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  • E In Which Our Favorite Six Pastel Ponies Ask the Big Question.

    Who Am I?
    2,784 words · 818 views  ·  49  ·  0
  • T Mask of Evil

    I'm scared my love, I'm forgotting where the act ends and I begin.
    2,091 words · 594 views  ·  13  ·  0 · gore
  • T Beforeskin

    Celestia remembers her father with a shudder as she thinks back to the one being she truly hates
    3,386 words · 1,136 views  ·  13  ·  3 · gore
  • E First Goodbye

    An interview with the Princess's on what really happened 1000 years ago.
    8,707 words · 1,252 views  ·  8  ·  1
  • T Barraki! Creeps from the deep.

    the great kingdom of sea ponies reaches our for help in facing a threat unlike any they've ever see
    5,156 words · 1,051 views  ·  7  ·  1 · gore
  • T Dimensional Chronicles

    It has been five years since princess Luna was purified and things are about to get ugly.
    96,757 words · 1,808 views  ·  17  ·  8 · gore
  • T Il Carnevale de Artiglio

    What has one claw and owns a circus? Discord's biggest fan.
    8,170 words · 337 views  ·  4  ·  1 · gore

Blog Posts9

  • 91w, 5d
    A little something I find funny.

    In a lot of fics, people make out ponies to be a near idealistic, violence hating society because they're herbivores.  But when you look at their world, that doesn't work.  Anything that wouldn't fight tooth and nail, or in this case, tooth and hoof, would be hunted out in a week.  Just look at some of the predators they have to deal with.

      Timberwolves, wolves with wooden armor, any wounds sustained from these creatures would be riddled with splinters and larger shards of wood, meaning if the wolf doesn't kill its prey immediately, all they have to do is wait for the wound to turn septic and then they eat.

      The Manticore, a blend of a lion, a scorpion and a bat.  Not only does it have a rather nasty set of talons, it can fly and scorpions are naturally venomous.  Even if the toxin isn't that strong, the size of the barb guarantees that a lot of it's getting pumped into the victim.

      The Cockatrice, now this one just doesn't play fair.  One look in its eyes and you're stone on the outside, sweet, juicy meat on the inside.  What else is there really to say except.  You cheater.

      At the top on the non-sentient predator food chain is the Ursa.  A massive star bear that dwarfs a small town, you have to worry less about being eaten by this one, and more about it stepping on you.

      And then it's obvious that all the standard earth predators also exist, Fluttershy takes care of a lot of them.  This place makes Australia look like a petting zoo.

      Then there's the sentient predators, oh boy.:twilightoops:

      Diamond dogs, while stupid, are excellent ambush predators, able to tunnel and burrow at breakneck speeds.  Throw in an acute lust for all things shiny and you had better hope you're not wearing jewelery.  Being sentient means they can be reasoned with, but being stupid makes this difficult as they probably wont grasp that you're trying to save your neck on top of giving them your necklace.

      Griffons, talons and beaks and teeth, oh my.  These guys are a panorama of all things deadly, a sharp beak and high jaw strength means that if they get that thing on you, you can say goodbye to wherever it bit you.  Add in the teeth and now they can just rip it off, tearing open a larger wound than they would have been able to if they just had the beak, and teeth mean jagged wounds, which means more blood loss, which means faster death.  Then they also have talons, a prehensile tail and can fly.  Griffons are overkill at it's base level.

      And at the top of the sentient food chain are the Dragons.  Basically the same as the griffons, except this time around they can rival an Ursa in size, have scales as hard as rock, breath fire and are completely resistant to heat.  If one of these decides you're lunch, you're f--king lunch.

      There's no way that a society that hates violence/refuses to kill would be able to survive here, they'd be hunted to extinction in a year at best.  And this isn't even factoring in the emotional predators found in the Windegos or Changelings or the mad god Discord.  Even with the weak magic a unicorn would have if it wasn't intelligent, they would be massively, hilariously, outgunned.  And what do you do when you're that badly outmatched?  You start playing together and playing smart.  And thus, the race of ponies was born.  Out of the ashes of prey, where only the most cunning and powerful survived by banding together.  It's no wonder they place such high value on friendship, evolution and their ecosystem have hammered that if you want to survive you need to band together into their heads with a jackhammer.

    0 comments · 81 views
  • 99w, 5d
    My favorite non-sentimental statement.

