A Leviathan crashes and embeds itself deep within the Western Equestria Mountain Range. Pretty soon, portals start opening up around the land, and the wicked terrors that lie behind these portals, is beyond words.
The Ing.
And now, it's up to Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and the Aetherian Space Pirate Grenadier Gradis Magis to fight off these Darkling monstrosities. Only one problem, not only do they have stolen equipment from their last enemy, the Luminoth, they've also adapted themselves to light. Can the five friends prevent these malicious beings from draining Equestria of all energy to fuel its Ing-infested doppelganger? Or will the Ing rise, and defeat the ponies, once and for all.
Chapters (2)
And, to make sure you don't have to complain about it in the comments, let me clear something:
I am, to the fullest extent, aware that a Space Pirate's scythe is probably forever attached to his arm, and it probably replaces their left hand. However, this is my response:
It's fanfiction, you can do whatever the hell you want, as long as it makes enough sense.
So, are we good on that?
ING! ING! The F*CKING ING!
Well. I like the idea. I see character which is nice and it's worded well but what confuses the hell out of me is that a space pirate... is GOOD!!?!?
Feels a little rushed though but still you get my thumbs.
METROID CROSSOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It happened her today. I hope Samus comes in, because I will be so sad if she doesn't.
513719
I would've liked to explain it in my other crossover Ridley in Ponyville, but I guess I have to now.
In the end of RiP (It's unfinished at the moment, but this is what I have planned), Gradis' entire platoon is wiped out, as well as the Tallon IV Aerotrooper Dragah Mahgra and his platoon, Ridley, as well, is destroyed. Gradis goes into hiding, but is quickly found, arrested, and stripped of armament (His grenade launcher and scythe). He's then forced to work for a shipping company as a box loader for a very small pay. When Angel gets possessed by the Ing, he realizes that, after succumbing to the lifestyle of the ponies, he realizes he might as well help fight against his old enemy.
Makes sense?
EDIT: And, sadly, rushing is a problem I have sometimes. I'll make sure that doesn't happen in the future
513759
I understand your explanation and get it but... Space pirate just seem so heartless. I've seen in both gaming and in pirate lore from the trilogy how they treat everyone as well as each other and it is pretty messed up. I just find hard to imagine but its your fic so whatever
513783
I understand, and I'm a big fan of Metroid, I've read most of the lores, thankfully owning the whole trilogy, and I've also read the manga out of curiosity.
However, there is a part where a trapped Pirate submits, and seems like...well...excuse my language, but, well, he seems like a pussy. So, what I assumed, is that, probably because of their cowardice, they submit to their captors.
I hope that makes enough sense...
Let me tell you about myself for a second. I'm in school for a BFA in Visual Communication (aka graphic design). I have this really bad habit when I receive an assignment: I think of the most ambitious, complicated, and time-consuming solution for the problem that could be solved with something very small and simple. Sometimes, it pays off. I may have to simplify the idea a little, but if I can get close, it'll still be a good result. Other times, it can end up ruining my grades. I won't have the time, money, resources, or skill to complete the project. So I end up with something I could barely call art in place of the wonderful thing I had conceived.
I'm a little afraid that's what you are doing here. Your writing is fine, for the most part. I just think your idea is better than your writing.
This is going to have very niche appeal, since readers have to be metroid and pony fans. It's hard enough to make pony fans happy most of the time, so appealing to both would be a nightmare. You've already made me wary by using the Ing.
Also, by including a space pirate character, you have already left out a lot of detail that I'm sure readers would prefer to at least catch as back story, like how Gradis ended up in Equestria. Did he try to kill somepony? How did Celestia treat him? He could have such a rich back story, but all we get is that he was "punished" by being given the normal life of a pony.
I'm trying to be constructive here. I love Metroid, I love ponies. So if you can write a good story about both, I will be all over that. I just think you need to start smaller. Perhaps I will check out this Ridley story you mentioned.
513820
Fuck...I just realized the mistake I made...
Gradis Magis is a character from another story I'm currently working on: Ridley in Ponyville. How he ended up in Equestria is explained there, as he was sent with a platoon of 6 grenadiers as well as a skiff and pilot as use as a support package for a group of Aerotroopers sent there before. The story isn't finished, and I realized that I created this a tad bit early to do that.
