Tainted Gifts

by Touch of Darkness

Casualty of Innocence

I woke up with a jolt, and shot up. Everything was blurry, and I felt sick. I clenched my stomach, and bent over the side of my bed, and let out a sickly brown and bloody stream of puke. I sat there like that for a couple minutes, breathing heavily and letting myself wake up. Then I felt hooves on me, pulling me up and setting me back on my pillow. Still a little bleary, I couldn’t make out exactly who the pony was, but I innately recognized that he or she had good intentions, so I didn’t struggle.

“Are you okay dear?”, asked a female voice. It was soft, gentle, comforting. I felt a sudden trust sweep over me, and as my vision finally began to clear, I began to see why. The mare was a nurse, wearing a little red cross cap. I was in a hospital, or something similar, which was surprisingly quiet for the time of day, which I could tell was early afternoon by the light streaming through a couple windows. The room I was in was small. A chair sat in the corner, my jacket folded neatly on it. I looked at the mare.

“I’m...I’m okay...I just felt a little nauseous…”, I replied. The mare was white, with a pink mane and tail, and had light blue eyes that sparkled with youth and energy, but also contained the softness and compassion of a mother’s eyes. She looked down at the vomit on the ground, and scowled, more in worry than disgust.

“Do you feel fine? Anything feel wrong?”, she asked, looking back into my eyes. I cracked a small smile at her genuine worry. It had been a long time since I had been shown care in such a manner.

“I feel alright. I just woke up feeling a little sick.” I looked down at the vomit. “Sorry about the mess.” The nurse chuckled.

“You don’t join this profession without expecting to see that all the time.”, she joked, and we both managed a small laugh. I looked around, and a humanoid shape moving around caught my attention. I focused on it, and realized I was looking at a mirror, which was reflecting the person from somewhere just past the door that entered into “my” room. Then I saw the outline of a gun under the shirt the person was wearing, and my heart began to race.

“How high up are we?”, I asked. The mare raised an eyebrow at the question, which I knew was strange without context.

“This is a one story building, so ground level. Why?” I looked the mare directly in the eyes.

“I need you to unhook these tubes from me. Right now.” The mare backed up slightly, eyes wide at my sudden change in demeanor.

“I-I can’t do that dear. We need to keep you for a little longer, just to make sure your condition doesn’t go south.” I looked back into the mirror. The human, a man by the looks, was pacing faster now. He seemed impatient. I then looked back into the mare’s eyes, trying to silently plead with her as well as vocally plead with her.

“Trust me on this. I’m okay, and I will remain okay. I need you to let me out right now.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the man stop and clench his fists, and then turn towards the door. I looked back at the mare. She was silent. I quickly scanned the room, and found a tray of medical supplies within reach. My eyes honed in on it, and I quickly formulated a plan. Then, I heard a gun cock, and a little whimper.

“Don’t you dare scream you little bitch…”, said a gruff voice. I didn’t look at the man, but instead focused on his shadow. I watched his movements, pretending to still be asleep. I saw his arm stretch out, and then felt the tip of a gun on my forehead. “To think that you were so successful, only to be brought down by a little flu. I almost pity you.”

“Are you actually going to shoot him?”, asked the mare, her voice hardly even a breath. I heard the man growl, and he swung around to face her. I saw his hand shoot out, and I heard a crack as his gun met the poor mare’s skull, but this was the chance I had been waiting for. I shot forward, grabbed the tray and took a scalpel off of it, and then threw it at the man. Not expecting the barrage of medical instruments, the man shielded himself, and shot off a round in surprise. I yanked the tubes out of my arms, and threw myself at the man. I stabbed the scalpel into his throat, causing him to gag and fall. In my panic, I had missed his jugular, so I knew that the pain would only last until his adrenaline kicked in. Knowing my only option was to run, I grabbed my jacket off the chair, and slammed open the door, which the man had quietly closed to avoid detection.