    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

    0 comments · 103 views
  • 126w, 2d
    To everyone who favorited and commented on "How A Canterlot Wedding Should Have Ended"

    I find myself at an impasse, I am not proud of that story's writing or my weak attempts at comedy but I am very proud of how well it has done.  I still get notifications saying that someone has favorited it, and while appreciated, this is also kind of crushing.  I cannot decide whether I love or hate you all.  I have five other stories, all of which I put a lot of time and effort into, the story in question was written in the course of an hour and created simply because I was bored.  If the fact that single chapter stories take less investment is the reason that this one is vastly more popular than my other stories than "First Goodbye.  (Writer's cut.)" would gladly take the traffic that this story has pilfered.  If the fact that this is a comedic story is the reason that it is my most favorited, than I suggest that you move right along, I don't really do funny.  But what ticks me off the most about this story is that it, in a matter of days, almost got more comments than "Dimensional Chronicles" the story I have been working on since before I had an account here and is only beating HACWSHE by three comments!  It has taken DC since September to accumulate those things, while this one managed it in under a month.  So please, please!  Read my other stuff, if nothing else, read First Goodbye.  And comment, for Celestia's sake comment.  I beg you.

    0 comments · 105 views
  • 126w, 3d
    Fine, forget that little piece of work.

      I deleted the tumblr.

    0 comments · 67 views
  • 132w, 3d
    I got a Tumblr!

      I've decided to postpone my pony fanfics in favor of an interactive story.  I think I'll do pretty well, it's much easier to come up with ideas when the audience is involved.

      The story is rather simple, it's what happens to Gavla after everyone left Teridax's body.

      Find it here.

      Feedback and questions are appreciated so please, please, feel free to ask.  And be sure to comment on this blog post.

    0 comments · 77 views
  • ...
 55
 3,631

"Are- Are you blasting me with food?"

"Yeah... this was not thought through at all."

[If you must read this, fine, but when you do, let that be the end of it.  Abandon it, go read my other works, comment there, but I don't want to hear a word about this one.  Please, I'm begging you, I've had enough.]

First Published
27th Apr 2012
Last Modified
27th Apr 2012
#1 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

Trixie would've made more sense, I think.

#2 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

That last line makes me wonder if you've planned something to follow this up. And I agree, this would have been a funny way to end it, although I don't really mind how the actual ending was. Humans need water to survive, but an intense enough blast of water can rend flesh from bone and do serious damage. When your food is a form of energy, it might be possible for something similar to occur.

#3 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

This was a pretty entertaining alt-take on the ending =D

And I lost it at "Twilight, you are the dumbest smart pony I have ever met!"

#4 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

I think it's because the love was being directed at her in a controllable stream rather then at someone else in a wild amount.

Regardless, that is an interesting idea.

#5 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

It seems Blueblood did something for once. But give the guy a break. Blueblood is the kind of character you "love to hate".:trollestia:

#6 · 130w, 1d ago · · ·

The only thing I had against the cannon ending is Shining armors protection spell was not given enough credit.:derpyderp1:

Your ending is a funny  by the way  

#7 · 130w, 22h ago · · ·

I have to rectify my own statement: Trixie might not have been a better choice. She was well beloved in Ponyville after she publicly humiliated several of its prominent citizen; and the two colts she treated like dirt worshipped the ground the trotted on.

So, if it was quality of character that mattered in repelling the changelings, she'd have been perfect. I do believe she's way worse than the prince. If it was hatred from others, then yours was the best choice, at least from an outsider perspective. (Rarity didn't seem to mind him much in Sweet&Elite, and the press has either not picked up on his faults or they're actually not that big of an issue)

#8 · 130w, 21h ago · · ·

True Chrysalis and her minions could have just eaten the spell (it would have tasted like chicken and we would have a part 3 of the episode)

#9 · 130w, 21h ago · · ·

Genius. Also, I do not hate Blueblood, I love him. And bravely  support Blueblood\Applejack shipping.

#10 · 130w, 20h ago · · ·

This "story" is amazing. :rainbowlaugh: And I thought the Tactical Rainbow Nuke is dangerous... :rainbowhuh:

#11 · 130w, 19h ago · · ·

I'm dissapointed that there was no Superman and Batman here. :rainbowwild:

#12 · 130w, 11h ago · · ·

  That underlined bit was in response to Wander D, who rejected my story because I only managed to meet length requirements by adding a two hundered word author's note at the end in which I chewed out the length requirement rule.  Needless to say, the mods were not amused.:pinkiecrazy:  But I was!