For more understanding on why Gradis is in Equestria, you'd have to read this: Ridley in Ponyville: Chapter 6: Reinforcements.
And I understand that there are many readers on here that aren't fans of the Metroid franchise. So they obviously won't know that the Ing is a species that was the main antagonist in Metroid Prime 2: Echoes. Once again, I'm sorry about this.
However, more explaining can be done as the story progresses. This is just an introduction, so Celestia knows what can happen in the future.
All I expect Gradis to be thinking is; FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
514569
Like I said in the comments for RiP, he might die, or I may include some amazing plot-twist that saves his life (As, one thing that is for sure: A full-scale Space Pirate invasion is going to be planned).
Anyways, I'm gonna stop spoiling both stories and leave it to you guys to decide
Spoilers for Ridley in Ponyville so soon? Shame on you.
...
-sigh-...
Well that's your business anyway. You really like killing off the nice ones don't you?
561162
Apologies, my friend, I get carried away sometimes with ideas
And, I guess it's kind of a habit to take out the nice ones (i.e. Fluttershy, Angel (Though I wouldn't really consider him to be the friendliest creature every), etc.) as it kinda builds some sympathy. Sure, it's more melancholic than sad, but I still give it that effect
564334 That's true... but overuse of it certainly risks the hardening of the reader against it.
564466
I understand, and I'll avoid doing that in the future
564537 I only call for careful weighing of the options first... far be it from me to tell you what to do with your stories. Also, I tend to be REALLY hard on my characters... especially my protagonists, so we're both at fault.
564548
"'I-...Are you going to h-hurt me?' Derpy asked nervously. 'Hm...You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you, ‘Derpy Hooves’?' he asked rudely. He looked at Derpy one more time, then force his tail down, slamming the face of the pegasus into the ground.
'OF COURSE I AM GOING TO HURT YOU! YOU IMBECILE!' he screamed.
He lifted his tail up, and looked at the pony, her right eye was swollen shut and a deep shade of purple, her nose was crooked, and dripping blood. She faced to the side as she spit a tooth out.
'I-...I’m so s-sorry.' the grey pegasus whimpered.
'SORRY FOR WHAT? SORRY THAT YOU’RE SOME MENTALLY CHALLENGED FOOL THAT CAN’T EVEN TELL WHEN SOMEBODY’S GOING TO HURT THEM?! IF SO, YOU SHOULD BE PRETTY DAMN SORRY!' Ridley screamed in the face of the pony.
Derpy Hooves began crying. Ridley looked at the creature without remorse, he arched his tail back to slam the pony into the ground again, when a familiar voice stopped him in the middle of his action."
Yeah, I know what you mean
, but, as I've stated several times before, RiP and An Unwelcome Visitor are fully intended to be grimlight stories. So pain, injury, and even death are not uncommon in my writing.
564593 I just don't have a taste for grim anything... my mind is creative enough without reaching the far ends of the spectrum. Regardless, I owe you as an old acquaintance to read them through, so I shall. I guess I'll wait for more.
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Me Gusta.
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IMMA TRACKIN' DIS STORY!!!!
Keep up all your hard work and I look forward to the next update.
HOLY SHNIZZIM!!! What's going on. Who is Amorbis? The name doesn't sound familiar. Did you just create it as a plot device?
Anyway, I await the next chapter.
917847
metroid.retropixel.net/mprime2/boss_amorbis1.jpg
That, my friend, is Amorbis.
917894 Ooooohhhhhhhhh... Yeah I remember him.
When will they freaking make a new metroid game
the only hints so far is that unfinished Metroid Dread
2114273
Eh, that was a canceled idea way back in '06.
But I do remember that reference those sneaky bastards at Retro put in Metroid Prime 3: Corruption.
Will the ing recreate the Chykka or Quadraxis?
2986905
I'm still working on trying to weave this into Metroid's canon. It's supposed to take place after the events of Echoes, and I thought that recreating a major boss like Amorbis was pushing the envelope a bit, so probably not.
(Out of breath) Need..... Update....
Story.... Good...
3164160
I would give you some ice cold update but, under the known circumstances, finding a good time is too difficult sometimes.
I can totally imagine the galactic federation swooping in and helping defend the planet, while temporarily having to be allies with Gladis.