled her orders out of her small leather bag. She read them again: Order a lancer charge when the diversion appears and the gryphons begin to redeploy. She heard Luna's voice in her head. She was expected to follow her orders to her utmost ability. The diversion had indeed appeared. The gryphons had indeed begun to redeploy--though they had stopped soon after. A gear in a machine would do what it had to do, whether it made the machine break or made the machine work. And a gear in a machine doesn't have to care. It might break. It might be destroyed. But it doesn't regret doing what it did. Because it didn't have a choice.
She looked back at the gryphon lines. On the crest of the ridge, lion infantry were in tight formation, spears braced. A charge would be suicide. A charge would break her and break her ponies. But...a gear didn't care if it broke. And a gear didn't care if other gears broke.
She breathed in. She felt the air fill her lungs. It was a familiar sensation. It was life itself. She put her whistle to her lips. And she exhaled, forcing every bit of air back out of her lungs. Her whistle screeched. One long, loud, fateful, screech; a banshee wail; a death cry; the sudden end of thousands, of millions, in a slash of airsplitting sound. Her lungs ran out of air. The whistle rasped to a silent halt. As if in response, the cannons fired another volley; the rumbling of an anguished Earth resonated through the woods. In the distance, another round of carcass shells soared gracefully through the air, towards their violent end in fire.
The thousands of Royal Lancers soared gracefully through the air, too, Rainbow Dash at the lead.
------
Pinkie Pie giggled, bouncing around her target. "Ha ha, you can't catch me, ha ha ha! Bet you want to! But nope!" She kicked again, this time feeling through her hoof the lioness's eye socket collapse. She fell to the ground in pain. Pinkie kicked yet again. This time her whole skull collapsed, her body shook in a single spasm, and she went still. Pinkie giggled. "Hee hee! That's just what Ruby Teardrop did when you flung her head-first into that rock!" Then she bounced away, rolled, and found another lion to fight.
Around her, her unarmored ponies were being torn apart. Light infantry were a harassment force; their mandate was to engage, retreat, and repeat. They were supposed to screen charges, scatter, and re-form. They were supposed to use their speed to flank unsuspecting enemies. Yet for the second time, her girls were in the middle of a brawl. This time, it was fun. It was a party. It was a game where you lay down and went to sleep when you lost.
The lion swiped at her. She ducked and giggled. The lion swiped again. She jumped over his claw, laughing, and thunked him on the head with her front hoof. She landed in front of him, then leapt back.
"You're weak, pony," he growled. "You can't fight us."
Pinkie cocked her head, and giggled. Then she bounced, twisted her body around, and pulled her legs in tight--and then her legs exploded straight back. The lion's head burst like a tomato being hit by a hammer. "Ha ha ha ha. My sisters and I used to break rocks for fun when we were fillies, silly kitty!"
She looked around--there were a lot more lions than there were a few minutes ago. A lot fewer ponies, too. She spied two lions closing on a pony nervously backing away. She ran up to them, leapt into the air over one lion's head, then kicked him as she fell in front of his head. His head snapped back--straight back, parallel to the ground--and he crumpled with a heavy thud. At the same time, the other lion tore into the frightened pony with his teeth, neatly amputating a front leg and much of her ribcage. Her eyes rolled into her head, she grabbed at the wound with her other hoof, and she fell unsupported to the ground, where she pawed desperately at her exposed, torn lung--until she stopped moving altogether.
Pinkie laughed giddily. "Boy. Nopony can stand on two legs if their body's all forward like that. That was really dumb of her!"
The lion bounced up onto his rear legs, preparing to drop down and crush Pinkie. Pinkie raised an eyebrow. "Y'know, lions can't stand on one foot either." With one leg she kicked at his leg, while with the other three she prepared to spring forward and out of the way. The lion fell forward, and Pinkie leapt away.
And Pinkie hit the ground roughly, her leg trapped under the lion's body. She grunted in frustration. She had mis-timed her leap. The lion shook off the impact, pushed his frame off the ground with his front feet, and bit. Pinkie felt a snap resonate through her leg bones. She pulled the leg back. It left his mouth easily. At the end there was no hoof. There was just a ragged stump, out of which protruded a bloodied, whitish broken bone. She kicked with her shattered leg, sending the exposed bone through the lion's eye. The lion began convulsing. Pinkie pulled the bloody stump back out. The lion collapsed. The numbing adrenaline subsided. Pinkie bit her lip. The pain kept rising. She instinctively reached forward and cradled the leg in her front hooves. The pain kept rising. A strangled, incoherent whisper escaped her lips. The pain kept rising. Pinkie closed her eyes and shrieked, blood vessels in her eyes bursting. The scream mixed with a dozen just like it.
----
A messenger flew back to the forward command tent, his eyes wide. He spoke so quickly Celestia could barely understand him. "The cavalry have all committed to a frontal attack. All of them. Every single one. The lancers launched some sort of desperation charge before our messenger arrived. The cuirassers followed; I don't know why. Maybe they assumed that's what you ordered. And now they're getting torn apart out there. And the diversionary force is gone. I mean gone. The lions are running in pursuit through the forest. The artillery is gonna go next; the pickets there can't do more than warn the cavalry that they're going to be under attack, but the cavalry is throwing itself against their spears, I don't even understand--"
Celestia frowned. "That's enough, private." The messenger bit his lip. He was trembling.
Celestia spoke. She spoke with a voice of quiet command. A thousand years of crises flared in her eyes. "If we lose our cavalry and our artillery, we're not an army. We won't be able to fight. We won't even be able to protect our supply trains. We'd be helpless. And if we're helpless, Equestria is helpless."
