Pinkie Pie and Celestia have an epic battle over the last piece of cake. The resulting explosion destroys Equestria. The End! :D
~~WARNING: COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY RANDOM~~
--Inspired by the picture, made by KP-ShadowSquirrel on DeviantArt--
Sorry I've been dead for a while. I have had absolutely no motivation, and whenever I did the resulting work sucked. I promise I'll try to be more active.
Pinkie Pie and Celestia have an epic battle over the last piece of cake. The resulting explosion destroys Equestria. The End! :D
~~WARNING: COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY RANDOM~~
--Inspired by the picture, made by KP-ShadowSquirrel on DeviantArt--
:D I hope everyone loves it! Also, obvious Luna troll is obvious.
Dare I say that this may very well be one of the greatest pieces of literature I have ever read? Bravo good sir, bravo indeed.
Epic story is Epic. 'Nuff said.
Tsk Tsk Tsk....you can't just simply blow up the world!
Hey didn't simply blow up the world they blew up the universe
this was pretty good lol
"Random. Huh. Lets see how random this can get.
"..."
OH GOD I LAWLED SO HARD
I cannot express my enjoyment of this story in simple words, so here's a thumbs up and a Fluttershy
What they didn't know was that I had eaten the rest of the cake, resulting in there only being one piece left
i love the idea lol
one does not simply... share cake... between celestia and pinkie.
I have to be honest here, there are a few things that you have to work on. The first of which is to recognize you're supposed to be writing a short story, not a screenplay with bits of paragraphs put in-between. The premise of the story held a lot of promise, but fell short of the expectations that I put up for it. I wasn't expecting a life-changing experience, but I did expect to be entertained. Reading through the short story, I saw that the tale becomes a bit too meme-ridden for enjoyment, and the cues for each of the characters involved seem to be off. While this may have worked if you had it animated or put into a visual format, the story in itself does not provide enough for a reader to follow through.
The second thing is your diction and formatting. You need to work on when to put your paragraphs and when to follow through. I noticed at the beginning of Celestia's rant of "non-existent Luna, etc" that it gets much too sloppy for enjoyment, as well as you lining up most of the plot with nonsensical insertions to further disrupt the pace intended.
I won't be talking about the grammatical or spelling errors, although I am partial to a good performance in each, writing a story, one is bound to allow such errors to occur, as infrequent as they should be. I'm going to put a thumbs down for this; it was a good idea, but the execution, through all of it, needs some work. Everyone has a chance to improve. You can as well.
*Stumbles upon this story* "Oh just another short random fic"
5 mins later
"Dammit I can't breath! Too much lulz everywhere!"
Seriously, awesome short story, have 5 fluttershys.
Dafuq did i just read?
I was very disappointed that, despite the title and Pinkie Pie, Equestria was not destoryed..
Other than that, good job, I was somewhat entertained.
506532
Umh...
Equestria was destroyed...
Along with the rest of the world...
And the universe. So, uh, huh?
EDIT: Ohhh I see XD Yeah, sorry about that, but apparently Word says "destoryed" is a word and I didn't catch that XD Im going to edit that, right now XD
506287
Whelp, it's certainly not the best story in the world, but really, I just wrote it to have fun with myself :D
I might rewrite it later on, but probably not.
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/4/27/59M9UBS6qUSjqp7u_we-7w2.jpg
All part of the last slice of cakes plan
You mean "FUS RO DAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" ?
Lol cool but i thought it was Fus Ro Da?