Spike has kept quiet long enough. He's tried and failed many times to tell Rarity how he feels, and this is his last chance.
First person Spike POV.
Cover image is by xxwingsxonxvenxx on deviantart.
Chapters (1)
exsnaggerwes
Joined 14th Nov, 2013 ·
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"Spikey what is your choice?"
"Answer my question please"
I wasn't running away, I was running to"
"running to?"
"To you"
"Oh look at my tail, It's stiff and straight as a pole"
"YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE ME!"
"FOREVER"
"IT'S 20% HARDER"
"HOW YA LIKE THEM APPLES"
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG"
"MY BAD"
"Too much information"
"TWILIGHT DEAR ,HE'S MINE"
I feel like I'm missing something
5451969 what is it? I'm not so confident with the idea of this story anymore, and since I think it needs work, any advice could improve it.
5453016 Well, it just seems like the end of a story without the beginning. Why was Spike staying at the farm? What did he do that was so bad? Lots of answers without the questions to provide context
5456393 Thanks for asking those questions. I suspected the story would be weak there, so I'm going to revise it soon and work on the background a bit to give it more context. I was trying too hard to make it cryptic.
Basically, what happened was Twilight having to move back to Canterlot with Spike, but they visited Ponyville every so often, with Spike staying at the Apples' during the visit. The bad thing he did was running away and making them worry about him.
When I go back and fix it, I'll be sure to make better use of exposition. This was one of my first present tense stories, and it's a real weakness of mine.
I dearly wish that I'd gotten a chance to read this when you first posted it. This is actually quite well done, especially for your first attempt.
It was cryptic at first, which I took as intentional. It's crypticness built up my sense of curiosity, which had me looking for clues as to what happened. I felt that it was well done.