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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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i thought the missus cake bit was a story by pinkie and didn't actually happen
while good, this chapter was distrurbing thanks for the update
please be nice to Derpy she's one of my favorate ponies
Eh, heh yea The Twiclones are best taken Care of when Twilight calls Trixie.
DERPY!
4389485 actually, he said we could decide whether we thought pinkie was telling the truth or not. it wasn't ever confirmed or not until now.
disturbing and yet strangely arousing
That was fun. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work.
Well, that was rape-tastic.
And yes, it would be nice for Twilight to have a chapter where she gets to be awesome and dominant, rather than being introduced to a new herdmate non-consensually as she usually is.
Or more disturbingly, breaking out that record she's kept of every time someone's taken advantage of her 'hilariously', and paying them all back. With interest. Okay, done with the creepy now.
Has Twilight banged the Princesses? She should totally bang the princesses. Bang'em so hard she fucks the excess alicorn right outta'em and onto her. And Shining should be tied up in a corner watching when she does Cadence. Bonus points if Cadence talks about how amazing Twilight is the whole time.
At least Roseluck will be happy with the way Twilight Fires her from the herd. Through the roof. Orgasmic Power.
I'm sorry, but I really didn't like this chapter, for a couple reasons.
Firstly, I really disliked that Rarity attempted to have sex with Twilight while she was still bound. It just crosses a bad line, especially given she knows what Twilight just went through.
Secondly, the end bit with roseluck and the pinkie promise. Unless I'm mistaken, we never actually see Twilight do the promise, its just inferred later and kinda seems like you were just pulling a reason out of thin air. Also, while Pinkie has been shown to be fanatical about Pinkie promises, she has also shown to be instantly forgiving in the case of loopholes. Don't you think she would actively look for a loophole if it meant keeping Twilight away from a dangerous, unbalanced individual, or at the very least, Twilight would try to find a loophole? It's kind of insulting to Pinkie's character to assume she would put an arbitrary and totally coerced promise over the well being of her alpha.
Lastly Roseluck has an obsession with Twilight, and Twilight asks her to see a therapist, good. But then she continues to fuck her? Bad! That is literally the wost thing she could do, since it would reinforce her own delusions and mean that she'll be incapable of getting better. Its actually kind of sick when you think about it! Twilight is, in a way, taking advantage of a mentally disturbed individual for sex. Roseluck is sick, she isn't in full control of herself, so Twilight using her obsession to actually get sex from her is, ironically enough, rape.
DERPY!!!! Also I thought Twi doing Cup Cake was just a rumor Pinkie started.
Another thing, the Twi-Clones thing show up in Ponyville tour which is After this chapter. Maybe you should just make this chapter a deleted scenes type thing.
Hmmm... now that I've read it, I'm not sure how to feel about it. While the sex was good, I think there may have been a problem or two in it. Mostly, I think that potion or no, Twilight's fear response would likely kill her boner pretty quick, especially after having it stomped on by a hoof. There may have even been damage from something like that, but the sex continues on regardless. At the very least, if the potion kept it hard, it should have caused Twilight pain every time it was used (not that I want that to happen, I just think that it would be realistic).
Secondly, I doubt Twi would have fed into Rose's obsession like that at the end. She would recognize how bad an idea that would be, and that Rose would never get better if her unacceptable behavior was rewarded with what she wanted in the first place.
Lastly, why Sherclop Holmes? I get that you're trying to ponify a name, but horse puns are usually for cities and places, not characters. Personally, I would have went with Sure-lock Homes. Sounds the same, but has the advantage of following the naming conventions of the show. Having read this now, I wouldn't object to it getting a makeover. The first two things I mentioned do need to be addressed, at the very least, I think.
An insane asylum is what Roseluck needs.
This is all a dream of Twilight's, dood. It never happened... Rosleuck is not a creepy stalker, dood.
So this was all luna?
Will we see rosleuck again?
I absolutely loved this chapter. The obsession part was meh but in the end, were you find out its a dream made this amazing in my opinion. Many likes by me.
Huh... Aww, just a dream? Poopy, there were some really nice reactions by Chryssie in there.