The Beginning of the End
“Damn ponies....This is a ridiculous punishment...but...I suppose it’s better than death...poor Dragah...” Gradis grumbled to himself to himself. He looked around at his work, carrying boxes for a meager pay.
“I suppose it’s better than ordinary community service.”
He glanced at his hands, he had been stripped of his grenade launcher and scythe, all that remained was two claws, four fingers on each hand.
The grey Pirate mumbled as he stacked a group of boxes. He looked at the clock, 4:30, his work was done. He stumbled out of the large warehouse, and into a small office. There was a blue unicorn sitting there, she looked up as the former-grenadier stood before her, an open palm jutting from his body.
The unicorn grunted, then picked up three, golden coins with her magic, levitating them to the awaiting entity in front of her.
“Now...get out of here...I can’t stand the sight of you...” she growled.
“Fine...whatever...” Gradis moaned. He looked at her one more time, then put the coins in a small drawstring pouch attached to his waist.
He looked around of the crowd pointing at him, glaring. He felt humiliated, he felt depressed, his entire platoon was wiped out, Dragah Mahgra’s platoon was wiped out, and Ridley was dead. He was the only one left, and he wallowed into a world of hate and shame.
He kept on walking until he reached a small building, he walked in, and was greeted by a glare from the two ponies inside. A small, light-purple unicorn, and a larger, grey pegasus. Gradis didn’t know about either of them much, but he assumed that the pegasus was the unicorn’s mother.
“Well...thank you, again, for letting me stay here, Miss Derpy Hooves.” the Pirate said.
Derpy glared at him again, and replied with a snooty, “Oh...whatever...”
Gradis sighed, he walked over to a small sofa so he could somewhat sit down, sick of squatting in the small building. The grey mailmare looked at her houseguest, she could see in his glaring, yellow eyes that he was swamped with regret and shame. She groaned, then mumbled, “Mister...um...Mis-”
“Magis....Mister Gradis Magis...”
“Right...Anyways...I’m really sorry that you have to be like this...and I know neither me or my daughter treat you with much respect...but...could you forgive us?”
Gradis was confused, the normally bubbly, rather slow pony sounded very intelligent. He looked at her, still seeing that she had her walleyed expression, then thanked her.
“So...perhaps...well...tomorrow’s your day off? Right?”
“Yeah...I think so...why?”
“Well, maybe we could travel Ponyville for a bit...get you more...well...well-suited?”
“I suppose so.”
“Great!”
Derpy started bouncing up and down rather energetically. Her daughter looked at her with a smile, while the Aetherian Space Pirate looked at her with confusion. Gradis shook his head, and chuckled. Normally, he would’ve taken the two ponies’ heads off with his scythe, but stripped of all his weapons, he learned to accept his new lifestyle.
The grey pegasus stopped as she heard a distant rumbling. Inquisitively, she and Gradis walked outside, and the Pirate stopped, speechless.
A large, meteorite-like object was coming down, fast, a bright-yellow aura surrounding it. It shot through the atmosphere, then landed, sending a shockwave across the town, and blowing out several windows.
“Miss Hooves-”
She cut him off, “My friends call me Derpy.” she said with a smile.
“Well then...Derpy...I’m going to go see what that was...because I think I know what it is.”
“Do you want me to come along?”
“No. It’s fine, plus, it’d be a bit dangerous.”
“Oh...okay...”
Gradis turned around, then started in the direction of the meteor.
---------
“Are you sure she would want us to do this, Twi’?”
“Yes Rainbow, she would want us to take care of him for her.”
Rainbow Dash grunted in annoyance as Twilight looked at the small, white rabbit standing before them. The lavender pony tried holding him, but he rejected. “Face it, Twi’, Fluttershy’s the only pony that Angel will let them touch.” the daredevil intervened.
“Yeah...but Fluttershy isn’t here, anymore, remember?” Twilight snapped.
“Look, all I need to do, is-” she was cut off as a small speck appeared in the small library. The two ponies then screamed as the small speck became a large, black cloud. It hung in the air for a moment, then started drifting towards Angel.
MUSICAL CONTENT NOTICE:
This is a quick note to tell you to open this song in another tab to boost the overall effect, enjoy! MP2: Echoes: Possessed Soldier Theme
“No! Twilight! STOP IT!” Rainbow Dash screamed in vain, but it was too late.
The black mass enveloped the rabbit in itself, they looked in horror of the monster Angel began mutating into. His white fur became a shade of purple, his eyes turned red, his small, buck-teeth became sharp mandibles, and his paws turned into lizard-like claws.
The mutated creature arched its back, then roared. It came back down, and started walking slowly to the two friends. “Twilight...DO SOMETHING!”
Twilight nodded, and, seconds later, her horn began glowing. She shot out a beam of magic, and it hit the monster. It got knocked back, but didn’t seem to do much else.
Angel spread his legs and planted his feet, then roared again, Twilight noticed how different it sounded, not even like an normal animal. She yelled in fear as a purple orb began forming in front of the bunny, then it fired. The ball hit the wall, and exploded, taking out a decently-sized chunk of it.
