exsnaggerwes
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Huh, so are you going for a TwilightXSpikeXFluttershy ship? If you are I approve.
"Im a brony, and I approve of this shipping" -Brony
5242097 May I ask which shipping that is?
5241951 Uhm... well crap, this is embarrassing.
*spoiler*
No, I'm not shipping all three of them lol
5242264 Spike x Twilight
Well written. *claps*
5242571 Thank you, kind stranger. This is the quickest I've been getting dislikes and I'm actually surprised at that. I've been working on this one for weeks from idea to paper. I haven't even posted the clop scenes yet and already it's getting hate
The weird part is that this is written mostly for plot and development, not sex. (although I put clop in the description as a warning).
Well written so far. The lack of significant errors(at least from my understanding) shows the effort in writing this and I hope you continue. Haters gonna hate.
Nicely done. I think the reason this is getting so much hate is cause Spike is competent. Not overly amazing, or superbly dumb, but rationally competent. His instinct and emptions drove most of his actions and they were logical and reasoned. A very natural progression of events but one startling contradiction that stands out is that only moments before the end, minutes?, Spike had been deliberating the consequences his actions may have with Rarity and boom he goes and takes the same action with Twilight.
5242608 actually, the lack of significant errors is thanks to spellcheck, but I try my best to even beat that most of the time too. Thank you for noticing.
By any chance, are there any memorable errors or bad lines?
Also, I can honestly say that I forgot the scene with Fluttershy is based on a certain unmentionable fetish.
I should probably tag it, but I doubt anyone will even notice
5242613 keep in mind that he didn't yet. He will, and it won't be a surprise, but neither should this: (spoiler just in case) in the end, sex doesn't have to mean a relationship. He was unknowingly being seduced by Fluttershy and in his adolescent mind, was driven to satisfy his desires. It could be considered as her taking advantage of him if she were more in control of her actions. Spike *should* realize that sex with Twilight is a mistake, and his hesitation was hinted at already
Either way, I should expect dislikes. It's my first "clop" fic and it doesn't even have a real clop scene yet.
5242634 no that's just people being mean. If they hate it they should say why. I like the development.
5242613 There are also repercussions with Fluttershy and Twilight if he takes a different path. This could actually end several different ways, and the characters tagged are only the ones that show up so far. I may not add others, but there's a reasonable chance they could get involved, even if they're not banging.
5242641 Thank you for that
I actually hinted here
5242620 that it was probably because of Shy's petting fetish, but that's a part I REFUSE to compromise.
5242582 No problem, don't let the comments and opinions influence your story. Continue despite them.
In a totally female village Ol Spike & Big Mac have it coming.
its sad Twilight will out live spike hope u will make it so he will live as long as her
5247032 Sweet Celestia, you're the first to comment on that side of the story.
1: I can't say much about any of that, or I'll spoil it, but know that the subject will likely be revisited in some form or another.
2: Spike was a pet of sorts to begin with, and hasn't ever been without Twilight. This is where the relationship is tested and the whole purpose of this story. Is he more like a child, sibling, pet, or lifelong friend? For some of those relationships it would be cruel for him to outlive Twilight. He would be lost without her. For others it would be the other way around.
5248060 i just dont see twlight holding on with out him and i think it is ok to ship them any thing is better then her and flash guys got no personality and it will be to sad if she out lives him and she seem the type to go crazy with her brakedowns and all
5248098 I would call this a spoiler, but from the hints I've been dropping, Spike would have no desire to form a romantic relationship with Twilight in this story. Maybe later on in their lives it can evolve into something like that, but in Rarity's life, Spike will likely devote all of himself to her.
The confusion makes it clear when I should put in a part with Rarity, so I thank you all for your input on the shipping matter, but I'm just going to clear one thing up first.
"I want you." in this context means that Twilight feels she has no other choice, so she's drawn to Spike.
Fluttershy felt the same way. The romance hasn't happened yet. Spike's still somewhat of an awkward teenager without a real grip on real romance.
spike gonna get himself so tail tonight
5249160 I sure hope so. He's been pent up all day.
5249163 most people are going to think that this twilight and spike fic or fluttershy and spike fic be cus you only put them on the tags thats what i thought you might want to add more tags to clear the confusion
5250598 Well I do really mean that. I mean it would be cruel for me to make Spike screw up his chances with two mares who he could obviously have ;)
Lol. Sorry for misleading you guys, I'll get to work on the rest of this soon. I didn't mean that there wouldn't be shipping, just that the shipping won't be as important as the changes Spike is going through.