She turned to a general next to her. "Order everypony to form a line, two ponies deep, and advance," she said, her steel voice filling the tent, filling the camp, possibly filling the skies. "Everypony. Every. Pony. Recruits. Support unicorns. Medical personnel. Generals. Court-martialed convicts. Everypony. And bring me my armor. We need to own this battlefield by sundown. Nothing else matters. Not my life. Not your lives. Not anypony's lives. I will lose my blood before I lose Equestria."
---
Fluttershy sat in her cave. The cannonfire rumbled through the ground. A stalactite fell from the ceiling. She whimpered, and laid her head on the ground. Suddenly, she heard voices.
"In here! In here! C'mon! It's okay! It's a cave; we can hide in here."
She looked up. Two bloodied, unarmored ponies stumbled in. Fluttershy looked at them. One of them had a deep gash across her side, from which blood was still flowing. The other had a nasty series of gouges across his face; his eyes were slammed shut, and blood poured out of them. The sighted one looked at Fluttershy.
"You're...you're Fluttershy. You're Fluttershy, aren't you."
Fluttershy tried to swallow. Her mouth was dry as sand.
---
Above Rainbow Dash, ponies and gryphons were scattered across the sky. Below Rainbow Dash, the ground was thicker with dead and dying ponies. Dash paid the casualties no mind. She glided easily over the lions' wall of braced spears, then performed a quick inverted loop, tearing her lance through a lion's shoulder. She then took a hard right, and performed the maneuver again, this time bringing herself even closer to the ground. She fought ever more recklessly, openly daring the lions and gryphons to bring her down.
Beside Dash, Spitfire did the same. Her brow was furrowed; her expression was pure concentration. She fought as if she were performing a particularly challenging trick. Suddenly, Dash took a hard turn skywards. Spitfire looked up. She saw Dash tear through three hussars. A fourth and fifth hussar dived past Dash and towards Spitfire. She juked right, out of the way of their swords--and directly into a lion's spear. The iron tip tore through her right wing, snapping the hollow bones and tearing the muscle. She yelped, and crumpled to the ground. From above, Dash heard the familiar voice, and looked back just in time to see Spitfire hit the ground. A lion calmly walked over and drove his spear through the Wonderbolt's chest. Dash froze. She stared in horror.
The lion lifted the spear again, and aimed it carefully at her throat. He brought it down. He hit nothing but dirt. Around his spear, their was a strange spectral rainbow. He poked at it with his weapon. It was completely ethereal.
Dash soared towards the forest, Spitfire's gasping body cradled in her front hooves. Behind her, the few remaining pegasi scattered and fled, gryphons in close pursuit.
---
"FIRE," Twilight shouted again. Thirty cannons erupted, each loaded with canisters of grape-sized metal balls. In front of the battery, the charging line of lions collapsed, their bodies ripped to shreds by the iron blizzard.
"RELOAD," she shouted again. It wasn't necessary. Her artillerists were working as hard as they could.
A company of Gryphons suddenly dived into the blasted-open hole in the canopy through which the artillery was and began poured through. "RAISE, FIRE," Twilight shouted. A second passed. The cannons fired. The gryphons vanished in the wind of shards.
She looked behind her. She wasn't sure why. Her spotters had been killed long ago; she had no idea how the battle was going. But it couldn't have been going well. And the lions were getting closer with each charge.
Another band of lions came. "LOWER, FIRE," Twilight shouted again. Again, the enemy line fell--this one ten feet closer than the last.
----
Rarity charged forward, her hooves beating against the ground. Around her, the remnants of the New Equestrian Army did so as well. Iron cannonballs screamed through them, ripping ponies in half, their turbulent wake tearing limbs from bodies. Above her, gryphons swooped down, merrily slashing individual ponies. Before them, the lions licked their lips. The ponies were closing. They were quite close, indeed.
Suddenly, there was a crack to her left. In front of the crack, a dozen lions went soaring into the sky. There was another crack. A dozen more flew backwards, crashing into and through a line of reserves. She craned her head. Celestia, her mane flowing, her face grim determination, raised her horn. Out of it came another crack, and a cone of yellow energy flashed out of her horn. This time, a band of gryphons were sent tumbling through the air, and fell hard to the ground. Rarity lowered her own head as she ran. She leapt at a lion, his spear missing her widely. As she flew through the air, she tensed her shoulders against her neck. And with a wet snap, her horn embedded itself in his skull. She narrowed her eyes. The back of the gryphon's head blew off. She hit the ground, and yanked her horn free. Then she looked around, saw the lions in every direction, and leapt at one, shrieking in desperation.
The battle was fierce; fiercer than the first one. Ponies fought with the feral determination of knowing that someone's death was the only outcome. Lions fought with the intense bloody pleasure of a predator that sees his prey about to die. Lions and gryphons massed around Celestia, and were repeatedly launched backwards in shockwaves of solar energy. Rarity kicked repeatedly. She couldn't break a lion in one kick like an Earth pony, but she had a seamstress's pinpoint control over her hooves. The battle was desperate
Suddenly, she saw in front of her a tiny lion. She stopped for a second. It wasn't a lion. It was a filly. She wore a tiny Gryphonic Army uniform. She cowered in fear. Her lime-green mane fell around her face. Rarity looked at the foal. The foal looked back. Suddenly, an armored pony kicked her in the face. She crumpled to the ground. Rarity stared in horror. The foal twitched. Around her, the carnage continued unabated.
To the left, Celestia gasped in pain. There was a sudden enormous crack, and she fell to the ground, unconscious.
---
There was an enormous crack.
Applejack looked around as she dragged her body through the forest. There was little but dead ponies, mixed with the occasional dead lion. She didn't know where she was crawling. She just couldn't stay where she was, even though the pain of moving was intense.
She heard a voice calling her name. She looked at the source of the voice. A pink pony. Pinkie Pie. Applejack smiled faintly, and the two dragged their bodies towards each other. With much effort, each finally managed to reach the other. Applejack laid on her back. So did Pinkie. The crowns of their heads touched.
