• Member Since 7th Jan, 2014
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My Spirit Pony is Fluffle Puff and/or Pinkie Pie - Randomand Unending Love.... just dont take my Tacos..... Oooh, a floaty!!

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Cadence and Shining talk about having a child of their own. Shining didn't think it meant him.

This is the first story from me for Oneshotober... For all i know, it could be the last, but i just hope all of you enjoy this.

HUGE THANKS TO; Super Stallion and Alaester aka Allie Astra my two Co-Authors/Editors... without you guys, id still be stuck with writers block.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 48 )

You... you just faved your own story.:facehoof:

It's a pretty funny one-shot. The ambiguous ending is nice.

This was a great story. Loved the little joke at the end.... or was that a joke from Twilight? Now you got me thinking.

A nice little story. Not too small and not to big.

I give my like and fav for this.

Funny and cute! BTW, I'd luv to hav that flourish u use! Can I, plz?:applecry:

5034384 The Story Breaker? Feel free

5034821 Yay.... but honestly... if you want to add it to twilights library... go ahead, i am not going to though

does no one remember who he was?

story hasn't been added to the group so i wasn't aware of it :o ....

i went and added it then , hopefully in the right sub folder as i don't have time to read it right now.....

5034821 lol 3 thumb downs....

5035358 Thnx but whats the source?ny'know, since it comes from the internet?

Man. I think I might let my inner n00b out and write a fixfic for this. Just- just wat. I WANT AN EXPLANATION SO I CAN BELIEVE THIS INJUSTICE WAS JUSTICE. I think I'mma write it here: Twilight was bored one day. She had reached the point where she had read every book she could get 1,000 times over, so she decided to play a prank on her big bro, Shining Armour. She gets all the pones in Poneville and half the population of Cunterlot Canterlot (including the Mane 6 and the 3 remaining Princesses) and devises a plan. The plan was as follows: Cadance would make a comment on April 13th, 1337, which was the day after they devised the plan, on how she would like to have a babby. That night, Luna would screw with his dreams and give him a nightmare about being a babby. Celestia synchronized efforts with Luna and poured some warm water on his nether regions at a time in the nightmare when Shining wet himself. The Rainbow Crash(TM) was unexpected, and happened because Shining started enjoying himself. The day after, everyone in on the prank dropped subtle references to the dream. An unexpected side effect occurred when Shining snapped: he killed 42 people before committing seppuku, ensuring that Chuck Norris, Black Jesus, and the power of Old Spice (which he used twice everyday) would cleanse him of sin and become a ghast, haunting Twilight and her friend by screwing with their dreams, causing them to eventually fall to the power of Old Spice, causing an Armageddon. The battle raged for a century, until the dust settled, the rest saw their better -- Steven Magnet in a bloodstained sweater.

5037812 Spoiler! The idea is cadence is in a meeting with celestia and Luna, but in reality Luna and twilight are dream walking... Because they simply got bored... They stumbled upon shining dream and played in it because... Why not

5036049 pm me... I'll send you the code

5036049 or you could just right click and view image or open image... It gives you the exact source

I was sure it was going to turn out that Shining's dad was Flash Sentry.

My only suggestion is to try and word the story so the "And it was all a dream" ending isn't so obvious.

5039096 honestly... i tried that,... it turneed out too confusing... the its a dream endiung wasnt the real point.... its twilights part that was the surpris ending i wanted

5039032 im sorry, im not a fan of flashipping, twilight and flash go together... that is all.... i dont ever blend flash with anything else

5039920 That's cool, I just figured having Shining Armor confront that private who's now in his bed, with his wife, and making Shining call him "daddy" would have been hilarious.

5039917

Okay, you wanted the jab that Twilight makes to Shining, I get that. Few problems tho:
1) You've already established that he's a Prince, multiple times, the guards probably wouldn't just let her in while he's sleeping. Usually a servant or Seneschal would rouse royalty before someone enters their bed chambers, even family.
2) Where did Cadence go? They went to bed together and now she's gone, did she wake up earlier? How did she leave the scene?
3) You sate that Shining got out of bed and allowed Twilight in by calling out to her. He'd probably know by moving his bed is soaked with sweat. Anyone who's woken from a fever dream knows the sheets are cold and clammy instead of soft and warm. He would probably move to block her view of it.
4) And even then, if he sweat enough to look like he wet the bed, he would appear disheveled and his mane would be matted with moisture, she would probably be more concerned that her BBBFF appears ill or afraid than make a crack about him needing a diaper. There's some character dissonance between her role as babysitter in the earlier scene and annoying younger sister in the next.

Im amused and confused at the same time

5040037

1) You've already established that he's a Prince, multiple times, the guards probably wouldn't just let her in while he's sleeping. Usually a servant or Seneschal would rouse royalty before someone enters their bed chambers, even family.
2) Where did Cadence go? They went to bed together and now she's gone, did she wake up earlier? How did she leave the scene?
3) You sate that Shining got out of bed and allowed Twilight in by calling out to her. He'd probably know by moving his bed is soaked with sweat. Anyone who's woken from a fever dream knows the sheets are cold and clammy instead of soft and warm. He would probably move to block her view of it.
4) And even then, if he sweat enough to look like he wet the bed, he would appear disheveled and his mane would be matted with moisture, she would probably be more concerned that her BBBFF appears ill or afraid than make a crack about him needing a diaper. There's some character dissonance between her role as babysitter in the earlier scene and annoying younger sister in the next.

