Ni~ce

i see you went with the wing idea nice work kid hope to see more chapter in the future

Oh this is going to be a lot of fun. So is this taking place during the first Winter Wrap up in the show? How long will it be before he can come back? Might I suggest that he come back during Discord's return while Twilight is gathering everyone?

5036486 I agree

What is this a crossover of?

Nice story.

5036769 naruto

5036856

No, the most I've seen from the series is someone "crawling out" of his shed skin.

great idea, but it was really fast, like how quickly they gone from figuring out the snake can talk to Spike agreeing to sign the contract... literally seconds apart; and how you 'explained' his apparently natural abilities

5037625 yes it's here.

5039026

I'll work on that. I was just trying to give the names of techniques if people want to look them up.

This chapter will be the last time readers will see the list.

5039582
Why do readers need the list at all? As the person who drew my attention to this story pointed out, it's not as if we begin each Harry Potter book with a list of spells that he knows.

5039026

And when I have time, I'll delete the picture and change the hortzontal rule.

Really, why did no one ever tell me about that! I would have done that since my first story!

You are a writer. So write properly.

I don't want pictures. I don't want an abilities sheet. I want you to describe to me how Twilight looks. I want you to show Spike using these abilities throughout the story instead of listing them at the beginning for my convenience. That's Writing 101.

5039642 that was actually something I forgot to delete.

I made a list of techniques to use in the story, yet limited the amount he knew to keep Spike from growing too powerful. However, I got busy and forgot to transfer my list elsewhere.

I find it frustrating how no one can ever stick to the traditional manuscript format or ebook format of story writing.

It's not a bad idea, nor is the writing really bad either, but it could certainly use some revision.

5039976 f u jack wad

5039976

And they will be shown! This was just an intro and the list.......well.....I was making it when I started choosing abilities to use and forgot to delete it.....oops....

This story has potential. I like it...but it could do with a few...what's the word I'm looking for? 'Fixer Uppers'? Anyway, I like the story so far, but a word of advice, explain what the character looks like, not show it, like this:

The snake looked at his purple saviour. A small, but powerful snout jutted from where a 'mouth' would be. Slanted irises, almost like a cat's or snake's showed concern for the slithering reptile. The emerald green orbs travels over Doku's scale covered body, giving a worried look. Doku's eyes travels down, seeing two four clawed hands, sharpened to a killing edge. His eyes traveled down more to see a three toed foot, the claws gripping at the cold ground. Something waving behind the strange creature caught his attention: a spaded tail, raised aboved the ground. Sharp, green spikes jutted from the top of his head to the tip of his tail, but one thought ran through Doku's mind: A dragon?!

5045858

And this is what happens when two opposing idealists clash. I admit I have some things to clean up (like my accidentally posted list, and a scene that didn't get posted for some reason where Doku actually BEGS Spike to sign the snake summoning contract so he could work on repaying the debt he owes Spike....I was sure I had written that, but it didn't appear....stupid glitches)

However, I admit that starting a "comment war" between people who like the story and those who don't IS excessive.....and doesn't do me any favors.

5047027
The first published story featuring Elric of Melniboné came out just over 50 years ago. The alchemists were much, much later. Do try to get your facts straight if you're attempting to insult someone.

I'll bet Spike has 'wood release' when he's around AJ and Fluttershy... if you know what I mean!

5048250

Pffff......hahahahahaha!

That literally made me crack up!

5049557 This story needs a billion euphamisms.

Come on... snakes... wood... dragon... It's practically giftwrapped as a ready-made sexual pun story!

5049763 that's what Pinkie Pie's for

5049847 I just thought of the most hilarious exchange... I'll PM it to you.

5050440 alright

And before I forget, Doku will be based on a real snake species....The Cottonmouth!

BRILLIANT! No I am not a brit.

"IF I let Spike go with you" Twilight said, stressing the 'if', "I need your word that Spike will come back...I....I can't lose him...." She finished, voice trailing off.

Only if Manda doesn't eat him.