"Guess we lost," Pinkie said sadly. She rolled her head back and forth. "Guess we'll die. You know...I was...I was so afraid to die. I acted so weird because I was afraid to die. Now that I'm going to...well, it's kinda funny. I don't care. I'm past caring. I really, really, really don't care. And I'm not bragging or anything. I was just so scared for so long...I can't be scared when it's happening. It's like, it'll happen, I won't feel it, and that's it. I was dead before I was born. I'll be dead again. And...I guess that's okay. I'm just sorry everypony else died scared."
Applejack sighed. "Yeah. I knew comin' into it I might die. I just didn't want to let anypony else die 'cause of me. But I did. Heck." She breathed in deeply. "Everypony mighta died 'cause of me."
"I don't think one pony did this, Applejack. You're a really good friend and you're really strong and really good, but there are a lot of ponies here. Well. There were a lot of ponies. I know most of my girls ran away but...well. They'll get caught, I guess. A gryphon flies faster than a pony can run."
Applejack closed her eyes. "Maybe they will, maybe they won't. But I've had some time to think lyin' here. And I thought about that dumb thing Twilight said. And I didn't understand what I was doin'. Like...I thought I was supposed to tell the truth because it made me a good pony all by itself. And that didn't work. And then I thought I was supposed to never say nothin', but that didn't work. And both times ponies died 'cause of it. But I understand now, sorta. I told the truth because it made good things happen. And I stopped saying anything because I thought it would make good things happen. And...I guess I shoulda realized that. I shoulda been focused on makin' good things happen the ways I best know how. But...hell. It's too darn late for that." Her eyes opened a bit wider.
"I know. I thought about it too. And...I laughed because it made good things happen, too. Laughing made silly things less scary, and made ponies who were sad about dumb stuff happy because it reminded them they were just being all mopey and dumb. But then I started laughing because I was scared. And that didn't make anypony happier or safer. It didn't at all. It just made them scared, I think, because it didn't make sense. And I know I don't make sense all the time, but Applejack, I don't make sense in ways people like. That's why I do it! I like to make ponies happy! But...then I took a good thing and made it bad because I didn't want to deal with a bad thing. And that only made the bad thing worse. I wish I had figured it out earlier." She sighed. "I'm so silly." Her eyes opened a bit wider.
Applejack spoke. It was almost an interruption. "I...feel somethin' weird. A tinglin'"
"Me too," Pinkie replied. "Like..."
"Like I kinda understand. I don't really know who I am now. But..."
"But now I know, the way I was..."
They spoke together, in an ethereal, sparkling voice. "That's not who I am."
---
There was an enormous crack.
Fluttershy dressed her vistors' wounds with her bedding, and placed a salve made from crushed mushrooms and glowbugs on the blinded pony's eyes, which she covered up with a rough scrap of her old uniform.
"Now this won't make you see. You won't ever see. But it'll keep it from getting infected," she said softly.
He nodded. "...thanks," he said. He sounded reluctant. "Thanks. Um. Fluttershy."
The other pony nodded too. "This is weird, Fluttershy. You...you're really important. You're really famous. Like...everypony was so relieved when they heard you would be part of the army. But then you left. And everypony knew. And I don't think it's been the same since."
Fluttershy bit her lip.
The blinded pony spoke. "Last fall plenty of ponies died on the battlefield because they didn't get help. We needed you. And last winter plenty of ponies died of disease because they didn't get help. We need you then, too. And through the whole thing...we were hanging on to any scrap of hope. And you six were a big scrap of hope. And then you left. And we needed you then, too."
Fluttershy sighed. Her eyes watered. Suddenly, she burst out screaming. "Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know! I was scared! I was so scared of watching ponies die and I was so scared of having my friends get hurt. Because they would get hurt and there would be nothing I can do! I'm really brave when I can make things better but I can't fix a war! You're just there and then you die! And you die! And you die! And I can't fix that! It's awful and I couldn't deal with how awful it is!"
The blinded pony looked incredulous behind his bandage. "What are you saying?! Are you bucking serious? You're telling a pony who had to look death in the face over and over again--a pony who saw two awful battles and a winter of disease and starvation and more dead ponies and yes dead foals than I had seen living ponies before the war? A pony who won't ever again see anything but that lion's claws coming down on my face, over and over and over again? You're telling me that you you didn't want to see that war was bad? Do you think any of us want to see war? Do you think any of us think we can fix war ourselves? And we're just ponies, not some magic kindness fairy!"
"I'm not--" Fluttershy whimpered.
"I can't believe you," the other pony said. "I cannot believe you. You...you left us all. You left everypony. You left us all to die. Any one of us might have been wounded at any point in any battle. And any one of us might have died on the battlefield with nopony to save us. And you were sitting here instead of saving us--saying that we could all die for all you care--because you think war is bad? Sweetheart, we all know war is bad! We all hate it! And we all know we can't fix it! But we fight and die because we know we can help. Not fix it. But help."
"I'm--" Fluttershy suddenly stopped. "I'm awful," she continued. "You're right. I was selfish. I hid because I was scared. And I hid until I thought hiding was the real world. And I kept hiding even when I came back to the world because I was scared. But...that's an awful, cruel thing to do. The war will happen whether I hide from it or not. I pretended you weren't real. You still got hurt. I don't...I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know if I can handle war. But, the awful way I've been acting..."
Her eyes grew wide. She spoke in an ethereal, sparkling voice.
"That's not who I am."
---
There was an enormous crack.
And the ponies ran in scattered, panicked retreat. Princess Celestia--or her body--was now the property of the gryphons. The New Equestrian Army was a sprinking of terrified ponies running in every direction across two square miles.
