Rarity purchases contacts from overseas. They cost her 500 bits so the must be good. Right? Right?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm impressed. The grammar errors in this chapter were incredibly thin, and even then they were simple mistakes such as run on sentences and a few cases of mixing up contractions such as 'its' and 'it's.' The only other one that I noticed a few times was forgetting to put a space between a comma and the word that followed it. It looks like grammar shouldn't be too much of an issue from this point on, so now I can focus more on the story instead.
Dark Side's waking up scene is pretty well done. Its slow build on what is around him reflects what he would notice in order while his senses started working again. I do have to question how he knew that Celestia had been imprisoned. I was sure he had blacked out after getting hit by his reflected attack, and that was before Fluttershy freaked out on her. Just a small continuity error I noticed. This is, of course, assuming that he did get knocked out instantly.
One side effect of the clear grammar that I noticed is a greater appreciation for Dark Side's sense of humor. It's a lot easier to imagine how someone is saying something when the text it's coming from has very few or no flaws. This change of inflection makes his jokes much easier to see and enjoy.
Just like I predicted back during the first story, your work is improving. Either that or you got your hands on a decent editor, but I'll stay positive and assume that this is all your work with no middle man. It looks like there will be a fight scene next chapter, so I'll get a chance to judge your skill at longer combat sequences. I look forward to the next update.
Yeah, didn't get an editor yet. I'm starting to reconsider getting one, but it may be for the best. I tried to make him humorous while still having a dark backstory and, hence his name, a ' Dark side'