• Member Since 4th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 49 minutes ago

Estee


On the Sliding Scale Of Cynicism Vs. Idealism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon, Ko-Fi.)

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This story is a sequel to A Total Eclipse Of The Fun


Following the events of the second Return Day, Celestia and Luna made a pair of agreements. The second is that it's finally time to correct for a thousand years and more of almost totally nonexistent cooking skills. However, that's going to require teachers. And two very lucky ponies, the recently cross-promoted Solar head chef Anise Verum and her junior sous, Blending Stock, get to be the ones who instruct them.

There are lessons to be learned in that kitchen.

The first concerns how to survive explosions.


(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits welcome. This story is a sequel to A Total Eclipse Of The Fun, but it's not necessary to have read that one first.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 72 )

:trollestia: ... whenever somepony destroys an antique which only seems to exist for causing some level of pain to those who use it, ponies will spontaneously materialize, sometimes gathering from gallops away, simply so they can complain about the senseless act of destruction? ...

Had to stop reading to post, "this sounds familiar, somehow." Having done so, I return to my gleefully accepted duty of completing my reading of the chapter.

Edit: Drat. It's Complete. There is something very compelling about hearing The Sisters discuss a shared memory in only the barest terms. Especially Discordian ones.

THIS SUCKS SO DOES UR PROFILE PICTURE

Change the status. Write more.

How do you do this? You mix comedy and feels so freely and there is no mood whiplash.

Going into the Heartwarming group.

I love the excellent sense of humor and timing you have. The banter between Princesses was so well-crafted. This was absolutely a fun, hilarious read!
:twilightsmile:

not often do I laugh out loud when reading a story, but you have done it.

I wish I had more time tonight to give this the sort of response it deserves, but I should at least say: thank you. Brought some smiles to my face. Like the act upon which it focuses, it's about the blend of materials and the care of its construction: and the mix of sweet and nostalgic and comic works very well. I'm glad I read it.

Excellent work, as per usual.

That was wonderful. A mundane modern act becomes a stepping-stone to a mythical world, and lets us see into the minds of the semi-divine. With ice cream, and explosions.

4706101
You're everything wrong with the Internet. Please go, pl0x?

Also, I'll have you know that there is a special place in hell for people who call butterflies stupid.

4707784
God, the way you worded this comment is awesome. Like, I'm pretty sure you could make anything sound like a masterpiece.

And also kind of tantalizing. I'm hungry now.

I came to have a good laugh.

I was not expecting the feels that came with it.

This is an excellently written piece. I loved every moment of it.

The sisters' tastes make perfect sense. Each has a sweet tooth, for sugar would've been hard to find in their formative years. How each likes her sugar maps to her elemental affinity. Celestia likes it flamed, Luna frozen.

The fact that whenever somepony destroys an antique which only seems to exist for causing some level of pain to those who use it, ponies will spontaneously materialize, sometimes gathering from gallops away, simply so they can complain about the senseless act of destruction?

Gee, I wonder what that could be referring to. :raritywink:

Luna made ice cream explode. That's definitely going in the TV Tropes page. Also, Celestia had a moment of Fridge Logic. Oven Logic?

Boysenberries are actually a crossbreed between four other berry species. I'm not at all surprised that they were found in the wild during Discord's reign.

You are a horrible, wonderful tease when it comes to the Discordian Era. I almost don't want to see a story set then, because the outlines you sketch are so fascinating and fun to fill in. Mind you, I did say "almost."

All in all, a magnificent story of the two ponies beneath the crowns, and a very put-upon pair of ponies who have to try and convince them that phenomenal cosmic power does not belong in the kitchen. A delicious read. Thank you for it. :twilightsmile:

Some way, somehow, it would be nice to see the continued machinations of two princesses trying to cook, if anything, I enjoy the reminiscing they relapse into while tending to different ingredients and such.

4708909 I once found Poisonberries, but I misheard the guide and didn't discover my mistake until later. :pinkiesick:

So the Princesses can cook about as good as Sweetie, then? :unsuresweetie:

I expect a monumental amount of devastation. :trollestia:

4705959

I'm absolutely certain that I have no idea what you could possibly mean.

4708909

Nope. Still not a single clue as to what the two of you are mutually talking about. Really, it's amazing how some readers just perceive things in the writing which were never there...

Tropes for this one... I'm not sure if Lethal Chef is meant to apply on the creation phase, but it may be as close as we get. And there's a tiny Shout Out in the text -- because while she and the relevant character have pretty much absolutely nothing in common, "Did I err?" felt like a perfect moment of Lunaspeak.

4709570

And thus did Alondro discover the bottom of the cooking skills comparison barrel. Let everypony involved hang their heads in shame and retreat from public life forever. Or not.

Still... ouch.

(Among the main differences: at least the sisters are capable of recognizing a mistake after the fact.)

