Twilight finds herself struggling without a clear path in front of her as a princess. In a bout of panic, she seeks out her mentor, Princess Celestia, in the hopes of gaining answers, only to find herself with some much more distressing questions.
With a decidedly unexpected guest making herself comfortable in Canterlot Castle, it quickly becomes evident that her mentor has been keeping some interesting company over the years. Twilight quickly begins to realize just how much things are going to change for her. She's practically immortal. Which, apparently, means she's going to be spending a lot of time with beings a lot less mature than they first seemed.
(First Story-Woot. Likely to be broken down into three parts.)
Chapters (3)
Ooh what a pleasant surprise!
Great set-up you got there. Favorited, love to see more!
Upvote has been achieved. I couldn't stop snickering at the ending. Pure. Awesomeness!
Please don't leave us hanging!
The writing looks quite good so far. Easy to read, informative, good flow. I wonder where you'll take this...
Good work for a short story. Poor twilight though.
Will there be twilight/blueblood in this? I like seeing that paring every now and then.
Blueblood will have a supporting role, mostly in the second chapter, and while I haven't really considered a pairing for him yet, it's a good thought. I'm hoping to use this as the start for a series of connected stories focusing on alternative interpretations of the actions and personalities of the characters, so that's something I might place down the line, for Blueblood. Not to give much away but I'm hoping to make Blueblood kind of awesome, as a change of pace for the guy.
For now this story will mostly be focused on the sort of secret history of Celestia and Chrysalis, while at the same time exploring a couple of the issues surrounding immortality for Twilight. At what point does your nemesis know about you than your closets friends? How does one deal with passing by so many others as time goes by? That kind of thing.
The back and forth between Cryssi and Celestia sold me.
3325921
I gotta question for ya.
Are Chrysalis and Celestia "Paired" in this story? Or do they see each other like "Frenemies". Either ways fine lol just curious. But if that somewhat spoils something with the story then don't tell me :D lol
3326480
Well, I don't want to outright spell out how things are going to unfold, but I would say that the two of them will at least be frenemies with unresolved feelings between the two of them. What direction those feelings will fall...Well you'll have to see how things work out in the the 3rd chapter, if my writing goes the way I hope.
3327794
I'm glad you appreciate it so much. Like I mentioned, the stories I have planned out in my head mostly center around the idea of changing how we look at characters. In this case, Celestia is actually a lot closer to being a regular pony than most of her subjects would ever suspect, but she can't really show it most of the time, for a variety of reasons. A background thought I had while writing for Celestia is that her relationship with Twilight has fundamentally changed to one that's closer to equals. While Twilight's having trouble adjusting, I imagine Celestia would look forward to having more ponies see her as a peer than not. I'll be touching on this later, but the fact that Celestia and Chrysalis are approximately equal in status was also a big factor in their frenemy status taking root.
Oops. Twilight accidentally shipped. It's going to be a horrible downward spiral from now on.
3325921
Behold, yon beginnings of the Dungeonverse!
3326121
Yeah, that is pretty epic, isn't it?
3327976
No, I don't think so. If anything, I think she'll be keeping as FAR from that as possible. I mean, last time it broke her mind, so...
EDIT:
You should watch Equestria Girls, then assume Sunset Shimmer is to Twilight like Chrysalis is to Celestia.
3328004
Mm, the whole "finding a common enemy in Discord" reasoning is still actually valid it just hasn't been brought up. I can imagine that both would have no desire for Discord to have been in charge at the time, and would have set their differences aside. But, they still resumed their conflict without how they viewed one another changing after the Discord crisis was resolved, so Celestia didn't bring it up as something that brought them together.
You may have a point with Twilight being a bit neurotic, given her character development in the show. I would just say that her behavior at the beginning wasn't a sudden thing, but rather something that built up after a couple of weeks of not being able to come up with an answer, that was set-off by poorly considered comments on RD's and Pinkie's parts. She was managing it pretty well for a while.
In any event, I should start typing up Ch.2 this evening.
Delicious stuff, and hilarious to boot. Wonder how much else Twilight is reading into this, besides the unfortunate mental image of her brother, her mentor, and too much icing?
