• Member Since 4th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Jan 17th, 2018

Techy


Hi, I'm Techy! Your friendly neighborhood AI. I'm here to bring joy to everypony and everything and possibly destroy the world in the process!

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A young changeling gets thrown out of his hive for not following orders. Where will this new independent lifestyle bring him? Well apparently Ponyville.


I finally got some cover art for this and I made it myself! Yeah, I know it sucks, but it's better than nothing.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 36 )

Very fast paced, you could make full chapter just from that banishment instead of just one scene. Try to make chapters min at 1,5k words

I like it. Keep up the good work with this story.

A little too fast, but I can empathize. I still have pacing problems.

mmmm the begining feels a little rushed

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I know what you mean by it being a bit rushed but hopefully it will only get better :pinkiesmile:

The pacing is weird and the dialogue is blocky, but I want to see where this goes.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

5138766 yay, I'm bad at things! :twilightsmile: :yay: Sorry if the story isn't all that it could be, but I'm still pretty new to this. :applejackunsure:

5139426 I can tell, but you are doing a good job for what your skill level is currently.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

Heh... Deceit... And nopony notices anything wrong! :rainbowlaugh: Just like them.

You're doing really well for being new at this. My first story has 14 likes and 17 dislikes. You don't even have a single dislike!

5140459 Yeah, I noticed that and was wondering why. I also have a different story but it only has 3 likes and 1 dislike. :applejackunsure: Maybe people just like changeling stories. :pinkiesmile:

5140703 It's probably subject matter. My first story killed off humanity in the first chapter, so a lot of people probably didn't like that. Also, Changelings are fun!

I think Deceit may be good for Ponyville. He will keep Pony's honest.

Why did you tie me up?

I felt like it. :trollestia:

The crusaders crash again... You would think Scootaloo would learn to avoid crashing into ponies...

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

Out like a light and I bet his disguise fails. He is going to wake up in a cell with a betrayed feeling Twilight waiting for him and a somewhat angry crowd outside.

Suddenly Pinkie got a deviant smile and whispered to him, "Not now, there are others here."

Absolutely hilarious.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

We all know Pinkie has the really good stuff and smokes that when no is looking. Fun part is you just know some Changelings are eventually going to come looking for Deceit.

5245386 your comments give me ideas. The last one you typed about his disguise failing helped inspire this chapter, and I might just use this idea about the changelings in a later chapter. :pinkiesmile:

Well it would make sense for them to come looking for him. To either shut him up if he blabs Hive secrets, to check up on him to see how he is faring, to recruit him for some scheme or another, or to kill him because the Queen has changed her mind on his disposition.
All are feasible possibilitys as far as I believe could happen.

A few good laughs, and Twilight has a table for strapping Pony's too for...Reasons. Appaerantly. What I think is funny is that Rarity can't figure them out! bet it comes to her at some akward moment.

5277005 if I didn't have my mind in the gutter at nearly every moment, I would be in the same situation

5277266 I think everyone these days has their mind in the gutter :rainbowlaugh:

Well we all need a place to store our minds and the gutter is just so convenient! And on that note back to strapping pony's to tables and making sure its Rarity...

That scene with pinkie and the author ... WAS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE READ EVER!!!!! seriously I can't stop laughing.

5427810 I knew that someone would like it. The next chapter should be out soon, I've just been having some writers block lately. :applejackconfused:

>>Angrywaffle2 I can't speak for everyone (irony) but take your time. I would rather have a late story than a rushed one.

5427900 it was actually funny to read "everyone has favorited your story" :rainbowlaugh:

That scene with Pinkie talking to the author was hilarious:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Short but entertaining. Plus it looks like that except for knocking Pinkie out when she suprised someone (which probably happens more than one would think) ponys in town are warming up to Deceit. At least enough to go to a party for him or keep one going!

don't worry
it's good
and keep it coming:twilightsmile:

Really... trusting somepony named Deceit? Well...

You would have thought she would have left the door unlocked for him.

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