Blaze Shine is a normal boy. The true is he is a pony from a Equestria. He has be trapped in the human world, longer than Sunset Shimmer. He meets a girl called Twilight Sparkle, and helps her get the crown back from Sunset Shimmer. But it wont be easy, with twist and turns around every corner. It the shadows a dark figure is looking Twilight's every more, what does it want with her. Can Blaze protect her from this dark figure and get her crown back.
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Advice just from the description:
Spellcheck/editing is your friend.
Try to avoid saying stuff like this, comparing original characters to canon just invites trouble, deserved or not.
1. That implies Blaze is directly better than Twilight, this is stepping on a landmine
2. It kinda downplays Twilight's competence.
Will comment again when I've read the first chapter.
Echoing Obsidian above, this could do with an editor, or a run through spellcheck. That said, I am interested in seeing where this goes, this kind of thing is rare on this site.
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Thanks for pointing out my mistakes. My English is not the best and sorry. I am trying not to make Blaze better than Twilight it came out wrong.
Hmm...nah.
This is a good start, especially "The Princess and Prince of the Fall Formal", but I think it would make more sense if it was "The Prince and Princess of the Fall Formal". Also, there was a ton of typos and missing quotations, you should really fix that, or hire a proofreader to help you.
I can't wait to see what happens next!
Uhh.... This is a bit sad..... It has potential, but it's not doing a very good impression.....
I do think this needs more polishing. However, for your first chapter, it's not bad, as it has a good idea.
So this story is really nothing more than the plot to Equestria Girls and your OC? Could you at least have tried to come up with something a little more original than "I show up and help the characters"? And let's face it, 99% of the stories of this type are pure wish fulfillment.
And while you get points for not being a native English speaker but wanting to write in English I really suggest either improving your English skills or finding yourself a proofreader. What you wrote here is nigh unreadable.