(About to undergo heavy reworking; stay tuned)
Long ago, there existed a great evil. Its greatest desire was to destroy all that ever was. It nearly succeeded, but was sealed away at the last moment. Since that time, it has slowly been regaining power. It is about to escape, and the world as we know it could cease to exist.
Will the Mane Six be able to stop this force before it is too late?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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472130
Well met, sir.
This is a comment. The story feels a little formal to me but that's just my opinion. Never-the-less, it's well written. I'm really liking the setup with all the building tension.
OK, let's get down to business. HA! Using your own words against you! Muahaha*smack* OK, I'm back from the dark side. Where was I? Oh yes.
Well timed and perfectly played.
(And if you need a pre-reader, I'll gladly help out. Just remember that: Proof-reader=fixes grammar, Pre-reader=helps out with story and gives feedback. Editor=does both.)
For a prologue, you do really well. You introduce the main characters very well (though perhaps your didn't need to explain their looks, as most people more than likely know them already, but I digress).
Your plot seems legitimately interesting, and I want to know more about it. This is the most crucial aspect of a story, and you handle it well.
Also, your comedy. "Especially YOU, wall number four! I'M WATCHING YOU!" Just brilliant!
If there's one thing that is wrong with this (and I don't know if it's like this in chapter 1 yet), is the flow. You constantly change scene, and while this is needed to get around to all the characters, it breaks the flow, which I've seen many a story suffer from.
That's really all I have to say. Good story, I'll keep reading.
-Glassed
476016
Wow, thanks! Yeah... the prologue is a bit jumpy... it'll even out soon. And... looks like I'm looking for an editor, by those definitions. May I PM you with the code of pre-viewing?
476046 Sure go ahead, but I warn you; I'm not able to help out with grammar
I'm horrible at it in fact 
-Glassed
The plot thickens! You have my attention Starlight
-Glassed
476060
Well, I don't know of any rule out there saying I can't have more than one editor.
Thanks!
*looks at all the notes*
"Well... There's a lot of stuff for me to reference... WOOHOO!"
-Glassed
635585
Yeah, I just figured you might want to see what's coming down the line.
There's quite a bit!
I better buckle down....I got competition!
733418
Say WHAT now? Are we writing about the same thing? I... I am confused, good sir.
733424 Hardly.
But I am writing a story that has alot to do with history...I just need to get more of it done though.
733449
AH! I understand now. Best of luck to you!
Which story is this? Perhaps I should read it. (Read: request for shameless self-promotion)
hope you update soon since this is such a good read
MMA Fluttershy That I would love to see.
852161 Oh, gosh, I missed your comment, sorry! I...
thank you so much; you just made my day! ...It may be awhile yet, though... sorry. 
I still have to clear off my desk!
880059 Yeah, me too... I'll need to do a bit of research on what actually goes on with some MMA stuff. Martial arts, obviously, but it's the little details, here. You know...
I'm faving this story solely based on this chapter...
Well, that, and the others are really good, but whatever :P
I really love a solid piece of headcanon, at least when it's properly explained and expanded. This is some seriously good stuff right here.
959011 Wow, thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. The headcanon is one of the main reasons I decided to actually write this in the first place... it wouldn't stop Pinkie-Pie-ing around in my brain.
Pinkie Pie is now a verb.
Looking foward to the next chapter. This is yet another of those fics that I see and think "Geeze, how is it this isn't More well known, when some Utter Dross is soaking up everyone's attention
1020438
Thanks. I haven't updated it in... some time, now, but maybe the next time I do... I don't know. Maybe folks will notice it. Maybe they won't. You did, however, make me feel great!
1020503 Heh. I just calls it as I sees it. One Never knows how the dice'll roll. Maybe it'll become popular, Maybe it Won't. You'll just have to update and find out! (cue AJ :P) As long as you Enjoy yourself while you're writing, Does it really matter if you're up to your ears in Commentors?
1022032 EXACTLY! Thank you!