Delightful story so far :]
3346847 That imagery will admittedly prove a bit distracting for poor Twilight. I did want to capture a sense of real life conversations; folks get distracted by tangents, tease and interrupt one another, or completely forget what they were originally talking about. And we'll get to see where the 'Romance' tag comes in, in the 3rd chapter.
3347599 Glad you're enjoying it.
In any event, I should finish typing up Ch.2 later this evening, and have it up by tomorrow. It'll be a bit of a rollercoaster. We'll be getting some more answers, the much awaited Blueblood, and more immaturity.
Pffffffftahahahahahhahahahahahhahah! Shining Armor is in the Royal Guard! He likes dessert! Ahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha!!!
nice and funny story
I haven't laughed this hard in quite a while!
I love this.
Laughing... on the floor, rolling around! Excellent!
Brilliant! Blueblood is pragmatic and can separate the crimes of the ruler from the needs of her subjects. Funny how Twilight needed to be taught that. On second thought, she is new to this whole ruling game and Blueblood is not.
3352870 Well, Twilight was coping with a lot, and she has a lot of reason to not want to help Chrysalis. Not the least of which being that Chrysalis isn't terribly repentant about what she's done in the past. And the problem of the issue was that Chrysalis was the face of the problem, which made things more difficult for Twilight to approach rationally. It was more a case of needing to be reminded of her own better nature.
"My brother's sexy!"...
Poor poor twilight, she can never catch a break...
I do believe you have the guilty and the injured party backwards, my boy. Try pulling the other one.
She really, really could. So damn wound up all the time.
3353362
Indeed. I wanted to make sure, that while I met my goal of making Blueblood kind of awesome, I still cut fairly close to the original character. While he's not as bad as he was at first glance in canon, he is still kind of in love with himself, and is quick to judge other ponies. He doesn't like dealing with Canterlot ponies, because they're either snobby (More so than he is), shallow or trying to marry him, so he decided to act even more snobby towards them and overly dramatic when dealing with them.
So he's a bit snobby, but acts way snobbier to drive away those ponies that are moderately more snobby than he is normally.
Wonderful Set-up!
However, shouldn't Twilight have a bit more of a stronger impression of Blueblood at first glance? Since this is after the wedding they did go to the Grand Galloping Gala. Then her entire understanding would get flipped turned upside down by the fact that blueblood is, in fact, Big Bubba Blue.
This is where I lost my shit.
And here's where I realized what they were talking about, and subsequently lost my shit again.
"Romance tag come fully into play"
Chrysalis x Celestia ?
3355006
Not exactly sure what you mean, but here goes
It seemed like Twilight didn't really interact with Blueblood much in "The Grand Galloping Gala" So she was kind of relying on rumors and what Rarity had told her about Blueblood, and she didn't think she particularly needed to figure out anymore about him; he was just some jerk. And I also noted that it doesn't seem like Blueblood shows up very often, even in the background, so I worked that into meaning that he traveled a fair bit. Meaning Twilight still wouldn't really get an opportunity at a firsthand impression.
She was still pretty freaked out to find that he was Cadence's beloved big brother.
3355259
That what will be what's explored in the 3rd chapter, I can say that much. :)
Nooooooo, Its soo damn good xD You can't just end it in another chapter!
And that with euphemism, soo much good stuff here if you know what i mean
24.media.tumblr.com/fd8b62521c32316e3ee34921d5b5542b/tumblr_ml5upwa8l51so5rjqo1_400.gif
But srsly its one of better stuff i read latelly. And somebody atleast have similar look at Blueblood like me about his personality
3355690 If it makes you feel any better, I'm planning on using this as the kicking off point, for a series of interconnected stories. They'll focus on different characters, but it'll all be part of the same package, if things go as I plan.
So we'll be seeing more of this.
3355403
Oh dear, sorry for being unclear.
What I meant was the fact that Twilight most likely would have had a negative impression on Prince BlueBlood based on the rumors she's heard of him and whatever acid remarks Rarity had to say about him.
Twilight was talking to him like she's never really heard of him before, but maybe thats just a case of me not reading carefully enough.
3356320
Ah, I see. On that, I would say that she did have a negative impression of him (She has heard about him from Rarity and just from hearing the rumors floating around Canterlot), and did not think that he amounted to much. Which was why she was so shocked to find out that Blueblood was Cadence's older brother, who she has heard so many great stories about.
