• Member Since 22nd Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 10th, 2013

RainbowDangerDash97


T

You've all heard of Cloudchaser. She's awesome. Cool. Radical. We really like her mane. And she just has the coolest cutie mark of all time. But what you haven't heard of - is that she has a secret crush on Fluttershy and a major soft spot for Rainbow Dash.

Rated T for romance, and slight more adult-ish themes regarding love.

Oh, and Cloudchaser isn't an OC by the way. She's a background character in Hurricane Fluttershy, for those you didn't know ^^

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 8 )

This is really good. I like where it's going so far. There needs to be more Flitter and Cloudchaser fics. There is a magor lack of them for some reason. I applaud you fo rthe clever name as well.

Sounds cute. I shall read this later.

My only complaint was that it was a little hard at times to follow. I would recommend breaking to a new paragraph when someone new speaks (or at least make it more obvious who is talking). There was also the occasional grammatical error. But the rest of the story was good enough that it didn't detract too much from my enjoyment. And there really does need to be more Cloudchaser and Flitter stories.

I really like it!! and I loved how Cloudchaser kept stumbling over her words, made me chuckle.

Would love to see where this could go.

Flitter grabbed her sister's hoof, and pulled her up, before gasping. "Oh, I'm sorry, Cloudchaser! I didn't know you sleep "naked" like Fluttershy!" I don't really understand this part. I thought everypony slept naked? :rainbowhuh:

Other than that, thumbs up from me. Continue.

504416

Lol that's only a pony joke XD I dunno how it spread around the Internet, but it did XD

I agree that the dialogue was bit hard to follow. Also, it seemed like you were pushing a lot of information in the second paragraph. That could be separated into smaller sections too.
I think this is going well so far.

Login or register to comment