Rarity purchases contacts from overseas. They cost her 500 bits so the must be good. Right? Right?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You may be expecting me to exclaim 'called it' in response to being correct about Pinkamena being the killer. Once again, I may have a large ego, but it's not that bad. There is a point I didn't realize that this chapter brought into the spotlight. Luna shouldn't have been here in the first place, so why was she? Since you're the one who brought it up, I'm certain it will be addressed sooner or later.
Now onto Pinkamena herself. I can see Madara trusting this version of her much more easily. She still shows mental instability by switching between uncaring and anime-style yelling so quickly, but it lines up closer to the actions of a homicidal maniac than before. A bad guy shouldn't trust someone who sounds like a loyal servant half the time and like a good guy the other half. A bad guy should trust the mare who becomes excited when hurting someone who opposes him. A sadistic psychotic is easier to see as being trusted by Madara while still keeping it clear to the audience that she could be pulled back to the good side, though not without a lot of effort and blood loss.
Next is something that was a little disappointing, Twilight's roll in the chapter. Don't get me wrong, I can see why she would be angry enough to want revenge of some sort. I can also see how easy of a target this would turn her into for Madara's mind control. What disappointed me was the fact that we didn't get to see her decent to anger. The last time she and Dark Side interacted, she seemed to be pretty kind towards him. I can see how his involvement in everything that's happened would make her angry, but I don't think it happened overnight. Once again, the time skip let you pass up a lot of good chances for character development and revealing plot details. I can accept everything that's happened in the story, but I can't fully agree with not showing us what made these things happen.
In short, this was an alright chapter. The reveal of Pinkamena as the killer was good (though not very surprising,) the resulting fight scene was good, and Pinkamena's characterization as a whole was very good, but the details that were cut out for the sake of including the time skip are what keep these last two chapters from being any better. The two things that need to be explained above all else are the origins of Rainbow's abilities and how Luna was in this secret facility. I'm not sure of an easy way to fix the issue with skipping Twilight's character development, but I think I can overlook it in the long run. It's still believable, so don't worry about that much.
I can handle a bit of a wait. Besides, the school year starts back up soon, so I'll need some time to readjust my reading schedule to work around the decrease in my free time. I'll still be sure to try to read and comment on any new chapters that pop up the day they are posted, but my response time will probably be slower than usual for a while. I look forward to the next update.