Gradis darted past to get to the impact sight, then heard the anguished scream of the two ponies. He stopped, then thought Hm...looks like they need h-. Then he heard the roar of the creature.
He stood there, eyes wide, No...it-...it can’t be.... He rushed inside of the building, then ran upstairs. He saw the two ponies backed against the wall, then saw it. The bunny turned its head, and looked at Gradis.
They stood there for a moment, then the creature charged.
Gradis got out of the way as the bunny hit the wall, it turned around, and prepared to charge again. This time, Gradis held out his palm, and caught the creature. He put it to the ground, and started punching it. It damaged the creature, but only slightly, he then looked at Twilight, and shouted, “Quick! Do you know any spells that fire a direct source of light?” in a raspy tone.
“Yeah....one...but-” Twilight was cut off as Magis screamed “USE IT ON THIS THING!”
The unicorn nodded quickly, then prepared for another blast of magic. In a matter of seconds, her horn glowed white, and a beam of white light fired and made its target.
She looked in horror as Angel started convulsing, burning from the immense power of the spell. Then, the black vapor left the body, and disappeared.
They ran around Angel, but it was too late, he was dead.
“Gradis....I...what-...What was that?” Twilight asked, shaking.
The Pirate looked at the two ponies, then said “Let’s take a seat, then I’ll explain.”
---------
Gradis looked at the two ponies from the table, then began.
“When I worked on Aether as a grenadier, we were at war with this race of creatures. They had their own dark variant of the world, and they could travel between dimensions.”
“What’re these things called?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“The Ing. A race of malevolent creatures hell-bent on taking over every world they come to. How they managed to attack so quickly after the Leviathan hit is a-”
“The Leviathan?” Twilight inquired.
“A phazon-based creature that takes the form of a native of that planet. They come from the planet Phaaze, but...I don’t understand how one could come here after it was destroyed by the Federation.”
“Phazon? Phaaze? The Federation? I...I don’t-...What are you talking about?”
“I can’t explain now...but the Ing, as we speak, are creating a dark doppelganger of Equestria. That rabbit-”
“Angel.” the ponies interrupted in unison.
“Angel was possessed by a darkling, he was already dead the second the thing took over his body. I’m sorry, but that’s how it works. There’s only one way we can deal with the Ing, and that’s by killing the Emperor.”
Gradis moaned, then looked at the pegasus and unicorn, “The Princess is the only one who we can consult with. If we don’t do it fast enough, they’ll start spreading. And we’ll-”
He stopped as the vague screams came from down the street. He looked out the window, and his jaw hung slack.
Three, massive, black creatures, looking halfway between a hand and a spider. It had five, thin legs, a large, red eye, and several, tentacle like appendages behind it.
“No...No...This-...This can’t be happening...How...HOW?!” Gradis screamed on the last word. “What...Gradis...what is it?” Twilight asked, confused.
“Warrior Ing...they’re looking for us.”
A/N:
Sorry for this being the shortest story I’ve ever written. However, this is the introduction. This takes a bit after Ridley in Ponyville, and I understand it spoils a little of what happens in the future. But, because of my bad memory (Freakin’ ADHD), I wanted to get at least the intro done on this. I hope you all enjoy!
And, to make sure you don't have to complain about it in the comments, let me clear something:
I am, to the fullest extent, aware that a Space Pirate's scythe is probably forever attached to his arm, and it probably replaces their left hand. However, this is my response:
It's fanfiction, you can do whatever the hell you want, as long as it makes enough sense.
So, are we good on that?
ING! ING! The F*CKING ING!
Well. I like the idea. I see character which is nice and it's worded well but what confuses the hell out of me is that a space pirate... is GOOD!!?!?
Feels a little rushed though but still you get my thumbs.
METROID CROSSOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It happened her today. I hope Samus comes in, because I will be so sad if she doesn't.
513719
I would've liked to explain it in my other crossover Ridley in Ponyville, but I guess I have to now.
In the end of RiP (It's unfinished at the moment, but this is what I have planned), Gradis' entire platoon is wiped out, as well as the Tallon IV Aerotrooper Dragah Mahgra and his platoon, Ridley, as well, is destroyed. Gradis goes into hiding, but is quickly found, arrested, and stripped of armament (His grenade launcher and scythe). He's then forced to work for a shipping company as a box loader for a very small pay. When Angel gets possessed by the Ing, he realizes that, after succumbing to the lifestyle of the ponies, he realizes he might as well help fight against his old enemy.
Makes sense?
EDIT: And, sadly, rushing is a problem I have sometimes. I'll make sure that doesn't happen in the future
513759
I understand your explanation and get it but... Space pirate just seem so heartless. I've seen in both gaming and in pirate lore from the trilogy how they treat everyone as well as each other and it is pretty messed up. I just find hard to imagine but its your fic so whatever
513783
I understand, and I'm a big fan of Metroid, I've read most of the lores, thankfully owning the whole trilogy, and I've also read the manga out of curiosity.