Rarity ran. She ran and she ran and she dived into a ditch made by a cannonball, and with her hooves and her magic she covered all of her body with dirt but her snout.
I deserve to die. I deserve to lie here until I'm dead and buried. Oh, I don't even deserve to be buried. I deserve to be torn apart and eaten by gryphon beaks. I was so stupid, so awful and horrid and evil and mean and horrendous and terrible and and and--oh, I was so...bad. Hm. I thought I knew more synonyms than that. Well...how about...atrocious? Yes. That will do nicely.
Oh, what am I doing? I'm still so selfish! Element of Generosity and I won't even give a poor filly some medicine--and we had so much and we won't ever get to use it--and I won't even complement Sweetie Belle and Derpy Hooves a thousand miles from them! I won't give ponies food!
I don't know. I was generous because I thought it made me classy, and--ugh--I certainly must be the first classy mare in my awful family. But...then being classy didn't matter? And then giving people things became complicated and oh I still don't know whether I should have taken all those poor ponies' food and I still don't know anything. Oh. I'm such a mess. And I won't ever know now.
I just...I just know that telling a poor filly to go to the gryphons when she just wants some medicine for her sick father...I know that isn't me. I don't know who I am. But the pony I've been...
Her eyes went wide. She spoke in an ethereal, sparkling voice. "That's not who I am."
---
There was an enormous crack.
Rainbow Dash cradled Spitfire. The Wonderbolt coughed weakly, then a bit harder. She spat blood out of her mouth.
"I'm sorry," Rainbow Dash said.
"Why?" Spitfire said, smiling weakly. Dash couldn't tell if it was sarcastic. "You did what you thought was necessary. It was brave." She coughed again. "You fought with us. You risked your life like you asked us to risk ours. And," she coughed, "we did it willingly."
"I know. But...I had orders before. At the Battle of My Hill, I guess I can call it. And I ignored them. And a lot of ponies died. I ignored my orders, Spitfire. It was supposed to be an ambush and I ruined it. And...everypony thinks I'm a hero because I won a bad battle. But...they don't know that the battle was bad because of me."
Spitfire smiled. "Yeah we do."
Dash stopped. "Huh?"
"Of course we do. Armies don't keep secrets that big. But...Dash. Every one of us is willing to lay down our lives for the army. Each of us." Her body was wracked with violent coughing. Blood trickled out of the corners of her mouth. "We knew when we joined we might die. And we promised to die if it would help. And you didn't let us die like we promised, and a bunch of ponies died, and that was a bad thing. But Dash! You did a bad thing for a good reason." More coughs. "You thought you had to keep us alive at any cost. So you didn't understand what enlisting really meant. But then...then you put your own life on the line over and over and over and over again. And you didn't know you had made a mistake but you fixed it. We don't love you because we think you're perfect. We love you because you fixed a mistake you made for good reasons. You nearly killed us all. But you saved us all, too. And ponies can forgive a lot, Dash."
Spitfire coughed violently from the effort of speaking--so violently she retched.
Dash stopped.
"I should have talked to you a long time ago," she said slowly.
Spitfire smiled. "Yeah. But you did now. And you didn't talk to me because you couldn't love us and let us die. And I understood that too. And at least I won't die with you acting like some jerk to a pony who thinks you're pretty awesome. You know. Ridiculous dyed mane and all."
Dash laughed. "I don't dye it."
Spitfire laughed too, then coughed up more blood. "C'mon, Dash. Why lie to a dying mare?"
"I...I really don't dye it, Spitfire."
"Huh."
They were quiet.
"I don't know. I thought being loyal meant keeping people alive. Then I thought it was good to not be loyal because loyalty killed ponies too. I just...I just didn't understand. I didn't understand anything, really."
"Nope." Spitfire smiled faintly. Her eyes defocused.
"So I acted in an awful way. If I had done either of the things I thought would be good, we might have won. We probably would have. But I did a dumb thing because I couldn't deal with letting ponies die either way--ponies who agreed to die to save others. So I let everypony die in a way I thought wouldn't make me guilty but I feel worse than I've ever felt in my whole life Spitfire. I didn't really understand what I need to do, Spitfire. And I still don't. And I probably never will. I never, ever will, because the war is probably over and we're all going to die."
Spitfire didn't respond. Dash checked her pulse, and gently set her to the ground.
"But, Spitfire...at least I know something. And I know because of you. I know that the way I was acting this whole time..."
Her eyes opened wide. She spoke in an ethereal, sparkling voice. "That's not who I am."
---
Each of the five spoke at once in an ethereal, sparkling voice. "That's not who I am."
And energy coursed through her body, and coalesced in the shape of a pendant. And her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and her mind was slammed by power she didn't understand. She felt peace, for the first time in months. Her mind tapped into unlimited potential; she saw the universe at it was and could be and never would be, all filtered through her cardinal virtue. She felt a part of her consciousness she hadn't felt in a long time. She felt a part of her consciousness that she had shut off a long time ago. And as the mental gate flooded open, the Flow--the eternal pool of potential from which the universe was made and from which the mind originates, coursed through her body. She was not a pony with her virtue. She was her virtue. Her body lifted off the ground, and it floated towards a point at the exact center of the five. And they met there, above the unconscious form of Celestia at the center of the gryphon camp.
Gryphons flew up to stab them, to slash at them. They couldn't. They couldn't get near them. A spherical, solid rainbow of five unblended colors spun around the five.
And hiding beneath a tree root, Twilight Sparkle suddenly felt something she hadn't felt in a long time. She felt peace. She felt the five cardinal virtues pouring into her mind. Her eyes opened and glowed with white energy. Her body lifted off the ground. In her consciousness, the five virtues coalesced together into one entity. Her raw magical ability--her unlimited ability to harness the Flow--blended the five. A purple ray shot from her body. It mixed with the other five swirling, iridescent colors. And Twilight floated to join the five. They each closed their eyes and smiled as they spun together. Virtue and color and pure magic--pure consciousness--radiated from them. And as purple joined the other five colors, the rainbow blended into a shining sphere of magic.