“Cerus?”, a voice called. It was all too familiar to me, which gave me even more reason not to stop. I pounded down the hall, arms dripping blood from the rough removal of the IV’s. I found the front door and sprinted out of it. There was already a huge commotion from the gunshot, so when I shot through the crowd, bleeding and sickly looking, the crowd turned into a beehive, with ponies and humans alike running every which way. My head began to pound with nausea and my body ached with pain. My lungs couldn’t take any more, but I still ran. I ran because I knew I couldn’t stop. However, my body finally won over my mentality, and I collapsed to the ground, exhausted. I had made it surprisingly far, the edge of the town by the looks, but I simply could not go on. A couple tears escaped me, partially from the pain, and partially from fear and anger.

“Why am I this way, Celestia? Why did you make me such a monster?”, I quietly questioned the dirt. I was vulnerable where I was. If the man had a companion, he would find me, and he would kill me. He would end my pathetic life with one simple bullet. Perhaps it was for the better. If I died, I wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt of everything I had done in my life, a series of terrible fuck ups that had lead to this position that I was currently stuck in. I felt something grab my arm, and I turned to face my demons for the second time in the space of 24 hours.

“Cerus?”, asked the voice of my demons. Except, the voice didn’t belong to a demon. It belonged to...to…

“Applebloom!?”, I cried out, and in panic, wrenched out of her grip and tried to run.

“Cerus! Wait! Please! I just want answers!”, she shouted after me. I slowed to a stop, but didn’t turn to her.

“I have none to give.”

“Come walk with me...let’s get out of here before that goon or his pals show up to try to kill you...again.” Applebloom walked past me at a brisk pace, serious but still worried about the issue at hand.

“Why should I trust you? By the looks of where you are going, you are going to lead me right back to your house, at which point, Applejack will proceed to panic and probably beat me half to death.” Applebloom quivered, and then turned to face me with a snarl cemented on her face.

“Why should you trust me? Trust me!? Here I was, walking into the kitchen, and there is a human sitting at the table. This human seems to be so much nicer than most, and I decide to put my trust in him. Then within a couple minutes, he is choking me, holding me a knifepoint, threatening to take my life if anyone in the house moves.” Applebloom let a sarcastic huff. “And you ask if you can trust me…”

“What reason do you have for me follow you then? If you don’t trust me, and you have no reason to, then what could you possibly want of me?” Applebloom looked down, and was silent for a couple seconds.

“I want to help you...” She said it very quietly, and I could barely hear her.

“What was that? I didn’t quite hear that well.”

“I want to help you.” I blinked in surprise, and I looked at her incredulously.

“You say what?”

“I won’t repeat myself. Now make a decision fast. Either you come with me and hear me out, or I leave you to your own instincts.” Applebloom turned around and began walking away. “Just know that in a small town, news travels fast. Soon, everyone and everypony here will know your face. There will be no safe haven except for the one I am offering you right now. Take it or leave it.” I stood dumbfounded. Never had I ever been more confused in my entire life. I wanted answers. Then I realized the blackmail that Applebloom had used on me, and I couldn’t help but follow her in awe and respect. The little turd had got me as curious as she was, and there was nothing I could do to quell it except for getting the answers for the questions I now had.

---

We had walked for some time in complete silence, and I was beginning to doubt Applebloom’s legitimacy in her words. I turned to her, and opened my mouth to speak, only to have her turn on me with a snarl. Not expecting the sudden anger from the seemingly peaceable young mare, I fell back, and then backed up to the side of the path as she approached me. She had the upper hand, or rather, hoof, now. Fighting or fleeing was not an option. She stopped inches from me, close enough that I could hear her haggard breathing.

“Knife. Now.”, she hissed. I took it out of my jacket pocket, and threw it to the side. I usually wouldn’t have done so, but this situation was different than most I got stuck in. Applebloom wasn’t an adult, and the fact that she was completely innocent when I had threatened to kill her earlier today made me the bad guy here, not her. Plus, I couldn’t just kill her. Not without reason. Even someone as stone hearted as me still had some morality.

“If this-”, I started to say, but Applebloom cut me off.

