Luna's Nightmare

Everyone has nightmares. Some are about our worst fears coming true. Others are bad things happening to the ones we love.

Princess Luna has been freed from her nightmare come true of being Nightmare Moon. Yet even with things seemingly returning to normal, all is not right.

And some nightmares can return in unsuspecting ways...

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 6 )

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Hoof of Approval

Hoof of Approval #1 · Apr 16th, 2012 · · ·

Okay, problems.

I can tell you've put a lot of thought into this, but I have issues. First things first. Actually, this is the main problem.

The conversations, the dialogue. It's all stuffed into one paragraph. And what I mean by that is, you are breaking a quite important rule of writing. Each line of spoken word that comes from a different character should have its own line. This is a problem that happens far too often, and needs to be fixed. I'd love to like this story, it has potential. But with this glaring issue, I can't...

There are a few other things I'd describe, but this is the big one. Fix it. Perhaps I'll tell you of the more subtle things if you do.

poisedanimeBloke

poisedanimeBloke #2 · Dec 30th, 2012 · · ·

Dont listen to Hoof of Approval. Hes one of those picky wicky ponies that hates anything that isnt status queue.
It was an amazing story it was enjoyable and I love how you had Celestia handle the situation.