Every antagonist is the protagonist of their own story.
The Elements of Harmony keep the tree in the Everfree thriving. However, what were to happen should the Elements be damaged? Ponyville learns the hard way why a bond must never be severed, and why a crack needs to be mended.
-Being tinkered with for right now, edits and stuff. On Hiatus while I... fix whatever was broken.
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3 Dislikes already? Tough Crowd...
Any of you Negative Ponies care to tell me what you didn't like?
4866765 Some things are phrased awkwardly, there are several errors, and most importantly, PINKIE'S PROBLEM MAKES LITERALLY NO SENSE.
4866765 Also, tip: Complaining about a 3:0 dislike to like ratio comes across as you whining.
4866815
Ah, I guess I just phrase some things weird, might have to fix that. Google will be my ally in that quest.
Pinkie's problem is, I guess, the main problem. The story will resolve around what she's acquired mysteriously, and I should clear it up then. Still, I don't think it detracted that much from the ending. I mean, smiles are all that matter, right?
4866829
I wasn't too concerned on the dislikes, just that some people dislike after reading a few sentences, and I would appreciate some feedback.
4866845 I'd say it does detract from the story's quality. It seems like an excuse—to me anyway—to drive apart the mane six and probably kill Pinkie at the end than it does an actual disease.
4866856 You could just leave out the complaint then and just ask for critiques.
4866872
Sorry for late response (Comp crash at bad time)
I'm already going to look over it again, I'm just saying that I wrote it like I'd like to read it, and I'll wait a day or two to see if there's any similar or conflicting opinions. If not, I'll revise how I see fit and then work on the next chapter. If it feels forced, I'll realize it after a few days break. Still, I thank you for the responses and your opinions on the subject.
I believe your story was well written compared to some of the other stories roaming about on this site. Yes there are errors and you make it kind of obvious what's gonna happen to pinkie. As a matter of fact, there arent really ANY surprises in this story. You want to avoid that, it makes the story feel like a history book, something you just read to learn. The smile at the end was a nice creepy touch. Overall I had a good feel of the story, and for that, you deserve a like!
It is a very good story, It is decently written,
You get a like. And i hope you can continue with it. Like someone else said, it was obvious,
but as you said "this is just the begining" , i want to know more :D