#13 · 130w, 11h ago · · ·

The fact that this has more thumbs than any of the rest of my work is saddening, I put no effort into this whatsoever.  All my other stuff I put effort into, please go check them out and comment, please comment.

#14 · 130w, 7h ago · · ·

>>507165  I chose Blueblood because he's the one that would probably have been there.  Where as Trixie would probably have been out in the city somewhere.

#15 · 130w, 7h ago · · ·

as pointed out by others, there's a difference between eating a sandwich and having it shot at your head at hypersonic speeds. Or one might note that a television set runs off electricity--- but let a lightning bolt strike a power line and see what happens to it.

Or one might point out that it wasn't Cadence and Shining Armor's love that drove off Chrysalis--- it was Shining Armor's force-bubble spell, that was being BOOSTED by the power of their love.... just as Chrysalis' powers were boosted by it, earlier.

#16 · 130w, 7h ago · · ·

also, why does everybody dump on Blueblood? Yeah,he's a vapid and self-absorbed nancy, but that hardly makes him the most evil creature in Canterlot. Consider all the raging ass-hats cozying up to Fancy Pants....

#17 · 130w, 7h ago · · ·

>>510390  Sheesh, it's a joke.  I just thought it was weird that she was beaten by the power of love, and Blueblood is just way to much fun to pick on.

#18 · 130w, 5h ago · · ·

Urge to be pedantic... rising.

RealityCheck handled the pedantry quite nicely though, so instead I'll point out the plot whole you didn't address:

She feeds on and grows powerful from love, yet she chooses to mock someone else who decides to gain power from love. Chysalis is uniquely placed to know exactly how powerful this love is (she used it to defeat Celestia!) yet she is so dismissive when someone else uses the same power...

Which is why I like your ending. If anyone deserves Blueblood, it's that stupid heartless changeling queen. :D

#19 · 130w, 5h ago · · ·

>>510985  I can sort of understand why she did that.  To a creature that is the only species in its ecological notch, the idea that its energy source could be used by something else would be a completely alien concept.  The thought process being, "If I'm the only thing that uses this power source, I must be the only one that can."  It makes sense from a biological standpoint.  A lot of things that are food for one species are poison for another.  Chocolate, for example, is harmless to humans, and actually rather delicious, while it is poisonous to dogs.  Especially seeing as the Changelings seem to be the only species that have evolved to feed on love, they would probably think they were the only ones that could use the energy it put off.  Hence her arrogance in that respect.

I just gave a lecture didn't I?:twistnerd:

#20 · 130w, 5h ago · · ·

>>511013

Yes, you did just give a lecture.

That's fine, though. Twilight is an awesome pony. Let no one tell you different.

#21 · 130w, 5h ago · · ·

>>511017  Hooray understanding!  And yes, Twilight is best pony.:twilightsmile:

#22 · 130w, 4h ago · · ·

>>511024

That's an unusual way to spell Fluttershy. :P

#23 · 130w, 4h ago · · ·

>>511036  Don't feed the parasprites!:pinkiehappy:

#24 · 129w, 6d ago · · ·

>>510174

Diamond Tiara works too. All of her 'love' is horribly tainted with snootiness on a level probably surpassing even Blueblood's. :rainbowlaugh:

First Chrysalis would feel sick :pinkiesick:, and then somepony would make Tiara angry, (probably a changeling chef taking the place of someone who typically knows what haughty fillies like her enjoy) and it would become a consuming vortex of hatred that knocks her as flat as BB's narcissism just did. :ajsleepy:

I imagine that's why Filthy Rich wasn't invited. Chrysalis-as-Cadence met them previously while getting party favours ready and buying decorations on the cheap since she didn't actually care about the wedding proper, and was horrendously afraid of the effect DT would have on her changelings. Smart move Chryssy, smart move.

#25 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

>>510174

Ah, good point.

#26 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

Man, if BB, Trix, and Diamond were there at the same time, Chrysalis and her swarm would've probably shriveled up and died right there and then.  :fluttershyouch:

#27 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

This is a thing of beauty! :raritystarry:

#28 · 129w, 2d ago · · ·

Why doesn't my good stuff get this much traffic?:ajbemused:

#29 · 128w, 5d ago · · ·

>>506769

Nah, Trixie has fans.  Blueblood doesn't.

#30 · 128w, 5d ago · · ·

>>556545

Well, I'd agree that she has more fans. Way more. I still don't understand why, but it's true.

#31 · 128w, 5d ago · · ·

It's probably attempting to actually save the two morons from their own stupidity instead of running away.  She's still not a nice person, but it was more than Blueblood ever showed.