And then they opened their eyes. Each pair of eyes shone with a light of unfathomable brightness. The gryphons shielded their faces, but the light was still blinding. And the sphere of color suddenly shrunk down to a single white point at the center of all six.
And then, with a silent, deafening roar, it burst into a radiant explosion, and the power of the Elements--the Magic of Friendship--coursed through them and into the world .
---
Elsewhere.
"Where am I?"
"You're safe, dear," Celestia said.
"But...where am I?"
"You're safe."
"Am I better now?"
"It depends what you mean by that. Your body is not well. Neither is your mind."
"I felt something."
"That was the Elements."
"So...I'm a good pony again?"
"You always were a good pony. But you were closed off from who you were. And you cracked open the door, and the Elements came flooding back. But...your struggle isn't over. Before the battle you weren't well, and you weren't able to get better. What happened to you only means that now you can get better. You still have to figure out how."
"Oh."
"Yes."
"Can I sleep again?"
"Yes."
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Act I ended with the Battle of Westmarch. Act II is now over.
Riiiiigght. The Mane Six have a superweapon that Derpoleon Bonahooves doesn't have access to....yet.
Also, it occurs to me that Derpy might be why the NEA got in such a horrible mess.....that's because the opposition, having been exposed to the brutal tactics she was forced to adopt as the feared bandit queen they call the Grey Mare, saw right through Luna's attempt at deception. That being said, the end of the arc seems to coincide neatly with the Mane Six rediscovering their pre-war selves.
This chapter...5 stars all the way. Good stuff.
37201
No. They used the elements of harmony to free Celestia.
Wow.
Just...
wow.
This is so amazingly incredulous... I can feel the writhing, raw, pure emotion flowing through the words...
You, Emkajii, are a master as far as I am concerned...
i think it was some kind of atomic bomb that dash used on that barn, except this one powered by the elements.
Wow!
Reading this discourages me. I know I will never be close to topping that. Don't get me wrong in any way, shape, or form THIS IS AMAZING! But damn, I think I need a break.
This story is extremly well writen and the best on i have read so far.I don't know where you come up with these ideas ,but your picture of war is dead on and frightningly accurate. Keep on writing to your hearts content.
And sadly yes Spit fire has moved on.
Wow.
I think what makes this such a great read is the level of innocence that is lost. I think it has more of an impact than if it were people with similar traits. Real people can never be as innocent as magical cartoon ponies.
I hope they heal physically as well as mentally, A wound that Pinkie got would be a death sentence to a real pony. There is no such thing as a peg-leg pony--only dead ones. But then again, real ponies don't eat eggs (in the TV show), and fresh spring grass after a period of winter starvation would cause laminitus, and Derpy would have had to come into heat before she snogged Big Mac, but I guess that stuff doesn't matter to magical cartoon ponies
. It'd probably be a distraction to the plot anyway. It would probably make it harder for people to identify with them too.
Besides, if they somehow got healed--they would probably feel real guilty about that with them being completely fine and everpony else is maimed or dead.
Okay, I just read the whole thing in the course of 6 hours and it is now 4am and I am stunned. THIS. WAS. AWESOME. But you lost me a bit at the end here. I am not entirely sure who Celestia is talking to. Herself? Screwball? This is really, REALLY weird. In a nice way.
Keep up the good work. Though this here is grimdark as fuck, even more so than the infamous "Cupcakes", I really enjoy the read. It is just... honest. You truely can convey feelings with your writing. I find myself caring about characters I normally would not have given a second thought to.
Have my compliments. And 5 stars.
37572
Yeah, in My Little Pony the extent to which they're horses is...well...they have four legs, their ears go back when they're sad, they don't eat animal flesh, and they make puns. I've found that even ever-so-mildly increasing the horsiness--like having Rarity nip at a pony to bully her--just comes off as bizarre. Like you said, making them horsey makes them alien. We can easily identify with four-legged humans with tails. But actual horse behavior is quite different from human behavior, and frankly actual horse behavior is pretty much incompatible with the entire society they've built.
You mention Derpy. Her relationship with Big Mac is founded on human feelings. Simply put, she doesn't want to be alone. She had one pony who made her feel less alone--a pony she respected, admired, and relied on beyond his role as confidant. And she felt him slipping away from her. So in desperation she threw the dice. And he responded unfavorably--for a few reasons--but in the emotional hours after the rescue, he returned her kiss. That is a thoroughly human way of beginning a sexual relationship. Horses are a bit more biological. Oh, look at that, it's time to fuck. Hey, someone, c'mon and court me. And that would just be...well, creepy.
As for Pinkie's injury, it's pretty bad, yeah. Real ponies are pretty much gone when a leg goes. Then again, in Ticket Master, Apple Jack talks about getting Granny Smith hip-replacement surgery...
...wow.
Lets review.
Firstly, I would like to say that this is one of the most powerful fictions I have ever read. The fic is expertly written, expressing pure emotion and feeling into the writing. It is written better than most BOOKS I read. There were several Points where I was close to either weeping uncontrollably, or punching the screen in. Bravo. I have not been this entertained by a fanfic since...ever. Possibly my new favorite.