Perfect resept for a story. And a perfect ending.

4709815 It reminds me of a favorite goofy pony story: The Worst Bakers In Equestria, by Bob From Bottles, who hasn't yet posted it here.

I must poke him until he does.

Im so sad this is a one shot, it is such a good read that I would love to see more of it.

I wonder if it is an inherent trait of Alicorns (or potential alicorns). Doesn't Spike do most of Twilight's cooking in your 'verse too?

Perhaps that's how Celestia chooses ponies to asscend. Terrible cook, rise to near god like status... (Is Flankinton next?)

4709815
We invoke the Death of the Author (crushed beneath a metaphorical antique recumbent piano). :trollestia:

4712102
I believe Twilight is lousy at cooking not because she doesn't have the aptitude, but because she's never bothered to learn. She's the kind of a pony who, without Spike, would live on nothing but coffee and stale sandwiches, eaten at her desk.

Also, I think Cadence can cook quite well. Shining Armor's probably only an adequate cook, but big on balanced and nutritious meals.

I love that Celestia actually is familiar with Scootaloo

Of all the berries in the world, you choose one of the ones that's definitely a man-made hybrid. And now I'm sitting here trying to figure out if that was deliberate, and what you mean to imply if it was.

"And thank you, Scootaloo!"

Why'd she say that?
__________________________

Good fic. I'm glad that this fic had where it was in the continuity. On your forum page are you ever going to do something like LunaVerse Season Listing? Since the TropesPage doesn't give Continuity rather just clumps fics together. Cool looking, but having somepony making an updated Contunuity listing would be good.

4713506
4713909

When Ponyville submits yet another ream of Crusade-related disaster relief request forms, who do you think is signing off on them? Add that to a few frustration-riddled letters from Twilight and while our local Celestia may not have personally met Scootaloo, she's more than a little familiar with her work.

So in 'verse continuity, a certain level of disaster can be summed up as And Then Scootaloo, and Celestia herself just used the name as a one-word metaphor for doing something stupid because you were too impatient for reaching the result the sensible way.

Quite the reputation our filly is getting. Pity there's no mark in it.

4713534

This is where the writer admits to a happy accident: if I was aware it was a created fruit, it was on a deep subconscious level, one where I can't remember ever learning that to begin with -- and so for this one, I'll say I stumbled onto it by chance.

But if you want to see it as a Discord creation which did survive to the modern day... I can go with that, and thankee.

(Doing so may also add a layer to what was noted during A Total Eclipse Of The Fun: that for ponies of the sisters' generation, there's a level of inherent shame in openly admitting that any of his creations were beautiful, worthwhile... anything other than chaotic nightmare.)

4711666

I hadn't seen that one before. And thank goodness, because now I can honestly say 'Big fandom we're got, isn't it?'

4713069

I believe Twilight is lousy at cooking not because she doesn't have the aptitude, but because she's never bothered to learn. She's the kind of a pony who, without Spike, would live on nothing but coffee and stale sandwiches, eaten at her desk.

*nods* I agreed with you.

Twilight's kitchen was really more of an undergrown breakfast nook: there was just barely enough room to prepare a halfway-decent meal and ingredients to -- well, the librarian cooked badly and ate worse. Without Spike keeping an eye on her nutrition and doing nearly all of the meal creation himself, Twilight tended towards the eating model of Let Me Grab A Five-Second Snack Before I Get Back To This Scroll. Meals might have been the one factor in the librarian's life which weren't planned. In the event of dragon vacation, Pinkie's first duty was to keep the once-unicorn from collapsing into a vitamin-free stupor.

Cadance... can drink truly terrifying amounts of coffee.

4712102

Perhaps that's how Celestia chooses ponies to asscend. Terrible cook, rise to near god like status... (Is Flankinton next?)

...well, Luna's going to be cleaning up after that nightmare for a while...

4713967

Yep. That is the perfect explaination for any disaster. As for insurance forms, I thought that the CMC caused that market to crash from all the money they had to pay out. Although thinking about it, we never see her sign off on those [didn't know it was her]. Seriously we need to see a fic that details Celestia's and Twilight's look into the filly, and the sister's finally getting the courage, intestinal fortitude, and strength to investigate Scootaloo, and meet the filly in person.

I'd die from the hilarity that'd come from CMC meets Royal Sisters. Do you think we'd see that fic someday? And Scootaloo's reaction to the Equestrian's newest phrase "And then Scootaloo."?

I love the connection between cooking, scent and memory in this story I also love how your Luna is perpetually thin - skinned.
One question: Since Discord is reformed now, why don't they just ask him for more Cantomile? I'm sure he would love it, that they missed any part of his chaotic reign.

The fact that whenever somepony destroys an antique which only seems to exist for causing some level of pain to those who use it, ponies will spontaneously materialize, sometimes gathering from gallops away, simply so they can complain about the senseless act of destruction?