5250616 dont worry about it it is still is a good story as long as it is not a sad end i am good but i am just not in to spike and rarity update soon pl
This is really interesting.
Well, my friend, once again you have proven that you have excellent writing chops. I am quite impressed with the quality of your writing, not to mention the content. I think you've dive an excellent job of keeping everyone in character while still expressing Fluttershy's and Twilight's need during the heat. This is already pretty hot, and you haven't even gotten to the meat of it yet. I also really like the actual story you've got going on.
Keep up the excellent work!
5251445 Thank you! I just hope I can deliver on the meat of it lol.
5252016
I see what you did they're...
More dialogue and a little less inner monologue. Liking this already!
I'm hoping for, Spike, to have Fluttershy and Twilght by the middle and/or end of this story.
Dragons don't mate for life, and ponies form herds so...., it all works out in the end.
If they feel the same way they do about, Spike, when their heat is over.
5259761 Thank you for the advice! I'm working on the next chapter. It should be done sometime within the next couple days or so.
And sorry about the inner monologue, this is actually more of a companion to something else I'm working on, but since it could stand alone and I could be as explicit as I wanted, it deserved to be posted on its own. The inner monologue would make more sense in the next story, but it's also just a little background to the situation. I'm trying t hammer the point that Spike grew up with Twilight and considers her family, while still acknowledging that he has other blood relatives. Twilight and Spike are supposed t be hesitant to having feelings for each other at best, and repulsed at worst.
5260244 Ok. So your going to make us what for the, Spilight sex, because of the, "we're like family", but "not really" and use her heat and other feelings as a final push for what I, you, and other think these two should be? Friends and/or Lovers?!
I like it.
I enjoy a straight clop fic, but also like the ones with some feels and personal conflict. And next chapter looks like that personal conflict is going to hit hard!
Also, did Spike really just touched Twilight face with his jerking hand?! Lol!
5260438 Oh my god, did he? When? Show me where I said that
5260518
5260523 I maybe asking much, but please try to put some of Spike's humor in the next chapter. Because that moment was GOLD!
If not for comedy then for further arousal for Twilight.
2 down 4 to go.
5271110 Oh, what a magical story this would be if I didn't suck at writing clop. I'm working on the next chapter right now. It's going better than this one did.
5271200
Don't feel dirty. That was pretty good. Bravo on your first clop scene!
5271528 awkward clop was planned to be awkward, at least. I'm not sure how well I did with the next scene, but it'll be up in just a few seconds.
I didn't plan on this chapter, so it extends the story from three parts to four or five, but it needed its own place.
I forgot about dragons having more than one 'tool'.
5271825 forked tongue, claws, opposable thumbs, and in some canon a two headed you-know-what. I don't even know why I avoid using bad words anymore lol My only regret is not making full use of all of them yet
Great clop scene! Now we need Moar!!
5272595 Thanks! I'll try to deliver.
Hot and heavy. That's the kind of sex, Spike and Twilight should be good for!
Hahahahahahaha ooooooooooo what a stroy if you don't mind some of us want to continue to read this book :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(.
This is some good clip here. I have read many stories and gotta say you rank up in the big leagues.
5302589 Thank you, kind stranger. I fully intend to finish all of my stories and post more quality stories soon, if you're interested. I don't recommend Sappy HiE. I haven't been posting updates recently because of said stories, paired with some social things happening this weekend.
Enjoying it so far.
Part of me is hoping that there may be the moment when somepony--preferably Fluttershy, but Rarity would be nice--shows up at the castle and witnesses the culmination of Twilight and Spike's concurrent UST and the results after that is finally resolved. In particular, I would be looking for the reaction...
EDIT: when I am referring to 'witness the culmination', I am simply saying that the pony that see Spike and Twilight like what is showing in the chapter can correctly and truthfully imply that he/she knew that something like that would eventually happen, and that even if the pony doesn't see the graphic events in pony, said pony know enough about how ponies (and apparently dragons, thanks to Spike) react after such a event and obvious clues/evidence like straggled manes, a certain fragrance, how the two ponies act, even seeing excessive stains from the genital areas to know that intercourse has happened.