#32 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

It seems we have finally found a use for Prince Blueblood

#33 · 102w, 4d ago · · ·

>>533361 Cause it's the stupid stuff that makes us laugh that we tend to flock to. This story is perfect for someone like myself, who's looking to burn some time in the wee morning hours until I ACTUALLY feel tired, who just wants something light and quick.... cause hell knows if I get into something intense with chapters I WON'T be sleeping under the guise of "just one more chapter....".

That said, please dun take "stupid" as an insult as that was glorious. While I understand why the episode ended the way this gave me a good 10 minute long goofy grin that shows no sign of fading.

.... why did I make such a long comment? :facehoof: Oh well, I'll have to check some of your other work out when it's not 4 am.... no 5... buck when will I actually begin to feel tired? ....I'll stop rambling now.

#34 · 102w, 3d ago · · ·

>>556765 If you are referring to the Ursa Minor incident, the only reason Trixie tried to fight that Ursa Minor that Snips and Snails brought to town was because she knew if she didn't, then her lie would be exposed. So she tried to fight it in a desperate attempt to try and maintain her lie, not because she cared about the two stupid colts or Ponyville at all. And once she saw that she really had no chance of beating it, only then did she confess that she lied. But right after the danger was over, she started lying all over again and then fled like a coward.

Oh, and I totally ship BluebloodxTrixie.

#35 · 102w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1572682

Standing up to a giant monster just so you can make your lies true is still brave.  Bravery is considered a virtue.  Thus, still more virtue than Blueblood.

You're probably kidding about Trixie/Blueblood because the truth is both of them are way too self-centered for most relationships and doubly so if you combine them.

#36 · 102w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1576520 Even if you're being brave for the wrong reasons, like selfishness and greed? Does that mean that a burglar who bravely sneaks into someone's house to steal all their belongings is virtuous? Uh... no.

Also, I was not kidding. I totally ship BluebloodxTrixie, and I think it could definitely work. Why? Because its a cartoon, and because it's fun to ship jerk characters.

#37 · 102w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1578702  Depends on why they're stealing.

  On another note, really?  This story has been quiet for months, but as soon as I update my other stories it wakes back up while the stuff I update stays quiet.  Really?  Really?

#38 · 102w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1578702

"Bravely sneaks" probably aren't words that go together.  But let's assume we have a brave burglar.  Is he very virtuous?  No.  Is he more virtuous than a cowardly burglar, all else being equal?  Sure.  Just because you're brave doesn't mean you're nice, any more than being nice means you're brave.  Generally, you'd want a person to show more than one virtue, Still, 1>0.

>>1578883

Sorry if the off-topic conversation is a bother, it's hard for me to stop myself from replying to people.

#39 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

Wander D? Whatdoeshe have to do with this? :rainbowhuh:

#40 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2103651  If you read the comments, it will make sense.

#41 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2103877 Lol. I tried that once.

#42 · 79w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Blueblood is awesome :pinkiesick:

#43 · 74w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

Ah, yes, here we go with the love wave thing. They consume love, so how could the love wave affect them? Well, we do the same thing with air and water. Does that mean we're immune to hurricanes?

Logic aside, this was quite amusing.

#44 · 74w, 1d ago · · ·

>>2620691

I was going to say try drinking from a firehose

#45 · 74w, 1d ago · · ·

>>2621036 That's a good example, too.

#46 · 59w, 12h ago · · ·

HmmhmmhmmhahaBWAHAHAHAHAHA!

#47 · 32w, 15h ago · · ·

this was hilarious finally someone makes use of bluebloods pompos attitude and his general unlikableness

#48 · 31w, 5d ago · · ·

...You know...this actually makes a LOT more sense than it should.

Changelings FEED on Love, the power of Love should not be the means by which they are defeated, which is why I prefer to believe that Cadance's Alicorn magic simply Ubercharged Shining Armour's Shield Spell rather than something corny like 'Love Triumphs over all'.

And don't give me that 'It's a Show for Little Girls' crap, that's no excuse in today's environment.

#49 · 31w, 5d ago · · ·

Truth be told the flaw I can see in this is that it makes BLUEBLOOD useful. Admittedly in a hilarious fashion, but still BLUEBLOOD and USEFUL should not even be considered in part of the same sentence...unless 'Is Not' comes between them, then it's a law of the universe.

#50 · 31w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2441587 which is why he only appeared in one episode tops.:trollestia:

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