Now we start with the first part of this chapter. It starts with what Im guessing is reinstating the current emotional status of each of the mane six, Applejack, clearly scared to tell her ponies the truth, for fear that they might dessert her, has decided to not tell them anything, hoping that they will be blissfully unaware. Rainbow Dash deciding to do nothing but follow orders, because being loyal to people can hurt more than it can help. Pinkie Pie is hysterrical, trying to convince herself that war isnt scary, while a voice in her head is literally screaming at her to face the facts. Twilight Sparkle is depressed because she thinks her friends will never be the same after the war, or even still want to be her friend. Fluttershy is still trying to stay in la-la land, but the reality of the war is slowly dawning upon her once again. Rarity is being a complete heartless b*tch who turns down some sick fillies looking for medicine, even though she has plenty to give. She thinks you cant be generous to someone without depriving someone else. I want to point out that the opening scene with rarity made me want to cry and punch in the screen at the same time.
Anyway, on comes the battle, which dosen't go as planned, as one might have expected. As Applejack's troops attempt to lure the whole griffon army to the left, as ordered, nearly all of her soldiers dessert her and run before they even begin fighting. And its all because she didnt tell them what was going on.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is watching Applejack's forces become hamburgerized, she is mentally torn between following orders and being loyal to her friends. Applejack really needs the help, but the last time she disobeyed orders, she ended up as the cause of thousands of ponie's deaths. In the end, she finally decides to aid Applejack(who is now badly wounded). As her company of lancers charge, the rest of the pegasus follow, and the warzone becomes complete mayhem.
Next, Pinkie Pie's company is once again pulled into the eye of the storm in a desperate struggle to maintain the line. It is at this point that she completely loses all rational thought, and now thinks shes playing a game. A game where you lie down and sleep when you lose. She giggles as she pops a lion's head "like a tomato being hit by a hammer". When she sees one of her ponies torn to shreds and killed slowly and painfully, she laughs out loud and tells them that they "can't win when their front legs are like that!" eventually, she miscalculates a jump, and a lion rips off one of her hooves, where she finally gets some sense knocked into her, just in time for the horrible pain to course through her body. She screams, but nobody notices, because so many ponies are screaming at the same time.
Now we reach the climax of the battle. Spitfire is (presumably) mortally wounded, and Dash flees the battlefield, desperate to save her friend. When the rest of the pegasus see her running, they break and run. Applejack and Pinkie, now with practically no actual forces to command, drag themselves away from the pony massacre. Celestia, now desperate to salvage the battle, orders everypony in the army to form a line and march toward the enemy. Every. Pony. Even Rarity and her girls(and boys) are forced out to the front line. Then Celestia herself starts flying around, fighting.
Then Celestia somehow is knocked unconcious. All the ponies run like hell. The griffons and lions pursue. It is at this point that the mane six realize their mistakes and are seized by the elements of harmony. They all realize that they have all(exept twilight) been acting like the opposite of their element. Some magical power siezes them, and they all float up over celestia's body(she's not dead, dont worry), and they all reunite. They then activate the elements and save the day.
Unfortuneately, I find major issues with the ending of this chapter. First off, it seems like sort of a cheap trick. Usually, this sort of thing is used as a desperate move when writers have taken too much from the good guys, and he/she seeks to correct the problem with a swift trump card(please dont think I'm critisizing your writing skills, I am not trying to). This case, though it does add a lot to the plot development, still seems a bit cheap. I mean, come ON, the griffons HAD them! I almost felt sorry for the griffons.
Secondly, I am not sure, but I am assuming that the elements of harmony were used as some sort of ultimate weapon. It just seems unlikely that the bright light scared all the griffons away, or it made all the lions thow down their weapons because their hearts were filled with joy. My main problems with the elements being used like that is the fact that I cant physically see the elements of harmony being used as a tool to hurt things. It just dosent fit. However, that whole argument is based on the assumption that they were being used as a weapon. You hereby have the right to disregard that whole paragraph if I am mistaken.
Other than those two things, I thought the chapter was written amazingly. Thank you for writing such a great fanfic, and thank you for taking the time to read this
P.S: I apologize if you encounter any spelling errors. Im writing this on my crappy tiny iPod screen, and it wont let me look at the things I've already written
P.P.S: "A strangled, incoherent whisper excaped her lips.". I believe you meant " ESCAPED her lips."
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Thanks for the kind words!
As regards your concerns: I recognize that the Elements of Harmony were something of an unexpected development there, and no reader likes a deus ex machina saving the heroes from the author's own ineptness. Truthfully, the coda conversation was intended to be the opening of the next time we see the Mane 6, a few chapters from now. I bumped it up to now simply to prevent readers from thinking I had magically made all the ponies good again, because I haven't. They're the same ponies they were "yesterday," they just realize that isn't how they want to be--and they realized that without the aid of the Elements.
Still, there is ambiguity. And while I wanted to end on an ambiguous note, I recognize that ambiguity often causes people to assume the worst, especially when I'm brushing up against a possible awful cliche. It'll become clearer later, but I promise I didn't deploy the Elements to get the ponies out of a bad situation I had accidentally written them into. I deliberately wrote them into a bad situation so I could deploy the Elements. Believe it or not, this battle was the first scene I conceived when I started seriously planning this fic. Everything that happened to the Mane 6 beforehand was written with this moment in mind. Everything that will happen to the Mane 6 will flow from this moment as well.
And as for what the Elements did? Frankly, right now we have no idea what the Elements did other than "go boom." We know that at some point somewhere (likely but not certainly later) Celestia and another pony (likely but not certainly one of the Mane 6) have a brief conversation. We have no idea where they are, what happened to the Mane 6, what happened to Celestia, or what happened to either army. Right now all we know is that the ponies realized they were untrue to themselves, the Elements possessed them, and something magical happened. But we don't know what it is yet. And we won't know for a little bit. Maybe it killed all the gryphons! As you say, that seems unlikely. Maybe it made all the gryphons friendly! As you say, that seems unlikely as well. We'll find out exactly what they did and why they did it soon.