:trixieshiftright:

Now I wonder where I might have heard that one before.

And you told me yeast is alive.

I remember the most fascinating story about sentient yeast. Applejack was fermenting cider, I think, and the yeast formed a civilization and a religion and had schisms and formed sects. It combined biology with a microcosm of humanity. It was great.

This is great. The verse just gets deeper and deeper.

Oh, Estee... this was just so freaking good!

I fell in love with your writing originally because of your more specifically heart-wrenching works, ones that pulled on my spirit and demanded that it remember love, grieve for death, and reassemble itself after being nearly destroyed. Such joy, even amid all the glorious pain!

But this... this was freaking FUNNY! I laughed so hard I was crying... and then, out of nowhere, those glimpses into What Was, through the memories of the Sisters.... By the blood on Luna's horn, that made it exquisite - a flavor on the mental palate that, were it one of her culinary experiments, would make Anise weep in adulation and pray to every entity she could name that she would be able to re-create it.

So, to continue my response to your journal asking why follows happen? This. Everything I've written above, and every other heartfelt comment and tear-fueled sonnet I have written in response to your stories.

This ineffable beauty, which you craft and share with me. With others too, of course... but for right now, in this moment: with me.

Thank you.

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

4713967

Crusade-related disaster relief request forms

I love you with all amounts of homo. THAT'S TOO FUNNY!

Very good story, entertaining in every way and I truly enjoy how the two get pulled back into there memories when a scent, a sound, a sight is put before them. I would love if you wrote a story of that time a 1000 years ago when they were on the run with the old friends, or more likely there family. I would love if you wrote of the time of when they were on the run from Discord. You have the talent to make it come alive.

4710756
It appears your poking succeeded.
I remember reading that one, way back in the mists of time.
I actually thought I read Worst Bakers here, and was trawling my favorites for it. I'm going to have to reread it now :pinkiehappy:

Making ice cream is actually a lot of fun. So many things to experiment with. :twilightsmile:

Though Luna's...unique methods do seem to lend a new meaning to the term "flash freezing"

4959967 MUWAH HA HA HA!!

I do love stories like these, where the Princesses aren't perfect immortal gods, and yet are still the wellsprings of ancient memory and experience.

They're kind of like The Doctor that way. :raritywink:

4710425 Cadance used to be Twilight's sitter. That doesn't mean she can COOK, but it does imply she has some basic, modern household skills.

What a great story, Luna accidently inventing deep fried ice cream was funny, the kitchen exploding twice was hilarious and the remembrances about the past were very bittersweet.
Plus the way Luna spent the entire time snarking at Celestia but as soon as Ainse started shouting jumped into defend her, which is such a good depiction of the sibling relationship.

For some reason, I found the fact that both Celestia and Luna can't cook hilarious but logical at the same time, I think I'll add it to my personal headcannon.

4969347
Well, you know, Cadence could've taught Twilight the magic of Coffee and Stale Sandwiches.

I'm going to recommend this story to others. It's that good. :rainbowwild:

I was amused at this. The most surreal and amusing moment, for me, was when the cherry that had, presumably, gotten stuck to the ceiling, fell down and stuck to the tip of Luna's horn, and she continued talking, none the wiser, which brought me a sensible chuckle. I am now inexplicably hearing them speak in the voices from the "Two Best Sisters Play" videos on Youtube.

I also like the approach of the Princesses as fallible and relatable, though I will admit that I generally think of both Princesses as being nearly godlike--Dr. Manhattan in quadrupedal form, capable of rearranging a solar system with a thought and a raised eyebrow:

"A brownie and a muffin contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's little discernible difference. Baking is an unquantifiable abstract. Why should I be concerned?"

This is one of those stories that gets better thanks to episodes airing long after it was posted.
Because thanks to Slice of Life, I can totally see this happening (or to have happened).

This was pretty amusing. Although, it offers more glimpses into the past of your setting that have been suspiciously forgotten.

4979971 that's general unspoken rule of having siblings. No one else is allowed to make fun of them cause that's your job.

4715122 oh that reminds me of a Justice League comic book where a young boy had sentient bacteria in his head...they had just reached an industrial revolution, so their pollution was reaching dangerous levels. so the superheroes shrank and tried to talk to them, warning them that they needed to clean up or be destroyed...but things got complicated, a civil war started, and a factory exploded, which then prompted the doctors to destroy them all with a surgical laser...

and there's an amusing epilogue where one of them manages to send his son to safety with a small rocket...

Why couldn't they just lift the ice cream machine up a few feet so she wouldn't have to duck?

This was a very fun story, definitely going in my favorites. Not only did you make a situation where ice cream explodes believably, you also mixed in emotions in a way that didn't interrupt the flow of the story. Nice work.

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