“Shut up! Don’t say a fuckin’ thing!”, she screamed. I fell silent, and she took a moment to collect herself. “I could have just left you on the ground there, you and I both know that. I could have just ignored you and let your sad little life be taken by some goon. I don’t have any reason to feel sympathy or compassion for you.” She sighed. “My family is scared half to death, and all of them are paranoid about my safety.” A small pause. “The only reason I got out of the house was because I needed to go the hospital. You cut me pretty deep, and I needed a couple stitches.” Applebloom turned her head, exposing small stitches I hadn’t seen before. Then she turned back to me. “Right after I got out of surgery, a gurney shot past me. When I saw you on, pale and limp, I couldn’t help myself. I had to find out if you were okay.” I ventured to ask something, but tensed for a violent reaction.

“What reason do you have to be worried about my health?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t.”

“So then why did you help me?”

“I...I really can’t explain it. Something inside me snapped when I saw that man walk into your hospital room with a gun in his hand. I knew that he was going in for you, with the intention of killing you. When I saw you run out, my first instinct was to not move, but then I saw the man struggling to get up, and I panicked. I ran after you, thinking of what to do.”

“So then you came across me, and thought it would be a good idea to give a safe haven to me, the kid who threatened to murder you, and then almost got murdered himself?” Applebloom smiled in spite of herself.

“Basically.”

“I wish I could respond to that, tell you that you’re crazy, and to just leave me to my own wits. However, I have nowhere else to go. If the safehaven you are offering is what you promise it to be, then I simply won’t question it. You said it yourself. In a couple days, nowhere in this town will be safe, and this town was my last resort.”

"Last resort for what?"

"Perhaps I will explain it to you later." Applebloom was silent as she rolled that around her head, and then she looked at me with a blank expression.

“Well, come along.” She turned to continue down the path. I got up, and dusted off my pants, and picked up my balisong while I was at it.

“Wait.” Applebloom stopped and looked back at me. “What about your sister?”

“Not home. Left with me to take me to the hospital. When she got me in, she told me to just wait there for her. She told me that she would be there to pick me up a little after dark.” I let out a little huff.

“This is way too convenient.”

“I’m questioning it myself.”, Applebloom replied with a smile, and then turned to walk home. I shook my head in disbelief.

“But you-” Applebloom turned to look at me once again. I shrugged my shoulders and walked to her. “Nevermind. I’m not going to question it anymore, at least not for now. I might as well just do this. It’s not like I have anything better to do.” Applebloom rolled her eyes, and then turned around again, and headed toward the farm. I let out a little sigh. What the hell am I getting myself into?, I asked myself, and then proceeded to follow Applebloom. It can’t be that bad, can it?

---

I sat on the floor of Applebloom’s room, drumming my fingers on it. Applebloom was sitting on her bed, silently staring at me. The situation was making me uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to speak. I had a feeling that Applebloom had something to say, and I was waiting for it to come out.

“Uh...hmm…”, she said. I looked up at her, expecting more, but she just scowled and bit her cheek. I huffed, and got up, and began to pace around the floor.

“If you have something to say, then just say it for Celestia sake.”, I remarked. My back was turned to Applebloom, but I felt her eyes fix on me, and then heard her sigh.

“I can’t take my mind of what happened at the hospital.”, she said quietly.

“If you want to know why it happened, you can just ask. Usually I wouldn’t say, but I probably owe my life to you, so I am willing to answer any question you have.” I turned around, and looked into her eyes. She blinked, not yet used to my naturally cold gaze, but then regained her composure.

“Why did that man want to kill you? What could you have possibly done to deserve to die, especially only being a teen?” I sighed.

“I am not going to lie to you, but I warn you that the truth might unsettle you. I will ask this only once: are you sure you want to know?” Applebloom nodded, never letting her eyes leave mine.

“Positive.”

“Okay then.” I walked over to the bed, and sat on the edge. I looked away from Applebloom to think of where to begin. There was silence for a few minutes.

