Several months have passed since The Dazzlings were defeated by The Rainbooms, and they are in trouble. With their singing magic gone, they find it too hard to adapt to the world they now live in.
After discovering how Twilight Sparkle was able to enter the human world, Adagio uses the portal as an opportunity to return to Equestria with Aria and Sonata. But now, they must adapt to a completely new world, for Equestria has changed so much, and they themselves had underwent a most unexpected change.
Will Adagio succeed in her dream of acquiring power and being adored by all, or will it be a dream she simply can't reach.
That convenient explanation and Sonata's bit at the end! As well as that Senata shipping!
5372815 Yeah, Sonata alone makes me debate whether or not to add a comedy tag, but at the same time, I plan on making this story rather intense.
quickmeme.com/img/7f/7fa6b0be9d5614e6e8aa57089f47c718ec462a462188bb1b058a1456cfd02d12.jpg
5372846 YAY! I'm the center of attention!
Oh, that Sonata
You have my interest
Hmmm. Not sure about this. I don't like that they learned nothing, tho
You know the We Are Farmers commercial thing? Yeah, as soon as I saw the We. are. SIRENS! thing, I couldn't help but think of the We Are Farmers thing, but with "sirens" instead of "farmers".
5376738 That, strangely enough, wasn't the weirdest thing I ever googled.
The story's... okay. It just doesn't feel particularly immersive.
5386837 Well, it is only the first chapter so far. Can't do too much right away, but I suppose I could've tried to add in a little more.
And neither of them considered destroying the mirror so Twilight and Sunset got permanently banished in Canterlot High, unable to alert the other Princesses about the Sirens´return.
Adagio's reaction to Aria's news is hilarious!
5395325 What would they do? Hurl a sledge-hammer through it and hope it doesn't goes through the portal?
What the hell was Sunset Shimmer thinking during the first movie?
*adding
*found
Those were only a couple that I noticed. You might wanna go back over and check for others I didn't mention.
5395465 Thanks for pointing them out. I always welcome help for my god awful grammar.
I've have a proof-reader for another story. I'll probably ask him if he'd be interested in this one too.
Poor Adagio
I just love how this is becoming a set of misadventures between the three. It's like watching a female League of Super Evil
5395355 the outside border of the mirror/statue can be broken. Also, they could have wrecked any of the machinery, that would give them until the next time the portal opens naturally.
Knew*
Happened*
The quotation marks at the end aren't supposed to be there.
Isn't it three against two?
You want quotation marks at the front, not paraphrasing.
To reach other?
While your art may or may not be crappy, you're right, the story matters more.
5395805 "I hate you, Aria."
But thanks. Fixed all of the mistakes there.
Not such a cunning plan
5395325
I thought the same thing.
I kept repeating, "destroy the portal," while reading that passage.
5395355
If they just trashed Twilight's jury-rigging, it would have given them at least a few moons (even if the sirens wouldn't have known that.)
Still, not a big deal.
You'll probably need Sunset and Twilight in the story anyway.
I'm keeping an eye on this one.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
--Spade
I'll give Adagio all my snuggles.
And for you, I present this comment! May it help you on your journey through life.
That was hilarious. You referenced turnabout storm, cupcakes, and dr. Wolf without making the chapter look too ridiculous. This was fun, keep it up.
5425963 Jokes like those makes me debate on whether or not I should officially call this a comedy. Though I'll be honest, the Pinkie Pie part was really meant as an inside joke for those who have been following one of my other stories. My bad really, cause that really could've been seen as a cupcakes joke. No idea why that didn't cross my mind. :P
And actually, there's an interesting thing about the Dr. Wolf bit. For the sake of torturing you and anyone else who reads this comment, that's all I will say. I'm evil like that.
There's not supposed to be a fell in there.
*hat.
Do you mean '...his wallet?'
*had.
I point out your mistakes because I care.
5395497
I noticed in this chapter that the grammar seems worse. I guess that proofreader didn't end up helping out with this story?
Heh, Aria's last line
5426611 And I appreciate every bit of help.
5426776 No, but I thought it actually went a bit better than the other chapters. :(
5427446
Oof.
I'd give these guys a look.
*released
*supposed
That sentence is a mess. I hope you can see why. I think this is what you were going for:
Any luck on getting an editor?
5470470 No, but I'll accept any volunteers for it, so if you're interested, you can be it.
I'm particularly embarrassed about the drop dead joke. I would've looked over that part a couple of times, so I have no idea how I missed such an obvious mistake.
Eh. I'm usually okay with some amount of typographical errors, but there were a lot (7+ in first half of chapter alone), and varied (spelling error, word choice, missing words, missing punctuation, strange sentences etc, etc). It's distracting from the story itself. I quit halfway through.
I also don't really buy that they were earning (only) thousands of dollars per month before, for decades, and yet without their magic they've run dry in a scant few months.
5470786 I'm sorry about the grammar mistakes as I'm not a good editor, yet for the story itself, I will defend it. You seem to be under the impression that the Dazzlings, who are shown as teenagers, are in their 40's.
I'm also very open to help, so feel free to point out these mistakes that I have clearly missed. Other wise, you didn't really provide a very productive comment.
Normally, I'd expect tsundere behavior from Aria
A pity that the Dazzlings' plans for grandeur blew in their faces after pushing away Mayor Mare.
5471803 Feels good to finally get a comment that isn't about my spelling errors. I was starting to wonder if people was actually liking the story.
5472404 No need to feel down. It happens with me sometimes, but that doesn't mean they don't like it flat out.
5472570 Hey thanks. After thinking about it all this morning, I really needed to hear that.
5472631 No prob
I had a hunch about the wolf.
That Team Fortress 2 reference
This was a slightly heartwarming chapter.
Think you mean fresh air.
I think there should be a 'she' after 'while'.
That 'a' should be an 'an'.
'Silent' should be 'silently'.
I think you mean 'depressed'.
Looking forward to more.
5542026 Aria is best grammar checker.
I just wish I didn't make such mistakes. The fresh air one in particular makes me want to kick my own ass.
5542001 Then you will LOVE this Watch this.
And thank you. I was going for a more emotional chapter. In fact, the last two will be too.
5542123 Don't beat yourself up about it . Just remember that when you make mistakes your friends will be there to
point them out and make you feel badmake sure you do better in the future.5542136 Oh it was also emotional, especially when Dr. Wolf brought up on how hard work and dedication don't always help folks accomplish their dreams.
I want Dr.Wolf to do a Moment with Dr.Wolf with all the MLP Antagonist, especially Discord, Luna and Sunset Shimmer...especially Sunset Shimmer.
5544493 Who knows. He's ben doing it for the mane 6, so it's not out of the realm of possibility.
Rather interesting take on a meeting between Adagio and DRWolf. And reading through this now, I can understand why you wanted to make this kind of story.
5622510 I was just worried that the subject matter would've been too sensitive due to it being based on one of your more emotional videos, but I'm glad that it didn't bother you. Thank you very much for reading it.
Damn. Pretty powerful chapter here.
I wonder how the conclusion will play out