It's the perfect bedtime story: the tale of a brave colt who wants to become a knight. A kingdom in peril. A loved one imprisoned. A quest to slay an evil dragon. A fight to save the world.
(Approved by Twilight's Library)
(New cover art by the fantastic Sean7700)
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Now that you mentioned it, me neither...
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Yes, or something of the kind.
Pretentious, isn't it?
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Move your mouse over it.
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Tap your finger on it.
Coughing up blood sounds like Tuberculosis to me.
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Oh, I did not know that. Thanks!
Well done. You managed to capture the feeling of a fairytale quest through the eyes of a child excellently. Which made discovering it was a metaphor... painful.
Of course, many fairytales didn't end much happier.
(goddamn it, FIMFiction spell checker. "Fairytale" is a word, but "fairytales" isn't? wtf?)
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FimFic spellchecker is indeed an unpredictable beast...
Thank you for your kind words. I always wondered why the English language did not retain the original version of the phrase "...and they all lived happily ever after" (while many other languages did), i.e "... and they all lived happily until they died" (or something along those lines). Perhaps in English it has a more immediate sense of "bleakness," and I guess that could best describe what kind of feel I was going for.
I can't comment on anything anymore. I'm on internet explorer right now, god help me if this doesn't work.
I loved the story.
Ah! It worked!! Okay, okay.
Story was awesome. Metallica is awesome, even though I'm not really into the genre. I really liked the way you worked in the whole Christian anti-medicine into the story. I thought the whole analogy was at a good level of subtlety, because I felt I got most of it, but some things still left me to wonder long after I had finished reading.
I also thought the transitions between articulated and childlike narration were a little sharp sometimes, but for the most part followed a smooth pattern.
Aaaaaand inb4 this comment doesn't post (or I guess not "in" at all)
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I guess this means you're in...
Thank you for your kind words. The sharp changes in the style of narration were indeed a tough decision for me. Certain parts just didn't feel right without "proper" writing, even if it meant I had to sacrifice the "childlike" feel. To avoid making it too jarring, however, I tried to time these sections so that they only appear once the metaphor had already begun to unravel. In other words, the kid is "growing up" in those parts as the grim reality of the situation starts to set in for him.
Or, at least, that's my excuse...
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Yeah I could definitely tell you were aware of it, and a lot of the time those transitions were done really well, just sometimes it was rough.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-7Ga_fEmZOAA/UPU6AQU-EvI/AAAAAAAABD0/e3eNdwau7fg/s1600/Steven-Wilson-Xmas-610x361.jpg
I approve.
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You know what most people want? Stupid shit. Me, I'm smart. I want a page on TvTropes. Because, I'm clearly Superior to everyone else in every way, which means that whatever I want is instantaneously the right thing. Same thing goes with whatever I say. Don't believe me? Here's a review.
~
This next part isn't really the review, I'm just having fun. You'll know when the real review starts.
Aww... that's sweet.~
I already hate this story.
You are so lucky I have a thing against killing children.
Ah, jamming the knife into my heart early I see. Saves me time I suppose.
I can already feel this ending horribly.
Oh, look's like I totally called it being cancer. Fuck.
You stupid bitch! Now you're dead, your children are scarred for life and I'm fucking depressed. Fuck you.
*sniffle*
Okay, so... This was sad and tragic and fuck you for making me read this. Prose was good and I particularly liked the hospital and the doctor being described through the child's eyes.
Rating: /5
Fave Line:
Final Verdict: I am not crying, jackass!
*sniffle*
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Someone should write a story about how every time one writes (or draws, composes, etc.) about something that's emotionally engaging for them, it dies within them the moment the work is finished.
When I first thought of doing this story, the premise almost made me cry. But now, that line is literally the only reaction that I can imagine people having to it, i.e "this is a pretentious piece of trash trying desperately to tug at my heartstrings." It's as though any emotional attachment I had were yanked right out of my soul, and your (real) reaction almost feels awkward.
If someone were to turn that phenomenon into a good story, it would make me cry like a lil' bitch...
Anyway, thanks for the review!
5326482 Pretentious or not, this was well written.
I told you not to give me a Sagedy fic.
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I must confess, I totally forgot to read that part in your thread...
This is a bit awkward...
5326770 Is 'k.
So... since it is awkward part of the evening....
You want to
sex me upreview one of my fics? I'm sorry it's just.... comment whore....fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/022/0/6/sheepish_fluttershy_by_flutterwry95-d4nah8q.png
Living dangerously, I see. Have a ribbon:
i.imgur.com/j8cG26r.png
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rotflpictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/born-to-be-wild-funny-picture-28598.jpg
Thanks!
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Enjoy your ribbon
Nicely done! :)
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Thanks!
I wrote a review of this story! It can be found here.
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Thank you for the review!