“Cerus?” I looked up, and back into her eyes. She flinched yet again, but kept her gaze locked with mine.

“I...I…” I paused and sighed. I had promised her the truth, and nothing but. I was a man of my word, so breaking that promise was out of the question. “Before I came here, I lived in Manehatten, and I killed people for a living. I was a contract killer.” Applebloom gasped, and her already huge eyes got even wider.

“How old are you?”

“Fifteen.”

“And you killed people for a living?”

“Kill. I never officially ended that as a career. In fact, it’s the reason I am here.” Applebloom took in another sharp breath.

“You’re here to kill someone? Someone in Ponyville?”

“No, and I hope I never have to. This town is too quaint, too innocent. I’m here because I fucked up a job. The person I was supposed to kill turned out to be much smarter than my company had expected. You see, we had intel that he was going to some bar to meet some business partner. My company bribed the bouncer that was to be working the shift that night to let me in, and told him the info on the case. He was to let me in, my partner, the man, and his partner. It was supposed to be quick. Take out the man, suppress his partner, and then get out quickly as possible. Job complete, forty thousand dollars to be split amongst me and my partner.”

“But something happened?” I nodded.

“The man had somehow learned of our mission. He walked in with two guards, who instantly pointed their guns at me and my partner. Luckily we were at a window seat, so my partner thought fast and jumped through the window. The guns started firing, so I followed my instinct and jumped out the window as well. I saw my partner run one way, so I ran another. Unfortunately, the man and his guards saw me running, and his guards followed me to the train station. I took care of them, but the man obviously found out where I had gone pretty quickly. So he sent more of goons to look for me, and kill me.”

“Why did you need to kill him?"

“He made himself seem like a good man. He publicly gave thousands to the poor, gave jobs to those who needed them. However, what people didn’t realize was that the money he used to give to the poor and the money he used to make jobs for those who needed them was only a fraction of the millions he had stole from them.”

“So he made it look like he was helping, but in reality he was using everyone?” I nodded.

“You’d think someone like that would be found out, especially in this day and age, but he was good at covering tracks. My contractor had been gathering info on this man for years, and had sent multiple others to try to get this guy. They all ended up dead or in prison. Finally, my contractor turned to me.”

“He-”

“It.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t know who my contractor is. Nobody under contract with ‘it’ really does. So, we just refer to ‘it’ as, well, ‘it’.”

“Okay, whatever. ‘It’, turned to you, after sending multiple others who ended up dying or being captured by the police? You, a fifteen year old boy?” Applebloom was beginning to doubt me, that much I could tell. If I lost her, then it was over. She needed to know the whole truth, and believe it. So, I kept pushing on.

“I have been signed to the contractor for two years, and in those two years, I have flawlessly murdered twenty seven people. I am one of the most, if not the most, successful contract killer signed to ‘it’.” Applebloom shook her head.

“That’s impossible. There’s no way that you could do that. You’re a kid for crying out loud.”

“Did you expect me to pull a knife on you and threaten to kill you? More so, did you expect me to actually hurt you to prove I would follow through on my threat?”

“Well...no…”

“There’s all the proof you need. There’s not one person or pony that I personally know that would expect their demise to come from a kid as young as me. I have the surprise factor everytime.”

“You aren’t lying, are you?”

“I promised to tell you the truth, so I did.” Applebloom looked down and shook her head in disbelief.

“How can you possibly live with yourself knowing you have killed all those people and ponies?”

“I can live with myself because they were all evil to begin with. Plus, I had a childhood that children should never have to go through. I grew up scarred physically and emotionally. The only emotions I ever truly feel are anger, sadness, and contempt. It takes someone or somepony with qualities that are polar opposite of mine to get me to really feel things like happiness, joy, compassion, anything in those ranks. Call me cold blooded. Call me stone hearted. I don’t care. They are both true.”

“Is it wrong to feel scared right now?”

“Not at all.”

“Should I be questioning my decision to bring you here.”

“Perhaps, perhaps not.”

“Give me a yes or no.”