And thanks for pointing out the mistake. I posted this chapter at 1am Chinese time, and I am currently suffering from a particularly nasty bout of some sort of illness. I've been bedridden for some time, and haven't been able to keep down food in a day and a half. I tried to catch all the little errors and awkward phrasings and minor continuity errors, but no doubt I've left a few in there.
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Ok see, I really like this story. But "the next time we see the Mane 6, a few chapters from now" scares me. Not in the "I think they're dead sense", but in the fact that it likely not all Derpy.
Like I said I really enjoy this story, but I really strongly dislike Gilda's sections. I just don't care about her. I'm sure you have some big thing planned out and its all important and Screwball and the Talons are cool concepts.
But I just don't care, I have no connection to the characters, they're in some Zebra city that's not described and that is too far away from anyone else to matter and only Gilda seems to have any meaningful dialogue.
I hope the next few chapters reveal why I should care, because EVERYTHING else I love.
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There will be one Gilda chapter and multiple Derpy chapters before we see the Mane 6 again. Looking at my plan for this fic, there will be perhaps two or three more Gilda chapters (including the next one) over the course of the rest of the story, and as you may be able to tell, there will be quite a bit more story to tell. It's been over 30,000 words since we've last seen her, and this is approximately the Rate of Gilda Appearances I plan on maintaining.
The Gilda chapters are short, few, and will prove entirely crucial to the plot. I understand that they're received as something of an unrelated intrusion on the twin stories of ponies at war that make up the bulk of this fiction, but if they didn't exist, a later climactic development would seem like a complete asspull. And Screwball is far more important to this story than she appears at the moment.
I apologize if I haven't made them as entertaining as the others. I really do. I don't want to make anyone suffer through boring chapters, and I may have spent too long before I've given them something truly important to do. I like the plot I've given them, but I can see the whole thing at once. I suppose I'll chalk it up to a first-time writer's mistake.
I like stories that fugue multiple story lines together. I have enough faith in the author to reserve judgement once the story is finished being told. I don't think any less of him or the material if he chooses to end a chapter with lots of questions unanswered--that's just good writing. I consider it great in that we can live in a time where we get to see stories being created before our very eyes and we can comment on them in almost real time from all over the world, but I hope that the author has enough confidence in his work to keep doing what he's doing without second guessing.
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" I suppose I'll chalk it up to a first-time writer's mistake"
Youre a first time writer???
Respect earned.
So, we have ascertained that gryphons are somewhat smarter than the Abwehr. I wonder whether or not it was Caramel who was turned into Pony Major Martin...
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I agree mostly. Unanswered questions don't make good writing, its the engagement that often comes from unanswered questions. I know my post may have read bluntly, but I really love the this fic and it's direction.
I just mean like.... Celestia herself admitted that a regular spear to the noggin will be fatal, so why does Screwball need some crazy lost magic? Now I know there is some important plot stuff or it wouldn't be in the story, but the fact that no one knows the plan except occasionally, when Screwball can remember, and she won't ever say it, is off-putting.
I only want to see this get better and better so I'm operating under the assumption that constructive criticism, I hope, is better than silence or generic praise, of which emkaji deserves, Great Job.
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I absolutely agree with you. The Gilda plot has progressed according to "plan," but I can think of at least three things I could have done to make it as engaging as the rest of the story, which I didn't for deliberate but stupid reasons. I'll go back and "fix" them sometime in the next few weeks, but I certainly can't do that before Gilda's next chapter is posted. Working on it.
Okay, so, basically, the only Element who was capitalising on her .. Element-ness in this war was Twilight. And even that is suspect, as Celestia has stated she was grooming her to rule. Because of them failing to effectively judge when is the right time to be heroes, and when the right time to be soldiers, they have caused the deaths of thousands of ponies. RD being the most obvious one, as her actions against orders were initiated a pitched battle, whilst her recent decision to blindly follow orders... pretty much lost them a pitched battle. Hell, I'm not entirely sure where the 3rd Lancers Derpy leads in the beginning is going to come from - after a rout like that, the unit aught to either be dead or completely discredited. AJ completely failed to inspire loyalty in her troops - the first time, it was because she partook in conjecture, and destroyed her troops faith in the generals. The second time, because she preached blind faith in the generals, and failed to inspire faith in herself. Pinkie, well, she just completely failed to lead her troops. Granted, the first time she had been ordered into a massacre, but the second time she should have ordered the retreat as soon as the line infantry fled. Rarity... Okay, I'll admit, the problems of a quartermaster effectively stymie any attempts at generosity, but she can at least attempt to use her reputation to get supplies - the best quartermasters have contacts who can get them anything they need whenever they need it. And in war, noone asks questions. As for Fluttershy - she would have been a great nurse, probably saved a few hundred ponies by herself. Instead, she lived in a cave for a few months. Nuff said.
But, seriously, when the 'saviours of ponykind' are being out... 'saviour-ed' by Derpy Hooves, then they are clearly doing something wrong.
Truly, I weep at the amount of tactical mistakes here - I mean, AJ, for example, is an officer with a history of leading units that desert at the first oppportunity - so you put her unit in a vulnerable position, which is actually crucial to your plans?Hell, why is she even still an officer in charge of green troops - veteran soldiers can perform the tasks of their officer if said officer proves incompetent.
Anyway, I'm just ranting now - but that's good, I'm ranting about the stupidity of the characters _in_ the story, not the story itself - which means you've got me really hooked. Finally, you did _not_ just kill Celestia, did you? She is just unconscious, right?