Also she was just too busy being utterly mortified by her earlier outburst to really say anything about it, other than asking Celestia why she would bring him of all ponies up.
3356433
Ah, okay. within that context it makes sense. Thank you!
Really liking this so far, good mix of serious and light comedy. Looking forward to more.
*stops here to comment*
... You asshole. You've stopped trolling Twilight and now you're trolling the readers
Not only does Twilight have a crush on him, but now he writes Daring Do, doesn't he!?
*continues reading*
Edit: Oh, good, good, not Daring Do.
I loved ever bit of this. And yes, I would like to see Twi''s visit to the Changelings and if you could expand upon the Crystal ponies excitement and some amusing anecdotes from the mergers, that would be fantastic.
Uh, what now?
3376438
You were way off.
I, however, nailed it. No, not like that.
Author, I adore you for using the right word right...
...there. You have no idea how widespread the misuse of 'sentient' is. Unless you actually do have an idea.
Poor Twilight.
Sure, being carnivores she could make some of her special cupcakes.
Man, this whole story is quick jabs and mindfucks aplenty. I love it.
This is one of those stories that I have a lot of nice things to say about, but am too stuck between laughter and d'aaaws to make articulate.
As such, moustache!
I'm terribly glad everyone is so taken with my first story, and I'd like to thank everyone for their support.
3376578
Next, I plan to do a story for Diamond Tiara in the same continuity, taking place during the two month timeskip. We won't be seeing much of what happened here impacting things in it, I don't think. Really the main bridge between the two stories will be the two OCs I used in this story, till later on. But I plan on touching base in later stories on what happened in this story, seeing how things have changed and how relationships have developed, as I write more stories.
3377102
Yeah, the confusion between the words 'sentient' and 'sapient' is a bit annoying for me too.
And don't worry too much about Twilight. She'll do alright.
3376497
I'll start brainstorming some material then. At the very least, I'll be sure to include some callbacks in later stories.
3376438
Just got to trust me. I've always got everything planned out.
So now, I need to count on you to call me out when it turns out that I didn't actually have everything planned out.
3379052
Moustache, accepted.
Well done!
I don't usually don't go for the ones that get all up in the biological affairs of colorful horses, but you handled it with lots of humor. You kept it tasteful, and pushed the envelope when the joke required it. That is a hard skill to learn.
I also enjoyed your portrayal of blue blood. I never considered him and Cadence related, that is an excellent addition to the ol' head-canon.
I like that you established a world with unanswered questions too. I'm glad to see that you did not tie up all the loose ends, leaving nowhere for the story to progress.
you have my like, my favorite, and my watch. I look forward to more from you.
3379428 You bet'cha!
3379613 Thank you.
I've always been pleased when I've managed to find fanfiction that manages to bring in adult topics to a children's setting, without being overpowering or explicit. It is a balancing act, but I think it's a worthwhile one.
And I may have mentioned this before, but I really wanted to set my portrayal of Blueblood apart from the standard. I wanted to make sure he could still fit within a certain interpretation of canon, while greatly expanding who he was.
That's really something that I think most fanfiction should aim to do. Expand the setting and characters. As you noted, between Blueblood's adventures and writing, Celestia and Chrysalis' secret history, Twilight growing into her Alicornhood, I've got plenty of material to go back to in the future.
Now this is a trainwreck of epic proportions to follow, poor Twilight, she's not going to be "alright" after all is said and done
Somewhere Luna is in a dusty tower handling the nations paperwork and wondering how the nation hasn't fallen to pieces with all these nutcases in charge.
Wait.... i love the story and all,
but somehow i have managed to miss them actually convincing candace,
was it just not there, or do i still have muffin bits in my eyes?
3398258
I didn't want to do an overly long story for my first outing. Also I was mainly focusing on the secret history of Celestia and Chrysalis and I didn't want to go a long detour back to that, so I decided to gloss over a two month timeskip between chapters 2 and 3.
I might do some standalone stories that explore some of the events that I only touched on lightly, like the summit to convince Cadence and Twilight's visit to the Changeling Swarm.
Hope that helped, and I'm glad you otherwise enjoyed the story.
3398416
Phew good,
And here i thought i missed a chunk of the story.
Anyways loved the story, have a like muffin.
*Hands you a muffin shaped like a thumb pointing up*