“I am tempted to say yes, but I say that you shouldn’t. You gave me a safe haven when I needed it most. I will repeat that I more than likely owe my life to you. You saved mine, I won’t take yours, or anyone else close to you for that matter. Is that a good enough answer?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” There was silence for a little while. Then, Applebloom got off the bed, stretched, and headed to the door.

“I’ll be back.”

“Where you headed?” Applebloom looked back at me.

“Takin’ a small walk. Need to think about a couple things.”

“Okay, you go do that.” Applebloom turned around again, but then something occurred to me. “Hey.” Applebloom once again turned to look at me.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for hearing me out, and not casting me out after hearing my story.” Applebloom smiled.

“We’ll see.”

“What does that mean?” It was too late. She had already left and shut the door behind her.

---

It had gotten dark outside, but Applebloom still wasn’t home. My paranoia began to take hold, and I couldn’t help myself seeing her dead and bleeding on the ground, shot to death by some goon that was after me. I was down in the kitchen pacing when I thought I heard a voice shouting somewhere in the distance. I listened to it get closer and closer. It gained clarity until it was recognizable. My heart began to beat faster, and I ran upstairs, looking for somewhere to hide. The voice had distinctly belonged to Applejack, who, at least by the context of the conversation she was having, was shouting at Applebloom. I barreled into Applebloom’s room, and saw in the lamplight by her bed that it was just high enough off the ground that I could fit under it. I ran to the lamp, and turned it off. Then, I felt my way to the bed, and slipped under it. I slowly turned myself so that my head was facing the door, so I could see it. I heard the front door open and slam shut.

“You had me scared half to death Applebloom!”, Applejack chastised.

“I panicked!”, Applebloom cried out in response.

“Bullshit!”

“Applejack, I swear, someone walked into the hospital with a gun! Ask anyone!”

“I don’t believe it.”

“Applejack-”

“Applebloom, if you went to see your coltfriend, I will find out.”

“I didn’t! Why don’t you believe me!?”

“No one in this town is psycho enough to try to shoot up a hospital.”

“You don’t know that!”

“In fact, I do. I have lived here all my life Applebloom. Remember that I’m not a kid like you. I’m an adult, and have been for quite a few years. Plus, I’m on the town committee, where you have to get to know everyone in the town.”

“Oh yeah, the fauxmmittee. What a joke.” At this point, Applejack lost it.

“Go to your room, right now!”

“Fine. Not like I wanted to stay down here with you anyway.”

“Hey! Look at me!”

“Why!?”

“I said look at me!” I heard Applebloom cry out in surprise.

“Applejack, what are you-” I cringed when I heard an audible smack, and a cry of pain from Applebloom. Then, I heard the sound of galloping hooves up the stairs, and watched Applebloom gallop through the door. She slammed it, and locked it, and then stumbled over to her bed. She collapsed onto it and began to sob. I wanted to comfort her, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how. I had never been taught to comfort and console. I had only been taught to taunt and berate and defile. I curled into myself and put my hands under my head. I closed my eyes and attempted to sleep, but I couldn’t. Not while Applebloom was crying. Not while I kept telling myself that it was my fault that she was crying. If had I just let the cops take me, everything would have been fine. If I hadn’t used my “gift” to kill them, I wouldn’t have passed out in the street, and ended up in the hospital. Better yet, if I had just never showed up in Ponyville, Applebloom wouldn’t have been hospitalized by my knife, and therefore, would never end up in this situation. It all came down to the ghost that haunted me. I could live with myself, a heartless killer, and never regret a thing. But when an innocent child suffered because of my actions, it was all I could do to not scream and pull out my hair. It was all could to try to sleep at night, tossing and turning as the thought of their suffering rolled around my head. Listening to Applebloom sob was no different. It wasn’t until she had literally cried herself to sleep that thought of myself getting any sleep could enter my mind.

“I’m so sorry Applebloom…”, I choked as her sobs faded to silence. “I hope you never forgive me…”

“I would never want you to forgive a monster…”