1) Think about it this way: If Shining is Cadence's Foal, and Twilight is Shining's sister.... and Shining is a Prince, even if Cadence isnt the mother of Twilight, that would technically make Twilight Royalty. Even for at the end, Shining is a Prince, everyone knows Twilight is his sister, especially if you expect him to tell the tale of his and Cadence's wedding, he'd mention Twilight.

2) If you re-read the beginning, Cadence had a regional meeting with Celestia and Luna early in the morning....Shining was too deep into his dreaam to wake up for Cadence.

3) He knew his bed was soaked, he also just woke up, and was groggy, he didnt think it through when he let her in.

4) SPOILERS!... sort of In reality, Twilight wanted to prank Shining, so with Luna's help, who was already there that night for the early meeting, Twilight jumped into Shining's dream. The Twilight in the dream is the exact same Twilight that jabbed Shining that morning.

Again, it's fine to pull the prank.
But it's not established in the story. The whole Dreamwalking thing is just in the comments, the casual reader looking at the story in and of it's self wouldn't know any of that.
That's my point.
You're making leaps of logic that only work for the author because you're the only one that knows everyone's motives for doing what they do, we don't.
You're assuming we know about Twilight's prank in the end when it isn't established in the story.
Hence my problem in enjoying the tale.

5040520 understandable... but as morning gone wrong.... it leaves a lot of imagination to the reader.... albiet yes: my background ideas for writing it are for how i write it... but to others, i like to let them draw thier own conclusions.... its just how i write to be honest

wow that went by really fast....

I really want to like this, truly I do, but this is just coming off as a huge dick move. A horrible abuse of power, with no comeuppance. It's probably just my sense of universal balance talking, but if you're being a bastard to someone, you deserve to have something bad happen to you, preferably by the person that was wronged. That's why I like "Discord Punches Twilight in the Face", someone did something stupid and wrong, CONTINUED doing things stupid and wrong, and ended up with cosmic vengeance. I know that "revenge never gets anyone anywhere", but the fact that they basically mindfucked him without any sort of payback has really pissed me off. I'm sure a few others feel that way as well.

But that's just my two tin cents. I'd tell you not to spend it all in one place, but good luck finding anything cheaper.:twistnerd:

5040927 DOnt worry... if you recall... this is my FIRST story for oneshotvember

interesting. it does bring up some questions though, even if that was a dream.

why was shining with cadance instead of his and twi's parents? that kept nagging at me as i read shining's dream sequence.

i'm guessing you based this before Daring Don't. think about that. daring writes the stories herself, so how can any of her books have a cliffhanger?

this was cute and i highly enjoyed it.

5053610 I wrote this before twilight was even an alicorn so yeah

am I the only one that whants an sequal?:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

5066017 eenope... ive gotten 4 pms, and 3 messages elsewhere

5071387 soo will it be an sequel?

5074509 check out my latest blog

What does this story have to do with Filly Funtasia? I fail to see the connection.

I think you added this to the group by mistake, unless there's a detail I overlooked here.

5074629 yeah, sorry, you can remove it was an accident

not wanting the entire park to see him naked

Is he some kind of idiot?

5077754 he is a foal.... foals wear diapers, and he didnt want anyone he knew seeing him

5078131 And he's a pony, meaning he's always naked.

Twilight walks into the bathroom, and notices that all of the stalls are in use. “Wow! Busy day at the park. I’ve never seen it so full in here. Oh well. I guess this means I’ll just have to take you back to Cadance so she can change you.”

Why would Twilight need a stall to change Shining's diaper? Don't bathrooms have changing stations? Now, maybe if Shining Armor had said he needed to use the bathroom, the detail about all the stalls being in use would make sense. As it is, it really doesn't make sense unless the bathroom doesn't have changing stations, which does not seem likely.

5202391 most bathrooms that I know have the changing room is a stall

5207087 Eh, most public ones I've seen have them out in the open. Maybe it's different for different parts of the world.

5207624 all ones ropund me never have them in the open,. usually hidden away in the handicap stall

5210156 Well, I would still think that bathrooms with changing stations out in the open would be more common than ones that just have them in stalls.

It could be worse.

********

His once again little sister Twilight trots in. She stops just after entering the door. She looks curiously at Shining, then back to the bed. “Wow. That’s a really wet bed… Do you need a new diaper, little sister?” She simply smiles, watching as Gleaming Shield’s face turns beet red.

'Wait... did she just said little sister?'

Awe, did little shining get squished?? Who's an adorable little pile of bloody flesh and broken bones stuck to the tree branch?! You are!! :rainbowkiss:

Typical, "It was all a dream" trick.:ajbemused:

interesting concept to the story

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