Yeah, I've been struck by how horrible Luna is at directing the army. She keeps coming up with a clever plan that is destined to fail for predictable reasons. She was *warned* that Rainbow Dash would screw up the first one, and that the second plan was ridiculously risky. Although without Rainbow Dash being suicidal it would have killed a few thousand ponies and let the rest of the army escape. x.x
(and my wild guess for 'what did the elements do' is 'mass evac')
But I'm loving this story. n.n Even if some of the chapters leave me depressed for the rest of the day. v.v
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That's all more or less correct. You've picked up on some things I've been putting in the story but which haven't been explicitly spotlighted yet. Sharp eyes!
Luna is a very smart pony. She also is demonstrably--and canonically--terrible with ponies. When I wrote her, I decided she would be yin and Celestia would be yang: Luna would be a quiet, brilliant and subversive tactician who wrote plans that looked great on paper but didn't understand ponies in the slightest, while Celestia would be a strong leader with unexceptional generalship skills, neither of whom would, alone, be capable of leading an army against long odds. When the Luna halloween episode came out, I just struck "quiet" from the list and tinkered with her earlier cameos.
Luna makes plans that simply don't work, because they rely on everything going right and she doesn't bother to make back-up plans or give officers the tools they need to lead effectively when things don't work right--because ultimately she doesn't even consider the possibility that the battle might not go exactly as she imagined it. She's the kind of pony who would kick ass in chess, but who doesn't really understand that war isn't just chess with many more pieces: battles aren't pieces moving around a field; they're thousands of soldiers and hundreds of officers making decisions under extreme stress. She'd be well suited to be a general under somepony who could analyze her schemes and decide what's a good idea and what isn't. Diversionary flanking attack? Ambush after false retreat? Both classic gambits. Kind of the equivalent of an American-football trick play (if I had to assign a comparison, it would be flea-flicker and fake punt, respectively). Either can destroy an army if used right, but...usually it's a better idea to just call a standard pass or run. Especially if your team is almost exclusively rookies.
Celestia, for her part, is a strong leader but she delegates poorly. In Canterlot, she's used to coming up with ideas and telling some old greybeard to carry them out and he does an okay job and it's fine. She's now surrounded by greybeards, and she tells them to do things, and he does an okay job but an "okay job" means some pretty big things are going to fall through the cracks (like poor scouting leading to the first battle even occurring, or like an accounting error leading to the army being unprepared for a month of starvation). Frankly, her old generals are roundly awful, but she sticks with them to carry out her decisions because putting old ponies between the Princess and administration Is What The Princess Does.
Neither are really sufficient to win a war by themselves, as you've noticed. Not good leadership, girls! Perhaps if they were somehow combined into one pony, then...no, that's silly, I obviously won't do that. Perhaps if there were another pony who were well suited to leadership. A pony who could end up leading all of Equestria when the Princesses prove they can't do it. Perhaps if there was...
...The Inspirational and Subtle Trixie!
(that was a joke there will never be trixie I promise)
I hope you don't give to much away.
Lol @ people complaining about the elements saving the day. I like this chapter because it showed that Luna is fallible. That is all.
I had a lump in my throat throughout this entire chapter. This was powerful. I thank you for writing such a wonderful story.
37622
About pinkie's crippled leg... And applejack's broken legs, what the heck is going to happen man!
For the most part i dont read. But i disovered this story yesterday and read for a good 5 hours and stopped at the end of this chapter. All i can really say is well done! Youve combined medeval warfare with a hint of Napoleonic era, AND ponies in one long kick ass story that is simply amazing. Now, here i am about to read the rest of it! Keep the chapters coming!
lets hope derpy is having a better time than the mane 6
I was listening to Pink Floyd while reading this.
Big mistake. That part with Spitfire got me bad.
I didn't cry reading All Quiet on the Western Front, but I'll cry now.
This is good grimdark. Not grimdark for the sake of being sick and unpleasant, but grimdark in a way that helps the story. And makes it fucking horrible to read. Horrible in a good way, you understand, as in like having your heart run through a cheese slicer. Fabulous characterisation. Bit mawkish at times, but so fantastically mawkish at the right times that you don't care.
WOW!
This chapter was really amazing! It was so sad it nearly made me cry. CONGRATULATIONS THIS WAS AWESOME!
I have to read on, I bucking love this story!
I just got more and more mad as I read the battle!
And even if The Elements saved the day, there is no way anypony would take orders from any of the Mane 6 (besides Twilight) again.
Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash would have all lost any respect by their ponies. If they even have any ponies left!
Well, I suppose Applejack has most of hers since they just ran away.
But they would still never follow her again.
Textbook clusterfuck, poor Applejack failed to realize that bad intel gets just as many ponies killed as loose lips, and pinkie, oh god poor pinkie, that was painful to read. I feel that if Fluttershy hadn't deserted, she probably would been the best medic Equestria ever concieved. I also find myself a bit discouraged, I have had plans for a moving, elaborate but suprisingly modern war story about grunts who weren't the mane 6, but now, I don't know, I guess I'll try but it seems futile compared to this beautifull, yet dark, gruesome, and moving story. I don't know, I guess time will tell what I'm capable of.
This chapter is the turning point of the entire story I see.
Silver out!
Wow. It took them that long and that many ponies to die before they realized what complete idiotic jerks they'd been?
Also: Celestia dying but not dying?! Well played Mr. Author, well played......
Why in the holy hell did I have my orchestral mix playing while reading? Moonlight Sonata, ending just as Celestia came back. Holy fuck. I have not felt like this in a long time. Well done. The pure emotion and realization just floored my sorry ass. The sadness and the peace, but also the glimmer of hope. Simplistically, "...fuck..." would be the best description of my reaction. Truly, this is a masterpiece of fanfiction and the horrors of war. i was planning on doing an ambitious WWI/WWII/civil-war/race-war but goddamn. Everything pales in comparison to the sheer magnitude of this work in every way.
You get applause from this long-winded and sentimental fool. Thank you.
I found the perfect song.
T
This.
This was epic and heartwarming.