However, there is a part where a trapped Pirate submits, and seems like...well...excuse my language, but, well, he seems like a pussy. So, what I assumed, is that, probably because of their cowardice, they submit to their captors.
I hope that makes enough sense...
Let me tell you about myself for a second. I'm in school for a BFA in Visual Communication (aka graphic design). I have this really bad habit when I receive an assignment: I think of the most ambitious, complicated, and time-consuming solution for the problem that could be solved with something very small and simple. Sometimes, it pays off. I may have to simplify the idea a little, but if I can get close, it'll still be a good result. Other times, it can end up ruining my grades. I won't have the time, money, resources, or skill to complete the project. So I end up with something I could barely call art in place of the wonderful thing I had conceived.
I'm a little afraid that's what you are doing here. Your writing is fine, for the most part. I just think your idea is better than your writing.
This is going to have very niche appeal, since readers have to be metroid and pony fans. It's hard enough to make pony fans happy most of the time, so appealing to both would be a nightmare. You've already made me wary by using the Ing.
Also, by including a space pirate character, you have already left out a lot of detail that I'm sure readers would prefer to at least catch as back story, like how Gradis ended up in Equestria. Did he try to kill somepony? How did Celestia treat him? He could have such a rich back story, but all we get is that he was "punished" by being given the normal life of a pony.
I'm trying to be constructive here. I love Metroid, I love ponies. So if you can write a good story about both, I will be all over that. I just think you need to start smaller. Perhaps I will check out this Ridley story you mentioned.
513820
Fuck...I just realized the mistake I made...
Gradis Magis is a character from another story I'm currently working on: Ridley in Ponyville. How he ended up in Equestria is explained there, as he was sent with a platoon of 6 grenadiers as well as a skiff and pilot as use as a support package for a group of Aerotroopers sent there before. The story isn't finished, and I realized that I created this a tad bit early to do that.
For more understanding on why Gradis is in Equestria, you'd have to read this: Ridley in Ponyville: Chapter 6: Reinforcements.
And I understand that there are many readers on here that aren't fans of the Metroid franchise. So they obviously won't know that the Ing is a species that was the main antagonist in Metroid Prime 2: Echoes. Once again, I'm sorry about this.
However, more explaining can be done as the story progresses. This is just an introduction, so Celestia knows what can happen in the future.
All I expect Gradis to be thinking is; FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
514569
Like I said in the comments for RiP, he might die, or I may include some amazing plot-twist that saves his life (As, one thing that is for sure: A full-scale Space Pirate invasion is going to be planned).
Anyways, I'm gonna stop spoiling both stories and leave it to you guys to decide
Spoilers for Ridley in Ponyville so soon? Shame on you.
...
-sigh-...
Well that's your business anyway. You really like killing off the nice ones don't you?
561162
Apologies, my friend, I get carried away sometimes with ideas
And, I guess it's kind of a habit to take out the nice ones (i.e. Fluttershy, Angel (Though I wouldn't really consider him to be the friendliest creature every), etc.) as it kinda builds some sympathy. Sure, it's more melancholic than sad, but I still give it that effect
564334 That's true... but overuse of it certainly risks the hardening of the reader against it.
564466
I understand, and I'll avoid doing that in the future
564537 I only call for careful weighing of the options first... far be it from me to tell you what to do with your stories. Also, I tend to be REALLY hard on my characters... especially my protagonists, so we're both at fault.
564548
"'I-...Are you going to h-hurt me?' Derpy asked nervously. 'Hm...You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you, ‘Derpy Hooves’?' he asked rudely. He looked at Derpy one more time, then force his tail down, slamming the face of the pegasus into the ground.
'OF COURSE I AM GOING TO HURT YOU! YOU IMBECILE!' he screamed.
He lifted his tail up, and looked at the pony, her right eye was swollen shut and a deep shade of purple, her nose was crooked, and dripping blood. She faced to the side as she spit a tooth out.
'I-...I’m so s-sorry.' the grey pegasus whimpered.
'SORRY FOR WHAT? SORRY THAT YOU’RE SOME MENTALLY CHALLENGED FOOL THAT CAN’T EVEN TELL WHEN SOMEBODY’S GOING TO HURT THEM?! IF SO, YOU SHOULD BE PRETTY DAMN SORRY!' Ridley screamed in the face of the pony.
Derpy Hooves began crying. Ridley looked at the creature without remorse, he arched his tail back to slam the pony into the ground again, when a familiar voice stopped him in the middle of his action."
Yeah, I know what you mean , but, as I've stated several times before, RiP and An Unwelcome Visitor are fully intended to be grimlight stories. So pain, injury, and even death are not uncommon in my writing.
564593 I just don't have a taste for grim anything... my mind is creative enough without reaching the far ends of the spectrum. Regardless, I owe you as an old acquaintance to read them through, so I shall. I guess I'll wait for more.
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Me Gusta.
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IMMA TRACKIN' DIS STORY!!!!
Keep up all your hard work and I look forward to the next update.