In this series of erotic one-shots, mares from across Equestria open up their diaries to a total stranger and reveal their deepest secrets - tales of love, passion, lust, and betrayal.
Page generated in 0.02 seconds
Total duration
716 users online
1,034,388 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
THE GREAT AND GLORIOUS ALL-POWERFUL MUSTARD
reallylikesthis
Ultra nice great chapter!!!!!!!
Excellent.
A couple of thoughts on this chapter that jumped out at me:
Gotta be honest, 'the hapless D&D nerd with a crush for the ages' that he was in the comics version of their high school days is a lot more endearing than Hot Perfect Popular Captain of the Team (tm). I guess I can't really expect everyone to have read the comics though. Or necessarily consider them canon.
Sounding like a form letter is the least of his worries: the title "Ms." is historically used to refer to a woman who's been divorced or widowed and that would probably be a bit insulting to Cadence. "Miss" is more technically accurate.
Nitpicks, but sometimes it's the little things that bug you.
Pretty cute so far, if a bit simple. I basically grew up on that "Skin-emax" stuff so I'm intrigued by your idea here. Will read more after work, and probably look forward to more beyond that.
(Sparity entry about the delicious taboo of it all plz? )
D'awww.
--
It's like a kid calling himself 'kid'. Not that I'm upset about calling out a line; it's almost impossible to find a line is any of your stories to pick out and comment on. You have the most airtight flow of anyone I've ever read. You were born to crank out Twilight's Library stories and win writing contests.
Nice! I wonder why I haven't seen anyone else use the word 'core' in that manner. It's like your calling card or something.
You rhymed fire and desire. That is so Top 20 Pop Charts! This line needs a guest rap verse from Wiz Khalifa and a Crystal Pepsi sponsor. In all seriousness, does this mean that the pony races have different sized penises? Who would come out the largest? My guess would be earth ponies, but you got me curious now. I've never seen anyone speculate on this before.
Truly, Friendship With Benefits... is Magic.
I got to be honest, your stuff hits a lot harder when you get time to build it up. Your slow burn game is great! I'm curious enough to keep reading though.
6830638 Thanks!
The first few chapters were definitely a bit rougher than later ones, but I like to think they improved as I got more comfortable with the format.
Not every pairing was a 110% homerun, imo, but I hope you find them enjoyable still. :)